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  1. #1
    nsnyder0415 is offline Junior Member
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    Filing for sole custody in Maryland

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maryland
    I just started a custody case with the father of my son. I am going for sole custody. He said he was fine with that until the papers arrived and his parents got involved. Now I will be paying an attorney a lot of money to fight this. I am wondering if anyone has any experience with this type of situation and can offer any input. My son's father has a history of drug and alcohol abuse. He only has 1 or 2 arrests for that, though. He does have some other arrests, 2 for 2nd degree assault (1 of those was against me). He was in jail for a month and a half before thebaby was born for one assault case and again when the baby was 3 months old for the other. He just finally did get a job and as far as I know has not had a drink in about 2 months. I am not trying to take the baby away and I have told him that.Nothing would change what we are doing now. His mother picks up the baby from daycare 2-3 days a week and they spend time with him. His visitation would not change, I would just like it to be supervised at his mother's until I can trust that he is better and he has changed. I want the custody so I can say "no" if my son's father ever tries to take him somewhere and I feel he is under the influence. He says his past will not matter, but that is the basis for my case....the pattern of unresponsible behavior. I am looking out for the safety of my son. He lives with me, I pay his daycare and health insurance. I bathe him, get him dressed, feed him on a day to day basis. I have a stable career as an RN and own my own home. What does the outcome look like???What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
  2. #2
    nsnyder0415 is offline Junior Member
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    I am more concerned about any unannounced visits. If it is planned and I have notice, that is fine. And of course I chose to have my child with him....what was I supposed to do, have an abortion at 6 months when I found all this out about him? And I was 8 months pregnant when the assault charge happened. Believe me, now I will be checking up on anyone I am dating, I learned my lesson!
  3. #3
    janemc is offline Member
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    When Not in Jail, how often is ex seeing son?
  4. #4
    TinkerBelleLuvr is offline Senior Member
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    I want the custody so I can say "no" if my son's father ever tries to take him somewhere and I feel he is under the influence.
    Actually, if a parent is picking up a child and they are high or drunk, you CAN deny parenting time. With that said, if it becomes an issue, the OP should see about getting supervised visits.
  5. #5
    ProSeDadinMD is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by TinkerBelleLuvr View Post
    Actually, if a parent is picking up a child and they are high or drunk, you CAN deny parenting time. With that said, if it becomes an issue, the OP should see about getting supervised visits.
    The bolded is not true. Not without incontrovertible evidence of the intoxication.

    If you really believe that Dad has been drinking, have a police officer there to make that determination via breathalyzer. I doubt very seriously that they would do a "roadside drug test"(The technology for simple drug tests was not available until recently, and such tests are not legal in Maryland).
  6. #6
    nsnyder0415 is offline Junior Member
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    He lives with his parents and like I said, his mom picks up the baby from daycare between 1-3 times a week and takes him back to her house. Now that he has a job he only sees him on those days from about 5-8ish when I pick up. I work 3 12 hour days a week, so it is helping me, also, that they can pick him up b/c it is illegal in MD for a licensed daycare to have a child for as long as I need care. When I had him served with the papers it was stipulated that I wanted supervised visitation, which only means what is happening now.....he sees his son at his parent's house where I know someone is home. They also get him all weekend about every 6th weekend b/c I work evrery 3rd. My dad has him the other times. And no overnights....My son and I both have separation anxiety! It's fine the way it is now, I am the primary caregiver, the custodial parent. I just want that in writing. He won't sign the papers so now I am just weighing if I really want to pay $3-5,000.00 to fight this. That is money I could be spending on my son!
  7. #7
    ProSeDadinMD is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by nsnyder0415 View Post
    ... When I had him served with the papers it was stipulated that I wanted supervised visitation, which only means what is happening now.....he sees his son at his parent's house where I know someone is home. ...
    You having him "served with papers" doesn't make supervised visitation happen unless/until the court actually approves/orders it.

    And if Grandma is driving, it really doesn't matter if he's been drinking and is a passenger in a vehicle. The police won't care as long as he's not driving.
  8. #8
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by nsnyder0415 View Post
    He lives with his parents and like I said, his mom picks up the baby from daycare between 1-3 times a week and takes him back to her house. Now that he has a job he only sees him on those days from about 5-8ish when I pick up. I work 3 12 hour days a week, so it is helping me, also, that they can pick him up b/c it is illegal in MD for a licensed daycare to have a child for as long as I need care. When I had him served with the papers it was stipulated that I wanted supervised visitation, which only means what is happening now.....he sees his son at his parent's house where I know someone is home. They also get him all weekend about every 6th weekend b/c I work evrery 3rd. My dad has him the other times. And no overnights....My son and I both have separation anxiety! It's fine the way it is now, I am the primary caregiver, the custodial parent. I just want that in writing. He won't sign the papers so now I am just weighing if I really want to pay $3-5,000.00 to fight this. That is money I could be spending on my son!
    Did you specifically state in the paperwork that you wanted his parents to be the supervisors? Do his parents understand exactly what it is that you want?
  9. #9
    nsnyder0415 is offline Junior Member
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    No, I know serving him doesn't do anything. I said he didn't sign them, so that is why I have to maybe take it to court. I was just making the point that I am requesting that and he is aware. And his mom won't be picking up forever.....he will get a car eventually. This is a long process and if I wait for that to happen it will just take even longer. He said just to hold off and go ahead with it the next time he screws up!! This takes months and I want something in place so when he does screw up I have some kind of rights to protect my child. His parents have known for months that I was going to sue for custody. I told his mother I was only going to bring the baby to her house to see him. She knows my reasons and said she understands that it is a safety issue. I don't have the papers in front of me, but I am pretty sure they say the same thing....his parent's house. But he is not signing them so it doesn't matter. After thinking about it and doing some research I think I will see if he will just go to mediation with me before lawyers get involved. Then maybe someone else can get the definiton of "primary custody" through his head!
  10. #10
    FinnSW is offline Member
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    I want to say that I am not an attorney. but I did win sole custody in my state. But also what really helps is a clear court order with established rules that are iron clad and to follow it. In your case I would strongly advise having good legal counsel.

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