GAL~Guardian Ad Litem

[Rwedunyet]

Ohiogal,

First let me apologize.....I cannot get the quote feature to work, nor can I get the copy and paste to work either. This response is to your post numbered #2.

I dont think that I worded myself appropriately, which led to a misunderstanding of my point of view. My fault entirely. The statement that I made about kids in rotten situations with parents with no sense was referring to the many sex abuse cases that are pending in our county. The interviewer gave me several scenerios from previous cases (no names were given) to ask me how I would react and feel. One was of a mother who wanted her and her child to stay in the house with the sexually abusive father while he got therapy for his disorder. I was referring to these situations, and should have made myself more clear.

I realize that there are many sensible good parents that need help, along with their children. I did not intend to imply otherwise.

As for saving children from their families.....that is not something that I can intend to do, quite simply because I will not have the power to "save" anyone. Any and all decisions to be made will be made by the courts, not me.

As for my role as an investigator, I am aware of that. The lady that I spoke with was very clear in what my responsibilities would be and what my limitations would be.

She also made it clear that while the attorneys would be for the parents, my presence will be for the CHILD. I am to be there to make sure that the CHILDS needs are being met and that the CHILD is properly considered in all the proceedings, based on the facts.

I do intend to answer you question list. I'll try to get to them in a few minutes.

Thank you for your reply and your thoughts on this!

 

[You Are Guilty]

Where is the line between spanking and abuse? Does the law define that?

I can't speak for Ohio, but in NY, "physical discipline" is generally legal as long as it doesn't leave a mark on the child. So while a whop with a belt across a clothed behind was usually OK, the same belt across the face is not.

That is why I recommend beating your kids with a bag of oranges.
Disclaimer: I do not really recommend, or condone, beating your children, much less with a bag of oranges.

 

[wavehopper27]

Start sarcasm.

If you whack them on top of the head, any marks will be hidden under the hair.

End sarcasm.

 

[Ohiogal]

Where is the line between spanking and abuse? Does the law define that?

In many states, yes it is defined. Abuse (versus spanking) in Ohio is egregious and is normally defined by bruising, scarring or otherwise marking the victim in some physical way.

 

[Rwedunyet]

I have rebooted and done a fresh log in to this site and am still unable to get the quote feature to work, nor can I use the copy and paste. I can, however, copy and paste on other sites.

Obviously this is a response to Ohiogal's questions in post #3

Should parents spank?

I spanked my children. My sister does not. It's a parenting choice.

Is spanking children acceptable?

There is not a yes or no answer to this. At times, yes it is acceptable. Again, it is a parenting choice.

How much should a parent drink around their children?

NO easy questions from you, huh? There is not a set amount of appropriate drinking for anyone. I will drink an occasional beer in front of my kids, and have done so for their entire life. I know many people who do the same, and dont see why it would be a problem. On the other hand, my brother is a serious alcoholic. I dont think he should drink at all in front of his children. They've seen him drunk and just the SIGHT of him with alcohol makes my niece fearful. Again, this depends on the particular situation.

Is drinking every night a problem? Is drinking several times a week a problem?

Again, this depends on the circumstances.

Is using Marijuana a problem?

I would question doing any ILLEGAL activity in front of a child. That said, there are many factors to be considered in this situation as well.

Is working at a strip club an issue?

why would it be? The parents should be free to earn their living and provide for their children in whatever manner they choose.

Should mother's strip to make a living?

see above answer

Is living in the ghetto acceptable?

Is the home safe? is there a roof and walls? Is the child being properly provided for? The particular address of a home should not matter.

Should children share a room with**************.step siblings, opposite sex, parents, etc?

Again, this is a parenting choice. I just dont see a problem here.

Should children sleep on air mattresses? Is a sleeping bag an appropriate sleeping area for a child?

Sure. My kids often chose to "camp out" in the living room with their sleeping bags for movie night. They would have LOVED an air mattress. Again, I dont see a problem here. I will say that I would hope that a sleeping bag would not be a long term sleeping arrangement, but it happens and as awful as it may sound, I just dont see that as causing any long term ill effects on a child.

Should parents allow their children to drink alcohol?

I *think* that is legal, I am not sure. Legality aside, and from a personal viewpoint,I dont see anything wrong with a parent allowing the consumption of alcohol, however, I can see how this could be an issue, if the parents were allowing enough alcohol to alter the mental state of the child or letting a very young child drink alcohol. Again, this is one of those situations that has too many "what ifs" to give a solid answer.

How many people should share a 2 bedroom apartment?

What does the fire code say? how large is the apartment? Too many variables****************************.

Is living at a homeless shelter appropriate?

beat the heck out of living under a bridge....

Should children be vaccinated?

in my personal opinion, yes they should. However, parents are allowed some exemptions on this matter.

Are vaccinations required?

no

If a child is not vaccinated, is that neglect?

No, that is a parenting choice.

How much school should a child attend?

Parents should make every effort to have their child at school and on time as much as possible. Home schooled children should follow the state guidelines. (I chose to home school my children, so I am familiar with the state guidelines)

Missing how much school is a problem or inappropriate?

Does the child have a health issue? What are the reasons that the child has missed school? Not enough information here to make a judgement call

How many clothes should a parent purchase for a child every year?

Enough to keep them fully clothed in clean clothes every day.

What are appropriate places to shop for children's clothing?

This question is perplexing. Seriously. Any place that sells children's clothing, including but not limited to Walmart, yard sales, Goodwill, Sears, Penny's, etc etc etc. (is this a trick question?)

If the parent does not have a driver's license, how negative is that to their parenting? If the parent has a suspended license, how big of a problem is that?

Is there a plan in place to provide transportation to get the child to school (school bus, friend or relative?) and to Dr appointments? With some planning, a parent not having driving privileges does not have to be an issue at all.

If a parent has their face tattooed or pierced, what does that mean?

It means they are braver than I am. nothing more.

If a parent has a criminal history, what does that say about their parenting ability?

Were they violent offenses? did the offenses involve a child? or were they desperate for money and wrote a bad check (not that I am endorsing writing bad checks) too many variables again....

If a parent has been incarcerated for several years, should they receive custody?

Why were they incarcerated? Who cared for the child while the parent was incarcerated and for how long?

Should a parent breastfeed their child?

This is a parenting choice.

Should a parent use cloth or disposable diapers?

Again, a parenting choice. On a personal note, when my youngest was a baby, he was on some long term medication that caused him to be VERY susceptible to a diaper rash. It was my parenting choice to not diaper him at all while he was awake. Alot of people took "issue" with that when they came to visit. To be blunt, it was none of their business how I chose to diaper or not diaper my child.

Should they co-sleep?

parenting choice.

Does a baby need a crib, changing table, and play pen?

Nope. Parents did without these conveniences for hundreds of years.

Does a baby need a carseat?

Only if baby is in a moving car**************..

---------------------

I hope that you were waiting on definitive answers to these questions. They were good questions for thought, and I appreciate the time you took in typing them, but I could not provide simple concise answers to them while at the same time being honest.

 

[Rwedunyet]

Response to post #4.

I never said that my believes would be used in making snap decisions on anything. And I never said that I was told that someone said I would be a good GAL because of my beliefs.

I hope that you are making your statements to try to educate me and help me understand my role, and not because you have made assumptions and judgements. I also hope that you are not trying to put words in my mouth. Our personalities clash, I know, but I have alot of respect for your passion and knowledge. I will give you the benefit of the doubt in this.

 

[Ohiogal]

Response to post #4.

I never said that my believes would be used in making snap decisions on anything. And I never said that I was told that someone said I would be a good GAL because of my beliefs.

I hope that you are making your statements to try to educate me and help me understand my role, and not because you have made assumptions and judgements. I also hope that you are not trying to put words in my mouth. Our personalities clash, I know, but I have alot of respect for your passion and knowledge. I will give you the benefit of the doubt in this.

I was not making the statements because I made assumptions or judgments. I was attempting to help you understand your role. You don't have to give me anything.

 

[stealth2]

Should parents allow their children to drink alcohol?

I *think* that is legal, I am not sure. Legality aside, and from a personal viewpoint,I dont see anything wrong with a parent allowing the consumption of alcohol, however, I can see how this could be an issue, if the parents were allowing enough alcohol to alter the mental state of the child or letting a very young child drink alcohol. Again, this is one of those situations that has too many "what ifs" to give a solid answer.

Just as an FYI... In some states (such as mine) it is perfectly legal for a parent to provide their minor child with alcohol. In the home - or out. In some states, it is not.

Additionally, there are situations when providing alcohol to a very young child is sanctioned. For example, the Eastern Orthodox Church provides Communion to the faithful from baptism onwards - and practices infant baptism. Those infants receive wine at every Communion. Perfectly, 100% legal.

 

[ecmst12]

Jewish baby boys get wine for pain relief at their bris. 8 days old.

They don't actually let you even leave the hospital without inspecting the car seat, checking that it's installed correctly and baby is strapped in properly.

 

[Rwedunyet]

stealth2**************..I tried to "like" your last post but the like button isnt working for me.

Thanks to all of you for the information.

 

[stealth2]

stealth2**************..I tried to "like" your last post but the like button isnt working for me.

Thanks to all of you for the information.

You're welcome. The thing to remember is that there is always more to a story than either side provides. What you see on the surface is usually just that - superficial. When you dig deeper, you may find that the parent who has to resort to stripping to support the kids? Makes sure to have a reliable care-giver, and spends their off time making sure the kid(s) are well cared for, getting to school, doing homework, etc. While Business Exec parent spends their off time schmoozing clients while flavor of the month watches the kids. And yes, that is gender-neutral. Because it could be *either* parent doing either of the above.

 

[Rwedunyet]

Yep. I am necro-posting to my own thread!

I wanted to let you all know that I did go forward with the training, and will be celebrating my 3rd year as a GAL! I fell hard and fast into the program, and a few months ago took additional training, and am now a licensed GAL facilitator.

So far, it's been an interesting journey.

AND I went back to school. I graduate (with HONORS!) in May with an Associate's in Criminal Justice! I do intend to continue on for a Bachelor's Degree and (I hope) work as a Juvenile Court Counselor.

Anyway, I appreciate the honest advice that ya'll offered way back when!

 

[Ohiogal]

Yep. I am necro-posting to my own thread!

I wanted to let you all know that I did go forward with the training, and will be celebrating my 3rd year as a GAL! I fell hard and fast into the program, and a few months ago took additional training, and am now a licensed GAL facilitator.

So far, it's been an interesting journey.

AND I went back to school. I graduate (with HONORS!) in May with an Associate's in Criminal Justice! I do intend to continue on for a Bachelor's Degree and (I hope) work as a Juvenile Court Counselor.

Anyway, I appreciate the honest advice that ya'll offered way back when!

Congrats to you and I am glad you are a GAL! Keep on keeping on. Maybe you should think of law school after your bachelor's degree

 

[Rwedunyet]

Congrats to you and I am glad you are a GAL! Keep on keeping on. Maybe you should think of law school after your bachelor's degree

Well, I have to survive this Constitutional and Criminal Law class first. Hubby said that I kept talking about Roping Simmons (Roper V Simmons) all night last night. lol, I have a large paper due about sentencing juveniles.