Father trying to obtain sole custody of 12 year old daughter need help and advice

[ddehorta]

Florida.

Good morning, So I am looking for advice and help on obtaining full custody of my 12 year old daughter who does not want to live with her mother due to various reasons. There is alot of things going on in that house that dont make it an environment for her. She tells very disturbing things her mom tells her. example "If you grow up to hate me I will kill myself". She leaves her alone to take care of her younger siblings and bathe and cook for them. Mom's boyfriend yells and hits the other kids in front of her and he just opened a salon and she tells me thats where my child support money is going. So any advice on this sad situation on steps and just guidence I dont know how to start if I even have a case or a chance.

 

[Ohiogal]

Florida.

Good morning, So I am looking for advice and help on obtaining full custody of my 12 year old daughter who does not want to live with her mother due to various reasons. There is alot of things going on in that house that dont make it an environment for her. She tells very disturbing things her mom tells her. example "If you grow up to hate me I will kill myself". She leaves her alone to take care of her younger siblings and bathe and cook for them. Mom's boyfriend yells and hits the other kids in front of her and he just opened a salon and she tells me thats where my child support money is going. So any advice on this sad situation on steps and just guidence I dont know how to start if I even have a case or a chance.

A) Your 12 year old doesn't choose.
B) Have you discussed the comments with mom?
C) Mom's boyfriend can discipline the other children.
D) The child doesn't know where the child support is going. She has a roof over her head, food on the table, and clothes. She is being supported. Mom can spend child support on whatever she wants.
E) Babysitting is NOT a bad thing. Nor is having chores such as cooking.
F) Doesn't sound like you have a case.

 

[LdiJ]

Florida.

Good morning, So I am looking for advice and help on obtaining full custody of my 12 year old daughter who does not want to live with her mother due to various reasons. There is alot of things going on in that house that dont make it an environment for her. She tells very disturbing things her mom tells her. example "If you grow up to hate me I will kill myself". She leaves her alone to take care of her younger siblings and bathe and cook for them. Mom's boyfriend yells and hits the other kids in front of her and he just opened a salon and she tells me thats where my child support money is going. So any advice on this sad situation on steps and just guidence I dont know how to start if I even have a case or a chance.

I agree with the response that you received from Ohiogal. I was taking care of and cooking for my younger siblings at 11. I do not see that you have a case either. To be honest, it sounds more like adolescent drama and a grass is greener mentality.

 

[ddehorta]

A) Your 12 year old doesn't choose.
B) Have you discussed the comments with mom?
C) Mom's boyfriend can discipline the other children.
D) The child doesn't know where the child support is going. She has a roof over her head, food on the table, and clothes. She is being supported. Mom can spend child support on whatever she wants.
E) Babysitting is NOT a bad thing. Nor is having chores such as cooking.
F) Doesn't sound like you have a case.

Even if the Mom is manipulating them and abusing them mentally and her boyfriend leaving marks on the other kids and the fact that mom was baker acted a while back and calling her retarded. Also boyfriend stuck his hand down her shirt threatens to squeeze her nipples.

 

[Zigner]

Even if the Mom is manipulating them and abusing them mentally and her boyfriend leaving marks on the other kids and the fact that mom was baker acted a while back and calling her retarded. Also boyfriend stuck his hand down her shirt threatens to squeeze her nipples.

Goodness! What did the police do in response to your reporting of these abusive acts?

 

[LdiJ]

Even if the Mom is manipulating them and abusing them mentally and her boyfriend leaving marks on the other kids and the fact that mom was baker acted a while back and calling her retarded. Also boyfriend stuck his hand down her shirt threatens to squeeze her nipples.

You did not mention ANYTHING even remotely like that in your original post. If your 12 year old child told her that her mom's boyfriend did that to her, why didn't you IMMEDIATELY call the police?

 

[ddehorta]

You did not mention ANYTHING even remotely like that in your original post. If your 12 year old child told her that her mom's boyfriend did that to her, why didn't you IMMEDIATELY call the police?

I didnt find out any of this until we asked her recently how is the home life and she starts telling me all this that all they do is scream and smoke in the police have been called a couple times because of their fighting. Even when i went to go pick her from for the summer recently i had to get a cop escort because she wouldnt release her to me for no reason and i twas my scheduled day. The cop told me he's been there a couple times already and that just scares me. I know my daughter has no say but she's very adament about not going back there and wants to stay with us.

 

[Ohiogal]

Even if the Mom is manipulating them and abusing them mentally and her boyfriend leaving marks on the other kids and the fact that mom was baker acted a while back and calling her retarded. Also boyfriend stuck his hand down her shirt threatens to squeeze her nipples.

And yet you mentioned NONE of this in your first post. And yet you did nothing when mom was committed.
What evidence do you have of the "marks" on the other children? When did boyfriend allegedly do that? If you didn't mention it in the first post, quite frankly it was not that important.

 

[Ohiogal]

I didnt find out any of this until we asked her recently how is the home life and she starts telling me all this that all they do is scream and smoke in the police have been called a couple times because of their fighting. Even when i went to go pick her from for the summer recently i had to get a cop escort because she wouldnt release her to me for no reason and i twas my scheduled day. The cop told me he's been there a couple times already and that just scares me. I know my daughter has no say but she's very adament about not going back there and wants to stay with us.

Who is us?

Screaming is NOT illegal. Nor is smoking. And you just keep going with bringing in more so-called facts.

 

[ddehorta]

Who is us?

Screaming is NOT illegal. Nor is smoking. And you just keep going with bringing in more so-called facts.

Sorry was trying to remember everything she was telling us. Us meaning my wife and step kids. The marks she leaves on the other kids my daughter sees when she has to bathe them.

 

[Zigner]

Sorry was trying to remember everything she was telling us. Us meaning my wife and step kids. The marks she leaves on the other kids my daughter sees when she has to bathe them.

AGAIN, when you contact the police to report this abuse, what happened?

 

[ddehorta]

AGAIN, when you contact the police to report this abuse, what happened?

I haven't yet I was just told about this last night by my step daughter that spoke to her. Wasn't sure what the next step was in all this I didn't know it was that bad over there at her house.

 

[Ohiogal]

I haven't yet I was just told about this last night by my step daughter that spoke to her. Wasn't sure what the next step was in all this I didn't know it was that bad over there at her house.

So how old is your stepdaughter? Have you talked to your daughter? Have you talked to mom? Have you had any conversation at all or is your first step just to jump into a custody battle?
It doesn't sound like you have any evidence of anything you are claiming. And kids get bruises .. how do you plan to prove it is from "abuse" or being "spanked"?

 

[ddehorta]

So how old is your stepdaughter? Have you talked to your daughter? Have you talked to mom? Have you had any conversation at all or is your first step just to jump into a custody battle?
It doesn't sound like you have any evidence of anything you are claiming. And kids get bruises .. how do you plan to prove it is from "abuse" or being "spanked"?

Step daughters are 16 and 17 and yes I have talked to my daughter but I have not talked to the mom yet cause she's very irrational and can't even have a conversation with her. My first step is not a custody battle thats just the first thing that popped in my head cause i dont know what else to do in this situation. I know I dont have evidence just my daughters word and what she's seen I know thats not enough and the other kids are not mine but im still concerned for them.

 

[Ohiogal]

Step daughters are 16 and 17 and yes I have talked to my daughter but I have not talked to the mom yet cause she's very irrational and can't even have a conversation with her. My first step is not a custody battle thats just the first thing that popped in my head cause i dont know what else to do in this situation. I know I dont have evidence just my daughters word and what she's seen I know thats not enough and the other kids are not mine but im still concerned for them.

Yet you could sleep with mom and impregnate her and have a child with her and she has custody and yet you make all these accusations. And have done nothing. And have no evidence. If you can't talk to her, that is partially YOUR fault. When is the last time you were in court on the issue of custody? When was mom committed? When was the last time before now you saw your daughter? Talked to her on the phone? How far from mom do you live? How involved are with her schooling? Do you know who her teachers were last year? Have you talked to them? Who are your daughter's doctors? Answer those questions.