Girliegirl50611
Member
Iowa. Our children are 12, 11 & 9 years old. Their father and I have been divorced for about 3 1/2 years. He has never really taken them on a regular basis, just when it is convenient for him. We were living within one mile of each other and that seemed to make no difference. Recently, my fiance & I bought a home, so now we live about 25 minutes from my ex. This past year my ex has told me that the kids are old enough to call him when they want to come and see him. I totally disagree. He is the adult and it is his responsibility to arrange visitation with them. Our youngest, the 9 year old, does call and spends time with him but the older two do not. Now it has gotten to the point that the 12 & 11 year old want nothing to do with their father. They feel that he does not love them enough to call them or ask them to come on his scheduled weekends. It is starting to cause some animosity between them and their younger brother. Their father favors the 9 year old and does "special" things with him that he does not do if they do go to see him. Father says that he does not have to take the kids on his scheduled weekends if he does not want to but then he turns around and wants 9 year old to come on my weekends. I am at my wits end as to how to handle this situation. I do not think that I am going to be able to get my point across to him. I do know that he is ruining his relationship with his two oldest children. Maybe I should not be concerned about that, but when he turns the tables on my kids and makes them feel guilty for not initiating the visitations , I get angry and confront him about it. Any advice on talking to my children & their father about what he is doing?