Guardian Ad Litem Biased/Wrong?

[jowen82]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

Yes I'm trying to figure out if my Guardian Ad Litem is being biased in my case or not. I just recently had her appointed to my case for the 2nd time this year and in her report she sounds biased in my opinion and i'm looking for input from others on this. Also if there is anything that I can fight (report wording and such) let me know as that would be most helpful.

 GAL report filed 4/21/11
 DCS records
 School records
 Text and Facebook printouts

Summary and Recommendations:
Based on the information provided as well as the history of this case this GAL does not
see any significant change in circumstances which would warrant a modification to the
current order of child custody.
This GAL has concerns about either of the parents being able to meet all of the needs that
the children will have as they grow.
This GAL finds it concerning when a single woman has five children and no means or
plan to better her life or the life of the children.
This GAL finds it equally concerning when a man who is over thirty years old fails to
maintain employment for several years and seems to think a once a year contribution to
the support of his children at tax time is sufficient.
While this GAL is not convinced that a modification of custody from one parent to the
other parent is going to be of huge benefit to the children at this time it is likely that if
something drastic doesn’t change the children could end up in foster care.
It is the opinion of this GAL that both parties need to drop their focus on what they
perceive as the other parents short comings and start making their own life changes.
GAL is making the following recommendations to the court in an effort to protect the
best interest of the minor children:
1) There should be NO CHANGE to the current order of child custody.
2) **Mothers Name** should have thirty days to file for government subsidized
housing so that her children can be provided with a more appropriate home.
3) **Mothers Name** should also look into possible childcare assistance so she can go to
work.
4) **Fathers Name** should be given a specific amount of time to secure employment
and start making regular child support payments.
5) Both parties should have the right to have open communication with the
schools and have input on how to help the children become more successful.
6) If the school recommends in writing to both parents that either child would
benefit academically by attending any supportive services such as the New
Dawn program or summer school the children must be enrolled and the
parents must figure out a way to get them to and from all scheduled sessions.
GAL notes that a parent who isn’t offering to provide such transportation need
not complain that the other failed to make it happen. In other words, the 9
parents MUST work together to ensure the children are able to get whatever
help is available to them.
7) The children must attend school regularly to have a chance at being
successful.
8) This GAL notes for the parties that unless and until they are holding up to
their end of the parenting responsibility this GAL will not recommend any
changes to the current orders.
Respectfully submitted to the court on September 23rd in the year 2014.



*************************************************
My thoughts:
1) On this statement:
"This GAL finds it concerning when a single woman has five children and no means or
plan to better her life or the life of the children."

Wouldn't that be admission that the mother does NOT have the best interest for her children? (Isn't that what a GAL is supposed to do, find the best interest for the children?)

2) On this statement:
"While this GAL is not convinced that a modification of custody from one parent to the
other parent is going to be of huge benefit to the children at this time it is likely that if
something drastic doesn’t change the children could end up in foster care."

That's what i'm asking for is a drastic change. I'm asking for a change of custody to where I've got full custody.

3) What is not in this report. I've got 2 CPS reports that were done on their mother. In the reports it states that their mother was offered support/services to better her situation. She never has done anything about it. So this report saying she needs to file for housing and childcare assistance bothers me. This to me is biased big time.

4) What is not in this report. One of the CPS reports that I have is where my son (age 5 at the time) took his bike and rode alone 0.6 miles away from her house. She did not notify the police of his absence. He was found by a lady that called the police and the police had to bring him to the school to find out who he was. My son was missing for almost 1 hour and not a single police report was filed by her. (GAL has these reports)


Parent Backgrounds:

Father (Myself)
This part may bother some people but it is my lifestyle choice. I am a househusband (Stay at home dad). I take care of the home and work with my kids daily. (I've got 2 other kids living at home.) The children living at home with me are Honor Roll Students and are on Perfect Attendance. My wife works to financially support the family as I stay home due to costs of childcare. Both my wife and I have some college under our belts but neither of us graduated. We have moved 2 times in the past 7 years. I wanted both my children in preschool at the earliest age possible due to their mothers education and she declined. None of my children (living with me) have had lice.

Mother
She dropped out of school in 8th grade and not pursued to get a GED. She has moved 6 times in the past 5 years. 3 out of 5 of her children (2 of which were mine) were asked to take summer school last year and she declined as she stated that the kids need to be kids during the summer (I've got school records with my children's bad grades and attendance). She withdrew my son only 2 months into preschool. My daughter has had lice over 7 times according to their school in the past 2 years. She has withheld my children from me in the past for a total of 4 weeks. She recently lived in a trailer without power with her boyfriend and 5 children for over 2 weeks.


I hope somebody can help me in this situation. I've been fighting for my kids for 7 years now and this is the worst it's ever been.

Thank you for your time.

 

[jowen82]

Fathers Assessment

Fathers Assessment

Here is the top of that report

Assessment:
**Fathers Name** – Father
**Step-Mother** – Stepmother

GAL conducted a Home Study at the home of **Fathers Name** on 9/16/14.

**Fathers Name** reports that he and **Mothers Name** were involved in a relationship off and on for
about nine months. **Fathers Name** stated that the first child they have in common was from
basically a one night stand. **Fathers Name** stated that he learned of that child a few days prior to
her birth so he then tried to do what he felt was the right thing and began a relationship
with **Mothers Name**. **Fathers Name** stated that they just had too many differences but as a result they
now have two children in common.

**Fathers Name** reports that he and **Mothers Name** ended their relationship in January 2008 and have
lived separately since that time.

**Fathers Name** stated that **Mothers Name** has always been the primary physical custodian of the
children and he has had visitation.

**Fathers Name** reports that he gets the children every weekend during the school year and they
split the summer fifty-fifty.

**Fathers Name** reports that he has some concerns about **Mothers Name** as the primary custodian and is
asking for a modification of custody.

**Fathers Name** stated that one of his biggest concerns is education as **Daughters Name** was in the New
Dawn program because she was struggling but **Mothers Name** withdrew her as she had
transportation issues. **Fathers Name** stated that he later learned that the school would have
provided the transportation.

**Fathers Name** stated that since **Daughters Name** was taken out of the New Dawn program her grades have
dropped.

**Step-Mother** handed GAL a New Dawn registration form which has a place to choose bus or
pick up.

**Fathers Name** stated that both of the children have had major issues with attendance. **Fathers Name**
provided GAL with records he printed online.

**Fathers Name** stated that a lot of **Daughters Name**’s absences were due to head lice. **Fathers Name** stated that the
school nurse has had to send her home due to lice.

**Fathers Name** stated that **Sons Name** was in Headstart but **Mothers Name** quit taking him in December
2012. **Fathers Name** stated that this was again due to her inability to provide transportation
which the school would have done.

**Fathers Name** stated that he didn’t learn of the child being taken out of the program until after
the fact.

**Fathers Name** stated that **Mothers Name** does not communicate with him or keep him informed about
what is going on with the children.

**Fathers Name** provided GAL a copy of a Facebook conversation he had with **Mothers Name** about
him wanting to know how the children are doing in school.

**Fathers Name** stated that **Sons Name** has been in trouble at school for stealing school property.
**Step-Mother** stated that they have asked repeatedly to get the children’s book bags over the
weekends so they can monitor how the children are doing but **Mothers Name** will not usually
send it. **Step-Mother** provided GAL with some photo copies of homework logs that they were
able to make the few times that they did get the book bags.

**Fathers Name** provided GAL with copies of emails he has saved from his communication with
the school teachers.3

**Fathers Name** reports that he attended the parent/teacher conference for **Daughters Name** in October 2013
but he was unable to go to **Sons Name**’s due to scheduling difficulties. **Fathers Name** stated that he
has maintained contact with all of the teachers.

**Fathers Name** stated that the children attend West Noble Schools.

**Fathers Name** stated that another concern he has is **Mothers Name** moving in and out of her mother’s
residence.

**Fathers Name** provided GAL with a hand written list of **Mothers Name**’s past addresses. GAL notes
that the first few moves were prior to the last order of custody.

**Fathers Name** stated that he has had to call the Department of Child Services twice. **Fathers Name**
stated that on June 7, 2013 **Sons Name** took off on his bicycle and was found more than half a
mile from the home. **Fathers Name** stated that a woman saw him unsupervised and called the
police.

**Fathers Name** stated that he just recently called the Department of Child Services due to the
deplorable conditions of the trailer **Mothers Name** was living in. **Fathers Name** stated that **Mothers Name**
told him that she was living with her mother but the kids say they were staying at the
trailer.

**Fathers Name** stated that he has provided the GAL with two of three Department of Child
Service reports but the third will be coming from his attorney.

**Fathers Name** reports that this past Sunday **Mothers Name** and her boyfriend had to take one of
**Mothers Name**’s younger children to the hospital for a dog bight on his lip. **Fathers Name** stated that
this is the third time a child has been bit by a dog in **Mothers Name**’s care.

**Fathers Name** stated that his current wife used to be married to **Mothers Name**’s boyfriend. **Fathers Name**
stated that they were all kind of friends and they basically switched partners.

**Fathers Name** reports that he and **Step-Mother** have been involved for seven years and married for
five and a half years.

**Fathers Name** reports that have been living with **Step-Mother**’s parents for a little over a year. **Fathers Name**
stated that this is supposed to be temporary.

**Fathers Name** stated that the house that they were living in was foreclosed on. **Fathers Name** stated
that there was some sort of mix up with the taxes.

**Fathers Name** stated that he is not currently employed.

**Fathers Name** stated that his last place of employment was at Tenneco in Ligonier but it ended
in January 2014 as it was not a good fit for him so he quit. **Fathers Name** stated that he had
worked at Tenneco for one week.4

**Fathers Name** stated that he worked at Bosch from September 2012 through January 2013.

**Fathers Name** stated that he did not work throughout 2013 as they were going through
foreclosure on their home, bankruptcy and he was sick dealing with the stress of all of
that.

**Step-Mother** reports that she has worked at Mad Anthony’s in Angola for a year and a half as a
cook. **Step-Mother** advised that she works full time mostly first shift with one evening per
week.

**Fathers Name** stated that the household consists of him and **Step-Mother**, her two children ages 7 and
11, **Step-Mother**’s adult brother and her parent for a total of 9 people when the children are
there.

**Fathers Name** advised that he was charged with theft at 18, PI at 21 and possession of marijuana
when he was 24. **Fathers Name** stated that he is thirty-two years old and has not been in any
trouble since his daughter was born.

**Fathers Name** stated that he believes that he and his wife should be granted custody as they push
education.

**Fathers Name** stated that **Step-Mother**’s children are both on the honor roll and have
perfect attendance.

**Fathers Name** stated that he is ordered to pay child support but doesn’t as he doesn’t have the
funds.

**Fathers Name** stated that they pay a huge chunk out of their joint tax return every year.

**Fathers Name** stated that he has heard that the children are sleeping on hideaway couches now
as there are not enough bedrooms or beds for everyone at **Mothers Name**’s mother’s house.

**Step-Mother** reports that she, her brother and her mother all work and her dad is on disability.

**Fathers Name** stated that he is waiting to see how the custody case comes out before looking for
work.

GAL notes that four of the five adults in the home smoke while the fifth is on oxygen.

Although they report that they smoke outside this GAL could smell the smoke on her
own clothing long after leaving the residence.

**Step-Mother** stated that they provide more supervision for the children at their home.

**Fathers Name** stated that it was recommended that three of **Mothers Name**’s children attend summer
school but she wouldn’t send them as she said they need to be kids.

**Fathers Name** stated that he
was more than wiling to give up his time so the kids could go to school.

Observations at the home of **Fathers Name**

GAL observed the home to be a three bedroom house that appeared to be fairly heavily
cluttered on the main floor of the home.

GAL noted that there is a full basement which is set up like a separate home for **Fathers Name**
and **Step-Mother** and their children. GAL observed there to be room dividers to give the
children and adults separate space.

GAL notes that the girls share a room with two beds and the boys share a room with two
beds.

GAL observed there to be a large food supply as **Fathers Name** stated that they are receive food
stamps and he likes to stay stocked up.

The home appeared sufficient to meet the needs of the occupants.

 

[jowen82]

Mothers Assessment

Mothers Assessment

**Mothers Name** – Mother

GAL conducted a Home Study at the home of **Mothers Name** on 9/15/14.

**Mothers Name** reports that she and **Fathers Name** have two children in common and have lived
separately since approximately 2008.

**Mothers Name** reports that both children have lived with her since that time.

**Mothers Name** reports that she has three additional children ages 3, 4 and 8.

**Mothers Name** reports that she is the primary custodian of all five of her children.

**Mothers Name** reports that since the last GAL involvement in 2011 she has continued to hold
custody and **Fathers Name** has had visitation.

**Mothers Name** advised that **Fathers Name** gets the children every weekend from Friday through
Sunday and every other full week through the summer.

**Mothers Name** stated that from her perspective the current arrangement seems to be working
well.

**Mothers Name** reports that **Sons Name** goes to West Noble Primary School where he is in first
grade and **Daughters Name** goes to West Noble Elementary where she is in second grade.

**Mothers Name** stated that she believes that both children are doing fairly well in school as
**Daughters Name** was on the honor roll last year.

**Mothers Name** stated that she believes that **Fathers Name** is seeking custody of the children to better
his financial situation as he could claim the children on food stamps and not have to pay
child support.

**Mothers Name** stated that **Fathers Name** does exercise his visitation regularly but he never asks for
anything extra.

**Mothers Name** stated that since the last GAL report she has not been in any legal trouble.

**Mothers Name** stated that she did move out of her mother’s home for about five months but
her boyfriend Greg Carter lost his job so she had to move back into her mother’s
residence. **Mothers Name** stated that she just moved back into her mother’s home on August
19, 2014.

**Mothers Name** reports that she is not currently employed as it is difficult for her to find
childcare for the kids.

**Mothers Name** advised that she has not worked outside the home since 2005.

**Mothers Name** reports that she receives food stamps and Medicaid for the children but has not
received any child support for any of her children for approximately two years.

**Mothers Name** stated that her mom doesn’t charge her rent so that is a huge part of why she
stays with her.

**Mothers Name** reports that the household consists of her adult brother Terry Tackett, her adult
sister **Sister* and her two children, her mother **Grandmother*, her and her five
children.

**Mothers Name** stated that her brother is the only person who was not living in the home at the
time of the last GAL involvement.

**Mothers Name** stated that she has not applied for any government housing yet but she does
plan to.

**Mothers Name** stated that she has been investigated by the Department of Child Services a
couple of times but to the best of her knowledge nothing has been substantiated.

**Mothers Name** stated that she believes that **Fathers Name** has called them on her.

**Mothers Name** stated that one concern she would like noted is that **Daughters Name** told her that when
they are at their dad’s house the kids have to go outside while the adults get drunk and
show their private parts in the garage.

**Mothers Name** stated that she believes that there should be no change to the existing order of
custody and visitation.

**Mothers Name** reports that her sister **Sister** has been on probation for about a year for drug
related charges but she is not using at this time.

**Mothers Name** stated that **Sister** never used around the home.

**Mothers Name** reports that to the best of her knowledge no one else in the house has been in
any legal trouble.

Observations at the home of **Mothers Name**

GAL observed the home to be a four bedroom house that appeared to be a bit crowded
but sufficient to meet the needs of the occupants.

**Mothers Name** reports that the couch pulls out to a bed and they have an inflatable mattress for
her and her children in the living room.

GAL noted that there is a small food supply as **Mothers Name** reports that her food stamps are
pending since she just moved back into the residence a month ago.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

Yes I'm trying to figure out if my Guardian Ad Litem is being biased in my case or not. I just recently had her appointed to my case for the 2nd time this year and in her report she sounds biased in my opinion and i'm looking for input from others on this. Also if there is anything that I can fight (report wording and such) let me know as that would be most helpful.

 GAL report filed 4/21/11
 DCS records
 School records
 Text and Facebook printouts

Summary and Recommendations:
Based on the information provided as well as the history of this case this GAL does not
see any significant change in circumstances which would warrant a modification to the
current order of child custody.

Okay - sounds reasonable. The GAL has considered the information s/he had.

This GAL has concerns about either of the parents being able to meet all of the needs that
the children will have as they grow.
This GAL finds it concerning when a single woman has five children and no means or
plan to better her life or the life of the children.
This GAL finds it equally concerning when a man who is over thirty years old fails to
maintain employment for several years and seems to think a once a year contribution to
the support of his children at tax time is sufficient.
While this GAL is not convinced that a modification of custody from one parent to the
other parent is going to be of huge benefit to the children at this time it is likely that if
something drastic doesn’t change the children could end up in foster care.
It is the opinion of this GAL that both parties need to drop their focus on what they
perceive as the other parents short comings and start making their own life changes.
GAL is making the following recommendations to the court in an effort to protect the
best interest of the minor children:
1) There should be NO CHANGE to the current order of child custody.
2) **Mothers Name** should have thirty days to file for government subsidized
housing so that her children can be provided with a more appropriate home.
3) **Mothers Name** should also look into possible childcare assistance so she can go to
work.
4) **Fathers Name** should be given a specific amount of time to secure employment
and start making regular child support payments.
5) Both parties should have the right to have open communication with the
schools and have input on how to help the children become more successful.
6) If the school recommends in writing to both parents that either child would
benefit academically by attending any supportive services such as the New
Dawn program or summer school the children must be enrolled and the
parents must figure out a way to get them to and from all scheduled sessions.
GAL notes that a parent who isn’t offering to provide such transportation need
not complain that the other failed to make it happen. In other words, the 9
parents MUST work together to ensure the children are able to get whatever
help is available to them.
7) The children must attend school regularly to have a chance at being
successful.
8) This GAL notes for the parties that unless and until they are holding up to
their end of the parenting responsibility this GAL will not recommend any
changes to the current orders.
Respectfully submitted to the court on September 23rd in the year 2014.



*************************************************
My thoughts:
1) On this statement:
"This GAL finds it concerning when a single woman has five children and no means or
plan to better her life or the life of the children."

Wouldn't that be admission that the mother does NOT have the best interest for her children? (Isn't that what a GAL is supposed to do, find the best interest for the children?)

No, it's sharing a concern.

2) On this statement:
"While this GAL is not convinced that a modification of custody from one parent to the
other parent is going to be of huge benefit to the children at this time it is likely that if
something drastic doesn’t change the children could end up in foster care."

That's what i'm asking for is a drastic change. I'm asking for a change of custody to where I've got full custody.

I think you missed the point - the GAL is not convinced either of you are particularly fit. She's sharing her concern that a switch in custody wouldn't benefit the children.

3) What is not in this report. I've got 2 CPS reports that were done on their mother. In the reports it states that their mother was offered support/services to better her situation. She never has done anything about it. So this report saying she needs to file for housing and childcare assistance bothers me. This to me is biased big time.

Biased towards the children, yes.

4) What is not in this report. One of the CPS reports that I have is where my son (age 5 at the time) took his bike and rode alone 0.6 miles away from her house. She did not notify the police of his absence. He was found by a lady that called the police and the police had to bring him to the school to find out who he was. My son was missing for almost 1 hour and not a single police report was filed by her. (GAL has these reports)

No harm was done.

Parent Backgrounds:

Father (Myself)
This part may bother some people but it is my lifestyle choice. I am a househusband (Stay at home dad). I take care of the home and work with my kids daily. (I've got 2 other kids living at home.) The children living at home with me are Honor Roll Students and are on Perfect Attendance. My wife works to financially support the family as I stay home due to costs of childcare. Both my wife and I have some college under our belts but neither of us graduated. We have moved 2 times in the past 7 years. I wanted both my children in preschool at the earliest age possible due to their mothers education and she declined. None of my children (living with me) have had lice.

...and...this doesn't matter.

Mother
She dropped out of school in 8th grade and not pursued to get a GED. She has moved 6 times in the past 5 years. 3 out of 5 of her children (2 of which were mine) were asked to take summer school last year and she declined as she stated that the kids need to be kids during the summer (I've got school records with my children's bad grades and attendance). She withdrew my son only 2 months into preschool. My daughter has had lice over 7 times according to their school in the past 2 years. She has withheld my children from me in the past for a total of 4 weeks. She recently lived in a trailer without power with her boyfriend and 5 children for over 2 weeks.

I do think I know what's going on here...

I hope somebody can help me in this situation. I've been fighting for my kids for 7 years now and this is the worst it's ever been.

Thank you for your time.

Formatting issues aside, the GAL is basically saying that BOTH of have serious problems, and leaving them where they are will do less harm. It's actually pretty black and white; the GAL doesn't mess around in that report.

You've been fighting for 7 years? Why?

 

[jowen82]

Thank you for your speedy reply I appreciate it. I've been fighting for 7 years because of everything that has happened from the date we split.

We split in 2008 and I moved into a apartment and she was still living with her mother. I file for custody as I was more financially apt to support my children, I was declined and only given visitation (Every other week from Sunday to Sunday). Late 2008 bought a 5 bedroom house.

2009 Non-communication from their mother to me about the upbringing of my children and well being caused me to file for modification of custody, was denied.

2009 With the new home and better paying job I filed for modification of custody due to her still living at her mothers house and still no communication, was denied.

2010 I immediately pressed my concerns with education while my daughter was age 3 before she could go into preschool and thought it would benefit my daughter. She declined and said she needs to be a kid and doesn't need it. I file for modification of custody to get joint legal custody to help make decisions with education and was denied but 1 week before the court date she magically enrolled my daughter in school.

2010 Then my son gets old enough to go and she does enroll him but then takes him out only 2 months into it because she said she didn't have transportation when the school was 1mile away from her house and the school offered to pick him up. I filed for modification to try and establish joint custody again and was denied.

2011 GAL was appointed to our case due to my ex moving constantly and was denied.

2012 Filed for modification due to my ex withholding my children for 1 1/2 months for no reason. Was denied. Visitation changed to every weekend from Friday 4pm to Sunday 7pm and half the summer vacations and all school breaks.

2013 After being denied over and over again I sit on information this year. This is the year my son took off on his bike and left. I also didn't say not even a week later CPS was called on her again from a truck driver. My son apparently through rocks at it and damaged it. My daughter was sent home from school 5 times due to lice and her grades were failing. My sons grades were failing as well. Both barely brought their grades up before school year ended. This is the year the children were asked to take summer school and she declined due to she thinks kids should be kids during the summer.

2014 I am currently filing for modification for full custody. GAL was appointed. I'm filing due to last years school records (I have proof) and this years school records (failing, missed school, lice). I also have proof that from August 3rd through August 19th she lived in a trailer with no power with all 5 of her children. CPS was called and found it concerning of the state the trailer is in and how the children eat,drink,use bathroom. CPS did nothing. Now I get this report from the GAL and now i'm here.

 

[commentator]

Doesn't have anything better to do?

 

[jowen82]

I've also got text messages and Facebook messages from her saying if I want to know how to kids school is going I need to go talk to the school. (I already do this anyways but she should be telling me.)

I've also got messages stating that I do not get their bookbags every weekend. I've gotten them a total of 7 times in the past 2 school years and she expects me to make sure their grades are good. (I live 30min away from her and their school).

I've asked nicely over the years to let me have the children and that I would take care of everything financially, as she complains she can't do anything since she has 5 kids. She said in 1 message that she is willing to give me joint custody. I'm not sure if she is still willing to agree to that though. But she is also known for agreeing to numerous things and right at the last minute she backs out.

 

[jowen82]

I did forget to mention that I do not believe it is right that the GAL and the court system won't force a mother of 5 to not get a job since 2005 but wants to force me to get one.

The system is saying it is ok to pop out 5 kids, not get a job, get assistance with housing (now), and get childcare assistance (now) for almost 10 years. Her oldest is 8yrs old.

The system is also saying that since it is ok for her to be a stay at home mother and to force the father to go against his lifestyle choices by being a stay at home father to financially support her and her kids and not expect her to support her own kids.

I thought the 14th Amendment protected from this happening.
The Equal Protection Clause of the 14th amendment of the U.S. Constitution prohibits states from denying any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws. See U.S. Const. amend. XIV. In other words, the laws of a state must treat an individual in the same manner as others in similar conditions and circumstances.

I understand it as I cannot be discriminated against because i'm a man, and my lifestyle choice of being a stay at home father cannot be used against me in the court of law.

 

[TheGeekess]

So, the only time Mom gets any CS from you is when CSEA levies your tax refund?

I'm agreeing with the GAL; neither of you are fit to raise children, much less dogs. I can see the GAL's point about the children being between a rock and a hard place.

 

[CJane]

I have to be honest... it doesn't sound like the GAL was biased AT ALL. It sounds to me like she thinks you're BOTH doing a poor job of living up to your parental responsibilities, but that the children aren't in immediate danger, so custody shouldn't change. You've been litigating this for YEARS, and actually ended up with LESS time with the children than you had before - all while not bothering to support the children financially.

What's interesting to me, is that a couple of times when you filed for custody, you actually did so on the grounds that you are better able to financially provide for the children - and then you just STOPPED providing for them at all.

And I read it that the GAL is recommending that BOTH OF YOU seek employment. Mom is to register for public housing and for daycare assistance to enable her to WORK.

 

[Ohiogal]

I've also got text messages and Facebook messages from her saying if I want to know how to kids school is going I need to go talk to the school. (I already do this anyways but she should be telling me.)

Bull. She doesn't have to tell you squat if you are a big boy and a parent. You contact the school and find out.

I've also got messages stating that I do not get their bookbags every weekend. I've gotten them a total of 7 times in the past 2 school years and she expects me to make sure their grades are good. (I live 30min away from her and their school).

And? Your children should be able to bring their bookbags with them if it is important.

I've asked nicely over the years to let me have the children and that I would take care of everything financially, as she complains she can't do anything since she has 5 kids. She said in 1 message that she is willing to give me joint custody. I'm not sure if she is still willing to agree to that though. But she is also known for agreeing to numerous things and right at the last minute she backs out.

You don't have a substantial change in circumstance. And two CPS reports regarding the children? Those are hearsay and don't put you in a good light either if they are about your children.

 

[Ohiogal]

I did forget to mention that I do not believe it is right that the GAL and the court system won't force a mother of 5 to not get a job since 2005 but wants to force me to get one.

You are ordered to pay child support. That is a court order. YOU do NOT follow that order. You therefore have shown direct contempt for the court and its orders.

The system is saying it is ok to pop out 5 kids, not get a job, get assistance with housing (now), and get childcare assistance (now) for almost 10 years. Her oldest is 8yrs old.

You chose her.
You slept with her. You impregnated her. Doesn't say much about you. And now you are a deadbeat when it comes to supporting your children.

The system is also saying that since it is ok for her to be a stay at home mother and to force the father to go against his lifestyle choices by being a stay at home father to financially support her and her kids and not expect her to support her own kids.

You are expected to support YOUR children. You are not doing that -- you don't have to get a job but you have to abide by the court order and pay your support monthly.

I thought the 14th Amendment protected from this happening.
The Equal Protection Clause of the 14th amendment of the U.S. Constitution prohibits states from denying any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws. See U.S. Const. amend. XIV. In other words, the laws of a state must treat an individual in the same manner as others in similar conditions and circumstances.

I understand it as I cannot be discriminated against because i'm a man, and my lifestyle choice of being a stay at home father cannot be used against me in the court of law.

It isn't. But you are expected to financially provide for your children. If you don't work, you have to find another way to get the support. Maybe your loving wife can pay it for you.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

Yes I'm trying to figure out if my Guardian Ad Litem is being biased in my case or not. I just recently had her appointed to my case for the 2nd time this year and in her report she sounds biased in my opinion and i'm looking for input from others on this. Also if there is anything that I can fight (report wording and such) let me know as that would be most helpful.

 GAL report filed 4/21/11
 DCS records
 School records
 Text and Facebook printouts

Summary and Recommendations:
Based on the information provided as well as the history of this case this GAL does not
see any significant change in circumstances which would warrant a modification to the
current order of child custody.
This GAL has concerns about either of the parents being able to meet all of the needs that
the children will have as they grow.
This GAL finds it concerning when a single woman has five children and no means or
plan to better her life or the life of the children.
This GAL finds it equally concerning when a man who is over thirty years old fails to
maintain employment for several years and seems to think a once a year contribution to
the support of his children at tax time is sufficient.
While this GAL is not convinced that a modification of custody from one parent to the
other parent is going to be of huge benefit to the children at this time it is likely that if
something drastic doesn’t change the children could end up in foster care.
It is the opinion of this GAL that both parties need to drop their focus on what they
perceive as the other parents short comings and start making their own life changes.
GAL is making the following recommendations to the court in an effort to protect the
best interest of the minor children:
1) There should be NO CHANGE to the current order of child custody.
2) **Mothers Name** should have thirty days to file for government subsidized
housing so that her children can be provided with a more appropriate home.
3) **Mothers Name** should also look into possible childcare assistance so she can go to
work.
4) **Fathers Name** should be given a specific amount of time to secure employment
and start making regular child support payments.
5) Both parties should have the right to have open communication with the
schools and have input on how to help the children become more successful.
6) If the school recommends in writing to both parents that either child would
benefit academically by attending any supportive services such as the New
Dawn program or summer school the children must be enrolled and the
parents must figure out a way to get them to and from all scheduled sessions.
GAL notes that a parent who isn’t offering to provide such transportation need
not complain that the other failed to make it happen. In other words, the 9
parents MUST work together to ensure the children are able to get whatever
help is available to them.
7) The children must attend school regularly to have a chance at being
successful.
8) This GAL notes for the parties that unless and until they are holding up to
their end of the parenting responsibility this GAL will not recommend any
changes to the current orders.
Respectfully submitted to the court on September 23rd in the year 2014.



*************************************************
My thoughts:
1) On this statement:
"This GAL finds it concerning when a single woman has five children and no means or
plan to better her life or the life of the children."

Wouldn't that be admission that the mother does NOT have the best interest for her children? (Isn't that what a GAL is supposed to do, find the best interest for the children?)

2) On this statement:
"While this GAL is not convinced that a modification of custody from one parent to the
other parent is going to be of huge benefit to the children at this time it is likely that if
something drastic doesn’t change the children could end up in foster care."

That's what i'm asking for is a drastic change. I'm asking for a change of custody to where I've got full custody.

3) What is not in this report. I've got 2 CPS reports that were done on their mother. In the reports it states that their mother was offered support/services to better her situation. She never has done anything about it. So this report saying she needs to file for housing and childcare assistance bothers me. This to me is biased big time.

4) What is not in this report. One of the CPS reports that I have is where my son (age 5 at the time) took his bike and rode alone 0.6 miles away from her house. She did not notify the police of his absence. He was found by a lady that called the police and the police had to bring him to the school to find out who he was. My son was missing for almost 1 hour and not a single police report was filed by her. (GAL has these reports)


Parent Backgrounds:

Father (Myself)
This part may bother some people but it is my lifestyle choice. I am a househusband (Stay at home dad). I take care of the home and work with my kids daily. (I've got 2 other kids living at home.) The children living at home with me are Honor Roll Students and are on Perfect Attendance. My wife works to financially support the family as I stay home due to costs of childcare. Both my wife and I have some college under our belts but neither of us graduated. We have moved 2 times in the past 7 years. I wanted both my children in preschool at the earliest age possible due to their mothers education and she declined. None of my children (living with me) have had lice.

Mother
She dropped out of school in 8th grade and not pursued to get a GED. She has moved 6 times in the past 5 years. 3 out of 5 of her children (2 of which were mine) were asked to take summer school last year and she declined as she stated that the kids need to be kids during the summer (I've got school records with my children's bad grades and attendance). She withdrew my son only 2 months into preschool. My daughter has had lice over 7 times according to their school in the past 2 years. She has withheld my children from me in the past for a total of 4 weeks. She recently lived in a trailer without power with her boyfriend and 5 children for over 2 weeks.


I hope somebody can help me in this situation. I've been fighting for my kids for 7 years now and this is the worst it's ever been.

Thank you for your time.

"Dad"? Honestly...You ARE JUST PLAIN WRONG.

 

[Proserpina]

"Dad"? Honestly...You ARE JUST PLAIN WRONG.

Given that several of us have tried and none of us succeeded, if nothing else the OP should take ^^^ this as gospel. Blue said it perfectly.

I truly believe that this is one of those cases that keeps a GAL awake all night. As melodramatic as it might sound, she's caught between measles and rubella.

 

[FamilyGirl]

I have to be honest... it doesn't sound like the GAL was biased AT ALL. It sounds to me like she thinks you're BOTH doing a poor job of living up to your parental responsibilities, but that the children aren't in immediate danger, so custody shouldn't change. You've been litigating this for YEARS, and actually ended up with LESS time with the children than you had before - all while not bothering to support the children financially.

What's interesting to me, is that a couple of times when you filed for custody, you actually did so on the grounds that you are better able to financially provide for the children - and then you just STOPPED providing for them at all.

And I read it that the GAL is recommending that BOTH OF YOU seek employment. Mom is to register for public housing and for daycare assistance to enable her to WORK.

I agree. I don't see any bias in here at all. This seems to be a very thorough and reasonable investigation and determination considering the circumstances. Personally, I think you should focus your efforts on improving your contribution to the situation. Your spending too much time focusing on her behavior, she may be doing the same and interim; the kids are suffering for it. I speak from the voice of being guilty of making the same mistakes at times. You can't force the other person to do what you perceive as right or fair. You can only improve your own behavior and performance.

Also, if you are the one calling CPS on her in unwarranted situations; I hope that you are really taking into consideration the consequences of this behavior.

"It is the opinion of this GAL that both parties need to drop their focus on what they perceive as the other parents short comings and start making their own life changes."

For what it's worth, I concur. This needs to serve as a wake up call to both parties.