how to file abandonment

[melped3]

Colorado.
Seeking advice on how to file abandonment on my ex. Hasnt had contact since 2005 nor paid child support. Wondering if I can file in colorado if im originally from Texas. Also trying to see of my husband could adopt. Thank you any advice helps.

 

[Proserpina]

Colorado.
Seeking advice on how to file abandonment on my ex. Hasnt had contact since 2005 nor paid child support. Wondering if I can file in colorado if im originally from Texas. Also trying to see of my husband could adopt. Thank you any advice helps.

If you have orders out of Texas, that's where you'd file. Same applies for Colorado.

Speak to an adoption attorney; adoption is rarely a DIY project and you need to have everything done properly.

 

[melped3]

So is there no way to file in Colorado even if im originally from Texas. Also im not able to financially get a lawyer and file for adoption, besides I have no idea where the man is. That's why i read by filing abandonment id be able to to the same thing.

 

[Proserpina]

So is there no way to file in Colorado even if im originally from Texas. Also im not able to financially get a lawyer and file for adoption, besides I have no idea where the man is. That's why i read by filing abandonment id be able to to the same thing.

No, it isn't able to do the same thing. There is a process, and you must go through that process - there are no loopholes. Your case is even more complex because there will a problem with proper service.


(No, we cannot walk you through every step).

 

[melped3]

Im sorry what do you mean by..i will have a problem because of proper service

 

[Proserpina]

Im sorry what do you mean by..i will have a problem because of proper service

Hon, this is what I'm talking about.

In order to do anything about Dad's legal rights, he must be properly "served". This means you need to know where he is. There are ways to overcome that (service by publication for example), but this should NOT be attempted without an attorney unless you are absolutely certain you know what you're doing.

I'm not saying this to be mean, but you're nowhere near the point where you can handle this yourself.

 

[Ohiogal]

Adoption would most likely take place in Colorado however the service issues need dealt with.

 

[melped3]

I appreciate the responses. I do not feel you are being mean..I juts read in several places that the exception to having him served would be to file abandoment on the father and the requirements are no contact for 12 month and no attempt to pay child support. So is that not true?

 

[Proserpina]

I appreciate the responses. I do not feel you are being mean..I juts read in several places that the exception to having him served would be to file abandoment on the father and the requirements are no contact for 12 month and no attempt to pay child support. So is that not true?

The court cannot and will not terminate a parent's rights without due process.

Let me give you an example.

Mom and Dad aren't married, but live together. Dad has to go overseas to work for a year, and both are fine with that. Three months into the year though, Mom is fedup and lonely and meets a guy she wants to marry and replace Dad with her new husband. She files for child support, fudges service a bit, and gets a child support order .. that Dad never sees. Lo and behold, at the 11 month mark she files to have Dad's rights terminated.

That wouldn't really be fair, would it?

Now I realize that your situation is different but the court doesn't know you from Adam and unfortunately - I might get slammed for being sexist here but stay with me because I'll explain - there are too many women who will lie upside down and sideways to make the father look bad in court.

(I said "women", because - and this is a simple fact - more often than not, Mom has primary custody)

 

[melped3]

Thank you for explaining and the example..yes my situaion is very different. My ex has not had contact with me since my son since my son was 10 months old and he is 12 yrs now..and my daughter is 11 and has never met him..the last time I spoke to him he said he wants nothing to do with them and if want to do anything I would have to pay. Ive been married aince 2009 and my husband is the only father they know..the reason I am pursuing it it because my son wants to change his last name and he wont stop asking to have it change. Then at the risk of aounding like a broken record what is the purpose or exception of filing abandonment.

 

[Proserpina]

Thank you for explaining and the example..yes my situaion is very different. My ex has not had contact with me since my son since my son was 10 months old and he is 12 yrs now..and my daughter is 11 and has never met him..the last time I spoke to him he said he wants nothing to do with them and if want to do anything I would have to pay. Ive been married aince 2009 and my husband is the only father they know..the reason I am pursuing it it because my son wants to change his last name and he wont stop asking to have it change. Then at the risk of aounding like a broken record what is the purpose or exception of filing abandonment.

It's not impossible to do, by any means - but this is really one you have to do with an attorney.

Even when all parties agree a stepparent adoption is very rarely a DIY project. You have a parent who won't cooperate and a possible issue with serving him - in my opinion that makes an attorney essential; s/he can guide you further and discuss whether abandonment is or isn't feasible.

 

[melped3]

Thank you very much..I appreciate your time.

 

[Just Blue]

Thank you very much..I appreciate your time.

Px Hx.

 

[LdiJ]

It's not impossible to do, by any means - but this is really one you have to do with an attorney.

Even when all parties agree a stepparent adoption is very rarely a DIY project. You have a parent who won't cooperate and a possible issue with serving him - in my opinion that makes an attorney essential; s/he can guide you further and discuss whether abandonment is or isn't feasible.

I agree that they absolutely should speak to an attorney. I am also not at all sure that jurisdiction for an adoption would follow jurisdiction for the parenting case between the parents. It is a separate cause of action, completely unconnected to the parenting case. They players are not entirely the same either.

 

[Zigner]

I agree that they absolutely should speak to an attorney. I am also not at all sure that jurisdiction for an adoption would follow jurisdiction for the parenting case between the parents. It is a separate cause of action, completely unconnected to the parenting case. They players are not entirely the same either.

Don't worry - this OP changes genders (and stories) in half a week's time.