Guidance / Advice

[NVDAD123]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Nevada

I am father
No attorney
Unwed child
I have been primary caregiver for last several years IE 2013 I had child approx 330days
I do not have a custody order (I know dumb)
Mother has shown no interest in last 3 years to utilize time with child, leaving our child with me for weeks to month on end.

Recently Mother and I spoke about custody, Mother agreed she would not have an issue with me seeking custody.
I filed the appropriate documents.
In response mother has begun picking child up on random days, and will has stated she will no longer give me time when I want with child
Has been dodging Sheriff server. (they have attempted in person, notes, and calls for 2 1/2 weeks)

Mother has stated had she known I'd one day try to get custody of child she never would have left child in my care for these years.
Mother has stated child does not need me, child needs Mother.
Mother refuses to give allow me days with child now, including days I tried to explain are family days with other sibling (wife and I have a separate child)


Do I have any rights, or options, or do I just hold strong until the court hearings?

 

[single317dad]

First and foremost, you need to get her served. Process servers will employ a number of creative tactics to get the papers in the hand of the party. Call one from your phone book and ask about prices.

Then, read and learn this:

http://law.justia.com/codes/nevada/2010/title11/chapter125/nrs125-480.html

And this:

http://www.leg.state.nv.us/courtrules/nrcp.html

 

[NVDAD123]

Thanks for the resources. I have the Sheriff civil division attempting service right now just a week left of the 30day window.

So basically I have a strong case for custody, but have to mentally/emotional survive this short period of what mother is doing?

I guess that makes me feel a little better if that is the case. Will the judge look at and consider the past several years of history I have documented or will he take mothers word based on what she literally just started doing? I don't know if that is a dumb question but figured Id ask.

Right now I am just going along with what Mother is doing because frankly I am powerless and do not want to cause anymore stress that could indirectly affect our child. I have politely voiced my opinion via text message a few times but other than that I just let mother do what she wants. Hoping that once I can get to court a judge can make the final decisions I just hope ive done everything right minus not getting an order when child was a baby. But maybe its better this way I dont know.

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks for the resources. I have the Sheriff civil division attempting service right now just a week left of the 30day window.

So basically I have a strong case for custody, but have to mentally/emotional survive this short period of what mother is doing?

I guess that makes me feel a little better if that is the case. Will the judge look at and consider the past several years of history I have documented or will he take mothers word based on what she literally just started doing? I don't know if that is a dumb question but figured Id ask.

Right now I am just going along with what Mother is doing because frankly I am powerless and do not want to cause anymore stress that could indirectly affect our child. I have politely voiced my opinion via text message a few times but other than that I just let mother do what she wants. Hoping that once I can get to court a judge can make the final decisions I just hope ive done everything right minus not getting an order when child was a baby. But maybe its better this way I dont know.

How much documentation do you have that the child lived with you for most of the past several years? Whose address does the child's doctor have? If the child is in daycare or school whose address to they have for the child? Is the child under any state benefits (Medicaid, foodstamps, etc) and under which parent are those benefits? What kind of non-family/friend witnesses could you produce that could testify that the child lived primarily with you? How old is the child?

If it comes down to he said she said its going to boil down to who is the most credible with the judge. Therefore, any hard evidence that you can provide will enhance your position enormously.

Yes, you do have a strong chance for custody and its quite probable that this will only be a temporary situation that you have to deal with. However, if at all possible don't let it be just a he said she said situation.

 

[NVDAD123]

About 2 years of documentation. Give or take.
As far as address, insurance, doctors, taxes, savings account etc all are my address I am sure I have more. Mother took child to doctors once back in 2010, that's it. In fact now that I think of it. Child's doctor of 2 1/2 years does not even know Mother. Mother has all info etc.

Child is 4

As far as documentation goes I have a calendar log book that I record pickups/dropoffs, interactions, issues and I try to keep it to the point just the facts, and backed up every single text message to gmail.
I also have a broken down summary of every day+night, full day, half day child has been with me.

I've tried to document as much as I can to prevent that very he said she said on at least my end.

I appreciate the questions and the pointers its giving me good filler and I can spot check myself. I know I only get one good shot at this.

 

[NVDAD123]

Update

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NV

Waiting for CMC. I am bio-Father - Unmarried

The questions I have are fairly simple.
Note: As noted above I have no legal custody / rights. However, I have been primary care/resident for 3 years. Recently I filed for primary resident & joint legal custody, all was fine until Mother saw that I have logbooks, and records showing me as primary. Nightmare has ensued.

Issue1: Mother has decided out of the blue now to put child into daycare, over me taking care of child as it has been for 3 years. Mother cites it is due to me living too far away as I recently moved exactly 2 miles from my old home to get a larger home, and better school selection for child & sibling. It hasn't been an issue until recently.

Issue2: Mother refuses to provide me new daycare info, ability to see or pickup. No reason given except "You may not pick her up"

Issue3: Mother is refusing to co-parent, as she claims since she has full custody I have no rights, and she need not co-parent with me.

Question1: Any options? Or sit tight, record as usual? (Waiting for a CMC hearing)

Question2: What are my chances via CMC to establish a temp order to have child in my care again Monday - Friday? (Facts are fairly straight forward. I've been primary for 3 years. 2013 I had child for 85% of the year in total. I have been only parent to handle childs medical, doctor has provided records, and notes)

All advice welcome.
Thank you for your time, and have a good one.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Update

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NV

Waiting for CMC. I am bio-Father - Unmarried

The questions I have are fairly simple.
Note: As noted above I have no legal custody / rights. However, I have been primary care/resident for 3 years. Recently I filed for primary resident & joint legal custody, all was fine until Mother saw that I have logbooks, and records showing me as primary. Nightmare has ensued.

Issue1: Mother has decided out of the blue now to put child into daycare, over me taking care of child as it has been for 3 years. Mother cites it is due to me living too far away as I recently moved exactly 2 miles from my old home to get a larger home, and better school selection for child & sibling. It hasn't been an issue until recently.

Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do because, as you said, you have no legal custody/visitation.

Issue2: Mother refuses to provide me new daycare info, ability to see or pickup. No reason given except "You may not pick her up"

Sorry, same answer as above.

Issue3: Mother is refusing to co-parent, as she claims since she has full custody I have no rights, and she need not co-parent with me.

Again, sorry, same answer. However, keep any evidence of her statements as they may be helpful in court.

Question1: Any options? Or sit tight, record as usual? (Waiting for a CMC hearing)

Sit tight. In the meantime, in addition to your logs, collect as much documentation from doctors that shows you attended the appointments (i.e., something with your signature, preferably). Same for any other appointments/activities.

Question2: What are my chances via CMC to establish a temp order to have child in my care again Monday - Friday? (Facts are fairly straight forward. I've been primary for 3 years. 2013 I had child for 85% of the year in total. I have been only parent to handle childs medical, doctor has provided records, and notes)

No one can really say for sure. You look good on paper, but the longer you're away from the child, the more it may affect your chances.

All advice welcome.
Thank you for your time, and have a good one.

Good luck to you, and keep us posted.

 

[stealth2]

Has paternity been *legally* determined?

 

[NVDAD123]

Thank you for the response. I assumed as much, and just wanted to clarify.

However, keep any evidence of her statements as they may be helpful in court.Sit tight. In the meantime, in addition to your logs, collect as much documentation from doctors that shows you attended the appointments (i.e., something with your signature, preferably). Same for any other appointments/activities.

I've done all the doctors visits, doctor even gave me a signed note with all dates he's seen child, he also noted Mother has not made contact with him over the years he has seen the child. Although mother has had doctors info.

Has paternity been *legally* determined?

I am on the child's birth certificate. Mother signed forms acknowledging I am the Father.

 

[NVDAD123]

Update 2 Issues, 1 Question

CMC is set, about a 2 month wait.

Issue1: Mother refuses to give back days with child, even though I've offered numerous compromises. She refuses to give me more time, and is saying any and all days I have had our child are now "made up" days.

Issue2: Mother has made it very clear that she presently has full custody, and will not co parent.

Question: How good of a resource will text message logs I have backed up, and printed out since 2012 to present be for our case? Should I highlight certain items in particular, and or link them back to my calendar logbooks? I just want to occupy my time for the next 2 months, and be thorough.

So now... I sit tight, and wait for the CMC I jut wish there was more I could do for our childs sake, and to spend time with them. Sucks to put in all this work for our childs entire life, only to have it just taken away once I try to establish some sort of legal custody. I just hope I am doing the right thing now by sitting here twiddling my thumbs.

I appreciate the feedback, and advice you all have given thus far, thank you.

 

[NVDAD123]

Update

Mother now stating it is to far for child to come to my home (no real change in residency distance between us), and plans to increase "daycare" usage. No need for daycare as I have a vehicle, have offered numerous compromises, right down to picking child up/drop off anytime needed. I am available during Mothers work hours to watch our child, as I have been for the last several years until the custody dispute.

Question I have is...

When the CMC comes what are the chances of restoring, or achieving a "normal" (in my opinion) consecutive 5 day a week schedule for our child? IE Child able to stay with me during the week, and with Mother on weekends (her non work days)?

A side question I just thought of...

Mother was paying child support to me for about 1 year, and acknowledges she was doing so in her response, however stated in her response she stopped paying child support due to the custody dispute. Q: What are the chances via the CMC or future that Child Support would be ordered through the court if I was in fact granted primary. I am not per-se after child support, I am simply curious if the fact she stated she did pay me, and decided now because of custody she'd stop, if that has any meaning/weight in a settlement / trial.

 

[stealth2]

Update

Mother now stating it is to far for child to come to my home (no real change in residency distance between us), and plans to increase "daycare" usage. No need for daycare as I have a vehicle, have offered numerous compromises, right down to picking child up/drop off anytime needed. I am available during Mothers work hours to watch our child, as I have been for the last several years until the custody dispute.

Question I have is...

When the CMC comes what are the chances of restoring, or achieving a "normal" (in my opinion) consecutive 5 day a week schedule for our child? IE Child able to stay with me during the week, and with Mother on weekends (her non work days)?

A side question I just thought of...

Mother was paying child support to me for about 1 year, and acknowledges she was doing so in her response, however stated in her response she stopped paying child support due to the custody dispute. Q: What are the chances via the CMC or future that Child Support would be ordered through the court if I was in fact granted primary. I am not per-se after child support, I am simply curious if the fact she stated she did pay me, and decided now because of custody she'd stop, if that has any meaning/weight in a settlement / trial.

If the money she was giving you was not ordered by the court, then it was a gift and will have no bearing.