Help, I found out last night he's doing drugs again

[nlytind1]

California
My original post was as follows:
Mediator problems

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I am in the state of california. Is it possible to request another mediator if the one assigned to the case is not being fair. 4 months ago, our proposed agreement was that I continue in my drug addiction classes (which I enrolled in myself--not court ordered) and bring proof of attendance and progress to the next appointment with the mediator. She also at this time stated I was to go to 3 additional NA classes per week and bring proof of this. The father (who has 3 domestic violence convictions against me and battery against my teenage son was ordered to continue in his anger management classes. I showed my progress report from my addiction classes(which was great) to the mediator yesterday, she didn't even look at it and handed it back to me, I explained that I was unable to attend 3 NA classes per week as I am the supervisor of a layaway department in a major retail establishment and my schedule during the christmas season wouldn't permit it. I have to work to support my child. She interrupted me before I finished and told me she felt I was still struggling with my addiction. She asked the father about his anger management classes and when he told her he had missed a few because of his work schedule, she accepted it. This to me is BS. Now she wants to give custody to his mother. My son told me 2 days ago right out of the blue taht he always hears grandma saying bad things about me and expressed how angry this made him. He also said she asks him questions about me all the time. I dont know what to do. Now the mediator wants to talk to his mother and our 9 year old son. His father and I just want to drop the case because we both realize we can do this without the courts. Can we do this without this mediator involving CPS and if not can we get a different mediator?
New Question:
Last night he and his mother refused to let me see my son and I found out he is doing drugs again. Everything he has been telling me is a lie. We go back to court tomorrow, can I ask for a hair follicle test to be done on him? I am willing to pay for it. Can I get an attorney this late in the game, how can I do that if court is 8 in the morning and today is Sunday. I finally got my income tax check and can afford an attorney now. Please help. With him refusing to bring my son to see me last night, I'm afraid what he will do. I don't know what to do next.

 

[casa]

California
My original post was as follows:
Mediator problems

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am in the state of california. Is it possible to request another mediator if the one assigned to the case is not being fair. 4 months ago, our proposed agreement was that I continue in my drug addiction classes (which I enrolled in myself--not court ordered) and bring proof of attendance and progress to the next appointment with the mediator. She also at this time stated I was to go to 3 additional NA classes per week and bring proof of this. The father (who has 3 domestic violence convictions against me and battery against my teenage son was ordered to continue in his anger management classes. I showed my progress report from my addiction classes(which was great) to the mediator yesterday, she didn't even look at it and handed it back to me, I explained that I was unable to attend 3 NA classes per week as I am the supervisor of a layaway department in a major retail establishment and my schedule during the christmas season wouldn't permit it. I have to work to support my child. She interrupted me before I finished and told me she felt I was still struggling with my addiction. She asked the father about his anger management classes and when he told her he had missed a few because of his work schedule, she accepted it. This to me is BS. Now she wants to give custody to his mother. My son told me 2 days ago right out of the blue taht he always hears grandma saying bad things about me and expressed how angry this made him. He also said she asks him questions about me all the time. I dont know what to do. Now the mediator wants to talk to his mother and our 9 year old son. His father and I just want to drop the case because we both realize we can do this without the courts. Can we do this without this mediator involving CPS and if not can we get a different mediator?
New Question:
Last night he and his mother refused to let me see my son and I found out he is doing drugs again. Everything he has been telling me is a lie. We go back to court tomorrow, can I ask for a hair follicle test to be done on him? I am willing to pay for it. Can I get an attorney this late in the game, how can I do that if court is 8 in the morning and today is Sunday. I finally got my income tax check and can afford an attorney now. Please help. With him refusing to bring my son to see me last night, I'm afraid what he will do. I don't know what to do next.

The chances of requesting another mediator is slim to none in CA( this has less to do with unfairness as it does the current CA budget. ie; don't take it personally)...review your pamphlet given at mediation in re; what to do if you want a different mediator.

Since there is past drug use proven in documents you have a good chance of a judge ordering hair follicle testing ( the testing of choice in proven drug history cases in CA ) Be willing/prepared to undergo the same.

Yes you can get an attorney this late in the game- they will petition the court for a continuance if they don't feel they have enough time to review/prepare for the hearing.

 

[m.geragos]

A little confused!


A mediator is only assigned to families as a resource to solve issues of child custody/support prior to going before a judge. If the parents are unable to reach an agreement for the best interest of their child in mediation, the mediator will (most likely) give the judge a summary of what happened during the mediation session.

The mediator has no authority to instruct you to seek classes or verify/excuse non-attendance. The mediator willl offer suggestions that will help the parents reach an agreement for the best interest of the child.

Prior to your hearing, talk with Dad...if you both want this handled outside of the court, come to an agreement. Go to the mediation session or if you are now in front of a judge and present your arrangement.

Why would the mediator get CPS involved?

Unless there is a court order for visitation currently in effect, your ex's mom cannot refuse you! If no order exists, next time either Dad or Gma interfer, call for an law enforcement officer (police) to assist you.

As far as the "bad mouthing", it isn't suppose to happen...but it is basically unavoidable! Humans are prone to "talk smack". Even the most "Religious" are plagued by gossipping and speaking badly of others.