GAL~Guardian Ad Litem

[Rwedunyet]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC

There is a question at the end of the story!

4 years ago, the "empty nest" syndrome hit me. My boys were soon going to be grown and I wouldnt hear "mama" every five minutes during the day. I decided to find something to do with my time, partly to keep myself busy, and to feel useful (I hate being idle). And, to be perfectly honest, I figured giving myself a task would help me cut the apron strings to my boys without driving them batty. I started by looking at my local community college for some classes I could take, possibly leading to working with children. I had been a nurse, but quit my job when my first son was born. I've been fortunate enough to be able to stay at home and devote my full time to raising my children, which is a large reason why "empty nest" hit me so hard.

In doing my research, I stumbled across a GAL website and became intrigued. I had started researching this, but when my nephew was born and all the drama started with him 9 ( he ended up living with me), I put the GAL thing on the back burner.

In the process of seeking custody, my lawyer gave me a pamphlet about my county's GAL division. She is a GAL attorney and felt that I would make a good GAL. She urged me to set up and appointment to speak with the GAL coordinator for my area, and after some careful consideration, I did so. I was so disappointed at my initial meeting. It seems that there is a shortage of GALs nationwide, but my area is desperate for volunteers. She gave me some very good information, and assured me that many mothers are able to maintain their home (and many a full time job) while successfully volunteering as a GAL. She was open, honest and bluntly direct in answering all my questions.

I decided to volunteer and returned for my initial interview. I passed the background check (no criminal record at all. The only time I've ever gotten in trouble was a parking ticket.) and was approved after a rather intensive interview. I was asked to agree to commit to each case for at least a full year, which I readily agreed to. My training should start in about 7 weeks!

I am excited at the prospect of helping children and rather intimidated at the responsibility I will have in advocating for them. I've seen it with my nephew, these kids end up in rotten rotten situations, often with parents that have no sense what-so-ever, and the kids are helpless in it all. It was appalling to find out how many children are in similar situations, and so many of them are in worse situations. One particular problem in my county is that many of the GAL volunteers have asked to NOT take on cases where sexual abuse was a factor and there were many many children and families in need.

I believe that I have seen that Ohiogal is a GAL attorney, and was wondering if there are other GALs on this forum as well? If so, do you have any suggestions that would make me a better volunteer once I complete my training? Is there anything that you wish you would have known going into this?

This is not something that I am taking lightly and any and all suggestions, advice and guidance would be sincerely appreciated.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC

There is a question at the end of the story!

4 years ago, the "empty nest" syndrome hit me. My boys were soon going to be grown and I wouldnt hear "mama" every five minutes during the day. I decided to find something to do with my time, partly to keep myself busy, and to feel useful (I hate being idle). And, to be perfectly honest, I figured giving myself a task would help me cut the apron strings to my boys without driving them batty. I started by looking at my local community college for some classes I could take, possibly leading to working with children. I had been a nurse, but quit my job when my first son was born. I've been fortunate enough to be able to stay at home and devote my full time to raising my children, which is a large reason why "empty nest" hit me so hard.

In doing my research, I stumbled across a GAL website and became intrigued. I had started researching this, but when my nephew was born and all the drama started with him 9 ( he ended up living with me), I put the GAL thing on the back burner.

In the process of seeking custody, my lawyer gave me a pamphlet about my county's GAL division. She is a GAL attorney and felt that I would make a good GAL. She urged me to set up and appointment to speak with the GAL coordinator for my area, and after some careful consideration, I did so. I was so disappointed at my initial meeting. It seems that there is a shortage of GALs nationwide, but my area is desperate for volunteers. She gave me some very good information, and assured me that many mothers are able to maintain their home (and many a full time job) while successfully volunteering as a GAL. She was open, honest and bluntly direct in answering all my questions.

I decided to volunteer and returned for my initial interview. I passed the background check (no criminal record at all. The only time I've ever gotten in trouble was a parking ticket.) and was approved after a rather intensive interview. I was asked to agree to commit to each case for at least a full year, which I readily agreed to. My training should start in about 7 weeks!

I am excited at the prospect of helping children and rather intimidated at the responsibility I will have in advocating for them. I've seen it with my nephew, these kids end up in rotten rotten situations, often with parents that have no sense what-so-ever, and the kids are helpless in it all. It was appalling to find out how many children are in similar situations, and so many of them are in worse situations. One particular problem in my county is that many of the GAL volunteers have asked to NOT take on cases where sexual abuse was a factor and there were many many children and families in need.

I believe that I have seen that Ohiogal is a GAL attorney, and was wondering if there are other GALs on this forum as well? If so, do you have any suggestions that would make me a better volunteer once I complete my training? Is there anything that you wish you would have known going into this?

This is not something that I am taking lightly and any and all suggestions, advice and guidance would be sincerely appreciated.

Things that you have written concern me about you being a GAL. Unless you change your mindset you will not be a good GAL. You cannot go into this believing that parents have no sense what-so-ever, the children are in rotten rotten situations, and that you are going to save these children from their families. That is the WRONG idea and NOT your job. You have already determined the outcome of the cases without even seeing any facts and acted strictly on an emotional response.

Your role is not to be an advocate so much as an investigator. You want to find the truth. And that doesn't mean that the parents are evil or awful or anything else. If you are going to be a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate), then your role is to make sure that the truth is getting to the court. Your role is not to side with the caseworkers or make sure that the children are in perfect land. You are not to make decisions based on who has the most money or nicest house. You are to determine if the parents are making strides on their case plan and if the agency is doing everything they can to aid the parents in reunification. You are to make sure that minimum appropriate levels are met in housing. You are not to make judgment calls based on the fact that you disagree that the mother is a stripper or the parents live in the ghetto whereas grandma or the foster parents have bigger homes and can afford private school.

Rethink this and express yourself more succinctly in why you want to be a CASA.

 

[Ohiogal]

Consider all of the following:

1) Should parents spank?
2) Is spanking children acceptable?
3) How much should a parent drink around their children?
4) Is drinking every night a problem?
5) Is drinking several times a week a problem?
6) Is using marijuana a problem?
7) Is working at a strip club an issue?
8) Should mothers strip to make a living?
9) Is living in the ghetto acceptable?
10) Should children share bedrooms with step siblings?
11) Should children share bedrooms with children of the opposite sex?
12) Should children share bedrooms with their parents?
13) Should children be able to sleep on air mattresses?
14) Is a sleeping bag an appropriate sleeping area for a child?
15) Should parents allow their children to drink alcohol?
16) How many people should appropriately share a 2 bedroom apartment?
17) Is living at a homeless shelter appropriate?
18) Should children be vaccinated?
19) Are vaccinations a requirement?
20) IF children are not vaccinated, is that neglect?
21) How much school should a child attend?
22) Missing how much school is a problem or inappropriate?
23) How many clothes should parents purchase for their children every year?
23) Where are appropriate places to shop for children's clothes?
24) If a parent does not have a driver's license, how negative is that to their parenting?
25) If a parent's driver's license is suspended, how big of a problem is that?
26) If a parent has their face tattooed or pierced, what does that mean?
27) If a parent has a criminal history, what does that state about their parenting ability?
28) If a parent has been incarcerated for several years, should they receive custody?
29) Should a parent breastfeed their child?
30) Should they use disposable or cloth diapers?
31) Should they co-sleep?
32) Does a baby need a crib?
33) Does a baby need a changing table?
34) Does a baby need a play pen?
35) Does a baby need a car seat?

I can come up with 100 more. Please answer them. I'll wait.

 

[Ohiogal]

Now those questions above that I asked you to answer... how much do your answers matter?

Oh yeah, they don't. Not. At. All.

What you THINK doesn't matter. What you believe doesn't matter. What you feel doesn't matter. Because you have no facts. You have preconceived notions of what you believe are the answers but I can come up with a situation in which the opposite answer may be true. Unless you are willing to take all of your beliefs, notions, opinions, and throw them out the window, DO NOT BECOME A GAL.

Your role is not to make snap decisions based on your upbringing or your belief system because being a GAL is NOT about your belief system. It really isn't. Anyone who tells you that because of YOU and YOUR beliefs that you would make a good GAL is wrong. Being a GAL is not about what you belief. It is about what you can find out and how open you can be. It is about being objective and unbiased and looking at things from a very analytical viewpoint.


A satan-worshipping, drug-addict stripper who lives in the ghetto can be a more appropriate parent than the good Christian police officer who lives in the gated community. I've seen it. On paper you might get one result but reality it goes the other way.

 

[stealth2]

Thank goodness our law guardian (NY's equivalent of a GAL) didn't go on face value. Not that much of that list applies to me, but if you looked at it just on paper? My ex may well have been a prettier choice. But our LG was able to look past my "deficiencies" wrt the ex, and see which parent actually parented the children.

 

[Proserpina]

I just want to say, OG, that those posts were amazing.

 

[CSO286]

Consider all of the following:

1) Should parents spank? Parenting choice as long as the child isn't being abused.
2) Is spanking children acceptable? Yes. See above.
3) How much should a parent drink around their children? It depends.
4) Is drinking every night a problem? Sometimes.
5) Is drinking several times a week a problem? Sometimes.
6) Is using marijuana a problem? Sometimes.
7) Is working at a strip club an issue? No.
8) Should mothers strip to make a living? It's a job.
9) Is living in the ghetto acceptable? Maybe.
10) Should children share bedrooms with step siblings? No reason they can't.
11) Should children share bedrooms with children of the opposite sex? No reason they can't.
12) Should children share bedrooms with their parents? No reason they can't.
13) Should children be able to sleep on air mattresses? Ever gone camping?
14) Is a sleeping bag an appropriate sleeping area for a child? See above.15) Should parents allow their children to drink alcohol? No reason they can't--unless it could interfere with RX meds.
16) How many people should appropriately share a 2 bedroom apartment? It depends.
17) Is living at a homeless shelter appropriate? Sometimes.
18) Should children be vaccinated? For their own health and the health of those around them, yes.
19) Are vaccinations a requirement? No.
20) IF children are not vaccinated, is that neglect? No.
21) How much school should a child attend? as much as they are able and is needed to meet he schools requirements for successful attendance. Homeschool can be school attendance.
22) Missing how much school is a problem or inappropriate? Depends on the circumstances and reasons for missed school.23)
How many clothes should parents purchase for their children every year? However many are needed to enusre the child can wear clothes in good repair that fit.
23) Where are appropriate places to shop for children's clothes? Freecycle, garage sales, thrift stores, walmart, pennys, target, dpeartment stores, etc. Anywhere but Abercrombie and fitch. (please!!)
24) If a parent does not have a driver's license, how negative is that to their parenting? Depends on the circumstances.
25) If a parent's driver's license is suspended, how big of a problem is that? Depends on the circumstances.
26) If a parent has their face tattooed or pierced, what does that mean? It means they got inked.
27) If a parent has a criminal history, what does that state about their parenting ability? Depends on the charges.
28) If a parent has been incarcerated for several years, should they receive custody? Depends on the nature of the case and prior history.
29) Should a parent breastfeed their child? Medically speaking it is the most beneficial, however it's not a requirement for good parenting.
30) Should they use disposable or cloth diapers? Both. Either. But preferably some sort of covering for the baby's bum.
31) Should they co-sleep? Why not?
32) Does a baby need a crib? No
33) Does a baby need a changing table? No
34) Does a baby need a play pen? No
35) Does a baby need a car seat? If the baby is to travel in a vehicle, one should be available. But most county nursing services will provide one to a family if there's a need.
I can come up with 100 more. Please answer them. I'll wait.

I did it!!

 

[CSO286]

Hey, OG, would I make a good GAL?

 

[Ohiogal]

Hey, OG, would I make a good GAL?

You got most of the questions> When I get time I will come back and explain a bit more.

 

[You Are Guilty]

Interesting. I never knew other states used GALs that were not attorneys. First time I have actually been impressed with the NY Family Court system.

 

[Ohiogal]

Consider all of the following:

1) Should parents spank? Parenting choice as long as the child isn't being abused.
2) Is spanking children acceptable? Yes. See above.

Some cultures discipline differently than others. Some GALs abhor spanking and I have had testimony that people who spank are abusing. Wrong answer. Your answer is correct.

3) How much should a parent drink around their children? It depends.
4) Is drinking every night a problem? Sometimes.
5) Is drinking several times a week a problem? Sometimes.

Where did your mind go? Oh it went to alcohol. Where did I say drinking alcohol? That is the first thing. Many people fill in the gaps of the question that thought were there. You need to sometimes just read the question. Too many people tend to fill in the blanks they think they see even though the question I asked was a complete question. Secondly, I have had some people that I KNOW drink a glass or two of wine every night at dinner take issue with individuals who drink a bottle or two of beer every night. The beer drinkers are lower socioeconomic classes normally while the wine drinkers have more discretionary income. That is another issue that some people have. Getting rid of those prejudices or seeing them for what they are matters. The same people that think the person who drinks a six pack has a problem but the person who drinks a bottle of wine with dinner is doing nothing wrong -- well it says a lot about expectations, stereotypes and the individuals making the presumptions.

6) Is using marijuana a problem? Sometimes.

True. What state? How often? What for? How does impact parenting?

7) Is working at a strip club an issue? No.
8) Should mothers strip to make a living? It's a job.

Some good Christian CASAs have told me that it is immoral and not something that any good parent would do. There is something dirty or dingy or sleazy attached. If someone is stripping -- hey does that mean they are whoring around? For some CASAs, yeah that is exactly what it means. Or they are druggies or alcoholics. They bring in their own misconceptions.

9) Is living in the ghetto acceptable? Maybe.

Where doesn't matter. HOW, matters. Is the home appropriate?

10) Should children share bedrooms with step siblings? No reason they can't.
11) Should children share bedrooms with children of the opposite sex? No reason they can't.
12) Should children share bedrooms with their parents? No reason they can't.

Some people believe that children should not share bedrooms. Some people believe that children should not room with parents.

13) Should children be able to sleep on air mattresses? Ever gone camping?
14) Is a sleeping bag an appropriate sleeping area for a child? See above

I have had some CASAs state that unless there is a bed with proper frame and mattress, the child cannot live with mom or dad or whoever.

15) Should parents allow their children to drink alcohol? No reason they can't--unless it could interfere with RX meds.

Children drink alcohol? People hate to be told that some cultures and religions allow a child to have a bit and there is not an issue with it. In Ohio, it is not illegal.

16) How many people should appropriately share a 2 bedroom apartment? It depends.

Aside from zoning and lease requirements/restrictions, it doesn't matter.

17) Is living at a homeless shelter appropriate? Sometimes.

Some people say no to that automatically without realizing that a homeless shelter is shelter.

18) Should children be vaccinated? For their own health and the health of those around them, yes.
19) Are vaccinations a requirement? No.
20) IF children are not vaccinated, is that neglect? No.

18 is a personal preference for you. It is YOUR opinion. And the opinion of others but it is NOT the force of law.

21) How much school should a child attend? as much as they are able and is needed to meet he schools requirements for successful attendance. Homeschool can be school attendance.
22) Missing how much school is a problem or inappropriate? Depends on the circumstances and reasons for missed school.

Good answers. Different reasons for different things. Don't answer in a vacuum.

23)
How many clothes should parents purchase for their children every year? However many are needed to enusre the child can wear clothes in good repair that fit.
23) Where are appropriate places to shop for children's clothes? Freecycle, garage sales, thrift stores, walmart, pennys, target, dpeartment stores, etc. Anywhere but Abercrombie and fitch. (please!!)

You missed the word "shop" -- freecycle is not shopping. Truthfully, a parent doesn't have to shop ever for clothes for their child.

24) If a parent does not have a driver's license, how negative is that to their parenting? Depends on the circumstances.
25) If a parent's driver's license is suspended, how big of a problem is that? Depends on the circumstances.

I have had CASAs testify that if mom/dad doesn't have a license, they can't parent because the child needs to get places. Ummm, buses and taxis exist. Public transportation. The funny thing is, most CASAs are too wealthy to know how to take a bus properly. I will be quite honest -- I am not wealthy but I am too wealthy to know how to take a bus. Could I learn? Yeah. But at this point, it is foreign to me. Why? Because I have always had a vehicle for transportation.

26) If a parent has their face tattooed or pierced, what does that mean? It means they got inked.

It doesn't mean that they are gangbangers, criminals, drug users, or various other things that some people think.

27) If a parent has a criminal history, what does that state about their parenting ability? Depends on the charges.

A criminal history means NOTHING about their CURRENT parenting ability. They could have been convicted 10 years ago for child endangerment and today there are no issues because they took parenting classes, corrected the issues and dealt with it.

28) If a parent has been incarcerated for several years, should they receive custody? Depends on the nature of the case and prior history.

Among other things. When was the parent incarcerated for several years? Just recently or when they were 18 and they are now 40?

29) Should a parent breastfeed their child? Medically speaking it is the most beneficial, however it's not a requirement for good parenting.

Doesn't matter if a parent breastfeeds or not.

30) Should they use disposable or cloth diapers? Both. Either. But preferably some sort of covering for the baby's bum.

Preferably yeah. But guess what -- free range babying exists. Baby runs naked and is placed on the toilet every so often thus eliminating the need for a diaper.

31) Should they co-sleep? Why not?
32) Does a baby need a crib? No
33) Does a baby need a changing table? No
34) Does a baby need a play pen? No

Baby needs very very little. Baby can actually sleep in a dresser drawer (open of course) or laundry basket or other things. These fancy necessities are not necessities but rather status symbols.

35) Does a baby need a car seat? If the baby is to travel in a vehicle, one should be available. But most county nursing services will provide one to a family if there's a need.

Many people read that and immediately say, YES because it is required by law. Ummmm, actually not true. Some of the buses around here are outfitted to allow strollers on them and parents can wear their snugglies on the bus. So a car seat is NOT a necessity. Unless you own a car and/or will be transporting the child in such.

It is all about thinking things through and putting yourself outside of your preconceived notions and conceptions.

 

[Ohiogal]

Interesting. I never knew other states used GALs that were not attorneys. First time I have actually been impressed with the NY Family Court system.

Ohio uses CASAs on Dependency and Neglect cases. I call the CASAs, the ladies who lunch and they drive me crazy. I take some CASA cases but some of these lay people... arrggghh...

 

[You Are Guilty]

I can see how that can be an issue, particularly for the types of cases they are being used for.

'Round these here parts, the GAL/Law Guardians are pulled from the same 18-b panel that the PD's are in. So sometimes you are a defense attorney, sometimes you are a GAL, but at least everyone gets a lawyer.

 

[ecmst12]

Where is the line between spanking and abuse? Does the law define that?

 

[ecmst12]

And breastfeeding could actually be a bad thing, if mom isn't producing enough milk and the child is not getting enough nutrition. The important part is that the child is being fed appropriately and is thriving.