Getting Supervised Visitation (sensitive topic)

[swc123]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

Ex has been living out of state for 3 years - finally got a long distance parenting plan in place last year (he sees them 2-3 times a year).
During my divorce I tried for sole custody bc of substance abuse and the courts said only thing I could do was mandate rehab that I'd have to pay for but after the 30 days he'd be considered sober and fit to parent.
Well, - this is hard to even type - yesterday he tried to commit suicide. (long story how I got police to find him -I am still in shock)...he's been Baker acted and after the 72 hours I am unsure what will happen (not my problem except he's the father of my children and I do not want this to be a part of their legacy). His dad is with him now.
My question is - can I petition the court to change to full custody now with supervised visitation or not allowed to see the kids or ??? I am open to thoughts and advice? I know I'd need the police report and the medical forms (so I'll have to get a lawyer to subpeona that stuff). He's not in a rush to see the kids anyway and I know that a piece of paper won't stop things if he wants to do anything, but I'd like to have something filed with the county. The kids do not know anything = they haven't seen him since March and unsure when they've spoken to him last.
My kids are 12, 10 and 9.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

Ex has been living out of state for 3 years - finally got a long distance parenting plan in place last year (he sees them 2-3 times a year).
During my divorce I tried for sole custody bc of substance abuse and the courts said only thing I could do was mandate rehab that I'd have to pay for but after the 30 days he'd be considered sober and fit to parent.
Well, - this is hard to even type - yesterday he tried to commit suicide. (long story how I got police to find him -I am still in shock)...he's been Baker acted and after the 72 hours I am unsure what will happen (not my problem except he's the father of my children and I do not want this to be a part of their legacy). His dad is with him now.
My question is - can I petition the court to change to full custody now with supervised visitation or not allowed to see the kids or ??? I am open to thoughts and advice? I know I'd need the police report and the medical forms (so I'll have to get a lawyer to subpeona that stuff). He's not in a rush to see the kids anyway and I know that a piece of paper won't stop things if he wants to do anything, but I'd like to have something filed with the county. The kids do not know anything = they haven't seen him since March and unsure when they've spoken to him last.
My kids are 12, 10 and 9.

How often does the court order grant dad visitation? When is his next court ordered visitation? How far away from you does he live?

 

[swc123]

How often does the court order grant dad visitation? When is his next court ordered visitation? How far away from you does he live?

He lives 2100 miles away.

Long distance plan says: School year - he can have them one weekend a month IF it's a 3 day weekend and has to be near where I live to not disrupt the kids' school and extracurricular activities. If no 3-day weekend we can decide one together. All visits need to be made a month in advance. School year he can drop them at school at 9am and in summer home at 9am.
Summer timesharing - he's entitled to half the summer break (he's never, ever, ever done that) with plans being made by May 1 and those weeks CAN be out of town. If summer school then back to 3 day weekend.
Memorial Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Winter Break and Spring Break the children "generally" spend with me but if he wants to visit I can allow with one month notice.
I get Mother's Day. He get's Father's Day "if he chooses".

So technically he last court ordered visitation was Sunday for Father's Day and he was 2100 miles away and kept his phone off all day so the kids never got to talk to him. He could have 2 weeks this summer but as of now he hasn't asked or made any sort of plans to see or have them. After this summer break it would be Labor Day I guess since it's a 3-day weekend.

So far this year he saw them for the 3 day weekend in February and a few days in March over their spring break (a total of 6 overnights so far this year). - all HIS choice. In March he had the kids at his parent's house which made me feel better for the kids.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

Ex has been living out of state for 3 years - finally got a long distance parenting plan in place last year (he sees them 2-3 times a year).
During my divorce I tried for sole custody bc of substance abuse and the courts said only thing I could do was mandate rehab that I'd have to pay for but after the 30 days he'd be considered sober and fit to parent.
Well, - this is hard to even type - yesterday he tried to commit suicide. (long story how I got police to find him -I am still in shock)...he's been Baker acted and after the 72 hours I am unsure what will happen (not my problem except he's the father of my children and I do not want this to be a part of their legacy). His dad is with him now.
My question is - can I petition the court to change to full custody now with supervised visitation or not allowed to see the kids or ??? I am open to thoughts and advice? I know I'd need the police report and the medical forms (so I'll have to get a lawyer to subpeona that stuff). He's not in a rush to see the kids anyway and I know that a piece of paper won't stop things if he wants to do anything, but I'd like to have something filed with the county. The kids do not know anything = they haven't seen him since March and unsure when they've spoken to him last.
My kids are 12, 10 and 9.

I would definitely hire an attorney with the intent to file to modify all visits to supervised...possibly with his parents as the supervisors.

 

[swc123]

thanks

I would definitely hire an attorney with the intent to file to modify all visits to supervised...possibly with his parents as the supervisors.

Thanks. Sounds like I'm not being unreasonable! I have a consult with a lawyer later today.

 

[Ladyback1]

Thanks. Sounds like I'm not being unreasonable! .

No, you're not being unreasonable in wanting to make sure that Dad is safe and wanting to see that he is receiving the assistance he needs.

No, you're not unreasonable for wanting to make sure the children are safe when with Dad.

Hopefully, Dad gets help and can get his life to make some sense (in his own head)!

 

[swc123]

ex released into a 90 day program

No, you're not being unreasonable in wanting to make sure that Dad is safe and wanting to see that he is receiving the assistance he needs.

No, you're not unreasonable for wanting to make sure the children are safe when with Dad.

Hopefully, Dad gets help and can get his life to make some sense (in his own head)!

He's being moved closer to his parents home (about 400 miles from me and the kids) for a 90 day intensive program. So now new questions:
do the kids have to visit him in there?
My lawyer will do the child visitation modification whenever ex is settled so we can get Police Report and Medical records (and ex's whereabouts and signatures if needed).

So even if I get supervised visitation does that me his parents can take them to see him at the inpatient center?
Once he's out (if he lasts 90 days) would he have to go to court to reverse or does the visitation go back to pre-rehab? At this point I don't want the kids to even speak to him (his suicide letter 'to them' was very confusing and had nothing in it about them anyway) and I don't feel comfortable with them having contact -unless texts where there is someone screening them.

I'll know more this weekend after the in-take because I will write a note to the center myself. (even with all of this ex parents are in major denial and easily manipulated by him).

 

[Proserpina]

He's being moved closer to his parents home (about 400 miles from me and the kids) for a 90 day intensive program. So now new questions:
do the kids have to visit him in there?
My lawyer will do the child visitation modification whenever ex is settled so we can get Police Report and Medical records (and ex's whereabouts and signatures if needed).

So even if I get supervised visitation does that me his parents can take them to see him at the inpatient center?
Once he's out (if he lasts 90 days) would he have to go to court to reverse or does the visitation go back to pre-rehab? At this point I don't want the kids to even speak to him (his suicide letter 'to them' was very confusing and had nothing in it about them anyway) and I don't feel comfortable with them having contact -unless texts where there is someone screening them.

I'll know more this weekend after the in-take because I will write a note to the center myself. (even with all of this ex parents are in major denial and easily manipulated by him).

Be aware that the center will not give you any information at all without his consent.

 

[LdiJ]

He's being moved closer to his parents home (about 400 miles from me and the kids) for a 90 day intensive program. So now new questions:
do the kids have to visit him in there?
My lawyer will do the child visitation modification whenever ex is settled so we can get Police Report and Medical records (and ex's whereabouts and signatures if needed).

So even if I get supervised visitation does that me his parents can take them to see him at the inpatient center?
Once he's out (if he lasts 90 days) would he have to go to court to reverse or does the visitation go back to pre-rehab? At this point I don't want the kids to even speak to him (his suicide letter 'to them' was very confusing and had nothing in it about them anyway) and I don't feel comfortable with them having contact -unless texts where there is someone screening them.

I'll know more this weekend after the in-take because I will write a note to the center myself. (even with all of this ex parents are in major denial and easily manipulated by him).

Get an attorney on board and talk to the attorney about things. You can certainly make emergency petitions to the court based on the best interests of your children.

 

[swc123]

thanks

Be aware that the center will not give you any information at all without his consent.

True - his parents should could me updated.

 

[Proserpina]

True - his parents should could me updated.

I hope so!

 

[swc123]

thanks

Get an attorney on board and talk to the attorney about things. You can certainly make emergency petitions to the court based on the best interests of your children.

Yes - I'm way over my head with this. I had a phone consult with a local attorney. Once I get the name of the place ex is (last I heard he was driving cross country with his dad - and they were supposedly headed to a center) I'll retain the attorney. Wonder if I need ex signature if he goes into treatment (again, unsure how that works with confidentiality, etc) or if judge would just sign off once they get records.

Thanks again everyone.

 

[LdiJ]

Yes - I'm way over my head with this. I had a phone consult with a local attorney. Once I get the name of the place ex is (last I heard he was driving cross country with his dad - and they were supposedly headed to a center) I'll retain the attorney. Wonder if I need ex signature if he goes into treatment (again, unsure how that works with confidentiality, etc) or if judge would just sign off once they get records.

Thanks again everyone.

No, you don't need the ex's signature. The judge can make a decision on the best interest of the children without your ex agreeing with it. Your ex would need to be properly served, but your attorney knows how to make that happen.

 

[swc123]

What if...

No, you don't need the ex's signature. The judge can make a decision on the best interest of the children without your ex agreeing with it. Your ex would need to be properly served, but your attorney knows how to make that happen.

What if ex leaves treatment on his own well before the 90 days? Can I file a TRO away from the kids since I am fearful for them if he just shows up after leaving rehab against medical advice. I am trying to see all potential issues. If I knew he was staying the 90 days I'd just have the supervised visitation written up but if he leaves before doctors say he should then that's a new issue.

 

[LdiJ]

What if ex leaves treatment on his own well before the 90 days? Can I file a TRO away from the kids since I am fearful for them if he just shows up after leaving rehab against medical advice. I am trying to see all potential issues. If I knew he was staying the 90 days I'd just have the supervised visitation written up but if he leaves before doctors say he should then that's a new issue.

Again, you do not need his agreement to get a modification. Whether he completes treatment or not you can get a judge to modify visitation to supervised based on the circumstances.