Why did you marry such a violent man in 2000 and then have children with him?
My soon-to-be-ex husband of 12 years has a history of aggravated assault and harassment and is very controlling. He was in a gang in the 90s and has been on probation twice- once was around 1996 when beat a man almost to death and was put in jail for 6mo. and was sentenced to two years probation, and once was last year when he lost control more than usual and hit me in the face and I called the police.
Okay so last year he was sentenced for hitting you and you only left him a year later?
He pleaded guilty to aggravated assault and was sentenced to a year of probation and anger management. He likes to brag about beating people, and he is very very abusive, and he knows how to manipulate people very well. Only this Easter was I able to finally be freed from him, not without help.
And you allowed it in that you never pressed charges until last year and you didn't leave and you consented to not working.
The abuse I have suffered over the years is basically textbook, he is intimidating, he used guilt and coercion to get what he wants, he made many threats, he is verbally abusive and humiliates me in front of his friends. He isolated me from MY friends, he minimizes and denies his behavior if he isn't blaming me or others. He uses the children, he abuses authority, and he has complete financial control; I was not allowed to get a job or have my own vehicle for years. Then he would hit me or abuse me sexually.
Why was your mother allowing the visits? When were you awarded the PFA?
I was awarded a 3yr Protection From Abuse order and Temporary Custody of our two children (4yrs. and, 5mo. girls) who he is neglectful of, and I was solely responsible for parenting. I am involved at the school where my eldest child attends, and took them to the doctors etc. He has made unauthorized visits with my eldest daughter when she is at my mother's house, against the rules of the PFA, and have made many reports with my local police department AND to his former probation officer while he was still on probation before the PFA was in order.
He was abusive and yet he LEFT you last month? In other words you would still be with him if he hadn't left.
When he left in April he closed our bank account, took the only vehicle and some documents, and has not provided any type of support financially or otherwise.
What evidence do you have that he is harmful or abusive to the children?
He has made FALSE and defamatory statements about myself and others to gain power. I have lost friends, family and respect through this whole process, just because I'm trying to keep my kids SAFE. He has reunited former members of his old gang in Easton, PA and I fear for my children, and further damage to myself and others. I
You better have admissible evidence that he is a danger to the children and not just allegations. What convictions does he have for abusing the children? What proof do you have that he has ever harmed the children? You also better attempt to get an attorney. Because if you don't get an attorney he may very well be able to be get custody of HIS children.
Near the end of April I gained a job and I am now an assistant manager. I am collecting food stamps and other assistance to help pay for our apartment, which is now in my name only, from Social Services until I can get child support through the courts. I have barely enough money to get by right now and I walk to work while my good friend stays with my children. Unfortunately I was not always able to document things as I was terrified of him, and things would always get worse. I was afraid he was going to hurt my family or even the children if I sought help of any kind. My concern is that he has filed for custody of our children and has hired a lawyer. I need to know what to do, what to say, things I need to prove in court. Please help.
Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.
Attorney-GAL in Ohio.
I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.