Godparents, Weird situation.

[Uh-Oh]

Wa, My wife and I are Godparents to a 15 yr old boy and a 8 yr old girl. We have known them since birth. We have a boy and a girl exact same ages from our 20 year marriage. The issue is we want custody of the 2 other children which have been living with us for over a year. There parents are divorced and the dad owes her back child support. The reason we have custody is the mother went to prison for rape of a child outside of her household. She will be released this July as a sex offender. The father was living with them and left the same day she went to prison. Took his bed and boat, and the kids went to there aunts to live. The Offenders sister. That lasted a week before she dropped them off at our home. We went to the prison and the mother signed a notorized paper giving us permission to treat and act in her behalf. She had full custody before awful crime she committed. She wont have a prayer of raising the kids for a very longtime if ever. Last month the unemployed dad of 8years running shows up st our home and we have let him take them for a weekend here and there. He has no custody and is filling the childrens heads with how bad we are and that when he gets his little 10,000 settlement he is going to get a home and rescue them. He doesnt know that I have filled with support enforcement for the back support. My wife and I are no angels but have no arrest records. Have a 3500 sqft home and have plenty of funds to provide for them. Before us they lived in not so good apts, both were failing school, and the boy weighed 260 lbs and wore spikes and a green mohawk. He now is carrying a 3.75gpa, attends church on his own doing, clean cut and well dressed. Lost 100lbs and wants to attend a major university. He even showers daily now. They want to stay here and there mother agrees to this. The dad is mixing them up and has never been there for them. Can I tell the dad to get lost and stay away? He owes and doesnt have custody. I am afraid that if I run to CPS or a Judge they might put them in foster care. We want custody. They have no other family. Thank you,

 

[BelizeBreeze]

o.k. first issue.

You have no legal rights as godparents. Therefore, the paper mom signed in prison ONLY gives you the right to act on her behalf. Not custody of the children. Only a court can do that.

As for the father, how do you KNOW he has no rights? Again, only a court can take away parental rights.

The plain fact of this situation is that unless you can come back here and show that a court has taken dad's rights away, he can come and get his children any time he wishes and there's nothing you can do about it.

 

[Uh-Oh]

Thank You for your input. I do know the mother has sole custody. He had visitation rights every other weekend at best. He also has 460 q month in child support. Support enforcement has L&I pull this from his check once a month. He is on a claim again.The check is in his exwifes name which he is cashing. Thus not paying a court order. The money I could care less about. In this violation does it wave visitation? Where do I go in the morning. I am planning on being at the court house. Do I drop some bucks on a lawyer? Thanks again, What you wrote is pretty much what I thought. I am hoping he screwed it up though with keeping and cashing those checks so he can go fishing on us all daily.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank You for your input. I do know the mother has sole custody. He had visitation rights every other weekend at best. He also has 460 q month in child support. Support enforcement has L&I pull this from his check once a month. He is on a claim again.The check is in his exwifes name which he is cashing. Thus not paying a court order. The money I could care less about. In this violation does it wave visitation? Where do I go in the morning. I am planning on being at the court house. Do I drop some bucks on a lawyer? Thanks again, What you wrote is pretty much what I thought. I am hoping he screwed it up though with keeping and cashing those checks so he can go fishing on us all daily.

Then dad does have rights. NO it does not waive visitation. Visitation is completely separate from child support. If dad wants custody of the kids, unless you can prove him unfit, you WILL NOT get it. Dad can petition to change custody at any time -- especially since mom is a child rapist.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Contact the family court in the morning and they an direct you in the process of acquiring legal guardianship and support. Petition the court to appoint a GAL for the children, they will investigate and represent the children, there may be a charge for this but in this instance it may be paid for through the courts since you do not officially ave custody at this point. If dad owes arrears in child support, his settlement may be garnished, be sure to let the courts and cse know about these funds. I'm not sure what these checks are that he is cashing?

 

[stealth2]

You have no legal right to keep the children from their FATHER. You don't get to keep other people's children just because you decide you have more to offer them.

 

[Uh-Oh]

Thank you, He has never raised these kids nor does he want to now. I just want some kind of custodial rights that can at least make things go through supervision. Also he is unfit. He left a 13 and 6 year old knowing the mother was going. We called the aunt who went to the vacant apt and picked them up. He told us all afew months later when he showed up that he figured we would go by and check. They lived 80 miles from us. I also do know that I can financially back ongoing court issues I know that he wont dedicate his time too. I dont want this though just the ability to say hold on here we have to get a second party (Judge) approval. No knee jerk. The children have made tremendous progress.

 

[stealth2]

Which part of YOU HAVE NO LEGAL RIGHTS TO THE KIDS is difficult to understand? He can pick them up today and not return them to you and you can do SQUAT about it. And if you try to keep him from taking them, he can call teh cops who will tell you that you have no choice.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

and mommy, until her rights are terminated or suspended by the court, can do the same.

 

[stealth2]

and mommy, until her rights are terminated or suspended by the court, can do the same.

Well, I figure she may have trouble doing that unless someone smuggles her a file.

 

[wildncrazy]

youre playing with fire

" he doesnt know i have file with support enforcement for the back support" you cant file for back support when you dont even have custody. he owes the mother back support, not you. and no, you have no right to tell dad to stay away, THESE ARE HIS KIDS, NOT YOURS! dad has the right to custody of his kids, and even if he is proven unfit, you have no standing to seek custody, you are not related to these children. i suggest you stop trying to interfere with dad's relationship with his kids, as other posters have stated, you have no rights to the kids whatsoever.

 

[MomTryin2Improv]

I have to agree with the other posters as well...as much as you care about these kids, they are not yours. Personally, I would think that the best thing to do is to try and give them the opportunity to have a good relationship with their father, but also let them know that you are still there to help them when they need you. It sounds like you have them on the right track, but keeping them (or attempting to keep them) away from their father does not guarantee that they will continue on that track.

Show them you love them and that they can come to you for any reason, even if they are with Dad.

 

[casa]

Wa, My wife and I are Godparents to a 15 yr old boy and a 8 yr old girl. We have known them since birth. We have a boy and a girl exact same ages from our 20 year marriage. The issue is we want custody of the 2 other children which have been living with us for over a year. There parents are divorced and the dad owes her back child support. The reason we have custody is the mother went to prison for rape of a child outside of her household. She will be released this July as a sex offender. The father was living with them and left the same day she went to prison. Took his bed and boat, and the kids went to there aunts to live. The Offenders sister. That lasted a week before she dropped them off at our home. We went to the prison and the mother signed a notorized paper giving us permission to treat and act in her behalf. She had full custody before awful crime she committed. She wont have a prayer of raising the kids for a very longtime if ever. Last month the unemployed dad of 8years running shows up st our home and we have let him take them for a weekend here and there. He has no custody and is filling the childrens heads with how bad we are and that when he gets his little 10,000 settlement he is going to get a home and rescue them. He doesnt know that I have filled with support enforcement for the back support. My wife and I are no angels but have no arrest records. Have a 3500 sqft home and have plenty of funds to provide for them. Before us they lived in not so good apts, both were failing school, and the boy weighed 260 lbs and wore spikes and a green mohawk. He now is carrying a 3.75gpa, attends church on his own doing, clean cut and well dressed. Lost 100lbs and wants to attend a major university. He even showers daily now. They want to stay here and there mother agrees to this. The dad is mixing them up and has never been there for them. Can I tell the dad to get lost and stay away? He owes and doesnt have custody. I am afraid that if I run to CPS or a Judge they might put them in foster care. We want custody. They have no other family. Thank you,

You absolutely need an attorney.

Dad does have Parental Rights since they were never terminated. (Custody & Parental Rights are different things). You~ though being 'Godparents', have NO legal Rights to the children unless/until a court orders/decides that. Godparents is a religious/personal designation, not a legal one.

The only reason the children's custody/guardianship hasn't changed is probably that no one ever notified authorities that the Dad took off. Leaving the children with a biological family member (aunt) is not abuse or neglect or abandonment. The fact that the aunt turned the children over to you only shows she is not a dedicated aunt- and has no impact on custody.

The father has Rights to the children & if he was inclined (& a suitable enough parent- doesn't take as much as you'd think in the eyes of the court)...could be sucessful in getting custody of the children legally awarded to him. This is because Mom is incarcerated and Dad's Rights have never been terminated.

However, as rmet noted above- You can certainly petition for temporary guardianship legally...and ask the courts appoint a GAL to determine what would be in the children's Best Interests. You would need to gather and document everything. ie; old vs. new report cards or medical records, etc.

If Dad is sending child support to CSE, then receiving Mom's mail & cashing those checks...that is fraud. Contact an attorney before you report it, because it may open up a can of worms you are not ready to handle re; guardianship/GAL/custody etc. Since the money doesn't matter- don't make that a priority. Just get to an attorney.

 

[casa]

And...has anyone taken these children to counseling or evaluation? It's possible these children were abused as well- since their Mom is a child sex offender. It's also suspicious that Dad bolted right when Mom got arrested.

I'd enroll these kids in counseling regardless- If there are issues, they can be addressed, and if there isn't you'll have a professional's opinion (if/when it goes to court) re; how well the children are doing in your home.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

And...has anyone taken these children to counseling or evaluation? It's possible these children were abused as well- since their Mom is a child sex offender. It's also suspicious that Dad bolted right when Mom got arrested.

I'd enroll these kids in counseling regardless- If there are issues, they can be addressed, and if there isn't you'll have a professional's opinion (if/when it goes to court) re; how well the children are doing in your home.

The godparent has no legal authority to consent to medial treatment. Treating such a child in this situation can get the license of the therapist yanked.