Homework and school attendance.

[R8drnation]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I currently have joint legal and physical 50/50 custody of my child. Prior to that it was 62/38 - I work and she didn't therefore they gave her more time. Mom had our child during the week and I was given the 1st, 3rd, and 4th weekends of the month with one overnight on Tuesday's on the 2nd week of the month. We recently had a parent teacher conference and I we were told she had missed school assignments. I followed up with my child's teacher and was made aware that she was in fact missing 10 out of 21 weeks worth of homework, so I checked with the front office to see how her attendance has been while she was in moms custody and came to find out that she has 11 tardiness on record - most of which are on Fridays and those are homework turn in days. Four of those Fridays that my child is missing assignments are days my child happened to be late as well. Furthermore after speaking to the secretary at the school she mentioned that each occurrence that my child is late it is for 20 plus minutes. I then checked again with my child's teacher to see what insight she might be able to provide and she mentioned that my child is late frequently but that she isn't the worst offender. As if that is something to be proud of. My concern is that mom doesn't take my daughters education seriously or extra curricular activities. I have provided my daughter with a backpack from day one and then I never saw it back. Every time I ask for it mom says I need to stop "crying about the stupid backpack and that she doesn't need it." My child is in kindergarten and I do not want my child to develope bad habits from the start, the mom will not cooperate with me and she just gets very defensive about it and puts the blame on me when I have not been able to take part in my child's education until recently and now I have my child turning in homework on Wednesday instead of Fridays to make sure it gets turned in since she goes back to mom on Wednesday and I have no guarantee that it will be turned in.

Is there anything legally that can be done if she doesn't want to make my daughters education a priority? I feel like I have my hands tied and would really appreciate some advice as this affects my daughters education. Thank you.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I currently have joint legal and physical 50/50 custody of my child. Prior to that it was 62/38 - I work and she didn't therefore they gave her more time. Mom had our child during the week and I was given the 1st, 3rd, and 4th weekends of the month with one overnight on Tuesday's on the 2nd week of the month. We recently had a parent teacher conference and I we were told she had missed school assignments. I followed up with my child's teacher and was made aware that she was in fact missing 10 out of 21 weeks worth of homework, so I checked with the front office to see how her attendance has been while she was in moms custody and came to find out that she has 11 tardiness on record - most of which are on Fridays and those are homework turn in days. Four of those Fridays that my child is missing assignments are days my child happened to be late as well. Furthermore after speaking to the secretary at the school she mentioned that each occurrence that my child is late it is for 20 plus minutes. I then checked again with my child's teacher to see what insight she might be able to provide and she mentioned that my child is late frequently but that she isn't the worst offender. As if that is something to be proud of. My concern is that mom doesn't take my daughters education seriously or extra curricular activities. I have provided my daughter with a backpack from day one and then I never saw it back. Every time I ask for it mom says I need to stop "crying about the stupid backpack and that she doesn't need it." My child is in kindergarten and I do not want my child to develope bad habits from the start, the mom will not cooperate with me and she just gets very defensive about it and puts the blame on me when I have not been able to take part in my child's education until recently and now I have my child turning in homework on Wednesday instead of Fridays to make sure it gets turned in since she goes back to mom on Wednesday and I have no guarantee that it will be turned in.

Is there anything legally that can be done if she doesn't want to make my daughters education a priority? I feel like I have my hands tied and would really appreciate some advice as this affects my daughters education. Thank you.

Dad, to be honest you should probably lighten up just a bit. Your child is only in Kindergarten. If the same problems go on in 1st grade, then you might want to address the issues.

 

[Ohiogal]

To be honest, if your child is missing all that homework during some of that time wasn't she with you? Are you working on her homework with her EVERY night? Are you helping her every night you have her with homework? What are you doing to instill in her the value of education? HOw many tardies does she have with you? How many homework assignments has she missed with you? You told part of the story but you weren't that specific about your role in this.

 

[CdwJava]

Homework ... in kindergarten?!?! What the heck would THAT be? Colors? Writing letters? I'm having a hard time recalling what my kids ever brought home at that level, and I will have to ask my wife (who taught kindergarten for a few years) what this might entail.

In any event, if it comes down to it, you may have to revisit the custody and visitation agreement and add some stipulation regarding attendance at school and diligence with school work if it comes down to it.

I wouldn't be too stressed about your kindergartener developing bad habits in kindergarten, because this is not quite the homework intensive stage of schooling. Maybe in 1st grade and beyond, but right now the "homework" is more than likely very basic.

 

[tuffbrk]

You want Mom to take your child's kindergarten education and extra-curricular activities seriously? It's May, Dude. Little late for this year.

And extra curricular activities are supposed to be about exploring possibilities and...oh wait - we're talking kindergarten here right? They are supposed to be FUN - not something to be taken seriously. Sheesh!

And - oh hey - congrats on buying the backpack. Proves what a fabulous parent you are and shows how serious you take your child's kindergarten education. Way to go on that.

Lighten up and enjoy the weekend.

 

[ReignBoots]

Homework ... in kindergarten?!?! What the heck would THAT be? Colors? Writing letters? I'm having a hard time recalling what my kids ever brought home at that level, and I will have to ask my wife (who taught kindergarten for a few years) what this might entail.

My daughter is in full-day public kindergarten. She gets a packet of homework each Monday that is due on Friday (basic math, matching, patterns, logic, letters, numbers, etc... which have progressed as the year has). She also has spelling tests on Fridays and is tested for sight words every Friday. Although I never went to kindergarten myself, I don't recall having that much homework until perhaps 5th or 6th grade!

We spend at minimum an hour each night completing homework and practicing words (spelling and reading). With her attention span it can be quite the challenge, so sometimes we have to break it up, or just abandon it one day and spend twice as much time the next day. I'm sure there are kids who do not finish their homework or practice their words, and therefore do not continue on to the next levels subsequent weeks.

 

[proud_parent]

My daughter is in full-day public kindergarten. She gets a packet of homework each Monday that is due on Friday (basic math, matching, patterns, logic, letters, numbers, etc... which have progressed as the year has). She also has spelling tests on Fridays and is tested for sight words every Friday. Although I never went to kindergarten myself, I don't recall having that much homework until perhaps 5th or 6th grade!

We spend at minimum an hour each night completing homework and practicing words (spelling and reading). With her attention span it can be quite the challenge, so sometimes we have to break it up, or just abandon it one day and spend twice as much time the next day. I'm sure there are kids who do not finish their homework or practice their words, and therefore do not continue on to the next levels subsequent weeks.

For what it's worth, my kindergartener receives very similar homework to what OP has described, although we average only 30 minutes per night.

That said, I agree with the other responders. I don't see that you have any cause for legal action at this stage. Kindergarten attendance isn't even compulsory in your state. At least, not yet...
http://leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/postquery?bill_number=ab_2203&sess=CUR&house=B
http://leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/postquery?bill_number=ab_1772&sess=CUR&house=B


Continue to make education a priority on your home, and continue to work with Mom in hopes that she'll eventually come around.

 

[nextwife]

Homework was also given at my child,s k5. Not much in k4, though. Kids entering first grade in many districts are expected to have certain basic reading and numbers skills.

 

[LdiJ]

For what it's worth, my kindergartener receives very similar homework to what OP has described, although we average only 30 minutes per night.

That said, I agree with the other responders. I don't see that you have any cause for legal action at this stage. Kindergarten attendance isn't even compulsory in your state. At least, not yet...
http://leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/postquery?bill_number=ab_2203&sess=CUR&house=B
http://leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/postquery?bill_number=ab_1772&sess=CUR&house=B


Continue to make education a priority on your home, and continue to work with Mom in hopes that she'll eventually come around.

My granddaughter has the same exact situation as well. We can get it all done in one evening with a little perseverance, but its better in two. I would say no more than 1 1/2 to 2 hours total time even when her attention lags.

 

[R8drnation]

To be honest, if your child is missing all that homework during some of that time wasn't she with you? Are you working on her homework with her EVERY night? Are you helping her every night you have her with homework? What are you doing to instill in her the value of education? HOw many tardies does she have with you? How many homework assignments has she missed with you? You told part of the story but you weren't that specific about your role in this.

SHe has had 1 5min tardy while in my custody, no absences, and no missed assignments. and yes I do help my daughter with her HW every night she is with me. She has a great sense of what EDUCATION means. I do my best to make her understand that her only responsibility is School at this point.

 

[R8drnation]

Homework ... in kindergarten?!?! What the heck would THAT be? Colors? Writing letters? I'm having a hard time recalling what my kids ever brought home at that level, and I will have to ask my wife (who taught kindergarten for a few years) what this might entail.

In any event, if it comes down to it, you may have to revisit the custody and visitation agreement and add some stipulation regarding attendance at school and diligence with school work if it comes down to it.

I wouldn't be too stressed about your kindergartener developing bad habits in kindergarten, because this is not quite the homework intensive stage of schooling. Maybe in 1st grade and beyond, but right now the "homework" is more than likely very basic.

Everyone has to start their education somewhere, whether that involves tying your shoes or writing your name. Kindergarten is preparatory to 1st grade and 1st grade is preparatory for 2nd grade and so forth. Kindergarten HW is letter recognition, letter sounds, sight words, reading readiness, fundemental math concepts, plus responsibility. In regards to HW intensiveness, my daughter had HW every night of the week, with the exception of Friday night.

 

[R8drnation]

You want Mom to take your child's kindergarten education and extra-curricular activities seriously? It's May, Dude. Little late for this year.

And extra curricular activities are supposed to be about exploring possibilities and...oh wait - we're talking kindergarten here right? They are supposed to be FUN - not something to be taken seriously. Sheesh!

And - oh hey - congrats on buying the backpack. Proves what a fabulous parent you are and shows how serious you take your child's kindergarten education. Way to go on that.

Lighten up and enjoy the weekend.

=) Yes, I do believe extra curricular activities are to be FUN therefore I enrolled her in soccer which she loves and Cheer which she can't get enough of. SImply because I posted this in May does not mean my concern had rescently begun. I have had this concern since my daugther was in preschool. This is continuous behavior on mothers part. The backpack ordeal isn't to prove who is a better parent or to show that this is the ONLY way I care for my daughters education, it is simply an example of how irrisponsible her mother is, because she can't even remember to exchange our child with her belongings.

 

[kkimberh]

I have to admit - my dd had more homework in grades K - 5 than she does now in high school! Once she hit middle school, they seemed to have more time in class to work on it and it let up a bit, but grade school was really rough...

 

[R8drnation]

My daughter is in full-day public kindergarten. She gets a packet of homework each Monday that is due on Friday (basic math, matching, patterns, logic, letters, numbers, etc... which have progressed as the year has). She also has spelling tests on Fridays and is tested for sight words every Friday. Although I never went to kindergarten myself, I don't recall having that much homework until perhaps 5th or 6th grade!

We spend at minimum an hour each night completing homework and practicing words (spelling and reading). With her attention span it can be quite the challenge, so sometimes we have to break it up, or just abandon it one day and spend twice as much time the next day. I'm sure there are kids who do not finish their homework or practice their words, and therefore do not continue on to the next levels subsequent weeks.

I agree, it is just that Kindergarten is a building block;same with my daughter we had to do some HW in the early afternoon and finish it up late afternoon it was too much for her,plus they also did a play and she had to rehearse her dance as well as songs. You are not mandated to attend Kindergarten but every early childhood specialist will tell you it is beneficial. Specially on the independence part of it, the detachment.

 

[Isis1]

=) Yes, I do believe extra curricular activities are to be FUN therefore I enrolled her in soccer which she loves and Cheer which she can't get enough of. SImply because I posted this in May does not mean my concern had rescently begun. I have had this concern since my daugther was in preschool. This is continuous behavior on mothers part. The backpack ordeal isn't to prove who is a better parent or to show that this is the ONLY way I care for my daughters education, it is simply an example of how irrisponsible her mother is, because she can't even remember to exchange our child with her belongings.

i hate to break this to you, but simply not doing things YOUR way does not make mom irresponsible. i barely remember to eat every day. it's a part of life. you need to really figure out that you are no longer with this mother. stop trying to still control her. a backpack isn't the height of childhood. trying to find ways to make mom out to be the bad parent is only going to ruin your relationship with your child. and give you gray hairs. not worth it.