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Full Custody parent to move out of state

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hthrwey

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maryland

I have full custody of my 11 year old son. I am planning to move to Georgia in the next few months. My fiance is living down there taking care of his mother, and is about to have knee surgery himself. My son's father, who has only been in his life for the past 4 years, plans to fight me on this. I already have a residence, and am currently seeking new employment.
It was my understanding that as long as I can agree to extended visits, that in most cases that court won't stop me from moving where I choose within the states.
Any help would be greatly appreciated! :)
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maryland

I have full custody of my 11 year old son. I am planning to move to Georgia in the next few months. My fiance is living down there taking care of his mother, and is about to have knee surgery himself. My son's father, who has only been in his life for the past 4 years, plans to fight me on this. I already have a residence, and am currently seeking new employment.
It was my understanding that as long as I can agree to extended visits, that in most cases that court won't stop me from moving where I choose within the states.
Any help would be greatly appreciated! :)
You should consult a local attorney to find out what the climate of your local courts are. In general however its not wise to count on getting to relocate a child away from the other parent.
 

MichaCA

Senior Member
You want to make sure you give dad written notification of your plans...BEFORE moving,leaving him the legal time to formally object to your move if he chooses. Then there will be a hearing and it will get discussed.

What are your plans for ensuring the child see's his dad the same amount of time long-distance? What kind of long distance schedule are you proposing? Are you willing to carry the bulk, if not all, of the cost of getting child to dad for visitations, holidays?

A tip...don't go into court saying dad has only been involved the past 4 years. Dad has been involved the past 4 years...and that is a precedent.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maryland

I have full custody of my 11 year old son. I am planning to move to Georgia in the next few months. My fiance is living down there taking care of his mother, and is about to have knee surgery himself. My son's father, who has only been in his life for the past 4 years, plans to fight me on this. I already have a residence, and am currently seeking new employment.
It was my understanding that as long as I can agree to extended visits, that in most cases that court won't stop me from moving where I choose within the states.
Any help would be greatly appreciated! :)
What has Dad's involvement been for the past 4 years? How often does he see the child?

And why is it in the child's best interests for you to move away from his father? How does it benefit the child for you to move closer to your current bedwarmer - and move to a place where you don't currently have a job?
 

hthrwey

Junior Member
I do intend to give formal written notice. I am also seeking employment before giving this notice, even though my fiancée does well enough with his employment, that my having a job immediately is not necessary. The cost of living would be extremely beneficial to myself, in turn to my son as well, with my fiancée down there, I can't support myself and my son here alone. Maryland is an expensive state to live, leaving me to reside with family members rather than having a normal family life. We are also expecting and I would like this child to be raised by both parents in the same home.
I am very willing to work out extended visits during school breaks and pay at least half for travel.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
This one's easy. Let DAD have custody of his child while you move on your merry way! Then, YOU can visit.
 

hthrwey

Junior Member
wow, that's pretty harsh. Considering DAD wanting nothing to do with him until I forced him into a DNA test a few years ago.
 

hthrwey

Junior Member
I understand that, but I shouldn't be told to leave my boy behind and move on my merry little way? Really? Quality of life for myself and my son will be greatly improved. My son doesn't want to stay with his father, he's OK with moving, not that it matters to the courts. As much as I encourage him, he doesn't even want to visit with his father and step mother most of the time. He just has to.
 

CJane

Senior Member
I understand that, but I shouldn't be told to leave my boy behind and move on my merry little way? Really? Quality of life for myself and my son will be greatly improved. My son doesn't want to stay with his father, he's OK with moving, not that it matters to the courts. As much as I encourage him, he doesn't even want to visit with his father and step mother most of the time. He just has to.
You son has NO say in this. At. All.

How involved is Dad in the child's life? Does he exercise ALL or MOST of his court allowed time? Is he involved with school? Dr visits? Sports?

How near do you live to Dad now? Is Dad in the same school district as kiddo?

How does kiddo do in school? Socially? Academically?

How involved is kiddo in the current community? Sports? Scouts? Music lessons?
 

Isis1

Senior Member
I understand that, but I shouldn't be told to leave my boy behind and move on my merry little way? Really? Quality of life for myself and my son will be greatly improved. My son doesn't want to stay with his father, he's OK with moving, not that it matters to the courts. As much as I encourage him, he doesn't even want to visit with his father and step mother most of the time. He just has to.
reality is, once you inform dad, dad can and should request custody and you can have the long distance parenting plan. a judge just might rule on it.

look, don't go in court waving around the DNA test, the fact that dad was only around these last four years. you'll get yourself slaughtered in court and will only make dad's case for him.

file for a relocation. give dad an ample visitation schedule, more time than he has now. you pay all the costs of transportation, set skype times, set phone times, agree to keep dad updated with pictures and school records. be the reasonable one.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
wow, that's pretty harsh. Considering DAD wanting nothing to do with him until I forced him into a DNA test a few years ago.
You mean the man wanted nothing to do with a child that he was told was his, but had no actual proof of being his, nor did he have any legal obligation to have anything to do with him, right?

I assume you forced the DNA test in order to collect child support. But you're upset that he actually decided to be a dad. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

It seems to ME that DAD is the one who is trying to help the child maintain a relationship with BOTH parents.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I am very willing to work out extended visits during school breaks and pay at least half for travel.
That's SO generous of you. Don't be shocked if you're required to pay for ALL of the travel. Which, frankly, you should.
 
OP, you have failed to explain how it is in your child's best interest to remove him from the environment he knows and is familiar with. You have also failed to recognize that your son's relationship with his father is more important than your love life.

There is no guarantee that the quality of life will be better if you move. The advice you are receving may sound harsh, but it is the truth. The Court does not care about your sad story. They hear it all day, every day. The job of the Court is to see through the sob story and get to what is really in the best interest of the child.
 

hthrwey

Junior Member
No, don't judge. I forced the DNA for my son. Nothing to do with money, If I was worried about the money, I would have forced it much earlier. Either way, as stated, all of that is irrelevant. I'm certainly not disappointed that he is a Dad now.
Thank you to those giving me respectful advice. To those being cruel and judging the situation, get a life. I didn't come on here to insult or put anyone down. My fiancée simply needed to move back home to help care for his mother, and see his doctor to have his knee replaced. He will be recovering down there. In discussion, we thought about relocating entirely due to cost of living, among other factors, having nothing to do with taking my son from his father. I am more than willing to work with his father for visitation, unlimited phone calls and Skype.
His father is only as involved as stated in the court order. He sees him every other weekend and on Tuesdays for a couple of hours. He does not attend music lessons, or doctors visits. But his wife does ask permission from me to claim him as a dependent every year on their taxes.
 

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