Father seeks sole custody of daughter

[Ray23]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas
ok so i am asking this question for my fiance. He has a 7 year old daughter who at this time lives with us in our home, we have her enrolled in school and she does not see her biological mother. It has been a little over a year. And before that she saw her maybe 3 times for during 2 months she decided to come to see her. She has basiclly been in and out of her life since she left her at 9 months old with her father. My question is how can my fiance obtain sole custody. they have never gone to court. She recently called saying she was tired of being away from her daughter and she has a job now and wants to see her daughter. She would go put herself on child support. She does not want to take her away from us. She knows that her daughter thinks of me as her mother and even calls me mom. What should my fiance do? Should he let her see her just like that or does he need to hire an attorney? She has done this before only to see her a few times and disapear again. We really don't need the child support and I feel bad for her cause she has 3 other kids. But my fiance does not want his daughter confused and hurting cause her real mother decides she wants to see her every now and then. Please help. We are willing to hire an attorney but right now can not afford one. I just had a baby and got laid off at work. So we are trying to get use to having one source of income instead of 2. Thanks
PS I don't mind if my stepdaughter sees her mother, but I am the one who has to wipe the tears when she makes false promises to her. And frankly I am tired of it.

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas
ok so i am asking this question for my fiance. He has a 7 year old daughter who at this time lives with us in our home, we have her enrolled in school and she does not see her biological mother. It has been a little over a year. And before that she saw her maybe 3 times for during 2 months she decided to come to see her. She has basiclly been in and out of her life since she left her at 9 months old with her father. My question is how can my fiance obtain sole custody. they have never gone to court. She recently called saying she was tired of being away from her daughter and she has a job now and wants to see her daughter. She would go put herself on child support. She does not want to take her away from us. She knows that her daughter thinks of me as her mother and even calls me mom. What should my fiance do? Should he let her see her just like that or does he need to hire an attorney? She has done this before only to see her a few times and disapear again. We really don't need the child support and I feel bad for her cause she has 3 other kids. But my fiance does not want his daughter confused and hurting cause her real mother decides she wants to see her every now and then. Please help. We are willing to hire an attorney but right now can not afford one. I just had a baby and got laid off at work. So we are trying to get use to having one source of income instead of 2. Thanks
PS I don't mind if my stepdaughter sees her mother, but I am the one who has to wipe the tears when she makes false promises to her. And frankly I am tired of it.

that's too bad. because by law, unless mom is a danger to the child (proven danger) she can have visitation if she files for it. she can pay child support if she files for it. and it's MOM not biological mom in the court of law. and you aren't even stepmom by your own words.

has paternity been established yet? dad can file that with the court to get started. along with custody/visitation/support. if mom files, she will get some sort of shared parenting.

 

[Silverplum]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/newbies-please-read-before-posting-387214.html

Should've read this -- located at the top of the forum -- before posting.

Then have Dad sign up with his own ID and do his own talking.

 

[Ohiogal]

Not to mention your fiance may not even be legally daddy. So he would have to go to court. Mom can come pick up daughter tomorrow.

 

[Humusluvr]

She knows that her daughter thinks of me as her mother and even calls me mom. What should my fiance do?

He should explain to daughter that she has a mom, and it isn't you. You're not even a stepmom.

 

[Ray23]

Father seeks sole custody of daughter...

ok so to all the smartass rude people. I know I am not her mom, but I do a hell of a lot more for her than her mom. That is why she chooses to call me mom and her real mom by her first name. She knows I am not her real mom. As far as my fiance being her real father yes her is in fact. He has proof not to mention they look exactly alike. And she looks exactly like my 2 month old daughter as well. So her real mom called and said she could only see her daughter when her husband is not around cause he doesn't want her to have anything to do with her. So she has to sneek to see her daughter. What a woman right. Putting her husband before her own daughter. Anyhow thanks for all the advice. We are just going to hire an attorney. My fiance has a police report that states she abandoned her daughter when she was small.

 

[Isis1]

ok so to all the smartass rude people. I know I am not her mom, but I do a hell of a lot more for her than her mom. That is why she chooses to call me mom and her real mom by her first name. She knows I am not her real mom. As far as my fiance being her real father yes her is in fact. He has proof not to mention they look exactly alike. And she looks exactly like my 2 month old daughter as well. So her real mom called and said she could only see her daughter when her husband is not around cause he doesn't want her to have anything to do with her. So she has to sneek to see her daughter. What a woman right. Putting her husband before her own daughter. Anyhow thanks for all the advice. We are just going to hire an attorney. My fiance has a police report that states she abandoned her daughter when she was small.

abandoned? you mean in a car? with a stranger? or did she leave her daughter with her father? that's not abandoning her daughter. when mom does file for visitation, she will get it. and once she finds out you are encouraging her daughter to call you mom, she can get a court order to have it stopped.

what proof does he have? a court order? he has to be established in the court of law. looking like his daughter means nothing. making sure you realize you are not her legal mom, is not being rude. it's educating you. you don't like being told FACTS, then you must live in your own fantasy life. and judges that follow the law, don't live there.

 

[ErinGoBragh]

ok so to all the smartass rude people. I know I am not her mom, but I do a hell of a lot more for her than her mom. That is why she chooses to call me mom and her real mom by her first name. She knows I am not her real mom. As far as my fiance being her real father yes her is in fact. He has proof not to mention they look exactly alike. And she looks exactly like my 2 month old daughter as well. So her real mom called and said she could only see her daughter when her husband is not around cause he doesn't want her to have anything to do with her. So she has to sneek to see her daughter. What a woman right. Putting her husband before her own daughter. Anyhow thanks for all the advice. We are just going to hire an attorney. My fiance has a police report that states she abandoned her daughter when she was small.

YOU are acting like a child with the name-calling. YOU are legally nothing to his child. YOU are overstepping.

Go ahead and hire an attorney. Your hubby will get smacked down in court so fast it's not even funny once the judge hears that he's allowed his child to call you mom.

Mom has every right to visitation, and when she sues for it, she will win. She obviously wants to see her daughter, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Oh, and sneak is SNEAK. Not SNEEK.

 

[ErinGoBragh]

abandoned? you mean in a car? with a stranger? of did she leave her daughter with her father? that's not abandoning her daughter. when mom does file for visitation, she will get it. and once she finds out you are encouraging her daughter to call you mom, she can get a court order to have it stopped.

what proof does he have? a court order? he has to be established in the court of law. looking like his daughter means nothing. making sure you reaize you are not her legal mom, is not being rude. it's educating you. you don't like being told FACTS, then you must live in your ownn fantasy life. and judges that follow the law, don't live there.

Whoops. Somehow I didn't even see your response till I input mine. But yeah, what you said.

 

[Ray23]

OK, so I am going to give my side of the story now since everyone is bashing my fiance. She has been wonderful in taking responsibility of being a mother to my daughter. As far as my daughters real mom abandoning her well she left her with me, so yes in my eyes she abandoned her. She left for 3 years straight. I raised her alone from an infant. Then she came back stating she wanted to be a part of her life only to leave again with no explanation. I just want what is best for my daughter. It would hurt me when she would ask why her mom doesn't want her or why is she not around. She has 3 other kids from different dads that she takes care of. But she chose not to be around for my daughter. I have established paternity with the court. And my fiance and I never encouraged her to call her mom. My daughter told me she wanted a mom to do things with her and fix her hair and dress her up. My fiance took over this role from the moment they met. And never encouraged her to call her mom. She did that on her own. And she knows who her mom is and that she does not come around. But she never ask for her and does even care to see her. Anyhow, thanks for any advice you gave my fiance and I. We decided to hire a private attorney and also I decided to give her mom one more chance to see her. So far no arrangements have been made. Thank god my daughter has my fiance to comfort her and she is not so hurt this time at the fact that her mom has not shown up again!

 

[Ohiogal]

OK, so I am going to give my side of the story now since everyone is bashing my fiance.

So the two of you are so brilliant that you cannot read the rules and follow them by NOT sharing a username.

She has been wonderful in taking responsibility of being a mother to my daughter.

That is nice but she is NOT MOM and legally you allowing her to be called mom is showing that you are alienating your child from her actual mother.

As far as my daughters real mom abandoning her well she left her with me, so yes in my eyes she abandoned her.

Nope. Not abandonment. Sorry.

She left for 3 years straight. I raised her alone from an infant. Then she came back stating she wanted to be a part of her life only to leave again with no explanation. I just want what is best for my daughter. It would hurt me when she would ask why her mom doesn't want her or why is she not around. She has 3 other kids from different dads that she takes care of. But she chose not to be around for my daughter.

Maybe your and your darling bedmate's attitudes had something to do with that.

I have established paternity with the court.

Finally the answer.

And my fiance and I never encouraged her to call her mom.

You allowed it and didn't discourage it.

My daughter told me she wanted a mom to do things with her and fix her hair and dress her up. My fiance took over this role from the moment they met. And never encouraged her to call her mom. She did that on her own.

And you should have stopped it.

And she knows who her mom is and that she does not come around. But she never ask for her and does even care to see her. Anyhow, thanks for any advice you gave my fiance and I. We decided to hire a private attorney and also I decided to give her mom one more chance to see her. So far no arrangements have been made. Thank god my daughter has my fiance to comfort her and she is not so hurt this time at the fact that her mom has not shown up again!

Your fiance is NO ONE.

 

[Ray23]

Father seeks sole custody

ok. so I went to court and won custodial custody of my daughter. Her mother will only be able to see my daughter once or twice a month, per her request when her husband is not around. They are from Arizona or something. Anyhow, I agreed to that and also she begged not to put her on child support because her husband would find out and leave her. Then she could not take care of her other kids. So I went ahead and agreed. For my daughters sake I hope that I made the right choice. My fiance thinks I did and said that my daughter will realize how her mother is sooner or later and make her own choices. Thanks for all the advice I received. Even the smart ass remarks.

 

[Humusluvr]

ok. so I went to court and won custodial custody of my daughter. Her mother will only be able to see my daughter once or twice a month, per her request when her husband is not around. They are from Arizona or something. Anyhow, I agreed to that and also she begged not to put her on child support because her husband would find out and leave her. Then she could not take care of her other kids. So I went ahead and agreed. For my daughters sake I hope that I made the right choice. My fiance thinks I did and said that my daughter will realize how her mother is sooner or later and make her own choices. Thanks for all the advice I received. Even the smart ass remarks.

Your story is STILL full of holes. And things that are going to bite you in the long run.

I frankly don't believe any of it.

If you really went to court, you would KNOW where mom lives, in Arizona or something.

So, if my remarks made me a smart ass, do you know what kind of ass your story makes YOU?

 

[TheGeekess]

ok. so I went to court and won custodial custody of my daughter. Her mother will only be able to see my daughter once or twice a month, per her request when her husband is not around. They are from Arizona or something. Anyhow, I agreed to that and also she begged not to put her on child support because her husband would find out and leave her. Then she could not take care of her other kids. So I went ahead and agreed. For my daughters sake I hope that I made the right choice. My fiance thinks I did and said that my daughter will realize how her mother is sooner or later and make her own choices. Thanks for all the advice I received. Even the smart ass remarks.

The OG Effect in full force.

 

[>Charlotte<]

ok. so I went to court and won custodial custody of my daughter...she begged not to put her on child support...So I went ahead and agreed.

Wow. You got an appointment with an attorney, hired him, got a court date, served the mother, went to court, and your case was resolved. In less than four days? That's pretty remarkable. Oh, and the judge let you make the decision as to whether or not the mother has to pay child support? You must be living right, Ray23, because that's nothing short of a miracle.