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  1. #1
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    Nov 2005
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    Unhappy Grounds for modification???

    What is the name of your state?utah

    I just got an email from my ex in Alaska. He wants to modify custody. Wouldn't there have to be a substantial change for him to do this? What would he really get? Up till now he has not exercised visitation (my son is 5). Now he wants to quit work and modify custody so he gets more times with our son. Utah code basically states what the visitation is when parents cannot agree. So wouldn't it be a waste of his time and money to try and modify? My son has always lived with me, never lived with his dad. Could he possibly gain something by modifying custody? I just can't see a judge changing anything. I hate that it that he continues to run my life and he is not a good person, an alcoholic and mentally unstable. Should I just let him try....anything I need to do? Still worried in Utah
  2. #2
    424Smudge is offline Member
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    is he trying to modify custody or visitation?
  3. #3
    seniorjudge is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mattyndavidsmom
    What is the name of your state?utah

    I just got an email from my ex in Alaska. He wants to modify custody. Wouldn't there have to be a substantial change for him to do this? What would he really get? Up till now he has not exercised visitation (my son is 5). Now he wants to quit work and modify custody so he gets more times with our son. Utah code basically states what the visitation is when parents cannot agree. So wouldn't it be a waste of his time and money to try and modify? My son has always lived with me, never lived with his dad. Could he possibly gain something by modifying custody? I just can't see a judge changing anything. I hate that it that he continues to run my life and he is not a good person, an alcoholic and mentally unstable. Should I just let him try....anything I need to do? Still worried in Utah
    [url]http://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=303216[/url]

    serial poster

    keep all your questions in one of your numerous other posts
    There are two rules for success:

    (1) Never tell everything you know.
  4. #4
    MominMass Guest
    It is my experience that anything can happen in Probate Court.

    There's really nothing to do until you hear from the court, and see what he wants. Don't respond to his e-mails unless he wants to exercise his current
    visitation rights.
  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    47

    Question custody

    He wants full custody now My son is 5 and he has never exercised his visitation rights, never. Now he thinks he can get full custody because I have a disability (meniere's disease) and I shouldn't be driving...putting my son in danger. I am legal with department of motor vehicles...they know I have meniere's. So wouldn't his chances be slim to none simply because for one, he doesn't even exercise his visitation and two, he has a past history of mental instability.

    Serial poster? I don't mean too...new to this. I won't start new posts.

    Also, what if I want to move to Alabama...I have sole custody and my custody papers don't say anything that I can't move. I am already out of state anyway. Can I do this without him trying something else? I am not trying to keep my son from his dad...but I do want what's best for him. Thanks!
  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    47

    emails

    My ex keeps emailing me and in his emails he "attempts" to make me look like I am not fostering a relationship for him and his son. Should I just ignore these emails, answer them reminding him how he is wrong or just do nothing and just make sure I do not interfere with my son's and his relationship? Is it my responsibility to ensure telephone contact?...my son is 5? It is not the responsibility of the non-custodial parent to initiate and keep the contact with their children? Will I look like the bad person if he tries for modification of custody? He rarely calls his son and then claims I am not fostering communication. He has never asked for visitation with the exception of telling my 5 year old that his mom needs to bring him to Alaska. Any answers are appreciated. I am getting so confused and worried. It's not that I am trying to keep my son away from his dad, it's just that he is abusive and an alcoholic and I don't feel that environment is good for my son. I can't afford get an attorney at this point. And I understand I need to just wait to see what my ex does but I don't want to be doing something that hurts the current custody arrangement or not doing something that maybe I should. I do encourage my son to call his dad when we haven't heard, which is usually what happens. But then when I don't have him call for a week....then I get a nasty email from my ex. When all he has to do is pick up the phone! I guess all i'm asking is for some guidance so I do the right thing for my son. He love's his dad and I respect that. I don't want to interfere with his dad's relationship or hinder it. But I feel that his dad is expecting me to do all the fostering while he sits back and waits for the phone calls or for me to bring his son to him in Alaska from Utah. Any answers? Thanks in advance.
  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    No replies :(

    No ideas for me
  8. #8
    betterthanher Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by mattyndavidsmom
    No ideas for me
    You were instructed to keep everything in one thread. That might be why.
  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    47

    I thought I did

    This is my only thread right now?
  10. #10
    Halls is offline Member
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    Oct 2005
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    Dallas, Texas
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    I know several people who have Meneires and have their kids. I myself have been dizzy for 2 years from chronic sinusitis and I have both custody to my oldest son and his father knows I am dizzy and there is no way based on that he could get custody. I drive just fine, but even if I didn't that wouldn't be a reason for custody to change. Lots of people have illnesses and can take care of their kids just fine. I've been able to endure lots of things all the while being ill. It is just part of life!
  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    47

    thank you

    Thanks for the reply. I thought it was a bit out too since I have had it for over 20 years and he gave up custody knowing I have a disability. So why would he all of a sudden be concerned? Just to harass me I'm just gonna stop worrying and be a good mom. I don't see how the courts could change custody when I have had my son from birth and his dad has NEVER been part of his life other then an occasional phone call. If his son was important, he would be exercising his visitation.

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