hospitalization help please

[IsabellaSoriano]

Dawn, sending more prayers and well wishes your way!!!

[DawnPlusTwo]

Originally Posted by ecmst12

At first I wanted to say, that if Saturday is supposed to be dad's day, then why NOT step back and let him be the primary parent for that day, as he would normally be? Then I read the rest of the thread....seriously, a FATHER that refuses to change diapers? That's not a parent, that's a friendly uncle that plays with the kid but gives him back back whenever he needs something. He isn't concerned about comforting the baby who must be so scared and confused, and certainly isn't putting his health first. Grr.

Though, I probably wouldn't have given him any heads up about the PICU rules. I would have let him bring the whole clan to the hospital and let the staff explain it to him.

My initial thought was to NOT let Dad know about the special rules for PICU. However the more I thought about it, the more I realized I would much rather that a showdown occur via text message then here in the waiting room or outside the PICU door. I should have known I'd be called a liar, and I'm sure he has already been on the phone with the staff here to see if the rules I stated were true.

Its fine, really. Assuming the situation is the same on Saturday morning (son still in PICU) and Dad comes in throwing his weight around and demanding that I leave, I will. Not the building, but I won't be on the same floor. It just sorta stinks for him because if he does that, he won't be able to see son at all. Without my bracelet, he's not getting in. Per the PICU rules. I hate for it to be that way, but its the truth.

Wife is sending more texts now. Guess she caught wind of the rules. She said since she is sons other Mom, she WILL get to go in or it won't be nice what the judge has to say. Lol. She texts like a lolcat so its rather difficult to decipher.
The PICU closes to any visitors between 11a and 1p so I will make my way to the cafeteria and put in a call to my cell company and see if I can get her number blocked.

As for little guy... He still isn't awake. He stirred a little bit about 45 mins ago but still hasn't fully woken up. The doctor was in around 830 and said he is going to talk to some colleagues about a more rapid treatment. His lungs look like he has been a smoker for 15 years right now.

Once again. I sincerly appreciate all of the well wishes and prayers.

[Antigone*of*Greece]

Dawn,

No legal advice here, other than to tell you to stand your ground on this one. My daughter was in the ICU for 2 months ~ I very rarely left and it would have taken a bridgade to get me to leave.

The overstepping piece of you-know-what has just shown you her real stripes. I'd save that text just in case, but for now. Take care of number one.

My prayers to you, your little man and the rest of your family.

Just one more little piece of advice. Don't forget to give you other little one a kiss, even if it is just over the phone ~ she is probably very scared and needs you too.

~ana

[penelope10]

Having had a child in ICU I can honestly say that I NEVER left the hospital. Of course, he was only in the hospital for about a week. The ex's family and my eldest daughter helped take care of Lil Bit. Visitation was really just for immediate family. And there were limitations on how long their visits could be and how many could be in the room at one time. The individuals that were allowed longer visitation were the legal PARENTS.

I have a feeling that the staff will handle this nonsense according to the hospital rules. You may want to give them a head's up on the nonsense and let them handle it. I'm sure they deal with this situation quite often and will take the steps to make this less stressful on you and the child. You can also give the child's DR a head's up too.

[Knowalot]

Prayers for you and your son. So sorry to hear you have so much extra drama to deal with at such a horrendous time. Although you can't stop stepbiatch from texting, don't read them. Stop worrying about what dad could/would/might do. I am sure in any Court a child in the PICU outtrumps a day of visitation with extended family. If dad shows up of course don't interfere with him (him only) seeing his son, just stay in the room in your chair with some reading material and don't say a word. I say he will get bored after a few minutes and that wifey will be having a hissy fit in the waiting room. Let others deal with that delightful group of idiots and just take care of your son and yourself.

[liandrajade]

1st, big hugs and well wishes to your and lil one, mine just gave me a heart attack last week and spiked a high fever and had a seizure, i understand how you feel 100%, I never left her side, not even to eat, my hubby brought me food, clothes, I washed myself up in the bathroom etc.

1st off, take a deep breathe, believe me I know at times you reeealllly want to flip out and its hard to not stoop to their level but lets look at reality for a second here...

1-you have sole legal and physical custody and dad has parenting/visitation time correct? This is court ordered in writing yes? On that stand point alone, you are the only one to call the shots, if you request hospital security to remove anyone you do not want present OR is causing issues, legally they must follow this request b/c then it becomes a public safety issue to OTHER PATIENTS at the hospital. Legally only dad has a right to visitation not anyone else so they can blabber all they want, its NOT going to happen.

If the hospital was to be stupid enough to let just anyone in to see a child in ICU or anywhere else for that matter, they are opening up themselves for a HUUUUGE lawsuit by blatantly disregarding a parent's legal rights as the guardian to their minor child, especially with a bonafide court order in effect AND if it affecting the care and well being of other patients. Do you really think that other parents there are going to want to see or hear drama while they have their children's health issues at hand like you do or that the hospital administration want complaints from other patients as well? of course not but if they step family gets stupid, they will most likely get tossed out of the building.

2-Hospitals and pediatric departments have strict regulations and rules to follow due to the vulnerability and delicacy of their little patients,especially in intensive care units etc. The patients well being supercedes that of anyone else. If they already laid out the rules to you, get them in writing and if the step family shows up on saturday and acts ridiculous, they legally can be removed from the hospital property, you keep this with you if it ever goes to further litigation.

I would like to assume that no court will hold a parent in contempt of their court order b/c a legal stranger demanded access to a child that is not theirs, even if dad was to be stupid and try to say that, you have hard core documentation of where your child was, that the rules were etc. But you are not doing that at all,you are not denying or stopping dad from seeing his child on his visitation time either.

I know its going to be hard but keep calm, cool and collected, make sure you have a copy of your court order that shows you are the only one legally entitled to make any/all decisions for your child. If dad's new wife tries to get him to overstep his legal boundaries then you will have no choice but to request the parties to be removed from the building. Any lawyer worth his salt or at least an honest one will see the hospital policies and the existing court order and should advise his client this is a BAD idea.

Just my 2 cents, good luck and let us know how kiddo is doing.

[sometwo]

Definately make sure the hospital knows what's going on come Saturday morning. That way you won't have all that added stress . Let them handle the crazy woman.

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

A copy of a birth certificate showing WHO the parents are is in order.

Now, my understanding is that kiddo is 15 months. Exactly HOW long has the X been married?

[DawnPlusTwo]

Originally Posted by TinkerBelleLuvr

A copy of a birth certificate showing WHO the parents are is in order.

Now, my understanding is that kiddo is 15 months. Exactly HOW long has the X been married?

Yes, kiddo is 15 months old.

Dad has been married since mid February.

Dad had no contact with child until early May. Step mom didn't meet son until early June.

Step mom actually graced this very forum with her ignorance in June or July. OG was kind enough to point her out to me, and my understanding is she was banned for explicit language. They know I post here and for a while I stopped. Every time a conflict came up dads answer to me would be "Go run to your wannabe lawyer friends". He hasn't said it in a while so I'm unsure if they still follow my posts.

And I absolutely do have a copy of our court order and son's birth certificate here with me now as well as some clean undies! Woohoo!

[sometwo]

Yes, kiddo is 15 months old.

Dad has been married since mid February.

Dad had no contact with child until early May. Step mom didn't meet son until early June.

Step mom actually graced this very forum with her ignorance in June or July. OG was kind enough to point her out to me, and my understanding is she was banned for explicit language. They know I post here and for a while I stopped. Every time a conflict came up dads answer to me would be "Go run to your wannabe lawyer friends". He hasn't said it in a while so I'm unsure if they still follow my posts.

And I absolutely do have a copy of our court order and son's birth certificate here with me now as well as some clean undies! Woohoo!

Good . Dad's an idiot himself and even more so for letting his wife act in the manner she is. Shame on him and shame on her!

[liandrajade]

hows the munchkin? whats the latest update?

[Rushia]

Dawn,

I don't have any advice for you other than what you've been given. I think it's a very good idea that you let staff know what might occur on Sat.

I just wanted to add in my prayers for your little guy and you. Good Luck and keep us updated on his condition.

[DawnPlusTwo]

No update to really report at this time. He still isn't awake. We are hoping he will wake up soon and eat a few bites of food, otherwise a feeding tube is possible. :-(

Its been about 24 hours since he has had any food in his tummy. He hasn't woken up in 12+ hours now. I am worried beyond belief but the nurses and doctors act as though its normal.

I have to leave the PICU again between 4p and 6p. I hope I am here when he does wake up. He will probably be scared and need a familiar face.


I've addressed the issue with doctors and nurses about Saturday. They ensure that I have nothing to worry about. If ANYone comes raising a fuss they will be asked to leave. I refuse to fight with him/them. They can take their attitudes elsewhere.

[Zephyr]

Keeping little guy in my thoughts and hoping for a speedy recovery!

[ecmst12]

Well it's good that he's sleeping, his body needs all his energy to heal itself. And he's less miserable when he's asleep. I know when I'M sick, all I want to do is sleep so I'm not aware of how crappy I feel