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  1. #1
    corayant is offline Junior Member
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    How can i have a judge order my ex to take a drug test...

    california,

    Im going to court on the 28th of this month (dec) to fight for full custody of my 3 month old child. The mother hardly ever breastfeeds, but claims to the judge that she does breastfeed fulltime. (just so she can win the baby). and it works. I cant stand that a judge will be that one sided. as if a baby cant be bottle fed with me, the father. I have been bottle feeding the baby for more than 80% of the time. and the small 20% or less that she actually does try to breastfeed, is to lose weight and/or because she is extreamly lazy and she doesnt want to get up in the middle of the night and make a bottle.
    so my real question is... since i cant win my child by her lying and saying she needs baby because she breastfeeds... is. If i know she smokes marijuana at least 2-3 times a week... (mostly in front of me) in our bathroom... how can i have a judge FORCE her to take a drug test? i brought it up to the first judge and he said some B.S. that he cannot force her, that she needs to agree to take a test.
    I want the judge to force her to take a hair folicle test because i know the marijuana will show up in there.
    If there is suspicion of drug use.. why cant the judge force her? or can he? because i seriously want both of us to get tested. i will gladly agree to take a test. im drug free.
    Also, this girl is extreamly abusive. she physically beat me to the face with a closed fist several times during one incident. and it was in front of her 2 other children. but the court acts as if there were no witnesses since the kids obviously wont tell on their low life mother.

    Shes a drug abuser...
    a man abuser...
    doesnt feed her other kids breakfast or dinner..
    she sleeps til 1pm daily...
    she has no job...
    she has no car...
    she just got evicted from her apartment...
    she doesnt breastfeed....
    we have allways been giving the baby bottles..

    all that, plus more... and im sure the judge will still say...50/50. This world is amazing....
    just because im a man... and babies should be with their mothers... even is shes a low life.
  2. #2
    Antigone* is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by corayant View Post
    california,

    Im going to court on the 28th of this month (dec) to fight for full custody of my 3 month old child. The mother hardly ever breastfeeds, but claims to the judge that she does breastfeed fulltime. (just so she can win the baby). and it works. I cant stand that a judge will be that one sided. as if a baby cant be bottle fed with me, the father. I have been bottle feeding the baby for more than 80% of the time. and the small 20% or less that she actually does try to breastfeed, is to lose weight and/or because she is extreamly lazy and she doesnt want to get up in the middle of the night and make a bottle.
    so my real question is... since i cant win my child by her lying and saying she needs baby because she breastfeeds... is. If i know she smokes marijuana at least 2-3 times a week... (mostly in front of me) in our bathroom... how can i have a judge FORCE her to take a drug test? i brought it up to the first judge and he said some B.S. that he cannot force her, that she needs to agree to take a test.
    I want the judge to force her to take a hair folicle test because i know the marijuana will show up in there.
    If there is suspicion of drug use.. why cant the judge force her? or can he? because i seriously want both of us to get tested. i will gladly agree to take a test. im drug free.
    Also, this girl is extreamly abusive. she physically beat me to the face with a closed fist several times during one incident. and it was in front of her 2 other children. but the court acts as if there were no witnesses since the kids obviously wont tell on their low life mother.

    Shes a drug abuser...
    a man abuser...
    doesnt feed her other kids breakfast or dinner..
    she sleeps til 1pm daily...
    she has no job...
    she has no car...
    she just got evicted from her apartment...
    she doesnt breastfeed....
    we have allways been giving the baby bottles..

    all that, plus more... and im sure the judge will still say...50/50. This world is amazing....
    just because im a man... and babies should be with their mothers... even is shes a low life.
    So what happened when you called the police after she beat you?

    So what happened when you called the police about the drug use in front of you?
  3. #3
    corayant is offline Junior Member
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    i filed a domestic violence report... which turned into a restraining order as well. so thats a good thing.
    but as far as me mentioning the marijuana use, the cops and judge seem to act like its nothing. or my favorite response from a social worker that i called said... its not a harmful or bad drug. so basically like its ok to do that in front of 3 kids, especially a new born.
  4. #4
    gr8rn is offline Senior Member
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    How long ago was it that she smoked marijuana in front of you in the bathroom? There is a chance you would test positive too.
  5. #5
    Hisbabygirl77 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by corayant View Post
    i filed a domestic violence report... which turned into a restraining order as well. so thats a good thing.
    but as far as me mentioning the marijuana use, the cops and judge seem to act like its nothing. or my favorite response from a social worker that i called said... its not a harmful or bad drug. so basically like its ok to do that in front of 3 kids, especially a new born.
    She smoked pot in front of you. You thought it was ok at the time because you didn't call the police. So drug testing isnt going to really be something you can bring up. Not to mention courts in Cali dont really look at it as a big deal. Shoot get a lil card and you can smoke it all you want.
  6. #6
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hisbabygirl77 View Post
    She smoked pot in front of you. You thought it was ok at the time because you didn't call the police. So drug testing isnt going to really be something you can bring up. Not to mention courts in Cali dont really look at it as a big deal. Shoot get a lil card and you can smoke it all you want.
    last hearing i went to, THREE of the cases had medical cards. no one look stunned except me.
  7. #7
    Gracie3787 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by corayant View Post
    california,

    Im going to court on the 28th of this month (dec) to fight for full custody of my 3 month old child. The mother hardly ever breastfeeds, but claims to the judge that she does breastfeed fulltime. (just so she can win the baby). and it works. I cant stand that a judge will be that one sided. as if a baby cant be bottle fed with me, the father. I have been bottle feeding the baby for more than 80% of the time. and the small 20% or less that she actually does try to breastfeed, is to lose weight and/or because she is extreamly lazy and she doesnt want to get up in the middle of the night and make a bottle.
    so my real question is... since i cant win my child by her lying and saying she needs baby because she breastfeeds... is. If i know she smokes marijuana at least 2-3 times a week... (mostly in front of me) in our bathroom... how can i have a judge FORCE her to take a drug test? i brought it up to the first judge and he said some B.S. that he cannot force her, that she needs to agree to take a test.
    I want the judge to force her to take a hair folicle test because i know the marijuana will show up in there.
    If there is suspicion of drug use.. why cant the judge force her? or can he? because i seriously want both of us to get tested. i will gladly agree to take a test. im drug free.
    Also, this girl is extreamly abusive. she physically beat me to the face with a closed fist several times during one incident. and it was in front of her 2 other children. but the court acts as if there were no witnesses since the kids obviously wont tell on their low life mother.

    Shes a drug abuser...
    a man abuser...
    doesnt feed her other kids breakfast or dinner..
    she sleeps til 1pm daily...
    she has no job...
    she has no car...
    she just got evicted from her apartment...
    she doesnt breastfeed....
    we have allways been giving the baby bottles..

    all that, plus more... and im sure the judge will still say...50/50. This world is amazing....
    just because im a man... and babies should be with their mothers... even is shes a low life.
    You are in a situation where you really need an attorney. I know they can be expensive, but you need to try to come up with the money somehow if you want to have any real chance at prevailing.
  8. #8
    Radia is offline Member
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    Do you have visitation with the child away from the mother for like weekends or anything? The reason I ask is that if she truly is only breastfeeding 20% of the time or less then unless she pumps her milk (which I cant imagine a "lazy" person would be motivated to do, weight loss or not) her milk supply should have tapered off to being nearly non existent.

    Your saying she smokes pot in "our" bathroom 2 to 3 times a week... Your after custody, but are you married? Live together? Divorced?

    If there is a suspicion of drug use and breastfeeding, I would think a simple report to the child protective services in your state may help some.
  9. #9
    modad75 is offline Member
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    This isn't going to really answer your question, but I want you to know that she can still pass a hair follicle test. My ex admitted in a restraining order court hearing that she did not know if she would be able to pass a drug test. This allowed me to get her tested for my custody case, and even though she didnt know if she would pass because of recent marijuana use, she still passed. And her telling them she didn't know if she would pass or not did nothing.

    I have reported drug use to the police and to the lawyer and they both told me they would need pictures for it to be true evidence that drugs are being used... not just hearsay or emails or anything else. Hard evidence that it is being used.
  10. #10
    Hisbabygirl77 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Isis1 View Post
    it might actually be that she passed cuz she stopped USING!!!

    it happens like that sometimes.
    awww bella that is just crazy thinking CRAZY I tell you
  11. #11
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hisbabygirl77 View Post
    awww bella that is just crazy thinking CRAZY I tell you
    i think drinking wine might be aiding that. i have GOT to stop drinking. it's seems to sprout common sense once in awhile.
  12. #12
    modad75 is offline Member
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    You're right, stopped for a certain amount of time. Pictures are what finally get that taken care of though. And those type post them all over the internet so you don't even have to do anything but print. Unfortunately she didn't quit for good, just for a period of time. Some users do clean up for good though and hope yours does.
  13. #13
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by modad75 View Post
    You're right, stopped for a certain amount of time. Pictures are what finally get that taken care of though. And those type post them all over the internet so you don't even have to do anything but print. Unfortunately she didn't quit for good, just for a period of time. Some users do clean up for good though and hope yours does.
    i don't pay enough attention to my ex to care if he does use. i just don't want my children using. that's all my concern.
  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by corayant View Post
    Shes a drug abuser...
    a man abuser...
    doesnt feed her other kids breakfast or dinner..
    she sleeps til 1pm daily...
    she has no job...
    she has no car...
    she just got evicted from her apartment...
    and babies should be with their mothers... even is shes a low life.
    Yet, you chose to have a baby with her?
    She is the one spending the bulk of the time with this child, and yes, in all likelihood it will remain that way for the near future unless you can prove she is an unfit mother.

    Fitness isn't measured in having a car or a job, its measured in caring for the child's health and well-being.

    If you truly believe she is failing at that, call CPS. Don't think about it, don't talk about it, just do it. Small babies are very good barometers since they rely 100% on another human being. Failure to thrive, physical injuries, those kinds of things are very objective.
  15. #15
    MichaCA is offline Senior Member
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    Well, one thing is for sure. IF mom is pot smoking, AND breastfeeding, she is raising an infant on drugs.

    I would call CPS if you have concerns. Not saying they'll do anything, but perhaps if you ask if the BABY can be tested for pot, it might jiggle up their response a little...yeah, pot is everywhere in CA...but I still wouldn't want my baby being raised on it.

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