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How do I get custody of my younger siblings?

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Mewsik

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington

My family has been going through drama since the day I was born. Today I am 22, with 1 younger sister(17) and 1 younger brother(5) and engaged to be married. I am finishing up my bachelors and have my own apartment but am currently looking for a job after graduation, whereas my fiancee is a government contractor and makes 75k a year. My current circumstances are that my mother is mentally unstable and likely to commit suicide at any time. My step-father has anger management issues and is not the legal guardian or blood relative of my younger brother or me. Both my brother and sister are half-siblings of mine.

I want to gain custody of my brother but do not know how or if I have the qualifications to do so. I know I have to go through papers for emancipation for my sister who is a few months shy of 18 if I didn't want to wait for her to reach adult status. However, it is a lot more complicated with my brother. I want to gain guardianship of my brother and take him away from the mentally and emotionally damaging environment that is his home without having my mother commit suicide.

What can and should I do?
 
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Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington

My family has been going through drama since the day I was born. Today I am 22, with 1 younger sister(17) and 1 younger brother(5) and engaged to be married. I am finishing up my bachelors and have my own apartment but am currently looking for a job after graduation, whereas my fiancee is a government contractor and makes 75k a year. My current circumstances are that my mother is mentally unstable and likely to commit suicide at any time.

Unless she has been declared mentally incompetent or CPS are involved, this is - honestly - a non-issue.

My step-father has anger management issues and is not the legal guardian or blood relative of my younger brother or me. Both my brother and sister are half-siblings of mine.

Where is/are the father/s?

I want to gain custody of my brother but do not know how or if I have the qualifications to do so. I know I have to go through papers for emancipation for my sister who is a few months shy of 18 if I didn't want to wait for her to reach adult status.
Wrong. Your sister doesn't qualify for emancipation - period.


However, it is a lot more complicated with my brother. I want to gain guardianship of my brother and take him away from the mentally and emotionally damaging environment that is his home without having my mother commit suicide.

What can and should I do?

I live in WA, just so you know.

Now, I'm curious as to what you consider is actually an unfit environment. Which county are you in? I can probably dig up some resources for you.
 

Mewsik

Junior Member
Currently CPS is investigating our home. My mother will most likely be coined mentally unstable due to panic attacks almost everyday multiple times a day, and anger fits that can turn abusive though rare. We have images of bruises and things like that on my sister.

My brother's biological father is dead. My step-dad is my sister's biological father. And someone told me my sister would qualify...but I don't know anything about it, so I'll probably have to wait until she's 18.

I live in King county, but my sister is currently suffering from depression and has been hurt mentally and physically in our home by both parents. The school Counselors have talked it over with her and they were the ones to report to CPS. I am mostly concerned that my younger brother will be caught in the crossfires of any arguments between my parents as both my sister and I have been.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Currently CPS is investigating our home. My mother will most likely be coined mentally unstable due to panic attacks almost everyday multiple times a day, and anger fits that can turn abusive though rare. We have images of bruises and things like that on my sister.

Hon, you have no idea what it actually takes to be deemed unfit. No idea.

Images prove nothing at all. PLEASE save yourself some heartache, and read these forums.

My brother's biological father is dead. My step-dad is my sister's biological father. And someone told me my sister would qualify...but I don't know anything about it, so I'll probably have to wait until she's 18.

I live in King county, but my sister is currently suffering from depression and has been hurt mentally and physically in our home by both parents. The school Counselors have talked it over with her and they were the ones to report to CPS. I am mostly concerned that my younger brother will be caught in the crossfires of any arguments between my parents as both my sister and I have been.

You've got nothing here. Seriously.

Come back when CPS have made their determination.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Hon, you have no idea what it actually takes to be deemed unfit. No idea.

Images prove nothing at all. PLEASE save yourself some heartache, and read these forums.




You've got nothing here. Seriously.

Come back when CPS have made their determination.
There ARE things that OP can do right now:

1. Get Mom the care that she needs. If Mom is a serious danger to herself or others, contact the authorities to see what it would take to have her brought in for evaluation. If she's not an imminent danger, get her to a mental health professional for treatment.

2. Make sure the younger kids have your phone number and can call you in an emergency. Teach them that they can call 911 at any time they feel that there's danger without repercussions.

3. Continue to communicate with Stepfather and Mom. Let them know that any time they need a break, the kids are welcome to stay at your house temporarily.

Meanwhile, I'm confused. You say:
My step-father has anger management issues and is not the legal guardian or blood relative of my younger brother or me. Both my brother and sister are half-siblings of mine
As I understand that, all 3 kids are your Mom's. But all 3 kids must have different fathers (with only the middle one being the stepfather's). So where are the other two fathers?
 

commentator

Senior Member
If your little brother's father is dead, he may be the family cash cow, receiving SS Death benefits from having a dead parent. If this is true, you can bet your life that your mother is not unstable enough or unaware enough to be willing to let him go, and step-father isn't going to go for it either. So you'll have a really big fight on your hands.
 

Kaylakay

Junior Member
I need help

I'm not sure how this website works but im in need, I have two younger siblings that are the age of 15,and 13. They have the same dad but he is not my father. My dad passed away when I was 18 and our mother passed away just last year, the kids are living with their father. Their dad has a heavy drinking problem and used to have a pill problem he also takes something called methadone but that is prescription. He is not a good parental figure for then. The youngest is attached to his daddy and seems to not have any issues. The oldest is a different story over the past two weeks he's been calling me crying begging me to come get him saying him and his daddy got in a argument and he head butted him. He's got a mouth but what teenager doesn't. He's a good kid. He wants to come live at our grandparents where I'm living until I get my apartment. But we know his daddy is gonna fight us. What rights as a older sister., or do my grandparents have to make it where he can come stay with us, without having to move the youngest, I wouldn't say they are in danger, buy there is mulitople occasionas were we are paying for them to get there electric cut back on or putting food in their house cause they have none. Their father receives my mother's ssi for them yet the kids still seem to have no food no new clothes etc. Yet he always had a beer In his hands. Its just not OK. Not to mention my mothers cause of death is still up in the air and she was at their fathers house at the time visiting the kids they have failure to render aid but they threw out the investigation. They were not together but he has legal custody of them. My mom wasn't the best but she took care of her children.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
I'm not sure how this website works but im in need, I have two younger siblings that are the age of 15,and 13. They have the same dad but he is not my father. My dad passed away when I was 18 and our mother passed away just last year, the kids are living with their father. Their dad has a heavy drinking problem and used to have a pill problem he also takes something called methadone but that is prescription. He is not a good parental figure for then. The youngest is attached to his daddy and seems to not have any issues. The oldest is a different story over the past two weeks he's been calling me crying begging me to come get him saying him and his daddy got in a argument and he head butted him. He's got a mouth but what teenager doesn't. He's a good kid. He wants to come live at our grandparents where I'm living until I get my apartment. But we know his daddy is gonna fight us. What rights as a older sister., or do my grandparents have to make it where he can come stay with us, without having to move the youngest, I wouldn't say they are in danger, buy there is mulitople occasionas were we are paying for them to get there electric cut back on or putting food in their house cause they have none. Their father receives my mother's ssi for them yet the kids still seem to have no food no new clothes etc. Yet he always had a beer In his hands. Its just not OK. Not to mention my mothers cause of death is still up in the air and she was at their fathers house at the time visiting the kids they have failure to render aid but they threw out the investigation. They were not together but he has legal custody of them. My mom wasn't the best but she took care of her children.

Yes, you need to start your own thread but this one is very easy to answer. You will not get custody unless Dad agrees or you can prove that he's legally unfit. I strongly doubt that you can do that. If you think there is abuse going on, you contact CPS. That's your recourse.
 
If cps gets involved and feels that there is abuse/neglect and wants to remove the children then the grandparents or you if you have a home ect and pass inspection ect could possibly get kinship placement of the children.THey could also require mom and step dad to have an evaluation. If you are concerned call CPS or the child abuse hotline 1-800-4-achild (let the hotline know all details) https://www.childhelp.org/hotline/

the hotline and web sight has some real good information please keep us posted :)
 

rc8951

Junior Member
My mother wants to leave custody on my siblings to me in her will.

My mother wants me to have custody of my siblings once she passes, their are 4. My father and her are divorced, he has a history of mental issues and has been committed before. As well as a some jail time, has anger issues and can't hold a job. Also he has other kids with atleast 2 other women, whom he doesn't see. She has already left me as her beneficiary to her life insurance. Will the will for custody hold up in court?
 

CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
My mother wants me to have custody of my siblings once she passes, their are 4. My father and her are divorced, he has a history of mental issues and has been committed before. As well as a some jail time, has anger issues and can't hold a job. Also he has other kids with atleast 2 other women, whom he doesn't see. She has already left me as her beneficiary to her life insurance. Will the will for custody hold up in court?

You cannot will a child in this country.

Please start your own thread, tell us where you're located and then indicate whether or not Dad has expressed an interest.
 

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