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Go from full physical, joint legal to soul custody and parenting time??

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ArieLily

Junior Member
This is going to be length because I believe the more the better... to start, I'm from Michigan, Wayne County

I have an 4-5 month old. Me and her father are divorced; everything was set in place and finalized before she was born. I originally filed for soul custody with no parenting time and I'll go in depth why... Right now, our papers state I have full physical, joint legal and parenting time responsible. Which I have always have an open door policy as long as we are not on worse comes to worse terms. When her father and I talk on the phone which for the most part is daily, I put him on speaker and allow his time to speak to our baby girl. For a minute, he was trying to make a ritual to call her and say goodnight and he loves her daily but to good to be true that didn't last...

To start with her father, I understand that courts do their all to have both parties in the child's raising and I wouldn't have a problem with that if he father wanted to be a parent himself. He lives without mental illness and doesn't thrive to get better! Without having much thought into it, I can remember 3 suicidal thoughts incidents with him and when he's "depressed" he sleeps his days and nights away and will make someone else responsible for his child during his time. Which brings me to

In 2013, I entered his life with his only child at the time; she was 2 1/2. I took on this little girl from the start: in no time I was keeping her overnight while her dad worked an tattoo party, and as we became a little family his parenting time became mine. I woke up with this little girl, put her to bed, bought things to help her when we found out her weaknesses at parent teacher conferences, bought her the clothes she wore on the weekends, bought her whatever she needed such as OTC medication because her mom never gave us medication so our house looked like an children's OTC pharmacy, during mother's day, etc I'd be the one to take her out and encourage the relationship with her mother, I was the middle man/mediator between her ex and her mom. I DID ALL THE PAPERWORK FOR THE CASES IN CONCERN OF HIS CHILD AND WAS THE TRUE OTHER PARTY IN THEIR CASE AND WON EACH AND EVERY ONE PER PRO (that means I did w/o an attorney). This little girl loves her dad but has rarely a daddy/daughter relationship it was growing as I did all the work to encourage but as soon as he moved out when I left him, he hasn't had parenting time or his weekends, summer weeks, etc since which will be a year in February

Now to the child that's in our case, she was an 100% planned baby. He has not bought nothing since conception... he has medical, what for? He has never made an wellness or sick visit at the ped's. Our daughter was seen by two specialist: cardiologist and neurologist and has never went and has always been noticed in enough time. Our daughter, currently has RSV and has been at the hospital 3 times...he's made 2/3 with that said. First, I brought her in for GASPING air (didn't know at this point she had RSV) his arrival was 9-10 hours after being notified. Two, again....notified and hours later he's walking in (it was after 2 am when he walked in), third, called; said he'd work on a ride and let me know. Hours later...I call twice and the lazy, useless father he is, is sleeping calls me back hours later when I was discharging her and I'm sure to care he didn't feel well; sorry I don't! I didn't feel for weeks and I still had be a parent. he has never and I don't know honestly know how to unless I instructed him how to make an bottle. If he ever wanted to do separate time has none of the necessities such as an car seat and I've told him I am not providing everything such as the car seat. Plain and simple it's illegal to have a child that young and little without an car seat.

I just filed for show cause hearing for child support because he's never paid an penny and is already $2,000.00 in debt. Should I file 2 in 1 and fight for soul custody and give time like her first year and present his involvement, relationship in her first year.... I debate this within myself more than not. I know the court tries to see what's best but is it best for a child to live a relationship that's so inconsistent and unstable? Why when I don't want to be a parent would I have if no, buts, etc about but the non-custodial it's an option

If you have any future questions/comments message me or comment....Idk, I'm new this!
 


ArieLily

Junior Member
I forgot to add....

This is going to be length because I believe the more the better... to start, I'm from Michigan, Wayne County

I have an 4-5 month old. Me and her father are divorced; everything was set in place and finalized before she was born. I originally filed for soul custody with no parenting time and I'll go in depth why... Right now, our papers state I have full physical, joint legal and parenting time responsible. Which I have always have an open door policy as long as we are not on worse comes to worse terms. When her father and I talk on the phone which for the most part is daily, I put him on speaker and allow his time to speak to our baby girl. For a minute, he was trying to make a ritual to call her and say goodnight and he loves her daily but to good to be true that didn't last...

To start with her father, I understand that courts do their all to have both parties in the child's raising and I wouldn't have a problem with that if he father wanted to be a parent himself. He lives without mental illness and doesn't thrive to get better! Without having much thought into it, I can remember 3 suicidal thoughts incidents with him and when he's "depressed" he sleeps his days and nights away and will make someone else responsible for his child during his time. Which brings me to

In 2013, I entered his life with his only child at the time; she was 2 1/2. I took on this little girl from the start: in no time I was keeping her overnight while her dad worked an tattoo party, and as we became a little family his parenting time became mine. I woke up with this little girl, put her to bed, bought things to help her when we found out her weaknesses at parent teacher conferences, bought her the clothes she wore on the weekends, bought her whatever she needed such as OTC medication because her mom never gave us medication so our house looked like an children's OTC pharmacy, during mother's day, etc I'd be the one to take her out and encourage the relationship with her mother, I was the middle man/mediator between her ex and her mom. I DID ALL THE PAPERWORK FOR THE CASES IN CONCERN OF HIS CHILD AND WAS THE TRUE OTHER PARTY IN THEIR CASE AND WON EACH AND EVERY ONE PER PRO (that means I did w/o an attorney). This little girl loves her dad but has rarely a daddy/daughter relationship it was growing as I did all the work to encourage but as soon as he moved out when I left him, he hasn't had parenting time or his weekends, summer weeks, etc since which will be a year in February

Now to the child that's in our case, she was an 100% planned baby. He has not bought nothing since conception... he has medical, what for? He has never made an wellness or sick visit at the ped's. Our daughter was seen by two specialist: cardiologist and neurologist and has never went and has always been noticed in enough time. Our daughter, currently has RSV and has been at the hospital 3 times...he's made 2/3 with that said. First, I brought her in for GASPING air (didn't know at this point she had RSV) his arrival was 9-10 hours after being notified. Two, again....notified and hours later he's walking in (it was after 2 am when he walked in), third, called; said he'd work on a ride and let me know. Hours later...I call twice and the lazy, useless father he is, is sleeping calls me back hours later when I was discharging her and I'm sure to care he didn't feel well; sorry I don't! I didn't feel for weeks and I still had be a parent. he has never and I don't know honestly know how to unless I instructed him how to make an bottle. If he ever wanted to do separate time has none of the necessities such as an car seat and I've told him I am not providing everything such as the car seat. Plain and simple it's illegal to have a child that young and little without an car seat.

I just filed for show cause hearing for child support because he's never paid an penny and is already $2,000.00 in debt. Should I file 2 in 1 and fight for soul custody and give time like her first year and present his involvement, relationship in her first year.... I debate this within myself more than not. I know the court tries to see what's best but is it best for a child to live a relationship that's so inconsistent and unstable? Why when I don't want to be a parent would I have if no, buts, etc about but the non-custodial it's an option

If you have any future questions/comments message me or comment....Idk, I'm new this!
I forgot to add, we agreed for sure, he'd at least see our baby on Tuesday's which is his day off. He has gone weeks to a month without seeing her; like if we didn't have the hospital visit he'll be at 2 weeks at least of not seeing her on his Tuesdays. So he's quickly becoming the dad he is to his years old child to his new baby girl
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
I forgot to add, we agreed for sure, he'd at least see our baby on Tuesday's which is his day off. He has gone weeks to a month without seeing her; like if we didn't have the hospital visit he'll be at 2 weeks at least of not seeing her on his Tuesdays. So he's quickly becoming the dad he is to his years old child to his new baby girl
Parenting time ("visitation" in old parlance) is a right, not an obligation. He can use his time or not.
 

CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
This is going to be length because I believe the more the better... to start, I'm from Michigan, Wayne County

I have an 4-5 month old. Me and her father are divorced; everything was set in place and finalized before she was born. I originally filed for soul custody with no parenting time and I'll go in depth why... Right now, our papers state I have full physical, joint legal and parenting time responsible. Which I have always have an open door policy as long as we are not on worse comes to worse terms. When her father and I talk on the phone which for the most part is daily, I put him on speaker and allow his time to speak to our baby girl. For a minute, he was trying to make a ritual to call her and say goodnight and he loves her daily but to good to be true that didn't last...

To start with her father, I understand that courts do their all to have both parties in the child's raising and I wouldn't have a problem with that if he father wanted to be a parent himself. He lives without mental illness and doesn't thrive to get better! Without having much thought into it, I can remember 3 suicidal thoughts incidents with him and when he's "depressed" he sleeps his days and nights away and will make someone else responsible for his child during his time. Which brings me to

In 2013, I entered his life with his only child at the time; she was 2 1/2. I took on this little girl from the start: in no time I was keeping her overnight while her dad worked an tattoo party, and as we became a little family his parenting time became mine. I woke up with this little girl, put her to bed, bought things to help her when we found out her weaknesses at parent teacher conferences, bought her the clothes she wore on the weekends, bought her whatever she needed such as OTC medication because her mom never gave us medication so our house looked like an children's OTC pharmacy, during mother's day, etc I'd be the one to take her out and encourage the relationship with her mother, I was the middle man/mediator between her ex and her mom. I DID ALL THE PAPERWORK FOR THE CASES IN CONCERN OF HIS CHILD AND WAS THE TRUE OTHER PARTY IN THEIR CASE AND WON EACH AND EVERY ONE PER PRO (that means I did w/o an attorney). This little girl loves her dad but has rarely a daddy/daughter relationship it was growing as I did all the work to encourage but as soon as he moved out when I left him, he hasn't had parenting time or his weekends, summer weeks, etc since which will be a year in February

Now to the child that's in our case, she was an 100% planned baby. He has not bought nothing since conception... he has medical, what for? He has never made an wellness or sick visit at the ped's. Our daughter was seen by two specialist: cardiologist and neurologist and has never went and has always been noticed in enough time. Our daughter, currently has RSV and has been at the hospital 3 times...he's made 2/3 with that said. First, I brought her in for GASPING air (didn't know at this point she had RSV) his arrival was 9-10 hours after being notified. Two, again....notified and hours later he's walking in (it was after 2 am when he walked in), third, called; said he'd work on a ride and let me know. Hours later...I call twice and the lazy, useless father he is, is sleeping calls me back hours later when I was discharging her and I'm sure to care he didn't feel well; sorry I don't! I didn't feel for weeks and I still had be a parent. he has never and I don't know honestly know how to unless I instructed him how to make an bottle. If he ever wanted to do separate time has none of the necessities such as an car seat and I've told him I am not providing everything such as the car seat. Plain and simple it's illegal to have a child that young and little without an car seat.

I just filed for show cause hearing for child support because he's never paid an penny and is already $2,000.00 in debt. Should I file 2 in 1 and fight for soul custody and give time like her first year and present his involvement, relationship in her first year.... I debate this within myself more than not. I know the court tries to see what's best but is it best for a child to live a relationship that's so inconsistent and unstable? Why when I don't want to be a parent would I have if no, buts, etc about but the non-custodial it's an option

If you have any future questions/comments message me or comment....Idk, I'm new this!
What exactly do you want to happen?

Sole custody won't affect Dad's rights to see his child. So what do you want?
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
This is going to be length because I believe the more the better... to start, I'm from Michigan, Wayne County

I have an 4-5 month old. Me and her father are divorced; everything was set in place and finalized before she was born. I originally filed for soul custody with no parenting time and I'll go in depth why... Right now, our papers state I have full physical, joint legal and parenting time responsible. Which I have always have an open door policy as long as we are not on worse comes to worse terms. When her father and I talk on the phone which for the most part is daily, I put him on speaker and allow his time to speak to our baby girl. For a minute, he was trying to make a ritual to call her and say goodnight and he loves her daily but to good to be true that didn't last...

To start with her father, I understand that courts do their all to have both parties in the child's raising and I wouldn't have a problem with that if he father wanted to be a parent himself. He lives without mental illness and doesn't thrive to get better! Without having much thought into it, I can remember 3 suicidal thoughts incidents with him and when he's "depressed" he sleeps his days and nights away and will make someone else responsible for his child during his time. Which brings me to

In 2013, I entered his life
All of that stuff you wrote is negated by the fact that you know him, married him, and had a child with him. You are in no place to complain.

An infant is not going to know, appreciate, or remember phone calls. This is silly and pointless.

ArieLily said:
with his only child at the time; she was 2 1/2. I took on this little girl from the start: in no time I was keeping her overnight while her dad worked an tattoo party, and as we became a little family his parenting time became mine. I woke up with this little girl, put her to bed, bought things to help her when we found out her weaknesses at parent teacher conferences, bought her the clothes she wore on the weekends, bought her whatever she needed such as OTC medication because her mom never gave us medication so our house looked like an children's OTC pharmacy, during mother's day, etc I'd be the one to take her out and encourage the relationship with her mother, I was the middle man/mediator between her ex and her mom.
None of that reality/fantasy gives you legal rights to that child.

ArieLily said:
I DID ALL THE PAPERWORK FOR THE CASES IN CONCERN OF HIS CHILD AND WAS THE TRUE OTHER PARTY IN THEIR CASE AND WON EACH AND EVERY ONE PER PRO
DON'T SHOUT, PLEASE.

What you did there was illegal.

ArieLily said:
(that means I did w/o an attorney).
That's not a brand-new fact for any of us.

ArieLily said:
This little girl loves her dad but has rarely a daddy/daughter relationship it was growing as I did all the work to encourage but as soon as he moved out when I left him, he hasn't had parenting time or his weekends, summer weeks, etc since which will be a year in February
So it was a big waste of time. And you knew what kind of father he is.

ArieLiky said:
Now to the child that's in our case, she was an 100% planned baby. He has not bought nothing since conception... he has medical, what for? He has never made an wellness or sick visit at the ped's. Our daughter was seen by two specialist: cardiologist and neurologist and has never went and has always been noticed in enough time. Our daughter, currently has RSV and has been at the hospital 3 times...he's made 2/3 with that said. First, I brought her in for GASPING air (didn't know at this point she had RSV) his arrival was 9-10 hours after being notified. Two, again....notified and hours later he's walking in (it was after 2 am when he walked in), third, called; said he'd work on a ride and let me know. Hours later...I call twice and the lazy, useless father he is, is sleeping calls me back hours later when I was discharging her and I'm sure to care he didn't feel well; sorry I don't! I didn't feel for weeks and I still had be a parent. he has never and I don't know honestly know how to unless I instructed him how to make an bottle. If he ever wanted to do separate time has none of the necessities such as an car seat and I've told him I am not providing everything such as the car seat. Plain and simple it's illegal to have a child that young and little without an car seat.

I just filed for show cause hearing for child support because he's never paid an penny and is already $2,000.00 in debt. Should I file 2 in 1 and fight for soul custody and give time like her first year and present his involvement, relationship in her first year.... I debate this within myself more than not. I know the court tries to see what's best but is it best for a child to live a relationship that's so inconsistent and unstable? Why when I don't want to be a parent would I have if no, buts, etc about but the non-custodial it's an option

If you have any future questions/comments message me or comment....Idk, I'm new this!
I think you have your mind made up.
 

CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
This baby is 5 months old. There isn't a court in the land going to restrict or modify parenting time for the reasons (those which I could find, anyway) given.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
1. The term is actually pro per, not per pro.

2. Only one entity has custody of your child's soul (assuming you're a believer), and that is not you.

3. Agree with the rest of the input.
 

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