Frustration of child visitation rights

[JWBAD]

Why you would offer advice to a member in Ohio, when you don't even know the custody law for your own state, is curious.

I was wrong. I apologize. I have surely been put in my place. It will not happen again.

The last thing I would ever want is for a Dad (or a mom) to be hurt as a result of my advice. Again I will never give advice again here. You are the experts, which is why I came here in the first place. You don't have to tell me again how wrong I was.

 

[LdiJ]

The guy apologized and promised not to do it again. Aren't we kind of beating a dead horse here?

 

[SCBurton]

If they would allow mother to eat lunch with him, they cannot deny you that contact without a restraining order denying you. That is statute -- 3109.051 (H)(I)(J) -- tell the principal they have no right to deny you if they would allow mother.

THANK YOU that is exactly the information I needed to make my case to the principle; ultimately whoever made the decision for him. I have spent my ever free moment today reading over the state statues (dry and tedious but).. If you could humor me further with your great advice and confirm or clarify if this passage specifically makes my case

"when a court issues an order or decree allocating parental rights and responsibilities for the care of a child, the parent of the child who is not the residential parent of the child is entitled to access, under the same terms and conditions under which access is provided to the residential parent, to any student activity that is related to the child and to which the residential parent of the child legally is provided access, unless the court determines that it would not be in the best interest of the child to grant the parent who is not the residential parent access to the student activities under those same terms and conditions."

I believe that passage makes the point my presence is possible by the possibility of hers. And that regardless of what else it is (a visitation) it is ultimately ACCESS and I should ne allowed because my court order does not disallow it.

 

[stealth2]

I was wrong. I apologize. I have surely been put in my place. It will not happen again.

The last thing I would ever want is for a Dad (or a mom) to be hurt as a result of my advice. Again I will never give advice again here. You are the experts, which is why I came here in the first place. You don't have to tell me again how wrong I was.

I think it is now less of a matter of telling you that your advice was poor/wrong, and more whether you understand why.

 

[stealth2]

OP - your son is in 2nd or 3rd grade, correct? One objection *I* would have wrt either parent joining the child for lunch on a consistent basis is the amount of teasing he will be in for sooner rather than later. Occasionally as a special treat is cool - on a regular basis is less so. You're setting the kid up.

And, please. Principle is not the same word as principal. The principal may be requesting you to scale back lunch visits as a matter of principle. Pet peeve of mine.

 

[cheesecake46580]

here is the exact reference Ohio gal told u about. I would print the whole thing and highlight this part here is the link
http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/3109.051


(H)

(1) Subject to section 3125.16 and division (F) of section 3319.321 of the Revised Code, a parent of a child who is not the residential parent of the child is entitled to access, under the same terms and conditions under which access is provided to the residential parent, to any record that is related to the child and to which the residential parent of the child legally is provided access, unless the court determines that it would not be in the best interest of the child for the parent who is not the residential parent to have access to the records under those same terms and conditions. If the court determines that the parent of a child who is not the residential parent should not have access to records related to the child under the same terms and conditions as provided for the residential parent, the court shall specify the terms and conditions under which the parent who is not the residential parent is to have access to those records, shall enter its written findings of facts and opinion in the journal, and shall issue an order containing the terms and conditions to both the residential parent and the parent of the child who is not the residential parent. The court shall include in every order issued pursuant to this division notice that any keeper of a record who knowingly fails to comply with the order or division (H) of this section is in contempt of court.

(2) Subject to section 3125.16 and division (F) of section 3319.321 of the Revised Code, subsequent to the issuance of an order under division (H)(1) of this section, the keeper of any record that is related to a particular child and to which the residential parent legally is provided access shall permit the parent of the child who is not the residential parent to have access to the record under the same terms and conditions under which access is provided to the residential parent, unless the residential parent has presented the keeper of the record with a copy of an order issued under division (H)(1) of this section that limits the terms and conditions under which the parent who is not the residential parent is to have access to records pertaining to the child and the order pertains to the record in question. If the residential parent presents the keeper of the record with a copy of that type of order, the keeper of the record shall permit the parent who is not the residential parent to have access to the record only in accordance with the most recent order that has been issued pursuant to division (H)(1) of this section and presented to the keeper by the residential parent or the parent who is not the residential parent. Any keeper of any record who knowingly fails to comply with division (H) of this section or with any order issued pursuant to division (H)(1) of this section is in contempt of court.

(3) The prosecuting attorney of any county may file a complaint with the court of common pleas of that county requesting the court to issue a protective order preventing the disclosure pursuant to division (H)(1) or (2) of this section of any confidential law enforcement investigatory record. The court shall schedule a hearing on the motion and give notice of the date, time, and location of the hearing to all parties.

(I) A court that issues a parenting time order or decree pursuant to this section or section 3109.12 of the Revised Code shall determine whether the parent granted the right of parenting time is to be permitted access, in accordance with section 5104.039 of the Revised Code, to any child day-care center that is, or that in the future may be, attended by the children with whom the right of parenting time is granted. Unless the court determines that the parent who is not the residential parent should not have access to the center to the same extent that the residential parent is granted access to the center, the parent who is not the residential parent and who is granted parenting time rights is entitled to access to the center to the same extent that the residential parent is granted access to the center. If the court determines that the parent who is not the residential parent should not have access to the center to the same extent that the residential parent is granted such access under section 5104.039 of the Revised Code, the court shall specify the terms and conditions under which the parent who is not the residential parent is to have access to the center, provided that the access shall not be greater than the access that is provided to the residential parent under section 5104.039 of the Revised Code, the court shall enter its written findings of fact and opinions in the journal, and the court shall include the terms and conditions of access in the parenting time order or decree.

(J)

(1) Subject to division (F) of section 3319.321 of the Revised Code, when a court issues an order or decree allocating parental rights and responsibilities for the care of a child, the parent of the child who is not the residential parent of the child is entitled to access, under the same terms and conditions under which access is provided to the residential parent, to any student activity that is related to the child and to which the residential parent of the child legally is provided access, unless the court determines that it would not be in the best interest of the child to grant the parent who is not the residential parent access to the student activities under those same terms and conditions. If the court determines that the parent of the child who is not the residential parent should not have access to any student activity that is related to the child under the same terms and conditions as provided for the residential parent, the court shall specify the terms and conditions under which the parent who is not the residential parent is to have access to those student activities, shall enter its written findings of facts and opinion in the journal, and shall issue an order containing the terms and conditions to both the residential parent and the parent of the child who is not the residential parent. The court shall include in every order issued pursuant to this division notice that any school official or employee who knowingly fails to comply with the order or division (J) of this section is in contempt of court.

 

[JWBAD]

If you are asking if I understand why I shouldnt give advice on a legal forum, then yes I do believe I understand. First of all I am not knowledgeable, qualified, experienced, and I could hurt someone. I deserved everything I got and probably more.

I have no excuse. It has been bugging me all day. Sorry OP for hijacking your thread and giving you bad advice.

 

[cheesecake46580]

If you are asking if I understand why I shouldnt give advice on a legal forum, then yes I do believe I understand. First of all I am not knowledgeable, qualified, experienced, and I could hurt someone. I deserved everything I got and probably more.

I have no excuse. It has been bugging me all day. Sorry OP for hijacking your thread and giving you bad advice.

it happens over done with gone I know it makes me so mad when parents do this to the other parent it only hurts the kids.

 

[SCBurton]

OP - your son is in 2nd or 3rd grade, correct? One objection *I* would have wrt either parent joining the child for lunch on a consistent basis is the amount of teasing he will be in for sooner rather than later. Occasionally as a special treat is cool - on a regular basis is less so. You're setting the kid up.

And, please. Principle is not the same word as principal. The principal may be requesting you to scale back lunch visits as a matter of principle. Pet peeve of mine.

Thank you for your concern Stealth. It too concerns me. Up to this point I have been engaging everyone at the table and making it a more social lunch for everyone. My hopes is my 1st grader will not be victim to any teasing unless Mom starts showing up (we learn young who the bosses). I mean. I expect next for her to come and have lunch at the same time. And at that point I would rather sit and eat lunch in the office and not bring both of us into that lunch to embarrass him


But you all for the answers and the amusement. I thought terrible advise was meant as a joke offering. Hehe

 

[Ohiogal]

THANK YOU that is exactly the information I needed to make my case to the principle; ultimately whoever made the decision for him. I have spent my ever free moment today reading over the state statues (dry and tedious but).. If you could humor me further with your great advice and confirm or clarify if this passage specifically makes my case

"when a court issues an order or decree allocating parental rights and responsibilities for the care of a child, the parent of the child who is not the residential parent of the child is entitled to access, under the same terms and conditions under which access is provided to the residential parent, to any student activity that is related to the child and to which the residential parent of the child legally is provided access, unless the court determines that it would not be in the best interest of the child to grant the parent who is not the residential parent access to the student activities under those same terms and conditions."

I believe that passage makes the point my presence is possible by the possibility of hers. And that regardless of what else it is (a visitation) it is ultimately ACCESS and I should ne allowed because my court order does not disallow it.

Yes. Eating lunch with your child is ACCESS. And if they allow mom that access -- or would allow mom that access -- they MUSt allow you the same.

 

[stealth2]

If you are asking if I understand why I shouldnt give advice on a legal forum, then yes I do believe I understand. First of all I am not knowledgeable, qualified, experienced, and I could hurt someone. I deserved everything I got and probably more.

I have no excuse. It has been bugging me all day. Sorry OP for hijacking your thread and giving you bad advice.

No - I am asking if you understand why the advice you gave was wrong/poor/dangerous to OP's case. Making mistakes is ok. Making mistakes and then deciding to take your toys and go home is.... juvenile.

 

[CJane]

Thank you for your concern Stealth. It too concerns me. Up to this point I have been engaging everyone at the table and making it a more social lunch for everyone. My hopes is my 1st grader will not be victim to any teasing unless Mom starts showing up (we learn young who the bosses). I mean. I expect next for her to come and have lunch at the same time. And at that point I would rather sit and eat lunch in the office and not bring both of us into that lunch to embarrass him


But you all for the answers and the amusement. I thought terrible advise was meant as a joke offering. Hehe

Nope, nope. As a parent of one of those other kids? I'd be asking the principal to do what he could to eliminate the every day lunches. That's time for the KIDS to unwind/have some time that they're not beholden to adults for just a little bit (less than 30 minutes in our schools). A parent there every day "engaging the kids" and "making it "a more social lunch" is a little creepy. IMO.

 

[Ohiogal]

Nope, nope. As a parent of one of those other kids? I'd be asking the principal to do what he could to eliminate the every day lunches. That's time for the KIDS to unwind/have some time that they're not beholden to adults for just a little bit (less than 30 minutes in our schools). A parent there every day "engaging the kids" and "making it "a more social lunch" is a little creepy. IMO.

I do agree with this. I wasn't aware that this was an EVERY DAY activity. Once or twice a month wouldn't be a problem but every day? Ummm, I agree with Cjane.

 

[stealth2]

Nope, nope. As a parent of one of those other kids? I'd be asking the principal to do what he could to eliminate the every day lunches. That's time for the KIDS to unwind/have some time that they're not beholden to adults for just a little bit (less than 30 minutes in our schools). A parent there every day "engaging the kids" and "making it "a more social lunch" is a little creepy. IMO.

I agree as well. (Jane said it better than I was trying to.) Lunch is ALREADY social - for and between the kids. Once a week? Pushing it, IMO, but okay. If it were me, I'd keep it to every other week or once a month at most. It's "cool" when it's "Oh hey! Your Dad's here!" vs "oh, pussy - Daddy's here. Again." And it WILL become the latter quickly. Even more when you push it where Mom does the same.

 

[SCBurton]

I agree as well. (Jane said it better than I was trying to.) Lunch is ALREADY social - for and between the kids. Once a week? Pushing it, IMO, but okay. If it were me, I'd keep it to every other week or once a month at most. It's "cool" when it's "Oh hey! Your Dad's here!" vs "oh, pussy - Daddy's here. Again." And it WILL become the latter quickly. Even more when you push it where Mom does the same.

Not sure where every day came from.. I am visiting 2 or 3 times a week talking to my son and his friends or helping out in the lunch room opening stuff for kids whatever parents do when their kids eat. I have been checking with the teacher to ensure I am not a disruption to him or his class.