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Holiday vs. Mid-Week Dinner Date Time

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wileybunch

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Nevada

Husband changed "mid-week" dinner date night from Tuesday to Monday because of daughter's Tue night soccer practices as part of last CO several months ago. Monday is MLK holiday that is Mom's this year. This holiday doesn't specify start/end time of the holiday period like Thanksgiving and Christmas do. CO time for Dad is 5:15-8:15PM Monday nights. Mom/Dad just recently agreed to change that a little b/c soccer practice moved to Monday night 5-7 so Dad picks daughter up there early (she has 2 practices/week) and his parenting time goes to 8:45PM now. On MLK evening, there probably isn't any soccer practice. Haven't heard there isn't (Mom isn't the best at sharing details), but assuming so.

All that said, will Dad be having parenting time MLK night, in your opinion?
 


casa

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Nevada

Husband changed "mid-week" dinner date night from Tuesday to Monday because of daughter's Tue night soccer practices as part of last CO several months ago. Monday is MLK holiday that is Mom's this year. This holiday doesn't specify start/end time of the holiday period like Thanksgiving and Christmas do. CO time for Dad is 5:15-8:15PM Monday nights. Mom/Dad just recently agreed to change that a little b/c soccer practice moved to Monday night 5-7 so Dad picks daughter up there early (she has 2 practices/week) and his parenting time goes to 8:45PM now. On MLK evening, there probably isn't any soccer practice. Haven't heard there isn't (Mom isn't the best at sharing details), but assuming so.

All that said, will Dad be having parenting time MLK night, in your opinion?
Holidays DO supercede 'normal' visitation schedules. However, since Mom & Dad have both amended the schedule themselves- it could go either way. I would just make a courtesy call to Mom asking if THIS Mon. (being a holiday & all) you will be utilizing the New Schedule.

And then, whatever the outcome is, let it go. It's 3 hours of your life, not a hill worth dying on.
 

Isis1

Senior Member
in my situation, (not legal advise) i would always let NCP pick another day that week so he still gets his visitation time. i know it's a different state then yours, but if i'm not mistaken holidays do supercede the regular weekday schedule.

in my particular instance, one of the children's b-day landed on a school day and a visitation day. so i gave the NCP an additional weekday dinner time and had him start his birthday visitation earlier right after school.
 

wileybunch

Senior Member
in my situation, (not legal advise) i would always let NCP pick another day that week so he still gets his visitation time. i know it's a different state then yours, but if i'm not mistaken holidays do supercede the regular weekday schedule.

in my particular instance, one of the children's b-day landed on a school day and a visitation day. so i gave the NCP an additional weekday dinner time and had him start his birthday visitation earlier right after school.
You are such a considerate CP! :)

Holidays DO supercede 'normal' visitation schedules. However, since Mom & Dad have both amended the schedule themselves- it could go either way. I would just make a courtesy call to Mom asking if THIS Mon. (being a holiday & all) you will be utilizing the New Schedule.

And then, whatever the outcome is, let it go. It's 3 hours of your life, not a hill worth dying on.
I thought ppl would say no way no how. :) I agree w/your advice.

Thanks guys.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I'd also call Mom. But honestly? Unless y'all actually celebrate MLK Day in some meaningful way, I personally wouldn't see it as a "holiday" that should conflict with Dad's evening with the kid. <shrug>
 

Bloopy

Senior Member
I'd also call Mom. But honestly? Unless y'all actually celebrate MLK Day in some meaningful way, I personally wouldn't see it as a "holiday" that should conflict with Dad's evening with the kid. <shrug>
I don’t have a ****** Luther King candelabra or anything.

I guess “celebrating” MLK weekend would involve going somewhere special. Even if a trip were planned, chances are they would have returned in time for Dad’s visitation.

It's one of those instances where going strictly by the CO, doesn’t make the most sense. I’m glad Wiley was considerate enough to ask and sees CASA’s point
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I don’t have a ****** Luther King candelabra or anything.

I guess “celebrating” MLK weekend would involve going somewhere special. Even if a trip were planned, chances are they would have returned in time for Dad’s visitation.
I would imagine that there are people who view it as much more than a shopping day. For instance, those actively involved in civil rights issues. I could then see that parent taking the kid to some sort of memorial service, etc. Which may or may not extend into the evening.

But for most people, it's a day off school and *maybe* one off work. Period. Nothing significant (no offense intended!)
 

wileybunch

Senior Member
I know my husband doesn't expect her to actually be celebrating the holiday to be entitled to it so that's not an issue. :)

So he asked if they could just switch Mon night to Tue night and Mom said no, she has her "all day" on the holiday and doesn't owe him another day in trade. She wasn't ultra awful like she usually is in her delivery (supposedly turning over a new leaf after 9 years), but she doesn't want to give an inch, either, despite the fact he let her pick the daughter up early last night (1-1/4 hrs) so they could skip out of town for a quick getaway and he also let her go home early from Christmas visit on 1/5 vs. 1/6 b/c her stepgrandfather died and let her skip that week's mid-week visitation b/c of that also -- of course, he's not a jerk) but still, she doesn't ever give an inch even requires daughter to come home Sunday night from Dad when he has the holiday the next morning. Since he knows it's "all day" now, when he has her for President's Day, I guess she can go home Sun night, get home at 8:45PM then he can get her at midnight and Mom can come get her Monday night at midnight (using her interpretation and all ;)).
 
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Bloopy

Senior Member
I know my husband doesn't expect her to actually be celebrating the holiday to be entitled to it so that's not an issue. :)

So he asked if they could just switch Mon night to Tue night and Mom said no, she has her "all day" on the holiday and doesn't owe him another day in trade. She wasn't ultra awful like she usually is in her delivery (supposedly turning over a new leaf after 9 years), but she doesn't want to give an inch, either, despite the fact he let her pick the daughter up early last night (1-1/4 hrs) so they could skip out of town for a quick getaway and he also let her go home early from Christmas visit on 1/5 vs. 1/6 b/c her stepgrandfather died and let her skip that week's mid-week visitation b/c of that also -- of course, he's not a jerk)
:rolleyes:

So he can :D CHEERFULLY :D say he’ll be exercising his weekday visitation on Tuesday as per the court order. He’d be amiable to another day this week, or he can file contempt.
 

wileybunch

Senior Member
:rolleyes:

So he can :D CHEERFULLY :D say he’ll be exercising his weekday visitation on Tuesday as per the court order. He’d be amiable to another day this week, or he can file contempt.
Well, the CO says Monday as of Aug court/Oct filing of CO. That was b/c soccer was Tuesday, his previous night that they'd had in place since 2001. Now soccer's Monday so they have a verbal agreement to shift Monday's time a little later, but I think it's kinda crap that he moves the date to accommodate DD and Mom sees nothing wrong with denying a mid-week visit nonetheless.
 

CJane

Senior Member
Honestly? I don't get why his visitation got moved due to soccer. I lose a couple of hours out of Tuesday nights because Wild has BBall practice. I'm not trying to take additional time from her father to 'make up' for that. It's called 'parenting time' for a reason.

What am I missing here?
 

Bloopy

Senior Member
Well, the CO says Monday as of Aug court/Oct filing of CO. That was b/c soccer was Tuesday, his previous night that they'd had in place since 2001. Now soccer's Monday so they have a verbal agreement to shift Monday's time a little later, but I think it's kinda crap that he moves the date to accommodate DD and Mom sees nothing wrong with denying a mid-week visit nonetheless.
Oops. Thought it was a back door deal.

Honestly? I don't get why his visitation got moved due to soccer. I lose a couple of hours out of Tuesday nights because Wild has BBall practice. I'm not trying to take additional time from her father to 'make up' for that. It's called 'parenting time' for a reason.

What am I missing here?
Dad gets her after soccer? I guess that's just easier. He's not avoiding soccer night.
 
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CJane

Senior Member
Oops. Thought it was a back door deal.



Dad gets her after soccer? I guess that's just easier. He's not avoiding soccer night.
Dad used to have Tuesday nights. It was moved to Monday 'due to soccer'. NOW, Soccer is Monday night and so Dad's time is shifted (by verbal agreement).

What I don't get is WHY times were changed/shifted and yet the claim is that Mom is totally unreasonable and never adjusts for Dad.

He gets 'non-soccer' time every week? Isn't THAT a concession?
 

wileybunch

Senior Member
Dad used to have Tuesday nights. It was moved to Monday 'due to soccer'. NOW, Soccer is Monday night and so Dad's time is shifted (by verbal agreement).

What I don't get is WHY times were changed/shifted and yet the claim is that Mom is totally unreasonable and never adjusts for Dad.

He gets 'non-soccer' time every week? Isn't THAT a concession?
The Tue to Mon change was part of the new CO that came after the contempt hearing a few months ago. The why things were shifted is because with 2 weekends/month for parenting time with 1 of the 2 days being largely consumed by soccer for the daughter, it's unreasonable to expect every mid-week visit would also be consumed by soccer. The judge said it was up to Dad what was done on "his time" but husband isn't going to play that card, but neither is he going to whittle his time down to next to nothing.

The adjustments I'm talking about is to what's in the order. Since the new order, Mom asks quite a bit for adjustments for things she wants to do (not talking about adjusting or accommodating for child's sports or social activities). I gave some examples previously including for the trip they are currently on.
 

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