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11-07-2009, 01:52 AM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 13
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkey14  Isn't it crazy that with all of those similarities, the two of you will even be in court on the same day in the same city?! I'd say you should go buy a lotto ticket RIGHT NOW. It will solve ALL of your other problems.  | Not a coincidence at all. Although I could spend all day long pointing out the lies in the original post from CaMom, however you have formed your oppinion. I could also tell you where my laptop was on Saturday and Sunday and who was using it. Not that you would care and not that it is really any of your business. And if you can find cause to have my ISP checked. Go for it. Yes I do know how that works.
I really do feel sorry for people who have nothing better to do than troll forums trying to bash people who are seeking assistance in real legal matters.
I do have SSI. So what? I don't pay child support, I don't need to. I bought her clothes for school. I bought her tap shoes for dance. I also sent a backpack and school supplies. I buy her toys. So I don't send him money? I don't have to. I still provide for her needs.
Last edited by BooFly31; 11-07-2009 at 02:11 AM.
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11-07-2009, 02:18 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 58
| | | Boo, it's not just one person you need to convince here... But humor me, are you tring to say the one of your roommates spent literally hours unsuccessfully pleading your case on a legal forum the other day, and then you just happened to find your way to the very same legal forum a few days later? Hey, even if THAT were the case, a lotto ticket is SERIOUSLY in order. Can you explain the nature of your new questions? If you want, we can even pretend that this was all a mistake and if you clarify your questions, we can try to answer them. I'm being serious, just so you know. |
11-07-2009, 02:27 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Weigh a pie...
Posts: 6,589
| | Quote: |
I do have SSI. So what? I don't pay child support, I don't need to. I bought her clothes for school. I bought her tap shoes for dance. I also sent a backpack and school supplies. I buy her toys. So I don't send him money? I don't have to. I still provide for her needs.
| Are you serious?
Do you seriously think this constitutes supporting your child? Providing for her needs?
__________________ *****************************
When you can't bear something but it goes on anyway, the person who survives isn't you anymore; you've changed and become someone else, a new person, the one who did bear it after all.
— Austin Grossman
Quote: | Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo | |
11-07-2009, 03:02 AM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 13
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Dogmatique Are you serious?
Do you seriously think this constitutes supporting your child? Providing for her needs? | I cannot force him to comply with the current order. This is why we are going to court. He just got to the courthouse before I did. He says joint custody does not mean 50/50, I say it does. We have no specific order other than just joint custody because we were living together when it was issued therefore was not needed. I have always provided items rather than money for her. If I send him money it doesn't necessarily mean he'll spend it on my child. When I buy the things she needs for her I know what I send is going to her not him and his girlfriend.
The whole reason for this post was for advice on how to handle the situation. Whether these were things he could even realistically bring up. It was my understanding that unless he can prove now that I am unfit he will not stand a chance to get supervised visitation enforced. |
11-07-2009, 03:13 AM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 13
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by LocalRocket Boo, it's not just one person you need to convince here... But humor me, are you tring to say the one of your roommates spent literally hours unsuccessfully pleading your case on a legal forum the other day, and then you just happened to find your way to the very same legal forum a few days later? Hey, even if THAT were the case, a lotto ticket is SERIOUSLY in order. Can you explain the nature of your new questions? If you want, we can even pretend that this was all a mistake and if you clarify your questions, we can try to answer them. I'm being serious, just so you know. | I don't need to convince anybody anything. I know what is going on and it isn't even worth my time acknowledging the person. I can say it was not anybody who lives with me. I don't see how anybody could call the blatant stupidity in that post pleading MY case at all. I don't find it lucky at all, so no... I think I'll pass on a lotto ticket. I don't have that kind of money to waste.
My questions were simple. How realistic is it that he'll get what he's asking for based upon these specifics he has mentioned. I actually found several responses rather helpful until the troll police decided to accuse me of being someone I'm not. On the other hand, if they hadn't I probably wouldn't have seen just how shallow some people really are. |
11-07-2009, 03:31 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Weigh a pie...
Posts: 6,589
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Originally Posted by BooFly31 I cannot force him to comply with the current order. This is why we are going to court. He just got to the courthouse before I did. He says joint custody does not mean 50/50, I say it does. | You would be incorrect. Quote: |
We have no specific order other than just joint custody because we were living together when it was issued therefore was not needed. I have always provided items rather than money for her. If I send him money it doesn't necessarily mean he'll spend it on my child. When I buy the things she needs for her I know what I send is going to her not him and his girlfriend.
| The parent who is paying child support is NOT going to be able to control how the other parent spends the money - it would be wise to accept that fact sooner rather than later. Quote:
The whole reason for this post was for advice on how to handle the situation. Whether these were things he could even realistically bring up. It was my understanding that unless he can prove now that I am unfit he will not stand a chance to get supervised visitation enforced.
| You appear to be misunderstanding your situation.
__________________ *****************************
When you can't bear something but it goes on anyway, the person who survives isn't you anymore; you've changed and become someone else, a new person, the one who did bear it after all.
— Austin Grossman
Quote: | Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo | |
11-07-2009, 05:16 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 58
| | 
Dear me. Well if you're talking about me, I've personally never been called a troll, and I can assure you that had Pinkey not pointed out this uncanny twist of events  , I or someone else would have.
As to your questions:
1) It doesn't sound like you've been ordered to pay child support yet, but if you are, the parent PAYING support doesn't get to decide how the parent RECEIVING the support spends the money. Ever. The paying parent could possibly have the recipient questioned if the child was being noticeably neglected, but then the charge would be neglect, not misappropriation of child support.
2) It is possible that you haven't been fit for a long enough period of time to warrant unsupervised visitation. If you can prove fitness to parent, and that it has been maintained since January, coming up on a year might be in the gray fuzzy area. That is, if nearly everything that the mystery person who posted about your situation was a lie. If you can't transport your daughter and have no means of reliable transportation to or from visitation, if you don't have a spare dollar in case the 2 (or 3) of you get in a jam, etc., you may start out with supervised visitations. But if things are going as smoothly as you claim, why would supervised visits be a problem for you? Maybe you could use the first few to prove to a 3rd party how fit you are, and the need for visits to be supervised would be questioned by a higher authority. (?) Just a thought...
3) Joint custody doesn't mean 50/50 time. Once you get to court, you will see that there are two differents "joints": joint legal and joint physical. Even then, joint physical doesn't always mean you'll each be awarded the same number of days. As a side note, it would be really unlikely for you to get joint physical custody right now, because of this past year's track record. This doesn't mean that you couldn't eventually get it, but you would be more likely to start with a graduated plan that slowly increases in visitation.
By the way, as far as your parental fitness is concerned, you never answered the question about the nature of your involuntary psych hold. Knowing what happened and why will also be considered when they want to make sure you've been stable on your meds long enough.
By the way... you and CaMom are the only people I have ever seen consistently misspell the word "opinion" as "oppinion". It's crazy! |
11-07-2009, 05:27 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 58
| | | And the word "sheriff". You guys both misspell that one the same way, too. Ob boy... so fun. I could go on and on, but I give up. You and your doppelganger make a sweet team though, that's for sure! |
11-07-2009, 07:39 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Ohio
Posts: 31,738
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Originally Posted by BooFly31 I cannot force him to comply with the current order. This is why we are going to court. He just got to the courthouse before I did. He says joint custody does not mean 50/50, I say it does. We have no specific order other than just joint custody because we were living together when it was issued therefore was not needed. I have always provided items rather than money for her. If I send him money it doesn't necessarily mean he'll spend it on my child. When I buy the things she needs for her I know what I send is going to her not him and his girlfriend.
The whole reason for this post was for advice on how to handle the situation. Whether these were things he could even realistically bring up. It was my understanding that unless he can prove now that I am unfit he will not stand a chance to get supervised visitation enforced. | You are wrong. Joint custody does NOT mean 50/50. Never has. So you are completely wrong. You can have joint custody and have visitation only once a month or a few times a year. It does NOT mean 50/50 time. Providing items is NTO child support. Sorry but not. You are lying. You are ignorant. You are CaMom31.
__________________
Parents should remember three things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex (or soon to be ex) & when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death parts you & how you treat your children determines what type of nursing home you end up in.
Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship. The devil is in the details after all.
Licensed to practice law in Ohio and a Guardian Ad Litem for children
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11-07-2009, 06:43 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 13
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Originally Posted by Dogmatique The parent who is paying child support is NOT going to be able to control how the other parent spends the money - it would be wise to accept that fact sooner rather than later. | There is no child support order currently in effect. I was advised by a social worker July of 2008 not to send him money since it cannot be proven by me that the money was for child support. I was told as long as I contribute to her needs such as clothing, toys, educational supplies and other things the father tells me she may need and I keep the receipts I can prove in court I have been assisting dad in her care.
If a court order were established I would have no problem with cash. I am not going to just send him money though so he can spend it however he wishes and then turn around and I say I'm not doing anything. |
11-07-2009, 06:47 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Weigh a pie...
Posts: 6,589
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Originally Posted by BooFly31 There is no child support order currently in effect. I was advised by a social worker July of 2008 not to send him money since it cannot be proven by me that the money was for child support. I was told as long as I contribute to her needs such as clothing, toys, educational supplies and other things the father tells me she may need and I keep the receipts I can prove in court I have been assisting dad in her care.
If a court order were established I would have no problem with cash. I am not going to just send him money though so he can spend it however he wishes and then turn around and I say I'm not doing anything. | What makes you think Dad would spend it any differently whether it was court ordered or not? Your logic isn't making much sense here.
__________________ *****************************
When you can't bear something but it goes on anyway, the person who survives isn't you anymore; you've changed and become someone else, a new person, the one who did bear it after all.
— Austin Grossman
Quote: | Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo | |
11-07-2009, 06:54 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 13
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohiogal You are wrong. Joint custody does NOT mean 50/50. Never has. So you are completely wrong. You can have joint custody and have visitation only once a month or a few times a year. It does NOT mean 50/50 time. Providing items is NTO child support. Sorry but not. You are lying. You are ignorant. You are CaMom31. | Once again, the court order does not establish anything other than Joint Custody for me and Dad. At this time it is 50/50. I have just as much rights to her as he does according to that order. Providing items may not be child support, however there is no support order in effect at this time. Technically I do not have to do anything to help dad considering he is the one who has kept her from me. Yet I do. I have to protect myself here as well. I have receipts for everything I have bought for her with dates and what it was for.
Transportation has not been an issue. I have called him every weekend since January asking for her. The only issue we've had is I asked that he drive one way to make it easier on my roommate who was driving me at the time. His girlfriend threw a fit over that one and several nasty emails were sent back and forth.
As for me being ignorant. I suppose if I knew everything I wouldn't be here asking for advice. Lying? What would be the point? CaMom? Why don't you ask his fiance about that one considering I don't even refer to her as a fiance. Until they set a date for marriage and get married she will always just be his girlfriend as far as I'm concerned. |
11-07-2009, 07:01 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 13
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Dogmatique What makes you think Dad would spend it any differently whether it was court ordered or not? Your logic isn't making much sense here. | If you knew him it would make perfect sense. If I wrote a check he wouldn't cash it. If I give cash he'll just spend it and say I sent nothing. He doesn't want any documented proof of my contribution whatsoever. If he had that he wouldn't have a chance to win now would he? That is why I buy her the things she needs and save receipts. I am still helping where she is concerned and I have proof of that help that he cannot dispute. |
11-07-2009, 07:06 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Weigh a pie...
Posts: 6,589
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Originally Posted by BooFly31 If you knew him it would make perfect sense. If I wrote a check he wouldn't cash it. If I give cash he'll just spend it and say I sent nothing. He doesn't want any documented proof of my contribution whatsoever. If he had that he wouldn't have a chance to win now would he? That is why I buy her the things she needs and save receipts. I am still helping where she is concerned and I have proof of that help that he cannot dispute. | Here's the problem. More often than not anything given to the CP outside of court ordered support is considered a gift no matter how many receipts you have or for what.
__________________ *****************************
When you can't bear something but it goes on anyway, the person who survives isn't you anymore; you've changed and become someone else, a new person, the one who did bear it after all.
— Austin Grossman
Quote: | Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo | |
11-07-2009, 07:14 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 13
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Dogmatique Here's the problem. More often than not anything given to the CP outside of court ordered support is considered a gift no matter how many receipts you have or for what. | I understand that. I also have two checks that he sent back to me for $200.00 back in July 2008. In the letter he wrote when he sent it back he told me if I want to contribute to send cash or items. I saved the checks and the letter and then in September I went and bought her school clothes for pre-school. I photo copied the letter I sent with the clothes where I specified they were for school. I also sent a backpack, binder, pencils, crayons, colored pencils and brown paper for handwriting and letters that she would be learning. I also have the receipt from UPS along with the proof of receipt they sent when the package was signed for.
I have done the same with everything I send her including the school supplies for Kindergarten. I do not count birthday presents or christmas presents. I no longer even offer money since he is so insistent that I not send checks. He can explain to the judge why cash is so important to him.
Last edited by BooFly31; 11-07-2009 at 07:18 PM.
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