How can I get my daughter back?

[singleWAdad]

What is the name of your state? WA

I've had custody of my 4 yr. old daughter since birth. Her mom sees her once a year on her birthday. We never went to court or anything but she is supposed to be paying child support. She lives in CA. I let her come here to pick up my daughter for a visit and now she is trying to keep her. It's been 4 months and I think she is going to file for custody in CA after 6 months. What can I do? Do I need to file for custody in WA? Can she just keep her?

 

[Gracie3787]

What is the name of your state? WA

I've had custody of my 4 yr. old daughter since birth. Her mom sees her once a year on her birthday. We never went to court or anything but she is supposed to be paying child support. She lives in CA. I let her come here to pick up my daughter for a visit and now she is trying to keep her. It's been 4 months and I think she is going to file for custody in CA after 6 months. What can I do? Do I need to file for custody in WA? Can she just keep her?

If paternity hasn't been established by court order or divorce, then I'm afraid that she has the LEGAL (if not moral) right to keep the child.

You should file a petition for paternity, custody, and CS ASAP, this is the only way that your rights will be established.

Why did you wait 4 months?

 

[singleWAdad]

Thank you Gracie3787. I waited this long because I lost my house and decided it would be best for her to stay with her my untill I got back on my feet. When I wanted to take my daughter to our family reunion her mom told me no, because she was just starting to get adjusted and it was too soon. I was being completely reasonable and let my daughter go done there because she wanted to see her mom. She was only supposed to be visiting in the first place.

 

[brisgirl825]

You definately need an atty asap. You let your child stay with mom this long so this might be difficult for you. The sooner you do something, the better.

GL.

 

[stealth2]

I can only reiterate what the others have said. You seriously need an attorney.

 

[laurakaycraig]

If there was not Court involved who told her she has to pay support? It is usually from a court order.

 

[singleWAdad]

I was recieving TANF through DSHS and I think they started the child support order. My mom also worked for DCS at the time so she might have helped me get it started. I can't remember, but I just got some papers from DCS a week ago, so my case is still open. I also was getting daycare assistance for over a year until I lost my job. Does that help me at all? My name is on the birth certificate (that I have) and I signed a paternity affidavit. Do I still need a paternity test?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I was recieving TANF through DSHS and I think they started the child support order. My mom also worked for DCS at the time so she might have helped me get it started. I can't remember, but I just got some papers from DCS a week ago, so my case is still open. I also was getting daycare assistance for over a year until I lost my job. Does that help me at all? My name is on the birth certificate (that I have) and I signed a paternity affidavit. Do I still need a paternity test?

There is no need to start another thread.
Duplicate thread, please keep to one thread.
https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=264026
I have a 4 year old daughter. My x and I split up when my daughter was 6 months old. My x moved to CA. I had custody until about 4 months ago when I let my x take her to CA for a visit. She refused to let me take her for a weekend, and I think she's trying to keep my daughter and establish residence in CA so she can file for cuystody. I signed a paternity affidavit and am on the birth certificate. Do I still need to establish paternity (we were not married)? She was ordered to pay child support, does that make any difference? I cannot afford an attorney. Does anyone have any advice or suggestions?

==============
While you have established paternity, you don't know if have a custody order per se, apparently if you established a DSC case, apparently the courts somewhere made a decision. I suggest you get to the court ASAP on Monday and get copies of the custody orders and or get emergency orders, perhaps your mother can help again. If a Custody order exists and you are custodal parent report your child abducted if she has not been returned and file contempt charges. What county this will help in referals, but you need to get an order to return your child before 6 months pass and you have to be able to demonstrate that you are in a stable situation since you lost your home and job. Is there any history of domestic, child or substance abuse? DO you know where your child is and in what county? Also contact Please contact the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children
http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PageServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US&PageId=242

 

[gatorguy3]

rmet, are you the "new thread" or "duplicate thread" police? would it not be just as easy to not reply and add to the post? what happened to "add advice to the post"? This looks sort of like a hijack to me

 

[rmet4nzkx]

rmet, are you the "new thread" or "duplicate thread" police? would it not be just as easy to not reply and add to the post? what happened to "add advice to the post"? This looks sort of like a hijack to me

We frequently point out the duplicate thread or ones with slightly different information because they create confusion. In this case, I also posted the text from the other thread as there was additional information. It is difficult enough when we don't get the facts in the first place so we can advise in a timely manner. If we had all the facts originally, OP could have been appropriately referred several days ago. This was not a hijack.

 

[stealth2]

rmet, are you the "new thread" or "duplicate thread" police? would it not be just as easy to not reply and add to the post? what happened to "add advice to the post"? This looks sort of like a hijack to me

It just helps to keep things together. When there's more than one thread running about the same topic, often they end up with different (and relevant) information posted from OP on each. And it gets to be a pain in the tuchus to keep track of the situation, and provide the best answers, that way.

 

[gatorguy3]

okay, okay, okay...

sorry I brought it up

 

[stealth2]

No need to be sorry. But also no need to have gotten pissy asking the question.

 

[gatorguy3]

Now, "pissy" is a relative sorta term. I don't know that I was pissy when I wrote what I did. Then again, I could have just wanted to be disputatious at that moment in time.

 

[stealth2]

That seems to be your standard modus operandi.