How can i have a judge order my ex to take a drug test...

[corayant]

allright im back.. sorry i havent been on in a couple days.

but yes i have had an attorney since i knew i was going to try to get full custody. then she came back with an emergency ex parte.

which basically made us have an earlier hearing just for a judge to hear her side. and even with an attorney for that ex parte... did nothing. shes doing this all alone, and all she had to say was... i miss my baby, i cant be without her more than 2 days.. and im breastfeeding her.
uh, yea right... all of which are untrue. this b!tch, parties on weekends and leaves me with the baby from friday til sunday. during weekdays she randomly just leaves when she sparks up a fight, just so that she can excuse herself and leave. and she also sleeps til 1pm daily, and im the one that wakes up in the middle of the night to make bottles and feed and change baby, then i get up at 6am to watch the baby til lazy mother gets up at 1pm.

so for the person who said, courts just care who spends the most time with baby and takes care of her and watches her... well that person is clearly ME!!!!!

but its like, you dont have any proof of that. just your word against hers. and since this whole thing is going to court now. she just has to lie, and courts will grant her anything she wants. because its allllllllways male judges and they just dont want to deal with breastfeeding or mothe issues. so once she says that.... thats it. she has baby.

so if the drug thing... or lets says... semi legal weed use, or soon to be legal weed use isnt going to help my case, i guess i can only rely on my word against hers on how she really is an unfit mother and how she physically abused me and yes i do have the police report and restraining order on her. but im sure the judge will say that has nothing to do with the child.

so i guess we will see.... i do have my text messages printed out that clearly have her admitting to hitting me in the face, in front of her other two kids. but again. the judges only see it the mothers way...

 

[corayant]

also, CPS has been called on her 4 or 5 times now within the past 4-6 months and nothing.....

she just lies and lies and lies.. they jot down a few notes on their note pads and they walk out. case closed, and they just say. we found nothing to be wrong. real nice.

like your going to go over to someones house and they are going to admit to being an unfit mother.... come on. so yea, calling them really has done nothing. other than showing the number of times they have been out to the house. so that MIGHT help but yea right. i highly doubt it.

This state doesnt give children to their fathers it seems like. maybe only if shes a straight up crackhead and hooker. but not gonna help me in my case. just an abusive, neglectful, pot smoking, person who doesnt feed or even take her kids baths or to school often.

 

[corayant]

dude???

and let me guess... her feeding her 6 year old a piece of cheese and fruit snacks for an entire days meal is not an unfit mother right??

yea i didnt think so either.

thats what she does, to that child. and to the baby, like i said... doesnt even try to feed her. i have to.

so yea, if you have nothing good to say.. get off the thread!!

 

[corayant]

next time try to answer the question if you can. thats what i started this thread for. i need help with info that can help me with my case.

 

[corayant]

dude again?

stop calling me that for one!

and your being ignored for a reason....

if you cant follow simple instructions on, trying to help me in any way that you can by answering the thread question or any help at all.

please do not write on this thread!

so again.... back to the topic. thank you

 

[corayant]

another one bites the dust.... ignored!!!

so if you guys have any good advice on my thread question... id be more than willing to take em

otherwise please take your arguements elsewhere.

I just started this thread to see if anyone has been through this kind of situation or knows someone who has... and could maybe give me a few pointers. sticking to the topic and helping me out will be greatly appreciated, thank you.

 

[gr8rn]

I understand your frustration. CPS, in my experience, does not intervene unless there are serious signs of abuse or neglect. Frankly, if you are getting up and taking care of the child, then the child is not in danger. Maybe I missed something, are you both still living together? Because even if she WAS doing something terrible to the kids, they would not place them with you if you are living together, know what I mean? Sorry if I misunderstood. But you do make it sound like you are both living together.

 

[corayant]

yea, we were living together for about 1 year. and then after the baby. she totally 180ed on me. she stopped helping.. with her own children, our new baby, around the house, and even bills.

its like she just gave up. and pep talks from me or my family did not work. it just set her off even worse and she would just flee. (leaving baby with me of course)

and she would go party. the baby and her kids were never of importance to her before, and now that i moved out, and took her to court for my baby. now all of a sudden she wants to fight for them and act like... ohhhh im the perfect mother.

thats what no one gets on this thread ha. is she was totally ignoring the baby and her kids during the end of her pregnancy and after birth.

and NO it wasnt because i was doing the parenting for her and letting her be lazy. i would feel that i had to do those things only to keep the kids fed and the place clean and bills paid.

because i would have talks with her and she would allways say i dont care...

but now in court she cares... so i dont know. i just wish she would just give up like she has been for the past 6 months or so.

but yes, we lived together, and i am now moved out with my own place.

 

[corayant]

so basically, if she was being that lazy the last 6 months with me there to pick up the slack.

I can only imagine what these poor kids are going through right now. how do they get to school if she wakes up at 1pm? and for the baby... do you irnore her most of the night and hope she just falls back to sleep?

whos going to feed and bath them? she never did any of that. she doesnt know how to cook. she even asked me one day how to make TUNA!!!!!

so when im not there to feed those kids, they eat cheese and fruit snacks. the 12 year old tells me. he likes me still and he texts me.

 

[gr8rn]

You know, her actions sound a lot like the actions of a woman with post partum depression...

 

[gr8rn]

Which, depending on severity, could pass in time even without treatment.. Just a thought. How long have you been living separately, and how do you know she is not caring for the children now?

 

[corayant]

its not post pardem, believe me. it was before she gave birth or even got pregnant in the first place. ha

im just saying it got worse and worse.

and i told you i know how the kids are not being fed, and how things are going because the now 13 year old texts me and tells me. he old enough to tell me whats going on there. but judges dont want to question the kids for some reason.

im her 3rd baby daddy basically and her lazyness and not caring for kids is a pattern. ive allready spoke to her father and the other 2 kids fathers. she has done the same to all of them.

difference is with me.. i only spent 1 year living with her dealing with that. im smart, i got out when it got worse.

and no i didnt know i was father number 3 til it was too late. she hid that from me until she basically had to tell me. the other 2 kids used to be with their fathers at the time.

shes a good liar.. ill tell ya that. ha

 

[MichaCA]

One thing I know about California as a whole; it is pro both parents being involved. Suggestion; try to put your anger and frustration and blame aside for your court hearing(s)...

get objective about what you see the issues are, write out some examples of each, get clear what you want, discuss with your attorney. Make suggestions of shared visitation plans to the court.

Sometimes I see a parent coming up, trying to claim the other parent unfit without evidence, and trying to get custody. I think you just need to stay focused on whats going on now, present your view of what the truth is, state your concerns, ask for joint legal and physical and PROPOSE parenting plans. Get your foot in the door first.

 

[corayant]

Joint is allready going to happen I'm sure. I don't want that. Seeing how she treats the kids allready. And how she cares about partying more than kids. What stranger is going to watch my baby when she's out? That's why , as a loving father ... I want full.

 

[CJane]

Joint is allready going to happen I'm sure. I don't want that. Seeing how she treats the kids allready. And how she cares about partying more than kids. What stranger is going to watch my baby when she's out? That's why , as a loving father ... I want full.

If you have custody, what stranger is going to watch your baby when YOU'RE "out"?