+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 31
  1. #1
    waiting_game is offline Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    97

    Gal and one sided investigations

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TN
    Long story short, my ex had zero to do with our child till I asked for state assistance with child care. At which point they went after him for child support. he then decided to make false statements about where we live and asked for sole custody. Before we had our court date, he moved to CA. He did not tell the court he moved, he told him he still lived at his old address here in TN and then asked for home studies of both of our residences and a GAL. Well, the home study was done here, they met with me and my daughter, said everything was fine. My daughter and I met with the GAL and he visited here as well.
    My question is, since he moved, they are unable to do any home study on him or the GAL see his living environment. Will this not make any difference in court, especially since he is the one who asked for all these things then bailed and was unavailable for them? Please note, I have no problem with any of the investigators or the GAL but really think that it needs to go both ways with the investigation, even more now that he has moved so far away. Thanks as always for your advice.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
  2. #2
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    18,121
    I had to read your post three times as I was astounded someone would get a GAL involved only to not be around. If you are charged by the GAL for fees, request the court to order dad pay those fees.

    Dad is stalling. I can't think of any other reason why he he would be so stupid.

    You can't force dad to be available. As long as the GAL is happy with you, leave it at that for your end. Let dad bury his own self.
  3. #3
    waiting_game is offline Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    97
    My only worry now is that OP lives across the country with a girl he met online and her 2 kids. If A home study was ever needed i'd say it is now but the lady who did the home study here said that since he doesn't live here in state none will be done. I worry about my little one going that far away into a unknown situation.
  4. #4
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    65,370
    Quote Originally Posted by waiting_game View Post
    My only worry now is that OP lives across the country with a girl he met online and her 2 kids. If A home study was ever needed i'd say it is now but the lady who did the home study here said that since he doesn't live here in state none will be done. I worry about my little one going that far away into a unknown situation.
    There is a chance it won't happen. You should request that dad be required to provide all of the transportation costs for visitation, since he created the distance. If he wasn't interested in the child before, its possible he won't be interested enough now to pony up the costs.

    Expect to have problems collecting child support as well.
  5. #5
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    44,328
    It would really help us help you if you kept your posts together, rather than starting new threads for each new thought/question about your situation. Thanks.
  6. #6
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    21,315
    Quote Originally Posted by waiting_game View Post
    My only worry now is that OP lives across the country with a girl he met online and her 2 kids. If A home study was ever needed i'd say it is now but the lady who did the home study here said that since he doesn't live here in state none will be done. I worry about my little one going that far away into a unknown situation.
    Then you request that he have only supervised visitation in TN until he can complete an approved home study in his new home. After all, he requested one from you, so it's only reasonable that he should complete one.

    While TN won't do a study in CA, I'm sure he can find someone who could - if he cares enough.
  7. #7
    Tex78704 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    518
    Unless there is prior evidence of unsuitability of his home, it is unlikely the court will require him to submit to supervised visitation pending a home study. Home studies are easy to pass for most people, and their value is generally higher when used comparatively in disputes over primary custody.

    Given he lives in CA and that whoever does his homestudy will not likely be available to testify in court, unless you can make a better argument than what is good for the goose is good for the gander, he will likely not end up getting a home study done.

    But as noted, you should request he pay the entire cost of the evaluations, and pay for travel costs on visitations
  8. #8
    CJane is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Kansas City
    Posts
    19,832
    It would REALLY help if you could provide a time line.

    According to previous threads of yours, your ex was agreeing to you having sole custody w/no argument from him.
  9. #9
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    21,315
    Quote Originally Posted by Tex78704 View Post
    Unless there is prior evidence of unsuitability of his home, it is unlikely the court will require him to submit to supervised visitation pending a home study. Home studies are easy to pass for most people, and their value is generally higher when used comparatively in disputes over primary custody.
    But EX is the one who requested a home study:
    "he told him he still lived at his old address here in TN and then asked for home studies of both of our residences and a GAL"

    It would not be unreasonable for OP to say "Your honor, ex felt that it was unsafe for our child to be in a home that has not been thoroughly investigated and I agree. Since he felt that a home study was the appropriate way to handle that, I request that you order him to follow through with his own request and have a home study done at his residence before visitation is allowed".

    While you are right that the court might not order a home study, when ex formally requested one, it is well within the court's rights to insist on him following through.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tex78704 View Post
    Given he lives in CA and that whoever does his homestudy will not likely be available to testify in court, unless you can make a better argument than what is good for the goose is good for the gander, he will likely not end up getting a home study done.
    It's not 'what is good for the goose....'. It's asking the court to follow through on a process that ex requested.

    As for bringing someone from CA to testify, that's ex's problem. He may be paying some air fares and extra consulting fees, but he's the one who insisted that both homes needed a home study.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tex78704 View Post
    But as noted, you should request he pay the entire cost of the evaluations, and pay for travel costs on visitations
    And legal costs.
  10. #10
    Tex78704 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    518
    I agree some of this can go either way, but after all is said and done, i am more inclined to believe a home study will not be ordered for his home in CA. Even if he is required to, he could have one done in CA and submit the report to the court and be done with it.

    One other logistical problem with CA home study is the child may be required to be at his home in CA during the evaluator's visit
  11. #11
    waiting_game is offline Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    97
    Sorry for not putting all my questions in one thread. My bad for thinking different question, different thread.

    Yes, before court last time and before my daughter and I met with the GAL (which he has been ordered to pay for) OP asked me to not meet with the GAL and told me he would sign over full custody if I got my lawyer to draw up the papers. He said he "just wanted it out of the courts". I, of course, met with the GAL as I don't trust OP any further than I can throw him. After discussion with his girlfriend, he has apparently changed his mind, as she would not want a deadbeat, uninterested father as a boyfriend like she claims her ex is.

    Child support is an issue, he has not paid a dime since the court ordered it and they are in the process of filing for contempt in California.

    It is just frustrating that he can lie to the court and stall again and again. This is my first dealing with the justice system and I always thought that being honest counted for something. Maybe I am wrong. Thanks again for your replies and again, sorry for not keeping different questions in one thread, I will from now on.
  12. #12
    waiting_game is offline Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    97

    Angry Is this crazy?


    ok, so OP is supposed to call every Wed at 7pm. out of the last month (4 weeks)he has called one time, this past Wed. He talked to our daughter for 4 minutes and then he just hung up with no goodbye, nothing, just dial tone and no call back.
    Yesterday the GAL called. he said he had just talked to OP and he was asking for web chats with our daughter (she is 5 now). I told him I have no web cam and have dial up. I may be getting a higher speed connection but still have no web cam and don't even know if my computer (it's a relic) will support a web cam/connection like that.
    Well, he wants me to get it set up so OP can web chat and then asked how well Op was calling. I told him. SO..... GAL tells me I am supposed to send OP 2-3 emails per week, reminding him to call when he is supposed to and to carbon copy the GAL so he knows it's being sent.
    I told him if OP knows he is getting a carbon copy of being reminded he will more than likely respond and call like he should (but never does) because he knows he is being watched.
    The GAL said that would be a good thing for our child. I said well, except for the fact he only does the right thing when he is being watched, what happens when he isn't reminded and he disappears again, who is gonna remind him she exists when she is sent across the country to visit him?
    My question is, since I know I am supposed to do everything the GAL says, I am supposed to do the email reminder thing right. Even though I feel it is completely wrong for me to be expected to have to remind OP 2-3 times a week to call.
    Second question is since I do not have extra money for a webcam (OP has never paid any of his court ordered child support and is currently in contempt), and I have no idea if my old computer will even run one...can I request OP buy a webcam if he wants the web chats?

    Thanks in advance for your insight.
  13. #13
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Sitting at the computer probably rolling my eyes at your post
    Posts
    13,439
    Webcams are $30 all day long. Really, you want to have this discussion over $30????

    Is your time not worth more than $30?
  14. #14
    CJane is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Kansas City
    Posts
    19,832
    I'd send the emails. Firstly because it satisfies the GAL's very simple request and secondly because it enforcees that you're willing to facilitate a relationship between Dad and child. Who cares if it takes 5 seconds of your time and makes you grit your teeth every time?

    And buy the web cam. If your PC doesn't support it, or your connection is too slow, return it. But you'd at least be able to show you tried.

    Again, grand scheme? You REALLY want to fight about crap like this for the rest of your child's life?
  15. #15
    TheGeekess is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    The Heart o' Dixie
    Posts
    9,745
    Quote Originally Posted by CJane View Post
    I'd send the emails. Firstly because it satisfies the GAL's very simple request and secondly because it enforcees that you're willing to facilitate a relationship between Dad and child. Who cares if it takes 5 seconds of your time and makes you grit your teeth every time?

    And buy the web cam. If your PC doesn't support it, or your connection is too slow, return it. But you'd at least be able to show you tried.

    Again, grand scheme? You REALLY want to fight about crap like this for the rest of your child's life?
    If the PC is running anything less than XP, then today's webcams more than likely will not work. If the PC is running at least XP, then the cams should work. In fact, I'm going to step out on a limb here and say if you've got at least a 600mhz processor and 256mb RAM then a webcam should work.

Similar Threads

  1. Investigations
    By Coping1 in forum Arrests, Searches, Warrants & Procedure
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 10-14-2010, 08:07 AM
  2. not 2 sided
    By sandysue in forum Domestic Violence & Abuse
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 09-10-2006, 08:19 PM
  3. investigations??
    By faithnlve in forum Job Discrimination and Harassment
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 12-22-2005, 02:40 PM
  4. Investigations
    By MistyChere in forum Arrests, Searches, Warrants & Procedure
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 11-19-2005, 10:13 PM
  5. one sided ex
    By Naturalmom in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-01-2004, 12:54 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

© 1995-2012 Advice Company, All Rights Reserved

FreeAdvice® has been providing millions of consumers with outstanding advice, free, since 1995. While not a substitute for personal advice from a licensed professional, it is available AS IS, subject to our Disclaimer and Terms & Conditions Of Use.