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Father wants to change court ordered mediation agreement?

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MomInPSL

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Florida

Two years ago I went to mediation regarding child custody and visitation etc.

The agreement was the father could spend time with the children ( 2 ) every other weekend ( 2 weekends in the month). We agreed that he will pick up the children on Friday by 5pm and have them back by 5 on Sunday of that weekend. We live 2 1/2 hours apart and he agreed that he will do all the driving because I can not drive in highways ( I get nervous). But he agreed to this and it also stated that he can be assisted by his sister.

We also agreed that in the summer he can have the kids for 3 weeks IF he was in vacation during that time and therefore will take care of the kids.

NOW he is tired of driving and says he wanrts more quality time with his children so he keeps threating me that he is going to court to change things unless I voluntarily agree.


He wants to change it where I drive the kids both ways one month, and he does the other month. However I can not drive on the highways, I get nervous, its a 2 1/2 hours drive one way and I also have two other children from my current marriage.

He also wants to now keep the children for the two summer months regardless of his job schedule and because this will affect him financially he wants to not pay child support during those two months.


So my question is.. Can previous agreements be changed just like that ? He says the circumstances has changed and therefore wants it changed.

I once talked to a lawyer and basically he said that changes are not easily made. Judges and courts do not like to waste time with type of cases? That there has to be a major reason for the change...... but how major ?

What can happen if he does files for another mediation?


Any comments will be appreciated.What is the name of your state?
 


MomInPSL

Junior Member
When mediation was done, he was already living 2.5 hours away.

We had been separated for over 7 years when finally we legally divorced. So when all court stuff began he was already living 2.5 hours away.

So yes, when he agreed to the driving, he obviously knew he had to drive 2.5 hours each way.


thanks for responding.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
We also agreed that in the summer he can have the kids for 3 weeks IF he was in vacation during that time and therefore will take care of the kids.

NOW he is tired of driving and says he wanrts more quality time with his children so he keeps threating me that he is going to court to change things unless I voluntarily agree.
A. WHY does dad have to be OFF work the entire time he gets the kids? Are YOU off work every day that YOU get the kids? Do you not send the kids to camp or summer school or whatever on any summer days in which YOU have possession? That's a ridiculous demand.


And WHY only three weeks? Most NCPs get way more than that in summer.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
When mediation was done, he was already living 2.5 hours away.

We had been separated for over 7 years when finally we legally divorced. So when all court stuff began he was already living 2.5 hours away.

So yes, when he agreed to the driving, he obviously knew he had to drive 2.5 hours each way.


thanks for responding.
And WHO was it who created the distance?:

I sure wouldn't want my kids driving both ways with someone who was exhausted from carrying ALL the transportation burden. Gee, ten hours driving by dad every time he has the kids and you do NONE????? Get over it and take some responsibility for sharing transportation.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
who moved 2.5 hours away? You or dad?
I agree that's a factor, but dad did agree to the current arrangements and despite the fact that dad says there is a "change in circumstance"...I certainly can't see one. Dad being tired of the drive is NOT a change in circumstance.

Dad can get more summer time however without a change in circumstance.

Also...just to make a point...before everyone starts getting on this mom's butt...My mother is one of those people who simply cannot safely drive on the highway because of nerves. She has always been that way. I would NOT feel safe having her drive with kids on the highway.

My aunt is the same way. She lives in downtown Chicago and the rest of the extended family lives in the very far western suburbs. My aunt could get there in 30 minutes if she took the highway....instead, she drives almost 2 hours to get there using regular streets.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
Well, my mom did that too. But she DID DO it, and she did get there, using non-interstate routes. She didn't throw up her hands and simply NOT go.

Oh, and these were women who grew up in the 30s, 40s and early fiftys, when women did not start driving when the guys did. Most of these women didn't learn to drive until well into adulthood.

However, By the time you, LdiJ and I came of age way back in the 70s, women and men were already pretty equal as to driving. And here we're decades past that period. Todays women are equal in driving to the guys.
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
Well, my mom did that too. But she DID DO it, and she did get there, using non-interstate routes. She didn't throw up her hands and simply NOT go.
My mom sometimes throws up her hands and doesn't go...LOL....not always, but sometimes.

Yes...but we still do not know who created the distance...or the circumstances of the distance, so it really may be fair that dad provide the transportation.
 

MomInPSL

Junior Member
A. WHY does dad have to be OFF work the entire time he gets the kids? Are YOU off work every day that YOU get the kids? Do you not send the kids to camp or summer school or whatever on any summer days in which YOU have possession? That's a ridiculous demand.


And WHY only three weeks? Most NCPs get way more than that in summer.
The reason we agreed on this is because

#1. he was (is) a very irresponsible person. He actually cared less then so it was ok for him. And only this year did he actually take the kids for just one week. Last year he did no even do it. He now has a girlfriend with children and I guess he now wants to a father.

#2 no one available to take care of the children while he was working.


I am a stay home mother, I take care of my kids year around, do not need a summer camp and yes Iam always there with my kids.
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
How old are the children? And if his sister can help with the transportation, why can't your husband or another relative on your side of the family?
 

MomInPSL

Junior Member
How old are the children? And if his sister can help with the transportation, why can't your husband or another relative on your side of the family?
children are 9 and 8 PLUS I have another 3 and 5 year old from current marriage. The sister can help based on the court papers but she is not interested in participating.

My husband is also listed to assist me but works on Friday. My husband has offered to do 50/50 every time but can only do it first thing Saturday, not Friday. But its still not good enough for him.

I have no other relative close to me.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
How old are the children? And if his sister can help with the transportation, why can't your husband or another relative on your side of the family?
Again....we still don't know who created the distance and/or the circumstances of the distance. Again, it may be fair that dad provide the transportation.
 

MomInPSL

Junior Member
Again....we still don't know who created the distance and/or the circumstances of the distance. Again, it may be fair that dad provide the transportation.
Do not understand what you ask by who created the distance?

When I filled the court papers, we were already living 2.5 hours apart....
 

las365

Senior Member
Do not understand what you ask by who created the distance?
When I filled the court papers, we were already living 2.5 hours apart....
Where did you and ex live when you lived together?
Where do you live now and when did you move there?
Where does ex live now and when did he move there?
 

MomInPSL

Junior Member
Where did you and ex live when you lived together?
Where do you live now and when did you move there?
Where does ex live now and when did he move there?


Where did you and ex live when you lived together? 8 years ago we lived in New York. When we separated I moved to Puerto Rico. Couple of years later I moved to Florida.

Where do you live now and when did you move there? Now live in Florida for about 4 years.

Where does ex live now and when did he move there? He lives in Florida (2.5 hours from me). He has been here for about 3 years.
 

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