Father threatening to take my child! Help!

[xlijah]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Hawaii

I'm a young teen mom whose been in a verbally abusive relationship for almost a year now.

Last night, I got into an argument with my boyfriend and he threatened to take my daughter from me.

I want to take action, but feel as if I might lose my daughter to him if I take him to court.

I'm only seventeen. My boyfriend is twenty-two. And my daughter is only one. I currently reside with my boyfriend. He has a job, and his license. While I have only my permit with no job. I've asked around and people always told me I'd lose the case without those things: a house, transportation and a job.

My boyfriend is also a alcoholic. He comes home at two in the morning drunk, almost 3-4 times a week. He's also verbally abusive. He yells at me, in a aggressive manner and threatens me. He threatens me saying he'll take my daughter from me. And has also threatened me saying he'll call the cops and tell them I'm trespassing on nights he wants me kicked out of his house.

I cant let my daughter witness these events anymore. But I just don't know what to do..

 

[LillianX]

You're in between a rock and a hard place here.

Leave. When he isn't home, move your things out to a safe home for you and your child. Your parents, a friend's, whatever. You can do this legally. Let him know where his child is.

Go to court and open a custody and child support case. This will lay out a court order stating who has the child when, and who pays what for it.

Get a job immediately. You have to support your child as well.

Ultimately, however, you have to consider the best interests of the child. It sounds to me, an outsider, that perhaps your child is better staying with her father, with you having visitation, at least for now. He has the means to support her, and can drive her to doctor's appointments. A court very well might see it similarly as well.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Hawaii

I'm a young teen mom whose been in a verbally abusive relationship for almost a year now.

Last night, I got into an argument with my boyfriend and he threatened to take my daughter from me.

I want to take action, but feel as if I might lose my daughter to him if I take him to court.

I'm only seventeen. My boyfriend is twenty-two. And my daughter is only one. I currently reside with my boyfriend. He has a job, and his license. While I have only my permit with no job. I've asked around and people always told me I'd lose the case without those things: a house, transportation and a job.

My boyfriend is also a alcoholic. He comes home at two in the morning drunk, almost 3-4 times a week. He's also verbally abusive. He yells at me, in a aggressive manner and threatens me. He threatens me saying he'll take my daughter from me. And has also threatened me saying he'll call the cops and tell them I'm trespassing on nights he wants me kicked out of his house.

I cant let my daughter witness these events anymore. But I just don't know what to do..

Has paternity been established in ANY way? Per the courts? AOP? Do you have local family that can assist you? How old were you when you concieved and how old EXACTLY was he?

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Hawaii

I'm a young teen mom whose been in a verbally abusive relationship for almost a year now.

Last night, I got into an argument with my boyfriend and he threatened to take my daughter from me.

I want to take action, but feel as if I might lose my daughter to him if I take him to court.

I'm only seventeen. My boyfriend is twenty-two. And my daughter is only one. I currently reside with my boyfriend. He has a job, and his license. While I have only my permit with no job. I've asked around and people always told me I'd lose the case without those things: a house, transportation and a job.

My boyfriend is also a alcoholic. He comes home at two in the morning drunk, almost 3-4 times a week. He's also verbally abusive. He yells at me, in a aggressive manner and threatens me. He threatens me saying he'll take my daughter from me. And has also threatened me saying he'll call the cops and tell them I'm trespassing on nights he wants me kicked out of his house.

I cant let my daughter witness these events anymore. But I just don't know what to do..

You do need those three things: you have a baby to house, clothe, feed, and care for. It's not to win a case, it's for taking care of her.

How do you plan to do that for her?

 

[RRevak]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Hawaii

I'm a young teen mom whose been in a verbally abusive relationship for almost a year now.

Last night, I got into an argument with my boyfriend and he threatened to take my daughter from me.

I want to take action, but feel as if I might lose my daughter to him if I take him to court.

I'm only seventeen. My boyfriend is twenty-two. And my daughter is only one. I currently reside with my boyfriend. He has a job, and his license. While I have only my permit with no job. I've asked around and people always told me I'd lose the case without those things: a house, transportation and a job.

My boyfriend is also a alcoholic. He comes home at two in the morning drunk, almost 3-4 times a week. He's also verbally abusive. He yells at me, in a aggressive manner and threatens me. He threatens me saying he'll take my daughter from me. And has also threatened me saying he'll call the cops and tell them I'm trespassing on nights he wants me kicked out of his house.

I cant let my daughter witness these events anymore. But I just don't know what to do..

First off does your boyfriend know he has committed a felony? I'm sure that wont be too helpful on his part should he take you to court...and you need a job now as child support is difficult to get when dad is in jail for statutory rape, jes sayin..

He has legally been declared dad? Are there custody orders in place? Did he sign Acknowledgement of Paternity when the baby was born?

 

[LillianX]

Has paternity been established in ANY way? Per the courts? AOP? Do you have local family that can assist you? How old were you when you concieved and how old EXACTLY was he?

I went down your train of thought and looked it up. Apparently, 5 years in this case means up to 5 years, 364 days.

Edit: Nevermind, I've found caselaw contradicting that. And caselaw supporting it. Hooray.

 

[xlijah]

Has paternity been established in ANY way? Per the courts? AOP? Do you have local family that can assist you? How old were you when you concieved and how old EXACTLY was he?

He signed the birth certificate.

Yes, I do have a family that would be able to assist me.

And when I was conceived I just turned 16 and he was already 21.

 

[AlmostThere]

You're in between a rock and a hard place here.

Leave. When he isn't home, move your things out to a safe home for you and your child. Your parents, a friend's, whatever. You can do this legally. Let him know where his child is.

She might also do well contacting a woman's shelter and asking for their help.

 

[Silverplum]

Ive made him very aware that I can turn him in for statutory rape.

Be aware of the consequences of stirring up that particular hornet nest.
The consequences TO YOUR DAUGHTER, I mean.

And I am trying very hard to get a job, but in Hawaii.. Economy is really slow.

No custody papers has taken place but he signed as father on the birth certificate.

Ok.

Another thing is, he does NOT pay child support and is claiming her under his taxes.

Honey, nobody pays child support for a child that currently lives under his/her roof. That's for after couples split.

 

[Ohiogal]

Ive made him very aware that I can turn him in for statutory rape. And I am trying very hard to get a job, but in Hawaii.. Economy is really slow.

No custody papers has taken place but he signed as father on the birth certificate.

Another thing is, he does NOT pay child support and is claiming her under his taxes.

GO HOME. File a police report regarding statutory rape. Why are you threatening him? Why did your parents let you live with him? Why did you think that was a smart idea?

Since he is supporting YOU and HER, he can claim her on his taxes if he has supported her for more than six months of this year. Which apparently he has because you are not.

 

[LillianX]

He doesn't have to pay child support. There isn't a court order for one, and why should he? You live with him. He's already supporting the child, AND you. He's completely entitled to claim her on his taxes. He supports her. She is his dependent.

You can leave. It is legal for you to do so. You can take your daughter with you. Have your family help you move out when he is not home, if you think there will be a problem. Just make sure he knows where his daughter is. If you don't file in court ASAP, expect him to.

 

[xlijah]

Be aware of the consequences of stirring up that particular hornet nest.
The consequences TO YOUR DAUGHTER, I mean.


Ok.


Honey, nobody pays child support for a child that currently lives under his/her roof. That's for after couples split.

What will happen to my daughter?

 

[RRevak]

What will happen to my daughter?

You keep your child and he potentially goes to jail. If he doesn't go to jail then you still get to keep your child until he takes you to court for visitation/custody in which you'll have to get used to him having time with her when you aren't around.

BTW and i'm betting what Silver meant was that your daughter wont have the time she deserves with him or financial support if he's in jail.

 

[Silverplum]

What will happen to my daughter?

What do you think?

What are the consequences for statutory rape in your state?

Will Dad be able to get a good job, or any job, to help support his daughter?

Will this be helpful for your daughter?


The Sex is over. Now what?

 

[xlijah]

GO HOME. File a police report regarding statutory rape. Why are you threatening him? Why did your parents let you live with him? Why did you think that was a smart idea?

Since he is supporting YOU and HER, he can claim her on his taxes if he has supported her for more than six months of this year. Which apparently he has because you are not.

Because we've been in an domestic relationship for almost a year now. He comes home at 2 in the morning drunk. Doesnt even come home some nights because he is out doing "stuff". And when I leave her alone with him he's sleeping and leaving her unattended. A few times I've witnessed her playing with outlet cords and being caught under heavy items. I do NOT trust him alone with her. During the 14 months shes been alive, hes bathed her less than ten times. And fed her less than twenty times. He supports her financially, but doesn't support her physcially.