grandson

[odis64]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

My son is going to join the Air Force and was told that in order to do so he would have to sign over full custody to his own son's mom. I am wondering if he can sign his half of custody over to me, his son's grandmother?

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

My son is going to join the Air Force and was told that in order to do so he would have to sign over full custody to his own son's mom. I am wondering if he can sign his half of custody over to me, his son's grandmother?

No, you have no inherent rights to his child. The child's mother does.

 

[InfantCustody]

I am sure one of the seniors will correct me if I am wrong, but as far as I know custody is not "transferrable." The child has two parents...one Mother and one Father. He can't designate someone else to have his half of custody. I would hope Mom would still let you see the child while Dad is unavailable, but you can't just pass off custody because you aren't using it.

Will Dad still be able to see the child? Is he going to set up an alternate visitation plan? I believe he could still have joint LEGAL custody...just not physical custody.

 

[liandrajade]

Whats the story? Does Dad have primary legal or physical custody? Were they married, how old is kiddo? There are a million questions that need to be answered.

Better yet, have dad come here and type up his court orders exactly.

In a nutshell, NO, dad cannot sign custody over to you, in order for that to happen either mom and dad would have to AGREE to giving you some form of legal guardianship or custody or you would have to prove BOTH mom and your son unfit parents.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

My son is going to join the Air Force and was told that in order to do so he would have to sign over full custody to his own son's mom. I am wondering if he can sign his half of custody over to me, his son's grandmother?

Dad does NOT have to sign over full custody when he is deployed. Regardless of Dad's custodial situation, Mom can keep the child (unless she's unfit) while he's gone without him signing over custody.

And, no, he can not simply transfer his custody to you. Nor should he in most cases. Parents have legal rights to take care of their kids. Grandparents don't.

Have him post his questions himself since you are not a party to anything.

 

[LdiJ]

Dad does NOT have to sign over full custody when he is deployed. Regardless of Dad's custodial situation, Mom can keep the child (unless she's unfit) while he's gone without him signing over custody.

And, no, he can not simply transfer his custody to you. Nor should he in most cases. Parents have legal rights to take care of their kids. Grandparents don't.

Have him post his questions himself since you are not a party to anything.

Misto, we have had a LOT of people come on these forums and state that they had to turn over custody of their child to someone else before they would be allowed to enlist in the armed services. Not just a handful of people, but lots of them.

It has been stated that if you are unmarried, and have custody of a child, you cannot enlist.

I have no first hand knowledge of this but with so many people stating that, I have to assume that its true or at least true in some instances.

 

[mistoffolees]

Misto, we have had a LOT of people come on these forums and state that they had to turn over custody of their child to someone else before they would be allowed to enlist in the armed services. Not just a handful of people, but lots of them.

It has been stated that if you are unmarried, and have custody of a child, you cannot enlist.

I have no first hand knowledge of this but with so many people stating that, I have to assume that its true or at least true in some instances.

Or, far, far more likely, they misunderstand the situation or misrepresent it for their own purposes.

A deployed person can have legal custody, so there's clearly no reason for that to change.

If they're deployed overseas, there are laws to protect them.

It is possible that physical custody is changed in some cases, but it doesn't HAVE to be without a court order.

 

[ecmst12]

He can not join the military full time if he has primary physical custody. He can (and should) maintain joint legal custody as well as reasonable visitation depending on where he is at any given time. In SOME states, there are laws allowing other family members to exercise the military member's visitation time while that parent is deployed, but that only applies to time that would be court ordered as that parent's visitation time - so every other weekend, or a week in the summer, or whatever the court order says - and not all states allow this. However that is NOT the same as custody (you will never be allowed to make decisions for the child) and it will not be primary placement, and it would have to make sense given the distance between you, mom, and dad's primary station. If dad lives near mom and has every other weekend visitation, but you live 300 miles away, it would not make sense for you to make the children travel that far, that often. All parties need to keep the best interests of the children in mind at all times.

 

[LdiJ]

He can not join the military full time if he has primary physical custody. He can (and should) maintain joint legal custody as well as reasonable visitation depending on where he is at any given time. In SOME states, there are laws allowing other family members to exercise the military member's visitation time while that parent is deployed, but that only applies to time that would be court ordered as that parent's visitation time - so every other weekend, or a week in the summer, or whatever the court order says - and not all states allow this. However that is NOT the same as custody (you will never be allowed to make decisions for the child) and it will not be primary placement, and it would have to make sense given the distance between you, mom, and dad's primary station. If dad lives near mom and has every other weekend visitation, but you live 300 miles away, it would not make sense for you to make the children travel that far, that often. All parties need to keep the best interests of the children in mind at all times.

What if its true 50/50 custody?..legal and physical?...because that sounds like what it might be. Would have have to relinquish the 50/50 physical custody?

Obviously he would not be able to exercise a 50/50 timeshare during boot camp or deployments, but if he were stationed in the same community as mom he could exercise 50/50 when not deployed.

I doubt that even in the states that allow visitation to be transferred to other family members, that a 50/50 timeshare would be honored. That would not make sense for the child.

 

[Proserpina]

Or, far, far more likely, they misunderstand the situation or misrepresent it for their own purposes.

A deployed person can have legal custody, so there's clearly no reason for that to change.

If they're deployed overseas, there are laws to protect them.

It is possible that physical custody is changed in some cases, but it doesn't HAVE to be without a court order.

An already-enlisted person with custody (for example, they divorced after they joined up) can indeed retain custody...but a single parent with full custody cannot newly enlist in any service other than NG or Reserves without transferring custody. That's the difference.

I've posted this great link before, but here it is again for reference.

http://www.abanet.org/family/military/silent/singleparent_enlist.pdf

(It explains it far better than I was obviously able! )

 

[LdiJ]

An already-enlisted person with custody (for example, they divorced after they joined up) can indeed retain custody...but a single parent with full custody cannot newly enlist in any service other than NG or Reserves without transferring custody. That's the difference.

I've posted this great link before, but here it is again for reference.

http://www.abanet.org/family/military/silent/singleparent_enlist.pdf

(It explains it far better than I was obviously able! )

That link answered my question. Someone with joint physical custody cannot enlist in the Air Force....but can with joint legal custody.

So, if dad has joint physical custody he is going to have to relinquish the physical custody to mom if he wants to enlist in the Air Force.

 

[Proserpina]

That link answered my question. Someone with joint physical custody cannot enlist in the Air Force....but can with joint legal custody.

So, if dad has joint physical custody he is going to have to relinquish the physical custody to mom if he wants to enlist in the Air Force.

Exactly.

Posters should also note that transferring custody is meant to be permanent - not a temporary fix while they're either training or deployed.

It's a very serious decision to make and unfortunately many people make it without realizing the long-term implications.

 

[justalayman]

Or, far, far more likely, they misunderstand the situation or misrepresent it for their own purposes.

A deployed person can have legal custody, so there's clearly no reason for that to change.

If they're deployed overseas, there are laws to protect them.

It is possible that physical custody is changed in some cases, but it doesn't HAVE to be without a court order.

I got scolded pretty good on this. A parent cannot have physical custody of their child and join the armed services. Once they are in, things are different but to join, no children for single parents.

and a note: that is not meant to infer once you join, you simply undue the transfer. I was referring to situations that come about once they are in the service. They have a few different rules.