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  1. #1
    MayDawn is offline Junior Member
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    Unhappy Guardianship baby niece... help plz

    What is the name of your state? Oklahoma.

    My husband and I currently have guardianship of my niece who will be 2yrs old soon.
    We have had her since she was 5months old.

    My niece is the 5th child of lady who only has custody of her 6th child... due to violence/drugs and prison.

    Two of her oldest daughters are mandated by the state to have counseling for severe sexual abuse.

    The state still has custody of her son who is in the foster care system right now. He has severe mental problems due to severe abuse and neglect.

    My niece was picked up by my mother at a drug house where my nieces mother had been passed out for 2-3 days, leaving my niece in the other room to lay in her own mess and not be fed for that whole time.

    A judge in Tulsa, Ok gave us emergency custody, because the mother had come out and tried to snatch the baby out of our home and ended up dropping her down a flight of stairs. She was heavily doped up at the time.

    Now over a year later without hearing a word from her or knowing where she is..... she calls and tells us she is seeing an attorney and wants the baby back.

    Can anyone please tell us how we can stop this?

    She has severely damaged all her other children and wants none of them back, but is going to come after this baby... we believe it is for revenge upon my brother who is serving a 23yr sentence for manufacturing meth.

    Does she not have any responsibility to the child in state foster care who has no family wanting him? But can instead come after this baby who is with family and well cared for and not in foster care?

    Any advice is helpful... thank you.What is the name of your state?
  2. #2
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by MayDawn View Post
    What is the name of your state? Oklahoma.

    My husband and I currently have guardianship of my niece who will be 2yrs old soon.
    We have had her since she was 5months old.

    My niece is the 5th child of lady who only has custody of her 6th child... due to violence/drugs and prison.

    Two of her oldest daughters are mandated by the state to have counseling for severe sexual abuse.

    The state still has custody of her son who is in the foster care system right now. He has severe mental problems due to severe abuse and neglect.

    My niece was picked up by my mother at a drug house where my nieces mother had been passed out for 2-3 days, leaving my niece in the other room to lay in her own mess and not be fed for that whole time.

    A judge in Tulsa, Ok gave us emergency custody, because the mother had come out and tried to snatch the baby out of our home and ended up dropping her down a flight of stairs. She was heavily doped up at the time.

    Now over a year later without hearing a word from her or knowing where she is..... she calls and tells us she is seeing an attorney and wants the baby back.

    Can anyone please tell us how we can stop this?

    She has severely damaged all her other children and wants none of them back, but is going to come after this baby... we believe it is for revenge upon my brother who is serving a 23yr sentence for manufacturing meth.

    Does she not have any responsibility to the child in state foster care who has no family wanting him? But can instead come after this baby who is with family and well cared for and not in foster care?

    Any advice is helpful... thank you.What is the name of your state?
    Just an FYI, the child in foster care is the sibling of your neice. I would hope that, if you want, and are able to get, permanent custody, you won't have to tell this child someday that you left her brother in foster care because he's not YOUR "blood relative".

    Hopefully this woman would not get anyone's baby's, including her own. People should need a license to breed.
  3. #3
    Zephyr is offline Senior Member
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    what type of gaurdianship do you have? does mom have any type of visitation at all?

    what type of resources does mom have? ie- this is going to cost her (and likely you) a boatload of money....does she have access to many thousands of dollars?
  4. #4
    BL
    BL is offline Senior Member
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    People should need a license to breed
    Seems to be your of late response ??? Even the Japs or Chinese limited households to 2 children , and of course monitored them .

    I thought this was the land of the Free , under laws , not dictatorship ?

    Although our for fathers constitution seems to be shiitn the bed , and we tolerate dictatorship in and from our own once a dominate country of the land of the free .

    WTH , is w/ a license to breed ? Are we humans suppose to be a pure breed ?
  5. #5
    jbowman is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blonde Lebinese View Post
    Seems to be your of late response ??? Even the Japs or Chinese limited households to 2 children , and of course monitored them .

    I thought this was the land of the Free , under laws , not dictatorship ?

    Although our for fathers constitution seems to be shiitn the bed , and we tolerate dictatorship in and from our own once a dominate country of the land of the free .

    WTH , is w/ a license to breed ? Are we humans suppose to be a pure breed ?
    Hahah wow, Blonde... what????
  6. #6
    BL
    BL is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by jbowman View Post
    Hahah wow, Blonde... what????

    I'm visioning it now , I'd like to apply for a license to breed please ?
  7. #7
    jbowman is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blonde Lebinese View Post
    I'm visioning it now , I'd like to apply for a license to breed please ?
    Well, youve got to admit, there is a VERY high percentage of parents that SHOULD NOT be having children. Seriously.
  8. #8
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
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    [QUOTE=Blonde Lebinese;1624585]Seems to be your of late response ??? QUOTE]

    It is? Kindly name one post in which I said this before.
  9. #9
    MayDawn is offline Junior Member
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    First, thank you for the quick reply. We are truly panicing.

    We had become foster parents in hopes of getting my nieces brother... when I said no family wanted him, I meant their side of the family.
    We have run into blocks at every turn in trying to get him... first, he can be extremely violent towards others and himself. The reason he is not with his 2 older sisters is because he stabbed one of them and the 'real' father of those girls who had wanted to keep them all together gave him back to the state because he couldnt handle him.
    Now, the social worker assigned to him has told us we can not have him because he needs specialized living conditions with parents who have so many years experience with these type of children.

    I'm not aware of there being different types of guardianship... we did have temporary guardianship until we went to court and she didnt show because another Judge had sentenced her to jail or rehab and she took rehab.

    She does not have any visitation of my niece at this time, due to her attempt to snatch her from our home and dropping her down the flight of stairs.
    We are not sure of what money she might have, we are thinking that she has probably gotten her tax returns right now and is using that. She did tell me that she is moving right now too... which means she has enough money to do that and see the attorney.

    We are worrying that she could get legal aid and fight us forever on this and slowly bankrupt us... we are not wealthy but make a very good income and can come up with funds to battle her. Tens of thousands of dollars is not possible though.

    We are also native americans and both carry tribal cards. I have heard that a tribal court treats these issues more seriously.... is this true?
  10. #10
    BL
    BL is offline Senior Member
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    [QUOTE=nextwife;1624603]
    Quote Originally Posted by Blonde Lebinese View Post
    Seems to be your of late response ??? QUOTE]

    It is? Kindly name one post in which I said this before.
    I'm not going SNIPE hunting , but if it wasn't your response prior , it was some other poster .

    While I would agree that many don't deserve , that's not our country .

    I read too many horror stories of the outcomes of children by their parents or caregivers hands in the US . The Newer laws give them an opportunity to " drop " them w/o penalty , but to insinuate a license is a bit too far for our country , don't you think ? I can only shake my head of what's in store for us all .

    It won't be breeding that's the death of us .
  11. #11
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by MayDawn View Post
    First, thank you for the quick reply. We are truly panicing.

    We had become foster parents in hopes of getting my nieces brother... when I said no family wanted him, I meant their side of the family.
    We have run into blocks at every turn in trying to get him... first, he can be extremely violent towards others and himself. The reason he is not with his 2 older sisters is because he stabbed one of them and the 'real' father of those girls who had wanted to keep them all together gave him back to the state because he couldnt handle him.
    Now, the social worker assigned to him has told us we can not have him because he needs specialized living conditions with parents who have so many years experience with these type of children.

    I'm not aware of there being different types of guardianship... we did have temporary guardianship until we went to court and she didnt show because another Judge had sentenced her to jail or rehab and she took rehab.

    She does not have any visitation of my niece at this time, due to her attempt to snatch her from our home and dropping her down the flight of stairs.
    We are not sure of what money she might have, we are thinking that she has probably gotten her tax returns right now and is using that. She did tell me that she is moving right now too... which means she has enough money to do that and see the attorney.

    We are worrying that she could get legal aid and fight us forever on this and slowly bankrupt us... we are not wealthy but make a very good income and can come up with funds to battle her. Tens of thousands of dollars is not possible though.

    We are also native americans and both carry tribal cards. I have heard that a tribal court treats these issues more seriously.... is this true?
    Based upon your post, brother should be a sole placement. Sounds like attachment disorder.

    The problem is that the system waits WAY too long before terminating parental rights. I hear all sorts of horror stories from foster to adopt families about what these kids have been put through during ill-concieved reunification attempts. If mom couldn't, in over two years, get herself and her act together, push for termination of parental rights and adoption. There are mandates now limiting how long a child is supposed to be allowed to languish in the foster system

    You have had legal guardianship? Do you have an order yet for her to pay CS? It would be a travesty for her to get this child (or any current of future children) back based upon what you have posted. DO make sure she's paying CS. Don't give mom and dad a free ride.
    Last edited by nextwife; 05-02-2007 at 05:30 PM.
  12. #12
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
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    [QUOTE=Blonde Lebinese;1624612]
    Quote Originally Posted by nextwife View Post

    I'm not going SNIPE hunting , but if it wasn't your response prior , it was some other poster .

    While I would agree that many don't deserve , that's not our country .

    I read too many horror stories of the outcomes of children by their parents or caregivers hands in the US . The Newer laws give them an opportunity to " drop " them w/o penalty , but to insinuate a license is a bit too far for our country , don't you think ? I can only shake my head of what's in store for us all .

    It won't be breeding that's the death of us .
    Blonde, you do understand the difference between a quip and a LITERAL suggestion?
  13. #13
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by MayDawn View Post
    First, thank you for the quick reply. We are truly panicing.

    We had become foster parents in hopes of getting my nieces brother... when I said no family wanted him, I meant their side of the family.
    We have run into blocks at every turn in trying to get him... first, he can be extremely violent towards others and himself. The reason he is not with his 2 older sisters is because he stabbed one of them and the 'real' father of those girls who had wanted to keep them all together gave him back to the state because he couldnt handle him.
    Now, the social worker assigned to him has told us we can not have him because he needs specialized living conditions with parents who have so many years experience with these type of children.

    I'm not aware of there being different types of guardianship... we did have temporary guardianship until we went to court and she didnt show because another Judge had sentenced her to jail or rehab and she took rehab.

    She does not have any visitation of my niece at this time, due to her attempt to snatch her from our home and dropping her down the flight of stairs.
    We are not sure of what money she might have, we are thinking that she has probably gotten her tax returns right now and is using that. She did tell me that she is moving right now too... which means she has enough money to do that and see the attorney.

    We are worrying that she could get legal aid and fight us forever on this and slowly bankrupt us... we are not wealthy but make a very good income and can come up with funds to battle her. Tens of thousands of dollars is not possible though.

    We are also native americans and both carry tribal cards. I have heard that a tribal court treats these issues more seriously.... is this true?
    I honestly don't think that you should be panicking at this point. She is going to have to jump through some seriously major hoops to have any chance of regaining custody of the child...and its going to take a lot more money than what she got back in her tax check.

    You don't have "placement" of the child, you have actual guardianship. That means that she doesn't have to just jump through CPS hoops in order to get the child back. She has to mount a proper court case. Unless rehab truly worked for her, and she is totally clean and sober, and has been for a signficant amount of time, its going to be difficult for her to get anything more than supervised visitation.

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