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Father wants 50/50 shared physical custody

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greyton

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Md

I'm a work at home father, 2 kids (7/4), and my wife is a doctor, but only works part-time. We are seperating, but can't agree on custody. I want 50/50 custody, with either a 7 day alternating sched. or some form of a shared custody (2 days, 2 days, then alternating weekends), point being - i'm flexible. She seems to not be flexible, wants me to only have visitation rights, and 'some' overnights. I was hoping we could resolve this, but looking like court unfortunately. I love my kids, and i'm at least equal part care giver (very hands on father), so i'm ready to fight if i have to. Lastly, i actually make more money then her, so it's like 70/30 income wise, if that matters.

Question:

In Maryland, what are the determing factors of equal shared custody? What is likely if i spend the money (ugh, lawyers) and take her to court to fight this??

Thanks!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Md

I'm a work at home father, 2 kids (7/4), and my wife is a doctor, but only works part-time. We are seperating, but can't agree on custody. I want 50/50 custody, with either a 7 day alternating sched. or some form of a shared custody (2 days, 2 days, then alternating weekends), point being - i'm flexible. She seems to not be flexible, wants me to only have visitation rights, and 'some' overnights. I was hoping we could resolve this, but looking like court unfortunately. I love my kids, and i'm at least equal part care giver (very hands on father), so i'm ready to fight if i have to. Lastly, i actually make more money then her, so it's like 70/30 income wise, if that matters.

Question:

In Maryland, what are the determing factors of equal shared custody? What is likely if i spend the money (ugh, lawyers) and take her to court to fight this??

Thanks!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Would a 50/50 timeshare be in the best interests of your children?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Md

I'm a work at home father, 2 kids (7/4), and my wife is a doctor, but only works part-time. We are seperating, but can't agree on custody. I want 50/50 custody, with either a 7 day alternating sched. or some form of a shared custody (2 days, 2 days, then alternating weekends), point being - i'm flexible. She seems to not be flexible, wants me to only have visitation rights, and 'some' overnights. I was hoping we could resolve this, but looking like court unfortunately. I love my kids, and i'm at least equal part care giver (very hands on father), so i'm ready to fight if i have to. Lastly, i actually make more money then her, so it's like 70/30 income wise, if that matters.

Question:

In Maryland, what are the determing factors of equal shared custody? What is likely if i spend the money (ugh, lawyers) and take her to court to fight this??

Thanks!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
I suggest a consult with a local attorney, to get an idea of the climate of your courts.

If a local attorney feels that 50/50 is a viable option (and it certainly sounds like you are equal caregivers) then I recommend that you push for the alternating weeks (with perhaps a dinner visit for the other parent midweek). Its easier on kids not to have to move back and forth several times a week.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Mom therefore has no greater right to custody. File for primary, "settle" for shared physical.
That could make things more hostile from the get go. Sometimes its better to simply file for joint custody and win that battle.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
In the world of negotiating, they often tell you to ask for more than you are willing to settle for. If he asks for 50/50, ex may want him to "settle" at a standard parenting plan.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
In the world of negotiating, they often tell you to ask for more than you are willing to settle for. If he asks for 50/50, ex may want him to "settle" at a standard parenting plan.
She may want him to settle for that, but it sure sounds to heck to me that they have been equal caregivers. Therefore, mom is unlikely to get what she might want him to settle for.
 

MichaCA

Senior Member
I agree about the hostility part. I think its downright rude for a parent to request sole or primary when they know darn well the other parent has also been an active, equal parent. Its like spitting in their face. I can't stand how attorneys tactics often treat children as pawns to be bargained over. We do that at yards sales, not with kids.

And just for your info, OP...many attorneys...if you let them, will get very sleazy and use manipulative and make crude accusations against the ex to help out their case. I do not believe in it myself, and its true - if you WANT a amicable relationship with your ex, I strongly suggest you don't "buy into" those tactics. Literally.
 

ecmst12

Senior Member
Also - how close will you be living to mom? 50-50 is very difficult to make work unless you are living in the same town/school district.
 

cyjeff

Senior Member
Also - how close will you be living to mom? 50-50 is very difficult to make work unless you are living in the same town/school district.
I was about to say the same thing.

If you want to alternate weeks, you better be willing to live within a couple of miles of each other.
 

greyton

Junior Member
Follow-up II

Thank you to everyone, you have been really helpful. Ok, a few answers. I'm buying a house about 13 minutes away. We both originally went to attorneys, then realized all they were going to do was pit us against each other. We were going to try and do mediation, but then this custody issue cropped up. I WILL fight for 50/50 custody, though i've considered full custody (if she is going to make me pay atty's fees, i'm going to go for broke). I don't want this to get ugly, so i probably won't go for full custody.

Thanks!
 

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