How does temporary Custody hearing work?

[missinmylilgirl]

Question then, if I truly have no right(s) whatsoever at this point in time. Why would the judge grant an emergency custody hearing then? I laid all the factual information on the table at time of submitting request for emergency custody?

I mean I'm not doubting you folks, but I'm curious then if the hearing is a waste of time then? And why even do it?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Without us seeing the "grounds" here, we don't know what your lawyer put down.

Going for you:
You lived with the mom so the child had a relationship with BOTH of you. You shouldn't have to start at ground zero - that is one point that I would be pushing for.

 

[CourtClerk]

Everyone has the right to due process. Everyone has the right to be heard in court. That's your constitutional right. Just because they are giving you a hearing doesn't mean they are granting your motion.

Literally, everyday, my courtroom is filled with ex parte motions for all kinds of stuff. Less than 1% of them are true emergencies. 100% of them are heard on their emergency motions to be told that 99% of them are not emergencies and we'll schedule a hearing or a trial for another day.

 

[missinmylilgirl]

Ah, I guess I should clarify this a lil bit then. I'm sorry about that.

I requested an ex parte hearing on the basis the mother was a flight risk, emotionally unstable and is subjecting our child to an environment not conducive of positive childhood development.

That got denied**************...

However, I recieved a hearing date which was only 5 business days after the denial of my ex parte motion, which she was served for the next day (by pure and utter luck and a highly skilled process server). So as far as due process goes, the emergency hearing (NON EX PARTE) was granted without reguards to the typical 20 day response, back and forth, ETC.

Also, I guess I should note that my girl / ex was on probation for a fairly serious drug charge. She was early terminated based on the stability she gained in my home and personal recommendations from myself and immediate family members.

Ironically enough that CRIMINAL judge who termed her probation 3 weeks before she fled is now our CIVIL judge in this whole situation. I don't know if any of this has any relevance. But I figured additional information may be helpful.

I also have copies of 'blogs' and crapola where her current guy discusses their current drug and recreational habits. (Dunno if its admissable, but why not try!). And then last but not least, I've got various letters of recommendation for neighbors who are law enforcement officers, pastors ETC which knew the both of us quite well. (Probably not overly relevent but figured it may be 'moving' at the least)

 

[CourtClerk]

Ah, I guess I should clarify this a lil bit then. I'm sorry about that.

I requested an ex parte hearing on the basis the mother was a flight risk, emotionally unstable and is subjecting our child to an environment not conducive of positive childhood development.

That got denied**************...

I can see why...

However, I recieved a hearing date which was only 5 business days after the denial of my ex parte motion, which she was served for the next day (by pure and utter luck and a highly skilled process server). So as far as due process goes, the emergency hearing (NON EX PARTE) was granted without reguards to the typical 20 day response, back and forth, ETC.

Also, I guess I should note that my girl / ex was on probation for a fairly serious drug charge. She was early terminated based on the stability she gained in my home and personal recommendations from myself and immediate family members.

Ironically enough that CRIMINAL judge who termed her probation 3 weeks before she fled is now our CIVIL judge in this whole situation. I don't know if any of this has any relevance. But I figured additional information may be helpful.

I also have copies of 'blogs' and crapola where her current guy discusses their current drug and recreational habits. (Dunno if its admissable, but why not try!). And then last but not least, I've got various letters of recommendation for neighbors who are law enforcement officers, pastors ETC which knew the both of us quite well. (Probably not overly relevent but figured it may be 'moving' at the least)

Remember that with all the stones you are willing to throw at her, you are no angel and be prepared for your past and lack of sound judgment, especially when it comes to YOUR hormones to come up also. Character assassination isn't always the best way to go

 

[missinmylilgirl]

Character assassination isn't always the best way to go

What is the best way to go then? As far as my past, clearly my decisions pertaining to her weren't sound but I really have a clean past. Business owner, stability, no record, some traffic citations.....I've even attended parenting courses (state ones, voluntarily) and have a BA in child psych. I didn't mention any of this because of relevance or lack there of (in my opinion).

But like I said, what IS the best way to go then? Question to the experts that hear fools like us every day in court(s)?

 

[CourtClerk]

I'll tell you, my judge and I are always impressed at someone who, even though you have some significant philosophical differences with can come into court and deal with each other with dignity. Because when it all comes down to it, while you're in there trying to trash the other person, all of the courtroom staff (judge included) is rolling their eyes severely because with all this going on that you have coming out of your mouth, THIS IS THE PERSON YOU CHOSE TO MAKE A BABY WITH.

Arranged marriages went out the door a long time ago and no one forced you to have sex with this person, therefore, the choice was ABSOLUTELY yours. Business owner or not. That you are finanically successful means nothing because I know a lot of people who are book smart who don't have an ounce of common sense or street smarts. Remember, that this person you are so willing to trash in open court is the same person you are going to have to have some semblance of a relationship with for at least 18 years.... and you child WILL hear about all the things you said about their other parent... in court.

So walk in and state your case. There is a way to do so without trashing people. People do it all the time and can walk out with their heads held high and the people who have to deal with them in court not feeling sorry for them or the children they brought into this situation. If you feel the child is in danger, then state that... there's a way to do it without trashing someone. If you feel you are the better parent, then make your case for it, remembering (once again) that this nasty, filthy slut bucket that runs around from man to man is the woman you slept with unprotected... so what does that make YOU?

 

[missinmylilgirl]

If you feel you are the better parent, then make your case for it, remembering (once again) that this nasty, filthy slut bucket that runs around from man to man is the woman you slept with unprotected... so what does that make YOU?

LMAO, whoa. That was intense**************......But frankly, I do still love her and don't want to hurt her. But above all else i feel like I MUST look out for my daughter and protect her interest above my feelings about her mother. And ya, after all the dust settles I'd still do anything in the world for this girl. I don't look 'down upon her' and I'm sorry for leading anyone to believe that.

But i do STRONGLY feel that she is NOT thinking of our daughter in all of this and not looking out for her best interest (personal opinion is she's not thinking of our daughter in the least). No less than 3 weeks prior to her leaving she was discussing 'us' getting married with my grandmother**************..So I have no earthly clue what triggered all of this except possibly something psychological (not casting stones, but stating a strong opinion).

And my intent is NOT to keep our daughter away from her mother, not now or in the future. I'm FIRM believer in 2 people who love their child trying to make the best of things for their childs sake above all else! And in an ideal situation they stay together, but often times thats impossible. Is this one of those? Well, at this point, who knows.

But what I do know is that I need to ensure my daughters safety above all else and more importantly her emotional well being. And i believe that this cannot be done in this kind of household or environment. My home, care, my families care was good enough for 11 mths of my daughters life, so why not now?

Does any of this make sense? I guess I just don't know how to explain this to a judge and give him cause of action for anything. I mean ya, he'll respect me for my point of view. But he also has to do whats legal, fair and just. Reguardless right?

I mean I know that MOST people in custody disputes are P/Oed, hurt, what not and I am too, but my interest are TRULY in my daughter above all else. And once again I don't want to hurt her mother in all of this, but in my opinion I must preserve my daughters interest at any/all cost(s) and hope that one day her mother will understand. (MAYBE).

 

[LdiJ]

Does the judge know that your paternity has not been established? Does your attorney know that your paternity has not been established?

That is honestly a biggie and you should WANT to admit that paternity has not yet been established because you should WANT the DNA test.

 

[missinmylilgirl]

Yes of course, in fact with my original petition that I filed I included our private DNA test and a motion for submission to the court. I've laid everything out FACTUALLY. I'm really trying to play ball fair here w/out any punches.

 

[missinmylilgirl]

What about visitation and paternity establishment?

Is it possible even without paternity establishment as a matter of law that the judge will at least grant me and/or my family with visitation? Or am I a "LEGAL STRANGER" so that isn't going to happen? And when the judge compells a paternity test, how long does that process take?

 

[LdiJ]

Is it possible even without paternity establishment as a matter of law that the judge will at least grant me and/or my family with visitation? Or am I a "LEGAL STRANGER" so that isn't going to happen? And when the judge compells a paternity test, how long does that process take?

You are a legal stranger until paternity is legally established. Its possible that the judge could accept your private DNA test, although I honestly don't know of any specific cases where a judge has. Paternity tests take a few weeks. Getting a hearing scheduled after the test comes back varies based on how crowded the court dockets are.

Visitation or custody doesn't happen until after paternity is legally established and no, your family would not be granted visitation.

 

[missinmylilgirl]

You are a legal stranger until paternity is legally established. Its possible that the judge could accept your private DNA test, although I honestly don't know of any specific cases where a judge has. Paternity tests take a few weeks. Getting a hearing scheduled after the test comes back varies based on how crowded the court dockets are.

Visitation or custody doesn't happen until after paternity is legally established and no, your family would not be granted visitation.

Ya i've honestly found NO presedence (spelling) where a judge would not require a court order paternity test instead unless her mother and I signed and AOP which I believe is too late now because she's over a year old**************

So long story short, odds are i'm going to walk into this hearing screwed from the get go, is kinda the jest of what I'm understanding from everyone.

 

[missinmylilgirl]

I guess it still boggles the mind then why on earth the judge would even grant the emergency hearing in the first place then :

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

You may not get what you are looking from an "emergency" hearing because, well, it's just NOT an emergency. It may get the ball rolling on parenting time and child support.