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  1. #1
    geruches is offline Junior Member
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    How to fight, Department of Social Services

    Live in Maryland - This is about my 21 year old daughter. Not even sure were to begin but here it goes.

    My daughter has two children ages 3 and 2. She living on her own, I thought she was doing well. But I believe she being 'Rail Roaded" by the Department of Social Services because she has a "Learning Disability" and her IQ is below normal.

    Social Service took her two children away. The reason she stated was.
    Because the house had bed bugs, roaches, unclean house, not keeping doctors appointments, not supervising the children.

    Social Services made her go to a psychologist. The psychologist stated in court her IQ was low. That she wasn't fit to raise children.

    What I know for a fact is that she has plenty of clothes, food, furniture, roof over their head. When she moved out of my house, she didn't have bed bugs, roaches, nor was she unclean.

    She lives in public housing and she been having problems after the first year. People call Social Services and tells lies about her. Social Services push her to keep the house clean. She court order to get her GED. Which she has already completed the 12 grade when she was 18. But because she was in "Special Ed." They didn't give her a regular diplomas. The school just gave her a certificate saying she completed school.

    Actually I don't know what to do to help my daughter to get her children back. As I'm unemployed at the moment. I really don't have the money to hire a lawery.

    Any advice you can give, Thanks a bunch
  2. #2
    sometwo is offline Senior Member
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    Do you have guardianship of your daughter? Does anyone have guardianship of her?

    She may qualify for legal assistance. I would call legal aid in the area. Social services should also be helping her or I would think they would have a plan for her to do.

    A learning disability by itself shouldn't keep her from having her children.

    Has your daughter took parenting classes and looked to the community for help and to see what programs they offer?

    There are lots of programs out there that can help her. Social services can also help you locate these programs and probably legal aid too.
  3. #3
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by geruches View Post

    My daughter has two children ages 3 and 2.
    . . . When she moved out of my house, she didn't have bed bugs, roaches, nor was she unclean.

    She lives in public housing and she been having problems after the first year.


    You comment how it looked when she moved out. When did YOU last see her home? How do YOU know the neighbors are "telling lies"? Are the children being supervised? Have you observed this from a distance, or is all of your knowledge of this from daughter? How much PERSONAL knowledge do you have of daughter's current household other than what she tells you?
  4. #4
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by geruches View Post
    Live in Maryland - This is about my 21 year old daughter. Not even sure were to begin but here it goes.

    My daughter has two children ages 3 and 2. She living on her own, I thought she was doing well. But I believe she being 'Rail Roaded" by the Department of Social Services because she has a "Learning Disability" and her IQ is below normal.

    Social Service took her two children away. The reason she stated was.
    Because the house had bed bugs, roaches, unclean house, not keeping doctors appointments, not supervising the children.

    Social Services made her go to a psychologist. The psychologist stated in court her IQ was low. That she wasn't fit to raise children.

    What I know for a fact is that she has plenty of clothes, food, furniture, roof over their head. When she moved out of my house, she didn't have bed bugs, roaches, nor was she unclean.
    How low is her IQ? If it's 90, that's one thing, but if it's 60 or 70, that's another matter.

    How long ago did she move out? How long does it take for a home to get dirty or for a parent to not supervise the children?

    Social Services is pretty good at weeding out fake complaints. If they report something, they probably witnessed it themselves. It is not likely for them to write a report based on hearsay. Based on that, I would assume that the claims are true - and your daughter probably needs help to raise the children.

    If I were in your shoes, I'd be working WITH Social Services to get the help your daughter needs so the children could be brought back to her. Fighting them is likely to be a losing battle - not to mention terribly expensive.
  5. #5
    geruches is offline Junior Member
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    My daughter been working with Social Services. I been in touch with Social Services myself. They mention to me about the bed bugs, roaches, etc. She lives in a two story townhouse. I know that she didn't carry any kinds of bugs to where she lives at. She moved from my home to her own place. I sure didn't have those kinds of beds.

    I do make surprise visit to my daughter's house. From what I seen it's not what I would call dirty. A little messy at times but that's to be excepted when you have two small children.

    Been living on her own since June of 2008. Yes, she took parenting classes. Her IQ is between 76 and 70. Ok, I never told her she was a bit on the slow side. And that's my fault. When she was a child I didn't want her to think she was different. I had her tested when she was 2 1/2 years old because she wouldn't talk. She been in school ever since she was 3 years old. She did finish the 12th grade. She walked across the stage. But like I said, the school didn't give her a diploma.

    Her main problem is she has a hard time "Comprehending". She knows how to cook, clean, shop, etc. I don't think she realize how serious this is.

    I just found this stuff out yesterday. I'm trying to get in contact with Social Services today. See what else they have to say. My daughter is making copy of all the court papers, etc. And mailing them to me. She happens to live in a different town.

    I'll get back to you all later, when I know more. Thank You
  6. #6
    Antigone* is offline Senior Member
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    I don't mean to be horrible about this, but I wonder if your daughter is really equipped to behave in a manner that is conducive to her raising two children. It is even scary that she even has children if she can barely take care of herself.
  7. #7
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antigone*of*Greece View Post
    I don't mean to be horrible about this, but I wonder if your daughter is really equipped to behave in a manner that is conducive to her raising two children. It is even scary that she even has children if she can barely take care of herself.
    I agree. I have also wondered why OP didn't take DD to the OB/GYN for an "implant" after the first child was born. I also wonder when the last Neurological Psych testing was done? Just the one testing session at 2? A two year old having a 70-76 I.Q. is MUCH different than an almost/adult having said I.Q. .

    OP...Could you please clarify these questions so that we may offer more informed advice/opinions for this situation?
  8. #8
    acmb05 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by geruches View Post
    My daughter been working with Social Services. I been in touch with Social Services myself. They mention to me about the bed bugs, roaches, etc. She lives in a two story townhouse. I know that she didn't carry any kinds of bugs to where she lives at. She moved from my home to her own place. I sure didn't have those kinds of beds.
    Sorry but bed bugs are very common and they can be carried in from anywhere. Your daughter could have picked them up at a friends house very easily and had them on her when she went home.

    Quote Originally Posted by geruches View Post
    I do make surprise visit to my daughter's house. From what I seen it's not what I would call dirty. A little messy at times but that's to be excepted when you have two small children.
    Ok, but when social services showed up it very well could have been dirty. The people who work there are trained for this stuff. They can tell the difference between messy and dirty.

    Quote Originally Posted by geruches View Post
    Been living on her own since June of 2008. Yes, she took parenting classes. Her IQ is between 76 and 70. Ok, I never told her she was a bit on the slow side. And that's my fault. When she was a child I didn't want her to think she was different. I had her tested when she was 2 1/2 years old because she wouldn't talk. She been in school ever since she was 3 years old. She did finish the 12th grade. She walked across the stage. But like I said, the school didn't give her a diploma.
    Did you check with the school and make sure she had all the credits she needed to graduate. With your daughter being "slow" they very well could have let her participate in graduation even though she did not have the credits needed to graduate.

    Quote Originally Posted by geruches View Post
    Her main problem is she has a hard time "Comprehending". She knows how to cook, clean, shop, etc. I don't think she realize how serious this is.
    So when social services told her what she needed to do in order to keep her children she did not do it so they took the kids. Rarely (unless abuse is involved) do they remove the children on the first visit. They normally give a parent time to comply with a list of demands that they give them first.

    Quote Originally Posted by geruches View Post
    I just found this stuff out yesterday. I'm trying to get in contact with Social Services today. See what else they have to say. My daughter is making copy of all the court papers, etc. And mailing them to me. She happens to live in a different town.

    I'll get back to you all later, when I know more. Thank You
    Be lucky if social services even discusses this with you. They may tell you some things but your child is an adult and as such her business with them is confidential and should not be discussed with anyone who is not directly involved. This includes you unless you have guardianship of your daughter.
  9. #9
    geruches is offline Junior Member
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    My daughter had IP test done all through her school years. She has already apply for a "Disability". Her IQ is that low now. She was just tested again approx. a month ago.

    I did take her to a OB/GYN. She was on birth control pills. But instead of shoveling them down her throat. I would keep a eye on her making sure she took them. I let my guard down and trusted her. She missed a few. No I wasn't happy when she got pregnant.

    The laws in Maryland are different. As a parent you have "No Say" on what type of birth control method a teen 16 and over can use. I even told the doctors she was slow. That made no difference. Believe me, I didn't want her to have children at such a young age. I even suggested abortion or adoption but of course you can't force that either. My hands were tie.

    She was living with me when she had her son. She was doing fine then. She would do what mothers do. No I didn't interfer, because I wanted her to know it's not that easy raising children on your own.

    Like I said, After I talk to Social Services I'll know more.
  10. #10
    geruches is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by acmb05 View Post
    Sorry but bed bugs are very common and they can be carried in from anywhere. Your daughter could have picked them up at a friends house very easily and had them on her when she went home..
    The Social Worker said something about the "Bed Bugs" & "Roaches". The housing devolpement were she lives has people that come out and spray once a month. Heck, I didn't know what "Bed Bugs" were until the worker told me about it. I had to look it up online. They can crawl from one townhouse to another through cracks.

    Quote Originally Posted by acmb05 View Post
    Did you check with the school and make sure she had all the credits she needed to graduate. With your daughter being "slow" they very well could have let her participate in graduation even though she did not have the credits needed to graduate..
    I was told by the school she wouldn't get a diploma. That would get a certificate saying she completed school. Because she was in some program call. "Learning for Life". I'll have to call the school and talk with them some more.

    Quote Originally Posted by acmb05 View Post
    So when social services told her what she needed to do in order to keep her children she did not do it so they took the kids. Rarely (unless abuse is involved) do they remove the children on the first visit. They normally give a parent time to comply with a list of demands that they give them first.
    Sorry I wasn't clear. This isn't the first time she dealt with Social Services.


    Quote Originally Posted by acmb05 View Post
    Be lucky if social services even discusses this with you. They may tell you some things but your child is an adult and as such her business with them is confidential and should not be discussed with anyone who is not directly involved. This includes you unless you have guardianship of your daughter.
    The worker talk to me before in the pass. Hopefully they will talk to me again.
  11. #11
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by geruches View Post
    My daughter had IP test done all through her school years. She has already apply for a "Disability". Her IQ is that low now. She was just tested again approx. a month ago.

    I did take her to a OB/GYN. She was on birth control pills. But instead of shoveling them down her throat. I would keep a eye on her making sure she took them. I let my guard down and trusted her. She missed a few. No I wasn't happy when she got pregnant.

    The laws in Maryland are different. As a parent you have "No Say" on what type of birth control method a teen 16 and over can use. I even told the doctors she was slow. That made no difference. Believe me, I didn't want her to have children at such a young age. I even suggested abortion or adoption but of course you can't force that either. My hands were tie.

    She was living with me when she had her son. She was doing fine then. She would do what mothers do. No I didn't interfer, because I wanted her to know it's not that easy raising children on your own.

    Like I said, After I talk to Social Services I'll know more.
    I agree with the others. I doubt if she really should be living on her own with kids.
  12. #12
    Zigner is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by geruches View Post
    No I didn't interfer, because I wanted her to know it's not that easy raising children on your own.
    I don't want this statement from the OP to be glossed over...it made me shake my head.
  13. #13
    geruches is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistoffolees View Post
    I agree with the others. I doubt if she really should be living on her own with kids.
    I would be the first to admit that she shouldn't have her children. If I knew exactly what happen.

    Being I'm her mother. I'm just at wits end. I just don't want to see her get railroaded.

    The reason she's living on her own is because I lost my house to forecloser, lost my job. She wouldn't have had a place to live if she didn't sign up for housing. Heck I wasn't even sure where I was going to move too. I end up moving in with my sister. If I didn't lose the house she still be living with me. She wanted to move on her own and I couldn't stop her from doing that.

    She suppose to go back to court in 3 months. I found out.
  14. #14
    geruches is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zigner View Post
    I don't want this statement from the OP to be glossed over...it made me shake my head.
    What exactly do you mean by that?

    What you think I should have step in and did everything for her?
    Last edited by geruches; 10-26-2010 at 02:07 PM.
  15. #15
    jbowman is offline Senior Member
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    So the kids were put in the system? Why didnt they go to you or another family member? Can you get them?
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