How does an affair affect custody decision?

[huvie33]

What is the name of your state? NY How much does having an affair affect the custody decision? Do working hours, daycare provider also affect this decision? I would like to know the main determining factors when fighting for physical custody of a young child.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? NY How much does having an affair affect the custody decision? Do working hours, daycare provider also affect this decision? I would like to know the main determining factors when fighting for physical custody of a young child.

Having an affair is uusually pretty irrelevant to custody.

The primary factor is who has been the primary caregiver to the child. Working hours can be significant...for example, if the parent works second shift (full time) and the child is school aged, then its unlikely for that parent to get primary custody...because that parent would basically never be available to spend any time with the child during the school/work week.

A daycare provider is unlikely to be a factor....unless the parent is insisting on using someone that is unfit.

However, you would get much better answers if you would simply tell the story...vague questions like this don't get you good answers.

Edit: I went back and read your previous post.

The fact that your mother is the daycare provider does not give you any "edge" for custody.

The fact that mom tends to work more than 8 hours a day also does not give you any "edge" for custody, because mom can easily change that. You both basically have the same work schedule, its just that mom tends to work late.

However...since she does tend to do that you could easily get stipulations in the custody agreement that allow you to care for the child until mom gets home from work. Therefore if mom keeps up that pattern that would give you some time with the child each day...and mom time with the child each day...which is actually ideal.

 

[huvie33]

Thanks and here is more information if this helps

State of NY, You stated that my wife could easily change her hours, this is not true in her case. She is a UPS driver who works until at least 6:30 each night, usually 7:30 and much later during the holiday rush. She is unable to take anytime off (because she is on the road all day) to bring our daughter to the doctor, dentist, ect. I am the only one who does because my job is very flexible. I do not want to take our daughter from her, I just want physical custody during the week since I don't feel it's the best interest for her to have the physical custody since she is unable with her job to do the things our daughter needs. Given all that you have read, mother is primary daycare provider, her long hours, me doing all the required doctors ect., do you think I stand a chance when asking for physical custody. I realize custody usually goes with the mother that is why I am asking. Thank you.

 

[LdiJ]

State of NY, You stated that my wife could easily change her hours, this is not true in her case. She is a UPS driver who works until at least 6:30 each night, usually 7:30 and much later during the holiday rush. She is unable to take anytime off (because she is on the road all day) to bring our daughter to the doctor, dentist, ect. I am the only one who does because my job is very flexible. I do not want to take our daughter from her, I just want physical custody during the week since I don't feel it's the best interest for her to have the physical custody since she is unable with her job to do the things our daughter needs. Given all that you have read, mother is primary daycare provider, her long hours, me doing all the required doctors ect., do you think I stand a chance when asking for physical custody. I realize custody usually goes with the mother that is why I am asking. Thank you.

Again, I think you have an opportunity to give your child something that is literally ideal...and that is time with both of you each day. You can have the child from the time that you get off work until mom does...and then mom can have the time from when she gets off work until bedtime. Then you can split the weekends. That is literally ideal for the child because the child would get to be with both of you on a daily basis.

If you can't see that...then I would have to assume that you are more concerned about who may or may not pay child support, rather than what is best for the child.