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Help in Idaho!!!

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H

Highlystressed

Guest
My exhusband left me pregnant and with two kids, about a year and a half ago, he hasn't wanted to see the kids all of this time. The times he has wanted to see them were on the kids birthdaays and on Christmas. When I took them to his parents house all he did was watch t.v. and not pay attention to the kids.

Well, now he's apperntly living with some women and her two kids and has all of a sudden turned into father of the year. Which I don't believe, I've known him for 12 years, we were married for 5 of those years and people like him don't just change in a matter of months. I have let him take the kids a couple of times, during the day but I'm very concerned about them staying the whole weekend because for one, the baby has seen him a total of three times in her life and she's 10 months old. She does not know him from the guy next door. And when he did take her the 2 times, she came back crying and her eyes were swollen like she had been crying the whole time, which he denies.And she wasn't her happy self for four days, I'm not exagerating either. The other thing is the two older kids ages 5 and 3 still sleep with me most of the time, I know I shouldn't have started this bad habit but when they were baby's I was by myself all the time and was still expected to work and take care of all the household duties and I was tired. So I let the kids sleep with me and It's been hard breaking them from that but that's how things are. And if they go to their dad's house it wouldn't be right for the kids to sleep with their dad and his girlfriend.

I was advised by a lawyer that I don't have to let the baby go with him until a judge has ordered me to. And that's just what I did. He came to my house and started yelling a swearing at me in front of my kids, telling me that he was going to get sole custody of the kids and that I'm going to be able to see them.

The thought of this kills.
He also thinks because the kids and I are living with my parents and the fact that I'm having a hard time finding a job in this one horse town that he has a better chance of getting the kids.
When he's the one that left us, with a 300 dollar car payment and doctor bills and other debts and because of this my credit is shot. The welfare is not helping me at all. My parents are my life savers, if it weren't for them we'd probably would be living in my car or worse.

Anyway, I'm very scared that a judge that's for father's rights would be crazy enough to give him sole custody of my kids based on me living with my parents. It's not like I'm going to live with them for ever, just until I can find housing that I can afford. Until then I'm here.

Anyone have any answers for me, of suggestions.
I'd really appreciated it.
Linda
 


I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
My response:

You have nothing to be concerned about. Unless you're a drug addict or an alcoholic, his chances of getting anything other than regular visitation is remote to non-existent.

Custody has nothing to do with where you live or if you're living with your parents. Do you have any idea how many parents live with their own parents in this country ? If your ex's theory for custody was true, then every parent who is unfortunate enough to not have their very own roof, and lost their children because of that, would be an epidemic in this country.

It's not, and never has been.

IAAL
 

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