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  1. #1
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    How does temporary Custody hearing work?

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

    I'll try and make this brief and to the point but with as much detail as possible.

    I have an emergency hearing for custody in 3 days. I filed my original paperwork almost 20 days ago pro se and then decided that I needed to preserve my daughters safety and well being at all cost(s) and hired an attorney and he's file emergency paperwork, ETC and we finally got her served.

    I'm curious how these things typically go. Yes, my attorney will be telling me. But I also know he's going to tell me what he thinks I NEED to hear and what not. I'd rather have people who have been there or even deal with it on a daily basis.

    Also, we are unmarried and my name is not on the BC (due to my stupidity not knowing I had to sign it, I thought she did everything**************.once again STUPIDITY). daughter is about 13 mths

    My grounds for requesting Temp custody are as follows:
    GF left over a month ago without for warning. Stated she was moving up north and did so.
    She has since returned to FL and moved in with an old friend which she is now dating and living with. My daughter has been with her every step of the way. Both of them have criminal backgrounds. He even is still married and has a child himself. I have no history or anything. There has been no DV issues or anything else. My ex has a history of living with men (and marrying them) that are alcoholics, drug users and individuals that have commited acts of DV against her. The place she moved was about 200 miles away, but originally when she left she moved 1200 miles away.

    I've lived in the same home for years, she lived here for almost 2 years herself with our child. I will not lie or abuse the system, but I need to know how to present things to ensure that I recieve temporary custody. I feel that she does not have my child best interest in mind. She's enguaging in a new relationship already while living with him and my child. He's NOT a good person in any sense of the word. She has no job, no vehicle, no money, no skill set, nothing 'going for her'. I should also note that he too has no education or employment. The vehicle that he does own isn't even registered to be driven on FL roads yet he does it anyways.

    Can anyone help and give me input and/or words of wisdom before I walk into court? I really love and miss my daughter and in alot of ways still love my ex in spite of all of this, which is why I held off for almost 3 weeks before going head on with all of this. She won't even respond to emails let alone allow me any visitation. I missed my daughters 1st birthday and christmas as well as new years. I'm at my wits end.

    Input is appreciated.
    Last edited by missinmylilgirl; 01-03-2009 at 07:10 PM.
  2. #2
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    I haven't read anything in your post that warrants a change in custody, especially in an emergency basis. Nothing at all.
  3. #3
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CourtClerk View Post
    I haven't read anything in your post that warrants a change in custody, especially in an emergency basis. Nothing at all.
    I agree. In addition, your paternity has to be estabished first, and that alone may make an emergency order impossible.
  4. #4
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    The other thing that really sticks out is NOW he has a problem with his ex's criminal past but a few months ago that was NOT a concern. So when did this criminal past happen?
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  5. #5
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    Well, a month ago i didnt have a problem with criminal past because it was in the past. She quit associating with those people and appeared to have truly reform her life. But now she's associating back with known drug offenders amongst other things and has shed the 'stability' and 'new life' which has gotten her off of probation no more than 3 weeks prior to this occuring.

    As far as a change of circumstances, doesnt her behavior itself constitute a change in circumstances? Doesn't her co-habitating with someone else already show that our childs best interest aren't being served? What about the denial of visitation?

    And to paternity. Paternity was established, but not as 'a matter of law'. So we also filed a motion for scientific paternity testing as well.

    So can anyone tell me what DOES constitute change in circumstances or emergency custody awards? Both professional and personal opinions?

    Thankyou everyone so far for your feedback.
  6. #6
    Zigner is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by missinmylilgirl View Post
    Well, a month ago i didnt have a problem with criminal past because it was in the past. She quit associating with those people and appeared to have truly reform her life.
    Then why did you say this:

    My ex has a history of living with men (and marrying them) that are alcoholics, drug users and individuals that have commited acts of DV against her.
    The past is the past...


    ETA: I'm not saying that to be argumentative...I'm just pointing out how things will look (and do look) to an outsider...
  7. #7
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by missinmylilgirl View Post
    Well, a month ago i didnt have a problem with criminal past because it was in the past. She quit associating with those people and appeared to have truly reform her life. But now she's associating back with known drug offenders amongst other things and has shed the 'stability' and 'new life' which has gotten her off probation no more than 3 weeks prior to this occuring.
    How long had she been "stable" before you started bedding her? You ever heard the saying "a leopard doesn't change their spots?"
    As far as a change of circumstances, doesnt her behavior itself constitute a change in circumstances?
    No
    Doesn't her co-habitating with someone else already show that our childs best interest aren't being served?
    No. But how long did you know her before you started sleeping with her?
    What about the denial of visitation?
    There is not court order for visitation, nor are you the legal father of this child. There is no visitation to be denied. At this point she gets to decide who the child visits with and who the child doesn't. She didn't steal her child, she's not withholding her child. It's her child to do with what she pleases.
    And to paternity. Paternity was established, but not as 'a matter of law'. So we also filed a motion for scientific paternity testing as well.
    Matter of law is all that matters. What do you mean paternity was established? By whom?
    So can anyone tell me what DOES constitute change in circumstances or emergency custody awards? Both professional and personal opinions?
    Where the child is in imminent and immediate danger. Aside from your fears about someone who is acting the exact same way she was acting before you have no proof the child is in immediate danger.

    Oh, and before this, what did you do to establish paternity and seek a custody and visitation order for this child? The child is over a year old, what took you so long?
  8. #8
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    Me and her mother lived together for the past 2 yrs nearly. We had known each other for lil over 4 years.

    And i knew of her past situations, however didnt know the intimate details of her behavior until the custody dispute came up and had to do some background research. Her reason for being on probation was supposibly 'wrong place wrong time'**************.YES naive to believe that, but never the less I did. Instead found out she was got holding the bag, litterally and figuratively.

    And of course we always assume that our choice in mate is trying to self better themselves**************ETC which is what I did, and i still actually believe that (although current actions clearly show otherwise!).

    There was no need to seek custody, visitation, etc (in my mind) because we were living together, planning our future together and in love**************...ETC. We werent married yet, but thats because of me**************.wanting to try and have all my ducks in a row financially and mentally first (Yes, sounds like BS but its the truth).

    And as far as paternity goes, well we had our own paternity test done, prenatally and it shows my paternity being established prior to birth.

    And yes, I know I'm more/less an idiot in this whole situation, but I didnt plan for the worst, instead I believed in the best, I really did. Foolish yes, but I feel you should never go into a relationship expecting/planning for failure......it's gives a stigma ahead of time that shouldnt be there.

    And don't worry about 'sugar coating' things. I've noted alot of other people getting pissy or offended by some peoples responses. I WILL NOT. I appreciate the responses whether they are what I'm looking to hear or not.

    So what does constitute eminent danger though? That term could be interpreted by any number of means and that FL statutes don't spell it out.

    Thankyou, AGAIN
  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    I agree. In addition, your paternity has to be estabished first, and that alone may make an emergency order impossible.
    I thought in emergency custody situations even people whom aren't directly related can petition for temporary custody to protect the child. At the very least i'm the presumptive father right?
  10. #10
    Zigner is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by missinmylilgirl View Post
    At the very least i'm the presumptive father right?
    WRONG.
    You are a legal stranger. You will need to have paternity established LEGALLY.
  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zigner View Post
    WRONG.
    You are a legal stranger. You will need to have paternity established LEGALLY.

    You know, that REALLY sucks! Actually I've kinda learn throughout this and even though the issue of custody is SUPPOSED to be a level playing feel, the system and of course nature by its very design favors the mother in all aspects of the proceeding. So I'm just trying to figure out how to overcome typical hurdles.
  12. #12
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    You're at a level playing field when you've married the mother THEN made the baby (ya know, within the confines of a marriage). States then had to make up rules for those who did it the other way.

    Oh, and Zigner (a male) has custody of ALL of his children. So let's get off of that the courts favor the mother crap, ok?
  13. #13
    TinkerBelleLuvr is offline Senior Member
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    If you want the same legal protection as a MARRIED fella, then you have to do it the same routine old way:

    Find a gal that you like
    Ask her to marry you
    GET MARRIED
    Then have the babies

    Since you chose to bypass steps 1-3, then until paternity is established, you have as many rights as that clerk in the store (or court house ) - zip, none, nada
  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by CourtClerk View Post
    You're at a level playing field when you've married the mother THEN made the baby (ya know, within the confines of a marriage). States then had to make up rules for those who did it the other way.

    Oh, and Zigner (a male) has custody of ALL of his children. So let's get off of that the courts favor the mother crap, ok?

    Well, ya I guess in retrospect there is alot of could've, would've, should've**************...and in spite of the circumstances I thought I was doing the right thing, but clearly I made some key mistakes. CLEARLY.

    Any advice on how to proceed from here though, other than patience? Any ideas on what I can do to try and regain any ground I may have lost by my own stupidity(s).

    And all I mean by the courts favoring the mother was actually by design of nature. The mother is the only person ALWAYS presumed to be a biological parent and thats nearly impossible to dispute (for obvious reasons) where as even within confines of marriage and all that jazz.. The father CAN be an unknown variable.
  15. #15
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginny J View Post
    Since you chose to bypass steps 1-3, then until paternity is established, you have as many rights as that clerk in the store (or court house ) - zip, none, nada
    He he ha ha....

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