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  1. #1
    rhansen0912 is offline Junior Member
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    Grandparents vs Father for custody

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Iowa

    Hello,

    My Ex-Wife has been the primary caregiver and has legal custody of our 13 year old daughter and 12 year old son. I do have visitation rights every two weeks.

    Very recently, she (my ex-wife) attempted suicide and as such I'd like to have them live with me instead.

    I am stably employed and have faithfully paid my child support the entire time. I can also provide adequate living space for them as well. However, I also live 90 miles away, meaning they'd be taken out of their current environment. Despite that, I have been actively part of their life ever since I had to move away.

    Also, their grandparents, who do live in the same area, are interested in taking care of them, who can also provide adequately for them.

    No custody motions have been taken so far, so custody is still with my ex-wife.

    Here are the questions I have:

    - First, how strong of a case would there be for me, or their grandparents, to obtain custody rights (assuming she doesn't relinquish them)?

    - Is it possible for her to voluntarily relinquish custody to her parents over me?

    - How would it work if both me and the grandparents vie for custody rights at the same time? How strong of a case would either side (me vs grandparents) have in a situation like this?


    As to why I'd want to have them over their grandparents, it's because I believe my children should be with their stable parent and that while changing schools and making new friends might be difficult, I think a fresh start away from that environment is the best thing for them.

    Thanks in advance for any replies.
  2. #2
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rhansen0912 View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Iowa

    Hello,

    My Ex-Wife has been the primary caregiver and has legal custody of our 13 year old daughter and 12 year old son. I do have visitation rights every two weeks.

    Very recently, she (my ex-wife) attempted suicide and as such I'd like to have them live with me instead.

    I am stably employed and have faithfully paid my child support the entire time. I can also provide adequate living space for them as well. However, I also live 90 miles away, meaning they'd be taken out of their current environment. Despite that, I have been actively part of their life ever since I had to move away.

    Also, their grandparents, who do live in the same area, are interested in taking care of them, who can also provide adequately for them.

    No custody motions have been taken so far, so custody is still with my ex-wife.

    Here are the questions I have:

    - First, how strong of a case would there be for me, or their grandparents, to obtain custody rights (assuming she doesn't relinquish them)?

    - Is it possible for her to voluntarily relinquish custody to her parents over me?

    - How would it work if both me and the grandparents vie for custody rights at the same time? How strong of a case would either side (me vs grandparents) have in a situation like this?


    As to why I'd want to have them over their grandparents, it's because I believe my children should be with their stable parent and that while changing schools and making new friends might be difficult, I think a fresh start away from that environment is the best thing for them.

    Thanks in advance for any replies.
    Unless the grandparents can prove you unfit, you will triumph over them in a custody battle. When did she attempt suicide? What did you do THEN regarding your children? Why do you want custody NOW?
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  3. #3
    rhansen0912 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
    Unless the grandparents can prove you unfit, you will triumph over them in a custody battle. When did she attempt suicide? What did you do THEN regarding your children? Why do you want custody NOW?
    When I say very recently, we're talking a couple days ago, so the situation is still fresh. They're currently with their grandma in the interim while the "dust settles" so to speak. I'm asking so I have an idea what I might be up against moving forward.
  4. #4
    ecmst12 is offline Senior Member
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    Where is mom? Is she hospitalized? Is she expected to be discharged soon? If the situation is temporary and she is getting treatment and will be home and healthy soon, then by the time you would get to court the whole matter would be moot.
  5. #5
    rhansen0912 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ecmst12 View Post
    Where is mom? Is she hospitalized? Is she expected to be discharged soon? If the situation is temporary and she is getting treatment and will be home and healthy soon, then by the time you would get to court the whole matter would be moot.
    Would you care to elaborate on that last point please? She's in the hospital now, but is expected to be discharged in a couple days.
  6. #6
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rhansen0912 View Post
    Would you care to elaborate on that last point please? She's in the hospital now, but is expected to be discharged in a couple days.
    if mom can prove she is attending counseling, taking meds prescribed to her, taking precautions, having a safety plan, and following all doctor recommendations, it is quite possible mom may retain cutody. despite this incident.
  7. #7
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Isis1 View Post
    if mom can prove she is attending counseling, taking meds prescribed to her, taking precautions, having a safety plan, and following all doctor recommendations, it is quite possible mom may retain cutody. despite this incident.


    In fact, I'd say it's more than likely that Mom will retain custody if she does "all the right things".
  8. #8
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Proserpina View Post
    In fact, I'd say it's more than likely that Mom will retain custody if she does "all the right things".
    For OP's benefit, the fact that Mom attempted suicide is not necessarily grounds for her to lose custody. You would need to show that she's unfit AS A PARENT and/or a danger to the child(ren). That's not easy to do, but you should consult with an attorney if you think that the kids really are in danger with her.

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