He broke the order, can I suspend visitation?

[stekkinekko]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maine

I have shared parental rights with my daughter's father. I am the custodial parent. Because of his history of alcohol abuse, there is a section in our court order stating that he is not allowed to consume alcohol during, or 24 hours prior to a visit. I learned this week from his new girlfriend (who wasn't aware of the court order) that he has been drinking while our daughter is in his care. My lawyer has not responded to my messages or emails for the past couple days, and I am very concerned for my daughter's safety. However I do not want to jeopardize myself by "denying visitation" and therefore breaking the court order myself.

Because he has disobeyed the order, do I have a right to stop his visitation before we return to court on this matter? Or am I forced to allow him to take her when I know he is drinking while caring for her?

 

[BL]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maine

I have shared parental rights with my daughter's father. I am the custodial parent. Because of his history of alcohol abuse, there is a section in our court order stating that he is not allowed to consume alcohol during, or 24 hours prior to a visit. I learned this week from his new girlfriend (who wasn't aware of the court order) that he has been drinking while our daughter is in his care. My lawyer has not responded to my messages or emails for the past couple days, and I am very concerned for my daughter's safety. However I do not want to jeopardize myself by "denying visitation" and therefore breaking the court order myself.

Because he has disobeyed the order, do I have a right to stop his visitation before we return to court on this matter? Or am I forced to allow him to take her when I know he is drinking while caring for her?

How old is the daughter ?

Was the GF present during visitations ?

Was he intoxicated or does he get intoxicated to the point of not being able to care for the child ?

What did the child say when asked?

 

[stealth2]

Because he has disobeyed the order, do I have a right to stop his visitation before we return to court on this matter? Or am I forced to allow him to take her when I know he is drinking while caring for her?

Does the order say that you can suspend visitation if he violates the order? No? Then NO, you can't! You take him back to court for contempt, with proof. Good luck getting the g/f to testify for you...

 

[stekkinekko]

How old is the daughter ?

Was the GF present during visitations ?

Was he intoxicated or does he get intoxicated to the point of not being able to care for the child ?

What did the child say when asked?

My daughter is 18 months old. So she hasn't said much on the matter. The GF is present during visits. She claims that he doesn't drink enough to get drunk, but it was his abusive, drunken nature that caused me to leave him.

Her father's relationship with his new GF is unstable because of his drinking. They fight, they break up, they get back together. They recently broke up and she confided in me that the night they broke up, he woke our daughter up to make her(the GF) feel bad for him and to come back to him. He was drunk. The fact that my daughter is so young is what makes me worry about the situation so much- if he is drunk and passed out on the couch how is he supposed to take care of her? She can't exactly pick up the phone and call me. She can't get out of the crib or change her diaper, or feed herself.

And the order doesn't say anything about what I am allowed to do if he drinks during a visit. It simply says that he can't. One sentence, that's all.

 

[stealth2]

My daughter is 18 months old. So she hasn't said much on the matter. The GF is present during visits. She claims that he doesn't drink enough to get drunk, but it was his abusive, drunken nature that caused me to leave him.

Her father's relationship with his new GF is unstable because of his drinking. They fight, they break up, they get back together. They recently broke up and she confided in me that the night they broke up, he woke our daughter up to make her(the GF) feel bad for him and to come back to him. He was drunk. The fact that my daughter is so young is what makes me worry about the situation so much- if he is drunk and passed out on the couch how is he supposed to take care of her? She can't exactly pick up the phone and call me. She can't get out of the crib or change her diaper, or feed herself.

And the order doesn't say anything about what I am allowed to do if he drinks during a visit. It simply says that he can't. One sentence, that's all.

Well, then.... you don't get to stop visitation. You get to take him to court for contempt. Assuming you can prove it.

 

[stekkinekko]

Does the order say that you can suspend visitation if he violates the order? No? Then NO, you can't! You take him back to court for contempt, with proof. Good luck getting the g/f to testify for you...

I try to make sure that all our communications are via text messages, so that I have proof of the things that were said. They are dated and timestamped. I doubt that she would be stupid enough to deny saying what she did when I have the messages as proof.

 

[stealth2]

I try to make sure that all our communications are via text messages, so that I have proof of the things that were said. They are dated and timestamped. I doubt that she would be stupid enough to deny saying what she did when I have the messages as proof.

And those msgs may or may NOT be admissible. But you still don't get to stop visitation until the court says you can.

 

[stekkinekko]

And those msgs may or may NOT be admissible. But you still don't get to stop visitation until the court says you can.

Point taken. Thank you

 

[stekkinekko]

New question, same case

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maine

I have shared parental rights with my daughter's father. I am the custodial parent. Because of his history of alcohol abuse, there is a section in our court order stating that he is not allowed to consume alcohol during, or 24 hours prior to a visit. I learned this week from his new girlfriend (who wasn't aware of the court order) that he has been drinking while our daughter is in his care. My lawyer has not responded to my messages or emails for the past couple days, and I am very concerned for my daughter's safety. However I do not want to jeopardize myself by "denying visitation" and therefore breaking the court order myself.

Because he has disobeyed the order, do I have a right to stop his visitation before we return to court on this matter? Or am I forced to allow him to take her when I know he is drinking while caring for her?

I have been looking around online for other options that I might have, and one of the things I read about, was a "petition for emergency temporary custody". What I read said that alcohol abuse can be considered a reason that an order of temporary custody might be awarded. Do you think that I have any chance of being awarded something like that in this case?

 

[futuredust]

I have been looking around online for other options that I might have, and one of the things I read about, was a "petition for emergency temporary custody". What I read said that alcohol abuse can be considered a reason that an order of temporary custody might be awarded. Do you think that I have any chance of being awarded something like that in this case?

Do you have physical proof that there is alcohol abuse when the child is present?

 

[stekkinekko]

Do you have physical proof that there is alcohol abuse when the child is present?

I have the saved text messages from his new girlfriend, stating that he is abusive to her when he is drunk, and that he does drink while my daughter is visiting with him (despite the court order forbidding it). I also have a screen shot of his email to her asking her to pick up beer for him on a night that my daughter was visiting.

I do not know if that constitutes physical evidence?

 

[BL]

I have the saved text messages from his new girlfriend, stating that he is abusive to her when he is drunk, and that he does drink while my daughter is visiting with him (despite the court order forbidding it). I also have a screen shot of his email to her asking her to pick up beer for him on a night that my daughter was visiting.

I do not know if that constitutes physical evidence?

Wonder how you were able to obtain that screen shot ?

 

[futuredust]

I have the saved text messages from his new girlfriend, stating that he is abusive to her when he is drunk, and that he does drink while my daughter is visiting with him (despite the court order forbidding it). I also have a screen shot of his email to her asking her to pick up beer for him on a night that my daughter was visiting.

I do not know if that constitutes physical evidence?

It can be said that the girlfriend lied because she was mad at him. It can also be said that the beer was for her or to be consumed at a time when the child was not there. Screen shots of emails can easily be manipulated.

Now if you had police reports where they were called to the residence while the child was there and dad was drunk/disorderly, then those might be helpful.

 

[stekkinekko]

Wonder how you were able to obtain that screen shot ?

Yes, that is everyone's reaction whenever I mention that... He's not the brightest crayon...

While we were together we shared an email account. I still get some random emails to it, and so I will infrequently check it. There recently was an email/text message to his girlfriend's phone asking her to pick up beer, and she replied that she would. This was on a night that our daughter was staying there.

 

[stekkinekko]

It can be said that the girlfriend lied because she was mad at him. It can also be said that the beer was for her or to be consumed at a time when the child was not there. Screen shots of emails can easily be manipulated.

Now if you had police reports where they were called to the residence while the child was there and dad was drunk/disorderly, then those might be helpful.

Yeah, I went to the police department the morning after I found out he had been drinking. Which I know, was stupid on my part because by then there was nothing they could do. But at least now I know that I will not hesitate to call them in the future.