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Thread: Head lice form of neglect?

  1. #1
    pissedoffmom is offline Member
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    Head lice form of neglect?

    Tennessee.
    I am asking this for a friend. OK here is the deal. They have joint custody but mother has primary residential. She smokes pot in front of the kids along with more drugs and alcohol. Sometimes she is nice enough to send the kids to their room or outside but they can't be hidden from it 24/7. The children are 11&13. There is another son age 14 but due to his and his mother's adhd and bi polar, the father now has sole custody of him. ok basically the courts are aware of all of this but what they are not aware of is that for a year and a half now the father has been getting the children with head lice EVERY time they come over to stay. He has told the mother and she gets mad and blames EVERYONE but herself. He has paid for all of the medicine until he found out about a month ago that it was covered through his insurance. THANKS GOD! Still yet when he finds the lice (because mother won't continue checking their head or treating them) she will claim she does not even have the gas money to go get the medicine. She CLAIMS to clean their head but STILL they have lice! He only gets these children every other weekend so therefor he does not wish to keep spending the entire time cleaning heads and bedding! He feels bad because the girls are litterally scared of there mom doing their hair because she gets mad and hurts (Pulls hair and smacks them if they whine or move their head) the girls while cleaning their head.

    IS THERE ANYTHING THAT CAN BE DONE ABOUT THIS MESS?!?!?!?!?
  2. #2
    Mbarr is offline Member
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    Your friend needs to seek primary custody of the other children because of the drug/alcohol use in the home and in the presence of the children. Because custody litigation is generally a long process, my suggestion regarding the head lice is that your friend not only provide the medication for the children, but also pay someone to clean bedding, etc. at the mother's home. It is clear that mother either doesn't know how to get rid of the problem, or just fails to do so. Either way, the children are the ones who are suffering from the repeated infestations and dad needs to step up since mom hasn't.
  3. #3
    pissedoffmom is offline Member
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    well from what he stated the dcs has stepped in before and even the children informed them of the drug use. They made the mother go through a class and anger management (I think) but then everything remained the same way. SO this being said it is obvious that they don't see that smoking pot with the children in the home is a big issue. Can anyone advise me on what he should do about possibly reporting the head lice problem for over a year now. He did say that he had told the mother to call their school to notify them but she stated that would just be hurting the girls for the missed days and IF HE contacted them she would see to it that he did not get to see the kids.
  4. #4
    dmariefive is offline Junior Member
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    I am assuming that DCS is Department of Child Services. Someone needs to contact them again, and again and again - for each incident - get it documented. The case worker needs to know that the situation is not improving.

    Meanwhile dad needs to file paperwork immediately requesting custody to get those kids into a safe environment.

    My heart goes out to them.
  5. #5
    Jessleeeliz is offline Member
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    Just a tip - we had great success with DENOREX dandruff shampoo. Use it once a week on kids heads. (no more or it will burn their scalps) Get the kind with the coal tar (extra strength) in it. They use that stuff to make tires and boy does it work. Good luck.
    Last edited by Jessleeeliz; 08-09-2005 at 08:50 PM.
  6. #6
    legalcuriosity Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by pissedoffmom
    Tennessee.
    I am asking this for a friend. OK here is the deal. They have joint custody but mother has primary residential. She smokes pot in front of the kids along with more drugs and alcohol. Sometimes she is nice enough to send the kids to their room or outside but they can't be hidden from it 24/7. The children are 11&13. There is another son age 14 but due to his and his mother's adhd and bi polar, the father now has sole custody of him. ok basically the courts are aware of all of this but what they are not aware of is that for a year and a half now the father has been getting the children with head lice EVERY time they come over to stay. He has told the mother and she gets mad and blames EVERYONE but herself. He has paid for all of the medicine until he found out about a month ago that it was covered through his insurance. THANKS GOD! Still yet when he finds the lice (because mother won't continue checking their head or treating them) she will claim she does not even have the gas money to go get the medicine. She CLAIMS to clean their head but STILL they have lice! He only gets these children every other weekend so therefor he does not wish to keep spending the entire time cleaning heads and bedding! He feels bad because the girls are litterally scared of there mom doing their hair because she gets mad and hurts (Pulls hair and smacks them if they whine or move their head) the girls while cleaning their head.

    IS THERE ANYTHING THAT CAN BE DONE ABOUT THIS MESS?!?!?!?!?
    Why isn't your friend actually posting this? For all we know, we are hearing this 2nd/3rd/4th/89th person.

    Head lice is not necessarily a form of neglect. Children can get lice from their friends or classmates (i.e. sharing combs, hats, etc).

    It sounds like the mother is just as much to blame as the dad here because, according to you, the mother is making excuses to not get it treated, etc. I'll bet the dad doesn't know how to properly clean bedding and what-not. Same goes for the mom.

    The drug use will need to be proved. The fact people are telling you to call CPS over freaking head lice is ridiculous. I don't know how to treat headlice, but if I had to, I'd sure as heck educate myself. And that's what is sounds like BOTH mom AND dad need to.

    NOW!
  7. #7
    DistraughtMom22 is offline Junior Member
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    Been there done that

    My ex had a live in girlfriend who kept lice on herself and her son. My daughter continuosly had lice. CPS did remove her from going there because of the chronic problem...so call and call and call.

    Treatment from my Chinese pediatrician that worked great!!! The first night they are with you...take Virgin Olive oil...saturate their hair with it. Place a shower cap (tape around the base of the cap to hold in place if necessary) and then let them sleep in it. The lice are dead in the morning. Then use a fine tooth comb and brush out the nits. They come out very easy. Do this on every visit. Not only does it kill the lice, but its a great conditioner. My daughter and I still does this once a week, for the hair conditioning purpose. As for the bedding, etc...we took plastic and wrapped the mattresses after spraying with Lice spray and Lysol. Tape securely. Leave in place until the lice problem is solved. Vacuum carpets thoroughly before and after visitation. Place all stuffed animals and anything that has hair on it, in a plastic trash bag...after washing and drying of course...leave out of the home until lice problem is solved.

    These things helped trememdously!! Good luck!
  8. #8
    Tinaa is offline Member
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    Sounds like your problem is bigger than head lice. One year I taught in a self-contained life skills class for the severely mentally retarded. I got lice three times that year and all three times promptly spread it to my kids. It took a couple of weeks each time to get us clean of the little buggers. Unless the mom treats her home and hair brushes along with treating the kids, lice will never go away. The lice hatch between 7-10 days. You always have to treat at least twice and maybe more if you don't comb every single nit out. Wash bedding in hot, sudsy bleach water and dry pillows and stuffed animals on the hottest setting in the dryer for at least 20 minutes. We haven't had lice in several years because we are all hyper-vigilant. I hate the dang things but I feel like an expert now. Who'd of thought I would be the one bringing lice home from school?


    On a kind of funny note...One night my daughters and I were trading out combing each others hair; my younger daughter turned around and told me we looked like the monkeys on TV grooming each other. Sometimes you gotta laugh or you'll cry.
  9. #9
    casa is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by DistraughtMom22
    My ex had a live in girlfriend who kept lice on herself and her son. My daughter continuosly had lice. CPS did remove her from going there because of the chronic problem...so call and call and call.

    Treatment from my Chinese pediatrician that worked great!!! The first night they are with you...take Virgin Olive oil...saturate their hair with it. Place a shower cap (tape around the base of the cap to hold in place if necessary) and then let them sleep in it. The lice are dead in the morning. Then use a fine tooth comb and brush out the nits. They come out very easy. Do this on every visit. Not only does it kill the lice, but its a great conditioner. My daughter and I still does this once a week, for the hair conditioning purpose. As for the bedding, etc...we took plastic and wrapped the mattresses after spraying with Lice spray and Lysol. Tape securely. Leave in place until the lice problem is solved. Vacuum carpets thoroughly before and after visitation. Place all stuffed animals and anything that has hair on it, in a plastic trash bag...after washing and drying of course...leave out of the home until lice problem is solved.

    These things helped trememdously!! Good luck!
    While your advice re; Olive oil was somewhat accurate- OP should know that the olive oil treatment takes a continual 21 day program to be truly effective. Lice only live approximately 24 hours without a host, however nits live much longer and are much more difficult to see and find. Animals don't count. A major issue is that chemical treatments lose their effectiveness if used repeatedly, as the lice develop resistance (similar to over use of antibiotics) Another major issue is people treat children once, not realizing that a follow up is required within 7 to 10 days, which is the life cycle of the nit. The most common reason for infestation is improper combing.

    to OP: Many schools have a no-nit policy and definately should be notified...otherwise the children could be giving them to classmates and then even if they were effectively treated- get them right back again from friends/neighbors etc. The problem here seems to be that Mom is not properly treating her house and children (or herself! ) and that presents an ongoing problem.

    check this website from the National Pediculosus Association: [url]http://www.headlice.org/faq/index.htm[/url]
  10. #10
    rmet4nzkx is offline Senior Member
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    RMET's Proprietary Head Lice "cure"
    1 cap 3% Hydrogen Perioxide
    1 cap clear ammonia
    1 Tbs. Shampoo
    container
    double for long/thick hair

    Combine ingredients in container and shake until foamy. Apply to hair and work through until saturated, let sit 10 minutes. Take care to keep away from eyes.

    Wash and rinse well in 10 minutes and condition as needed. This should not bleach out hair but is long enough to kill the lice and remove the nits all in one step without nit picking! Repeat as needed. For adults, an ammonia/perioxide based hair coloring may work as well

    It is essential to clean bedding, hair care, and hats. Teach your children to not share these items, even though they usually will forget! It is a common problem in schools and camps, not always a sign of neglect.
  11. #11
    pissedoffmom is offline Member
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    I don't see why it matters who types the words but the reason why he is not asking on here is because he does not have a computer and being military he don't get much time. Put it this way, I know that the dad knows how to treat the lice problem. I have even helped him treat and comb their hair, wash the bedding, wash ALL toys (EVEN PLASTIC TOYS) and vaccum the floors after putting flea and lice killer on the floors. The problem is as most of you have said you have to keep combing out the nits and inform others. We have told the children to NEVER share brushes, hats or even hairbows! the thing of it is that mom supposedly informs all their friends parents and treats her home but they ALWAYS come back with lice. I personally thought and ask the dad if possibly they were getting it from school. This question was answered because they have been out of school for over 2 months now. THIS IS CRAZY!!! I think alot of this man and his children and just to emphasize on how bad the oldest was infested at one time..... we spent 4 hours combing through this childs head for 2 days. This was just to get the biggest part!!!! I am sorry but to be sitting there with a child that you can't hardly find a piece of hair that is free of lice or nits is discusting. The mother threatened to cut all their hair off. This is why I stepped into the lice cleaning process. So yeah the dad knows what to do.... he just can't do it all himself if the mom does not help.
    Justme84 likes this.
  12. #12
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Actually, cutting the hair probably makes more sense than not.
  13. #13
    pissedoffmom is offline Member
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    No actually it does not matter unless you plan on shaving it. No matter the length you will still have the same thickness and amount of lice. It just takes time and someone that will continue cleaning their head. It just seems like the dad cleans their head as good as he can and sends them back for mom to keep check and to continue combing but yet she obviously is doing nothing. I personally bought their mother a lice comb and the next time I ask the girls if she used it and they said no. Just seems like a lossing battle as long as their mother is not doing her part.
  14. #14
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Well, if it's shorter, it's easier to comb out. If it's easier to comb out, Mom doesn't have to struggle with it as much and get pissed off at the girls. It's hair. It grows back.
  15. #15
    TNBSMommy is offline Member
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    Cutting long hair does make things easier... when my daughter was four, she got lice from a babysitter, well, we both have thick dark hair, and by the time I realized she had them, I had them too. I had hair down to my waist(and how's this for embarrassing?) I had to ask my ex's wife to comb my hair out for me!!!!! I didn't have anyone to do it... After two hours, we hadn't made it through a quarter of my hair, I told her hang on, grabbed a pair of scissors, and had her cut it off to my shoulders!!! Things went aLOT quicker.

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