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he wants to claim her on his taxes, please help

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lolrogers

Guest
my ex husband wants to claim our daughter on his taxes, i have custody of her. our divorce papers say that i claim her. now my ex comes to me and asked if he can now claim our daughter everyother year.
can he take me back to court over this?

state of ohio.
thank you!

[Edited by lolrogers on 03-04-2001 at 07:14 PM]
 


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LadyBlu

Guest
lolrogers said:
my ex husband wants to claim our daughter on his taxes, i have custody of her. our divorce papers say that i claim her. now my ex comes to me and asked if he can now claim our daughter everyother year.
can he take me back to court over this?

state of ohio.
thank you!

[Edited by lolrogers on 03-04-2001 at 07:14 PM]
He can request that he be allowed to claim the child every other year from the court but there is no guarantee that he would be allowed to do so. The court will take the amount he pays and the amount of time he has physical custody of the child into consideration to making that type of decision. Until he gets the order stating that he can claim the child every other year, you do not have to allow it.
 

LegalBeagle

Senior Member
lolrogers said:
my ex husband wants to claim our daughter on his taxes, i have custody of her. our divorce papers say that i claim her. now my ex comes to me and asked if he can now claim our daughter everyother year.
can he take me back to court over this?

state of ohio.
thank you!

[Edited by lolrogers on 03-04-2001 at 07:14 PM]
No.. he agreed to it. He would need to show a change of circumstances.. ie, what has changed so much that he now feels the need to ask the court to reverse HIS decision.

Tell him to take a hike..
 
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lolrogers

Guest
reply to legal beagle

thank you,
at the time of our divorce,ex rec'd custody of our son, 12 yrs old then,(we didn't want to change our sons school).
i rec'd custody of our daughter, 6 yrs old then. our papers
said that we each claim the child living with us. son is now 18 yrs old and away at college. now his child support pymts are going from $25.00 per week to $85.00 per week, and he doesn't want to pay more.
i have paid 100% of all medical/dental/sports and school fees for our daughter for the last 6 yrs, (it was a fight when i would ask for the % he was suppose to pay, so i paid...didn't want to cause problems) i also take daughter to ALL sporting events and practices even on his weekends.
will any of that matter if he takes me back to court?
 

LegalBeagle

Senior Member
Re: reply to legal beagle

lolrogers said:
thank you,
at the time of our divorce,ex rec'd custody of our son, 12 yrs old then,(we didn't want to change our sons school).
i rec'd custody of our daughter, 6 yrs old then. our papers
said that we each claim the child living with us. son is now 18 yrs old and away at college. now his child support pymts are going from $25.00 per week to $85.00 per week, and he doesn't want to pay more.
i have paid 100% of all medical/dental/sports and school fees for our daughter for the last 6 yrs, (it was a fight when i would ask for the % he was suppose to pay, so i paid...didn't want to cause problems) i also take daughter to ALL sporting events and practices even on his weekends.
will any of that matter if he takes me back to court?
Yes.. but it should be an open and shut case.. he claimed your soon for many years and now that he no longer has that right, he wants to claim your daughter because his CS payments are too high. A judge will laugh him out of court.

 
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lolrogers

Guest
he is MAD now!!

LeagleBeagle,
ex is VERY upset that i will not agree to let him claim her everyother year. seems to be taking it out on our daughter.
for the past 3 years or so, on his weekend he would pick her up sometime sat. afternoon/evening (his choice,he started to work 2nd shift, he has been on 1st shift since aug 2000, but didn't change the schedule)
daughter has always been able to make plans with freinds and
family on friday nights,movies,sleepovers ect.
this is his weekend- he called her on 3-9 @ 4:00pm to tell her he was on his way to get her, she was out with grandpa and a cousin, so he left several messages for her to call him when they returned. so she called. he was yelling at her, telling her she was very irresponsible making her feel really bad, she started to cry (she had always had fridays to do "her thing"-she didn't understand why he was so mad)
she hung up the phone, and ask me to call him and talk to him about her plans for the evening. i did, i was very nice (didn't want to make it worse) i tried to help him understand that she is used to having friday pm for herself.
would it be possible for her to be picked up on sat aftn? we talked for a moment he seemed to clam down a bit. then,
he asked to speak with her, i handed her the phone, more
yelling, daughter could also hear new step-mom in background
saying "she thinks she can cry her way out of anything"
daughter started crying again, he told her to call him when
she wanted to see him again. now daughter(12 yrs. old)
does not want to go to his house at all this weekend.
is begging me not to make her. do i have to make her?
what happens if i don't? can i record phone conservations?
Please advise,
Ohio

[Edited by lolrogers on 03-10-2001 at 08:11 AM]
 
L

LadyBlu

Guest
Re: he is MAD now!!

lolrogers said:
LeagleBeagle,
ex is VERY upset that i will not agree to let him claim her everyother year. seems to be taking it out on our daughter.
for the past 3 years or so, on his weekend he would pick her up sometime sat. afternoon/evening (his choice,he started to work 2nd shift, he has been on 1st shift since aug 2000, but didn't change the schedule)
daughter has always been able to make plans with freinds and
family on friday nights,movies,sleepovers ect.
this is his weekend- he called her on 3-9 @ 4:00pm to tell her he was on his way to get her, she was out with grandpa and a cousin, so he left several messages for her to call him when they returned. so she called. he was yelling at her, telling her she was very irresponsible making her feel really bad, she started to cry (she had always had fridays to do "her thing"-she didn't understand why he was so mad)
she hung up the phone, and ask me to call him and talk to him about her plans for the evening. i did, i was very nice (didn't want to make it worse) i tried to help him understand that she is used to having friday pm for herself.
would it be possible for her to be picked up on sat aftn? we talked for a moment he seemed to clam down a bit. then,
he asked to speak with her, i handed her the phone, more
yelling, daughter could also hear new step-mom in background
saying "she thinks she can cry her way out of anything"
daughter started crying again, he told her to call him when
she wanted to see him again. now daughter(12 yrs. old)
does not want to go to his house at all this weekend.
is begging me not to make her. do i have to make her?
what happens if i don't? can i record phone conservations?
Please advise,
Ohio

[Edited by lolrogers on 03-10-2001 at 08:11 AM]
Ohio is a one party state, as long as your daughter knows that the calls are being recorded then you can record her calls with her dad.

What he is doing is a form of mental abuse and is totally uncalled for. If he is going to change the pattern of his visits he needs to contact you ahead of time so that you can make sure the daughter is prepared.

Send him a certified letter and send a copy to his atty adn the District Clerk to put in your case file. You need to state in it what the previous visitation times were, then state that if he is going to now start picking the child up as the court order stated to begin with he needs to notifuy you prior to changing it so that you can make arrangements for your daughter to be ready to go.

I would also make mention of the way he yelled at your daughter on the phone, let him know it is mental abuse and he is doing irreversible psychological damage that could ruin his relationship with his daughter if it continues.

Simple.. then make sure you abide by the terms of the visitation agreement from here on out. If he isnt there within 30 minutes of his designated time, then allow her to do as she would have if he hadnt been exercising his rights. Keep a journal of the times he calls, what is said, and the times and dates he exercises visitation.
 
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lolrogers

Guest
what now?

thank you for time and direction ladyblu.
i had a long talk with my daughter today,told her it was not her fault,she already knew about the possibilty of dads payments going up, says she knows he is only doing this because of it.(she is very mature for 12, 5'9" and acts like she is 14 or 15, a+ student very bright) she still didn't want to call him or visit him this weekend. i told she needed to call and talk to him about how she feels. i told her to be calm and try not to cry. she did call and she didn't cry. he was still mad but not yelling at her. he again told her it was her fault that they didn't see each other yesterday. he also told that there are going to be some new rules for her to follow. he told her to call him when she gets up and he will pick her up. she has agreed to go.
i asked her how she would feel about recording phone conservations, she said "yes please do" also asked if she could take a recorder with her on her visit. i told her i would check into it. what do i tell her? is it legal?
should i let her? she also wanted to write everything down herself and did(i was not with her when she wrote it down and have not read what she wrote). she wanted to keep journal herself i told her that was a good idea.
sorry so long winded.
 
L

LadyBlu

Guest
Re: what now?

lolrogers said:
thank you for time and direction ladyblu.
i had a long talk with my daughter today,told her it was not her fault,she already knew about the possibilty of dads payments going up, says she knows he is only doing this because of it.(she is very mature for 12, 5'9" and acts like she is 14 or 15, a+ student very bright) she still didn't want to call him or visit him this weekend. i told she needed to call and talk to him about how she feels. i told her to be calm and try not to cry. she did call and she didn't cry. he was still mad but not yelling at her. he again told her it was her fault that they didn't see each other yesterday. he also told that there are going to be some new rules for her to follow. he told her to call him when she gets up and he will pick her up. she has agreed to go.
i asked her how she would feel about recording phone conservations, she said "yes please do" also asked if she could take a recorder with her on her visit. i told her i would check into it. what do i tell her? is it legal?
should i let her? she also wanted to write everything down herself and did(i was not with her when she wrote it down and have not read what she wrote). she wanted to keep journal herself i told her that was a good idea.
sorry so long winded.
I personally would not encourage her to record all her conversations with dad, but if that is something she feels the need to do, then let her. The way the recording laws work is that as long as one party to the conversation is aware it is being recorded it is admissable.

She does sound very mature for a 12 yr old. But having a 14 yr old son myself that has had the same problems withhis father I understand what you are going through. My son when he returned from his dad's this past summer was an emotional wreck. Due to his father convincing him that genital warts were hereditary in his family and he would be getting them when he got older and need to have his penis operated on to remove them. I then researched the condition for my son, gave him a sex education class and after I calmed him down and I got over being totally pissed off, emailed my ex and explained to him the type of damage he was doing psychologically and that I would do whatever was in my power to prevent him from continuing this.

It is not easy when the men do not understand that these children love them and want a relationship with them. It is hard enough trying to love both parents without causing emotional distress on a child. We as parents do not see the damage we cause until it is too late.

I just wish people would really stop and think before acting, verbally or physically on those ill feelings that they carry for the ex.
 

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