HELP!! Relinquish Parental Rights North Carolina

[tm1969]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Custody agreement NC, currently residing in SC

I have recently married a woman from North Carolina. I live in South Carolina; her and her daughter moved here within the past month. My wife has sole custody of her 7 year old daughter. The child's biological father has visitation every other weekend. The child's biological father has been arrested for drugs, as well as consorts with other known drug dealers and users (mostly marijuana).

Her mother and I would like to figure out a way to get his parental rights revoked. My wife states that this is nearly impossible in the state of NC. The child's biological father has threatened her, and her mother, but the courts did nothing. When the child returns home to us after her bi-weekly visitation she is a different person, unhappy, withdrawn, etc.

The current custody agreement states that the child can not be exposed to known drug offenders or put in a position where such individuals can be present, however this happens regularly; the biological father's mother is a know marijuana dealer.

I want so much to adopt this little girl, and give her the family she deserves, but her mother and I are dumbfounded as to how to get her biological father's rights taken away. He refuses to relinquish them stating "I pay good money for her, so I'm going to get my time with her." Even though he is significantly behind in his child support, and pays next to nothing when he's called into court and threatened with jail (the minimum presented by the court is approximately $360 a quarter). He is also supposed to provide medical insurance, but never has. We have no way of proving that the chid is being exposed to these individuals, as they all live in rural areas and there's no way for a private investigator to get photos or other incriminating information etc.

I guess I'm looking for some direction. My wife feels the situation is hopeless, and this man will continue to disrupt our family. Is there anyone out there who has run into a situation like this? ... is familiar with this type of situation in the state of NC? Is there anything I can do leveraging SC law, even though the custody agreement is drawn in NC?
Since my wife and the child are residing here in SC does that pose any potential alternatives?

Any help anyone can give, we would be so eternally grateful. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

 

[Farfalla]

It is almost impossible to get a parent’s rights revoked. You can give up on that one. He’s involved in that he does pay some child support and more importantly he spends time with the child. Even if all the drug stuff is proven, he can have supervised visitation.

Wife (NOT YOU) can bring proof of his drug use to the courts, ask that he be tested, ask that he only get supervised visitation.

The child's biological father has visitation every other weekend. The child's biological father has been arrested for drugs, as well as consorts with other known drug dealers and users (mostly marijuana). \.

Um, why are you qualifying father with ‘biological’. He is the ONLY father she has. “Biological’ as opposed to what… un-natural father? Does this make you the ‘unnatural-father’? You are a legal stranger to in this situation and greatly overstepping your bounds. If you care for this child, stop minimizing her father by calling him ‘bio-dad’.

She is 50% him, anything that diminishes him, diminishes her.

You only just married her mom. Mom has a history of not forming long term relationships with men. It’s more than premature for you to even consider taking away parental rights (not that you can) and adopting this child. What is the big rush? Why do you have to adopt her? You married a woman with a child with another man. You cannot now ‘erase’ him.

I want so much to adopt this little girl, and give her the family she deserves,

Your wife chose this man as the father of her child. Her child has the family she chose. Some choices cannot be taken back.

but her mother and I are dumbfounded as to how to get her biological father's rights taken away. He refuses to relinquish them stating "I pay good money for her, so I'm going to get my time with her." Even though he is significantly behind in his child support, and pays next to nothing when he's called into court and threatened with jail (the minimum presented by the court is approximately $360 a quarter). ….

Child support is not a fee for access. They are separate issues. You wife had a baby with a man who does not want to help with the financial responsibilities of raising a child. You knew that before you got married. You accepted it. That’s your life.

Is there anyone out there who has run into a situation like this? ... is familiar with this type of situation in the state of NC? Is there anything I can do leveraging SC law, even though the custody agreement is drawn in NC?

I had a similar situation with marrying a man who had custody of his children. His ex is a drug user and an alcoholic. She never paid a penny of child support nor would my husband go after it as he did ot want to hurt his children by fighting with his ex. I accepted that. I also accepted the legal reality… they already have a mother whom they love despite her imperfections. My husband went to court and was able to convince the judge to have to take drug tests. Until she was clean she only had supervised visitation. After she was clean the judge put restrictions on who could be around them. But there really was little my husband could do since he could not watch 24/7. Instead he took them to counseling so they could learn to handle the situation. They are not 18 and 21 (there is a 21 birthday bash going on down stairs tonight ) And they choose to live with us still because while they love their mom with all her imperfections they know where they are cared for and safe.

 

[Bloopy]

... The child's biological father has visitation every other weekend. The child's biological father has been arrested for drugs, as well as consorts with other known drug dealers and users (mostly marijuana)...

Her mother and I would like to figure out a way to get his parental rights revoked. My wife states that this is nearly impossible in the state of NC...

I want so much to adopt this little girl, and give her the family she deserves, but her mother and I are dumbfounded as to how to get her biological father's rights taken away... He refuses to relinquish them stating "I pay good money for her, so I'm going to get my time with her..."

Wow. The time to "give her the family she deserves" was upon procreating.

Unless Dad was arrested for selling with drugs WITH the child or was stuffing them down her throat, his crimes are not going to cause him to lose his parental rights.

He's been a part of the child's life and will continue doing so although the terms may change.

He has been given a sentence for his crimes. You do not win his child.

Be an excellent member of that child's support circle. Don't attemt to erase either of her parents.

 

[Bloopy]

Sigh.

Hit refresh particularly when typing slowly.

If I keep telling this to myself, maybe I'll heed it.