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Grandmother visitation court ordered rights

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kltgrandmother

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? SC

I have a 3 year old granddaughter that lived with me a year after she was born. Her mother was in and out. My son is her father who also, at that time, was in an out. I took both to court for emergency custody because the mother took her from our home and moved her in and out of different homes. She kept lice and when she worked, which was rarely, she would let anybody watch her. Once she let a strange man keep her in a hotel room, by his self, while she worked. I was very upset. The courts granted the mother temporary custody with DSS involvement and I got weekend visitation rights. Of course, she moved in with her father, got a job at a pancake house, and was doing great for 45 days. When the DSS worker closed the case, she went right back to her old ways. This is just the beginning but my question is this; last week I never heard from my granddaughter or her mother. This Friday when I went to pick up my granddaughter she was no where to be found - neither of them. My granddaughter's daddy has paid child support and has been very attached to her. I called him and he came over and we went searching. Found out that the mother was in jail on 2 bench warrants and will not go before a judge until September 5, 2006. She gave custody to her mother, who knows my phone number, but she does not have a phone and has moved. I don't know where she is. Does this mean she is in contempt for not letting me see my granddaughter while she is in jail? I'm very concerned because the other grandmother is on morphine and has lots of mental and physical problems. What should I do?
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
kltgrandmother said:
What is the name of your state? SC

I have a 3 year old granddaughter that lived with me a year after she was born. Her mother was in and out. My son is her father who also, at that time, was in an out. I took both to court for emergency custody because the mother took her from our home and moved her in and out of different homes. She kept lice and when she worked, which was rarely, she would let anybody watch her. Once she let a strange man keep her in a hotel room, by his self, while she worked. I was very upset. The courts granted the mother temporary custody with DSS involvement and I got weekend visitation rights. Of course, she moved in with her father, got a job at a pancake house, and was doing great for 45 days. When the DSS worker closed the case, she went right back to her old ways. This is just the beginning but my question is this; last week I never heard from my granddaughter or her mother. This Friday when I went to pick up my granddaughter she was no where to be found - neither of them. My granddaughter's daddy has paid child support and has been very attached to her. I called him and he came over and we went searching. Found out that the mother was in jail on 2 bench warrants and will not go before a judge until September 5, 2006. She gave custody to her mother, who knows my phone number, but she does not have a phone and has moved. I don't know where she is. Does this mean she is in contempt for not letting me see my granddaughter while she is in jail? I'm very concerned because the other grandmother is on morphine and has lots of mental and physical problems. What should I do?
What is the deal with your son? In all honestly, he is the one who has the better chance of taking any action in this situation.

If mom is in jail she can't be held in contempt for denying your visits. She has no control over that because she is in jail....and contempt for denying grandparent visitation won't change the child's custody.

Unless your son's parental rights have been severely limited or terminated he is the one who needs to be taking action right now.
 

kltgrandmother

Junior Member
Grandmother visitation - that's what I was afraid of

Thank you for your quick response. I was afraid that the mother knew she did not have to let us see our sweetheart while she was in jail becuase she has always complied to visitation - she didn't like it but she did it. But does she know how much it hurts her daughter - to see her be arrested and now not seeing or knowing what happened to her daddy and grandma. Her daddy has an appointment with a lawyer on Thursday morning. What's the chance of a father getting custody? He is worried because he is not working due to an air condition unit falling on his head at work and is out on workman's comp. He has been out for 2 months and has not started getting any checks yet. He does have a lawyer looking into this matter now.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
kltgrandmother said:
Thank you for your quick response. I was afraid that the mother knew she did not have to let us see our sweetheart while she was in jail becuase she has always complied to visitation - she didn't like it but she did it. But does she know how much it hurts her daughter - to see her be arrested and now not seeing or knowing what happened to her daddy and grandma. Her daddy has an appointment with a lawyer on Thursday morning. What's the chance of a father getting custody? He is worried because he is not working due to an air condition unit falling on his head at work and is out on workman's comp. He has been out for 2 months and has not started getting any checks yet. He does have a lawyer looking into this matter now.
Then he needs to get his advice from the attorney.

Normally a father could easily get temporary custody in this sort of situation, on an emergency basis. However, we really don't have enough facts here. The fact that you officially have visitation rights rather than dad, indicates that this may not be a "normal" situation.

His unemployment and his injury (assuming no mental effects from the injury) should be irrelevant, however the fact that you don't even know where grandma lives is going to complicate matters.
 

kltgrandmother

Junior Member
Grandmother visitation questions continue

Our lawyer's appointment has been rescheduled from tomorrow until next Wednesday due to unforseen circumstances. We did find out the phone number and now the address of where the other grandmother is living. Supposedly, my granddaughter is there. My question is; if I confront her with my visitation orders, will she have to let me have visitation? I thought about calling but afraid she may move her somewhere else. I got my information from this other grandmother's soon to be daughter-in-law. She feels that I need to be with her since she has had contact with me every week since she was born and the other grandmother is not healthy.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Again, I will repeat, your son needs to take action instead of you. Your son's rights are much stronger than yours (assuming that your son has rights)...and warning the other grandma in advance could be a tactical error.

The other grandma somehow does have custody at this point, she isn't a party to your gpv case therefore she isn't bound by your case. Your rights are statuatory...your son's are constitutional...he needs to MOVE on this case.
 

kltgrandmother

Junior Member
Grandmother thanks you for your advice

The father is very much in the picture and is planning on pursuing custody. Again, thank you for your quick response and advice. I'll check back with you next week after meeting with his lawyer.
 

kltgrandmother

Junior Member
Grandmother visitation continued

My son wants me to ask a question. His lawyer was able to see him this past Friday. He is going back Monday morning at 9:00 to sign rest of papers. His lawyer to going for an emergency hearing. His question is; "What are his chances of getting custody?" The mother has been arrested twice for bad checks and this last time for DUS, failed to turn in driver's license, and providing false information to a police officer. She has moved in and out of mother's, father's, brother's, friends, and boyfriend mother's homes with his daughter in the last two years it's hard to keep up with them. When I, grandmother, get her every Friday for visitation she has to be treated for lice and has flea bites (some kind of bites) all over her. I have seen bruises on the mother's face, side and head several times and she has confessed to me that her boyfriend or his sister did this to her. My son and I have called DSS several times but nothing was done. She has not held a job longer than a couple of months and I've seen no food in their refrig (which i took her to buy food and offered to take her and granddaughter in or take them to get food stamps several times-she declined). We still have not had any contact with our sweatheart since 7/30/06. The last we heard, she is with her other grandmother (who is on morphine and mentally and physically not able to watch her and has been arrested for hitting her daugther) and she lives with her boyfriend.

My son asked his lawyer what chance did he have and the lawyer told him he had the right to custody of his daughter. The reason my son did not fight for custody in the beginning was he had just lost his job and has been told by several people that unless you prove that the mother does drugs or puts child in danger of being abused he would not have a chance to get her. One father told him he spent $35,000.00 and it took 9 years to get his daughter. He's had a job now over a year but on workman's comp.
 
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stealth2

Under the Radar Member
No one can give you a better answer than an attorney familiar with all the details and the parties involved.

The best I can tell you is that a custody fight is expensive. I paid ~20k, and we didn't even go to court. My legal fees were another ~20k for a CS modification (although the ex was ordered to pay the bulk of it). When it comes to kids and courts - it's never cheap.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
stealth2 said:
No one can give you a better answer than an attorney familiar with all the details and the parties involved.

The best I can tell you is that a custody fight is expensive. I paid ~20k, and we didn't even go to court. My legal fees were another ~20k for a CS modification (although the ex was ordered to pay the bulk of it). When it comes to kids and courts - it's never cheap.
Well...mom's in jail at the moment, therefore he should be able to get emergency, temporary custody without spending big bucks. Then depending on what happens with mom that temporary custody could become long term, and then it would be mom who would have to prove a change in circumstance.
 

kltgrandmother

Junior Member
Grandmother court continued

My son got immediate custody until August 29. We will return to court then for a continuance emergency hearing. The judge wanted to be fair and is giving the mother a chance to get an attorney. We took our little girl to the doctor who documented her head was full of lice and lice eggs other than that, she is in good health. The mother got out of jail this past Friday. She is back with her father who is getting her an attorney. He helped her last time and the mother got temp custody. As soon as the case was closed by DSS (45 days) the mother went right back to the boyfriend (who she admits was doing drugs), lost her job, moved from one place to another, and still living with lice. Because it will be contested, my son's lawyer will be asking for a guardian ad litem. My question is knowing the mother is with her daddy again, being on her best behavior, trying to get a job, and the child is a girl, what are the chances our little one will be awarded to the mother again?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
kltgrandmother said:
My son got immediate custody until August 29. We will return to court then for a continuance emergency hearing. The judge wanted to be fair and is giving the mother a chance to get an attorney. We took our little girl to the doctor who documented her head was full of lice and lice eggs other than that, she is in good health. The mother got out of jail this past Friday. She is back with her father who is getting her an attorney. He helped her last time and the mother got temp custody. As soon as the case was closed by DSS (45 days) the mother went right back to the boyfriend (who she admits was doing drugs), lost her job, moved from one place to another, and still living with lice. Because it will be contested, my son's lawyer will be asking for a guardian ad litem. My question is knowing the mother is with her daddy again, being on her best behavior, trying to get a job, and the child is a girl, what are the chances our little one will be awarded to the mother again?
Its honestly impossible to say one way or the other. The judge saw enough of an emergency to give dad temporary custody, so that is a good sign. However, nothing that you have on mom is a "slam dunk" for dad....unless mom gets jail time for her arrests.

I agree that mom is a poor parent, and dad may win in the end, but I can't guarantee that the judge won't give the child back to mom (with proper visitation for your son) pending the outcome of the case.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
kltgrandmother said:
My son got immediate custody until August 29. We will return to court then for a continuance emergency hearing. The judge wanted to be fair and is giving the mother a chance to get an attorney. We took our little girl to the doctor who documented her head was full of lice and lice eggs other than that, she is in good health. The mother got out of jail this past Friday. She is back with her father who is getting her an attorney. He helped her last time and the mother got temp custody. As soon as the case was closed by DSS (45 days) the mother went right back to the boyfriend (who she admits was doing drugs), lost her job, moved from one place to another, and still living with lice. Because it will be contested, my son's lawyer will be asking for a guardian ad litem. My question is knowing the mother is with her daddy again, being on her best behavior, trying to get a job, and the child is a girl, what are the chances our little one will be awarded to the mother again?
I would lose the bolded language forthwith, however. As much as you love the child, she is NOT your little girl and refering to her in that manner may well annoy the judge to no end.
 

kltgrandmother

Junior Member
Thank you

Thank you for your response. I agree with you about the "our little girl". It's just that I did not want to say her name and this is what came to mind. I will refrain from using this phrase. Again, thank you.
 

fairisfair

Senior Member
kltgrandmother said:
Thank you for your response. I agree with you about the "our little girl". It's just that I did not want to say her name and this is what came to mind. I will refrain from using this phrase. Again, thank you.
then you might want to edit your posts, because I think you already said her name.
 

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