hospitalization help please

[DawnPlusTwo]

Oklahoma.

As I post this I am sitting in the hospital with my little boy. He has RSV and/or bronchiolitis, plus a really bad double ear infection.

I took son to doctor today when he started wheezing and coughing really bad. X-rays were done and son is very sick. He is on strong antibiotics as well as breathing treatments hourly.
On to my question. I have sole legal/physical of son. I let Dad know that I was taking son to the doctor and kept him updated through the process of tests and X-Rays. I invited Dad to the hospital once check in was complete and he declined stating that he would just see him Saturday. (his visitation day) I told him that was ok but Son would likely be in the hospital until at least Monday.

He then told me that I HAVE to leave when he arrives for his visit on Saturday because it is HIS time. New wife and her family would like to visit and don't want me around.

I told dad I would step out when they arrived and they could stay a while. He said they would ALL be staying ALL day. I told him it was fine, but I would not be leaving the hospital for 10 hours. Now dad is threatening legal action (again).

Does Dad gave the right to tell me to leave the hospital so his wife's family can visit our son? I'm just REALLY not comfortable leaving our VERY sick baby.

Any advice is appreciated. Thank you!

[Hisbabygirl77]

Originally Posted by DawnPlusTwo

Oklahoma.

As I post this I am sitting in the hospital with my little boy. He has RSV and/or bronchiolitis, plus a really bad double ear infection.

I took son to doctor today when he started wheezing and coughing really bad. X-rays were done and son is very sick. He is on strong antibiotics as well as breathing treatments hourly.
On to my question. I have sole legal/physical of son. I let Dad know that I was taking son to the doctor and kept him updated through the process of tests and X-Rays. I invited Dad to the hospital once check in was complete and he declined stating that he would just see him Saturday. (his visitation day) I told him that was ok but Son would likely be in the hospital until at least Monday.

He then told me that I HAVE to leave when he arrives for his visit on Saturday because it is HIS time. New wife and her family would like to visit and don't want me around.

I told dad I would step out when they arrived and they could stay a while. He said they would ALL be staying ALL day. I told him it was fine, but I would not be leaving the hospital for 10 hours. Now dad is threatening legal action (again).

Does Dad gave the right to tell me to leave the hospital so his wife's family can visit our son? I'm just REALLY not comfortable leaving our VERY sick baby.

Any advice is appreciated. Thank you!

What are the hospitals rules on visitors? Normally they only allow two people in the rooms anyway. Dad is being insane if the thinks hes gonna get away with some kind of legal action. Find out the hospital rules about visitors stay in the hospital lobby and just periodically check in on your son. If your ex makes a fuss I am sure hospital security would see him out the door. The hospital is NOT the place to play tug of war with a child and he needs to grow up.

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by DawnPlusTwo

Oklahoma.

As I post this I am sitting in the hospital with my little boy. He has RSV and/or bronchiolitis, plus a really bad double ear infection.

I took son to doctor today when he started wheezing and coughing really bad. X-rays were done and son is very sick. He is on strong antibiotics as well as breathing treatments hourly.
On to my question. I have sole legal/physical of son. I let Dad know that I was taking son to the doctor and kept him updated through the process of tests and X-Rays. I invited Dad to the hospital once check in was complete and he declined stating that he would just see him Saturday. (his visitation day) I told him that was ok but Son would likely be in the hospital until at least Monday.

He then told me that I HAVE to leave when he arrives for his visit on Saturday because it is HIS time. New wife and her family would like to visit and don't want me around.

I told dad I would step out when they arrived and they could stay a while. He said they would ALL be staying ALL day. I told him it was fine, but I would not be leaving the hospital for 10 hours. Now dad is threatening legal action (again).

Does Dad gave the right to tell me to leave the hospital so his wife's family can visit our son? I'm just REALLY not comfortable leaving our VERY sick baby.

Any advice is appreciated. Thank you!

dad is being so stupid it's not even funny. NO, you do NOT have to leave so dad can have a "visit" at the hospital. in fact dad can be there NOW, but he choses not to be.

let him threaten. good grief.

[wileybunch]

My 7mo pregnant DD was just hospitalized for flu type symptoms and I wish I could be there, but she's across the country, so I understand the desire to be with a sick loved one but ....

You're not the doctor. The fact your child is VERY SICK doesn't mean YOU have to be there to take care of him, the doctors and nurses are doing that. And, if anyone needs to advocate for him, comfort him, entertain him, etc., Dad and family will be there for him.

If you really feel hesitant leaving, let the nursing staff know and give them your cell number to get ahold of you should they need to.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by wileybunch

My 7mo pregnant DD was just hospitalized for flu type symptoms and I wish I could be there, but she's across the country, so I understand the desire to be with a sick loved one but ....

You're not the doctor. The fact your child is VERY SICK doesn't mean YOU have to be there to take care of him, the doctors and nurses are doing that. And, if anyone needs to advocate for him, comfort him, entertain him, etc., Dad and family will be there for him.

If you really feel hesitant leaving, let the nursing staff know and give them your cell number to get ahold of you should they need to.

Whow...so you are suggesting that mom has to leave?...absolutely not true.

[DawnPlusTwo]

Originally Posted by Hisbabygirl77

What are the hospitals rules on visitors? Normally they only allow two people in the rooms anyway. Dad is being insane if the thinks hes gonna get away with some kind of legal action. Find out the hospital rules about visitors stay in the hospital lobby and just periodically check in on your son. If your ex makes a fuss I am sure hospital security would see him out the door. The hospital is NOT the place to play tug of war with a child and he needs to grow up.

I asked his nurse when she came in a few minutes ago. She said that what they LIKE to follow is no more than two people in the room at a time. And for non-parents, they like no more than 30 min visits. If no one presses the issue, it may not be enforced fully. I will press the issue. He is OUR son. Not step mom and her family's. Like I said, I don't mind stepping out for a little while so they can visit, but I do not see is as necessary for 5 or 6 people to be piled up all at once.

[Hisbabygirl77]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

Whow...so you are suggesting that mom has to leave?...absolutely not true.

I have to agree with LdiJ on this one. That is just plain silly not to mention what parents is going to just leave? Not me thats for sure. Now I would hang out in the lobby and let dad have some quality time alone with the child but I would be checking in and in constant contact with Dr's/nurses.

[gr8rn]

I am going to agree with wileybunch. I don't think you should agree to be gone a whole 10 hours, but there is no reason you should not be able to go home, go through the mail, take a nice hot shower, knowing Dad is there and he will provide comfort to your child. I don't think it is necessary for wifey's entire clan to come in, but whatever, as long as your child has a relationship with them, it couldn't hurt. But for your ex to insist on you being away a whole 10 hours, no not happening.
Check the visiting hours and give him at least a 4 hour block and let him know you will be back. This in no way can be considered a normal visitation and he should not expect it.
And personally? I would bring in a big bottle of purell and leave it out for all to use.

[DawnPlusTwo]

Originally Posted by IsabellaSoriano

dad is being so stupid it's not even funny. NO, you do NOT have to leave so dad can have a "visit" at the hospital. in fact dad can be there NOW, but he choses not to be.

let him threaten. good grief.

That's my opinion as well. We've been getting along decently for a while and now he wants to throw this out there. Out of pure respect for DAD, I told my fiancé(e?) NOT to come here because I feel that it should be Dad and I here for our son. This is so frustrating.

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

My X tried something similar when my kiddo was in the hospital. Actually, it was the week from he double-hockey sticks. One child was in the hospital from Sunday - Wednesday. The little one in from Wednesday to Sunday. And one in the emergency room on that Wednesday.

In any case, dad tried that same stunt. The Hospital landed up kicking him and associated folks out because they were disturbing the child. my X was famous for riling up kiddo - not helping her to stay calm.

Since **I** had been the primary parent in the hospital all week, they treated dad and associated folks as "visitors". Now, dad could well have stayed and help with kiddo. But, dad really didn't want the work associated with kiddo - just the glory.

Why not see if dad can stay with kiddo for an hour or two a day so that you can get some away time. Showers are nice. Seeing what the house looks like is nice. But as for the "10 hours away from kiddo" - not reasonable BECAUSE the child is in the hospital.

[janM]

I'm amazed that they let non-family in there at all. A lot of local hospitals have restrictions in place right now with all the flu going around. Your child does not need all that activity. How old is he again? My GS was 3 weeks old when he got RSV, and he was miserable.

He is in hospital to get well, not to socialize with a bunch of legal strangers.

[DawnPlusTwo]

Originally Posted by TinkerBelleLuvr

My X tried something similar when my kiddo was in the hospital. Actually, it was the week from he double-hockey sticks. One child was in the hospital from Sunday - Wednesday. The little one in from Wednesday to Sunday. And one in the emergency room on that Wednesday.

In any case, dad tried that same stunt. The Hospital landed up kicking him and associated folks out because they were disturbing the child. my X was famous for riling up kiddo - not helping her to stay calm.

Since **I** had been the primary parent in the hospital all week, they treated dad and associated folks as "visitors". Now, dad could well have stayed and help with kiddo. But, dad really didn't want the work associated with kiddo - just the glory.

Why not see if dad can stay with kiddo for an hour or two a day so that you can get some away time. Showers are nice. Seeing what the house looks like is nice. But as for the "10 hours away from kiddo" - not reasonable BECAUSE the child is in the hospital.

Thanks. Dad won't come up here. Not until Saturday, anyway.

And when Saturday DOES get here, he will be civil, his wife and her family will act like fools. That seems to be the trend with them anyway.
If little dude isn't doing ANY better by then, I won't even leave the room. However, if his respirations slow back to normal (currently at 80 per minute) and if his risk for possibly needed a respirator goes down, I will leave and allow step family some time. The nurses have already told me I have nothing to worry about, they won't ask me to leave, period.
And if dad decides to pursue whatever legal action, then its fine, I am more than willing to take the risk. It may not be smart of me, but I feel it is what is right for Son.

[DawnPlusTwo]

Originally Posted by janM

I'm amazed that they let non-family in there at all. A lot of local hospitals have restrictions in place right now with all the flu going around. Your child does not need all that activity. How old is he again? My GS was 3 weeks old when he got RSV, and he was miserable.

He is in hospital to get well, not to socialize with a bunch of legal strangers.

I agree. Son is almost 15 months old. Doctors say he could either fight it off much better/quicker than a small infant would OR he would be extremely difficult to get well. So far, I'm leaning toward the difficult. He's restrained because he likes to rip out his IV. Breathing treatment must be done when he is snoozing because he violently refuses the mask. Its truly heartbreaking to see.

[frylover]

I don't think ANY parent should be forced to leave their hospitalized and child because the other parent and a bunch of legal strangers says so.

I really don't see not wanting to go off and leave your hospitalized child for HOURS at a time as unreasonable. I think it's a bit unreasonable for dad to demand that she jump ship because his WIFE doesn't want her around.

And I know it's preached constantly here that what a child wants doesn't count for squat.....but come on! Any sick child, in unfamiliar surroundings being subjected to procedures he's unaccustomed to is more than likely going to want his primary caregiver with him, whether that person is mom or dad. Shouldn't this be a time when a little consideration is maybe given to a child's wishes.

Sure, mom can run home, have a shower and maybe a nap. Fix herself a decent meal. But why should she have to stay gone ALL DAY?

Edited to add: Dawn, I just read your last posts. Poor little guy I hope things go more smoothly for his recovery than you are antiicipating.

[wileybunch]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

Whow...so you are suggesting that mom has to leave?...absolutely not true.

Oh come on now, I KNOW your reading comprehension is better than that!