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How to get my kids back from Grandparents

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Princess30

Guest
I signed custody of my 3 children over to my husbands parents 7 months ago until my husband and I could get a divorce and get back on our feet....I had an affair and I don't justify that by any means but our marriage was over and neither one of us had the guts to walk away..finally I said enough is enough, the arguing was to much for our children so I decided to end the marriage...It was a very confusing time for me and I believed in my heart that it was a good idea for the kids to be w/their grandparents rather than be tossed back and forth and be used as a weapon for my husband to get what he wanted....now that the grandparents have custody they will not let me call the kids or have any contact w/them..I have a standard order of custody but they still won't allow me to talk w/my kids..
I moved out of the state to missouri so that my husband would leave me alone and focus on our children and everyone agreed that temporarily that was the best thing...a little space was the best idea and now that are saying I abandoned the kids (which is NOT the case, it was stated in my custody order that every party knew and agreed it was the best option)..my question is what do I have to do or what is the best route for me to take to regain custody of my kids?
 


LegalBeagle

Senior Member
Princess30 said:
I signed custody of my 3 children over to my husbands parents 7 months ago until my husband and I could get a divorce and get back on our feet....I had an affair and I don't justify that by any means but our marriage was over and neither one of us had the guts to walk away..finally I said enough is enough, the arguing was to much for our children so I decided to end the marriage...It was a very confusing time for me and I believed in my heart that it was a good idea for the kids to be w/their grandparents rather than be tossed back and forth and be used as a weapon for my husband to get what he wanted....now that the grandparents have custody they will not let me call the kids or have any contact w/them..I have a standard order of custody but they still won't allow me to talk w/my kids..
I moved out of the state to missouri so that my husband would leave me alone and focus on our children and everyone agreed that temporarily that was the best thing...a little space was the best idea and now that are saying I abandoned the kids (which is NOT the case, it was stated in my custody order that every party knew and agreed it was the best option)..my question is what do I have to do or what is the best route for me to take to regain custody of my kids?
You say you have a standard order or custody but also say that you signed custody to the GP's .. was this another custody order or just a piece of scrap paper ?

Sorry, but you did abandon your children. You walked away from them at a time when they needed you most..
 

MySonsMom

Senior Member
Not only did you give them away/abandon them, you left the state.

I detest situations like this. Alot of people have heard me speak of parents doing just what this poster has done.

You gave your children away, you left the state without them, you now have a "better" life and you want them back. GEESH! And what about these g-parents that have STEPPED UP TO THE PLATE AND CARED FOR THEM? What about the children having a home with them now?? C'Mon!
 
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mjbyrne

Guest
Princess,

I my self was a little upset when I read the reply from MyMomsSon to your post. Life is so different these days with kids. I have a 16 year old daughter who is out od=f control and I want to sign my Parental Rights over cause she has attaked me several times and is currently in a Detention Home till her trial.
I am from Missouri also.Right now Im living in Va.
If you want to talk you can reach me at [email protected].
Good Luck and I feel for what your going through.
Mary Jo
 

MySonsMom

Senior Member
Re: Princess,

mjbyrne said:
I my self was a little upset when I read the reply from MyMomsSon to your post. Life is so different these days with kids. I have a 16 year old daughter who is out od=f control and I want to sign my Parental Rights over cause she has attaked me several times and is currently in a Detention Home till her trial.
I am from Missouri also.Right now Im living in Va.
If you want to talk you can reach me at [email protected].
Good Luck and I feel for what your going through.
Mary Jo
I'm sorry that you were disappointed in my post. But my feelings on this issue are VERY strong. This gal gave custody to the grandparents because life was hard etc..Now after all this time she wants them back. She GAVE CUSTODY, she just didn't allow them to *stay* with them for a couple weeks..She gave them custody and then moved AWAY from them. I think this is something that parents shouldn't think is *ok* to do. Everyone goes through hard times, that's life. If you have children, that's a life long committment that you make/sacrifise. I will be a Mother until I DIE! Not until they are 18, or until they move out. I will be mothering for a good 50-70 more years. And Mothering means sacrifising as well. I would bet that these Grandparents have made some *sacrifising* themselves for what the Mother has chose to do with her children.

Sorry if you don't agree, but my feelings are overwelmingly strong when it comes to your children and parenting. I've seen/heard of too many parents that give up on their children, or give them away because it's too much or they want a different life. Don't get this confused with the feelings I have on adoption, I think it's heroic when a parent feels that the children would be better with someone else. They make a decision and stick to it. They don't have their cake and eat it too. Children are not convenient nor is it easy being a parent.

It's WAY too easy to become parents. Parenting will be the most difficult and challenging thing that I will ever do in my life. But it will be the most rewarding.
 
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ROCHELLE VANCURA

Guest
I don't think anyone on the panel has gone through life without mistakes and to jugde someone on a descision they made in a time of of confusion is unfair, But what about those kids they have a right to know there mother know matter what she did.My brother is now in the hospital because he tried to kill himself, his ex threatened to take his children from him its a sad world when people have so much hate that they destroy other peoples lives.These children came into this world by there mother she has every right to try and repair any hurt she has caused.I don't understand we should teach our children to not forgive thats why the family unit no loger exsits in this world.The grandparents have no right keeping those children from there mother that is wrong and sooner or later those children will long for there mothers love and feel angry that they werent given a chance to feel it because there grandparents decieded she made a mistake.She wants a chance to be there mother those kids deserve a second chance with there mother
 

MySonsMom

Senior Member
ROCHELLE VANCURA said:
I don't think anyone on the panel has gone through life without mistakes and to jugde someone on a descision they made in a time of of confusion is unfair, But what about those kids they have a right to know there mother know matter what she did.My brother is now in the hospital because he tried to kill himself, his ex threatened to take his children from him its a sad world when people have so much hate that they destroy other peoples lives.These children came into this world by there mother she has every right to try and repair any hurt she has caused.I don't understand we should teach our children to not forgive thats why the family unit no loger exsits in this world.The grandparents have no right keeping those children from there mother that is wrong and sooner or later those children will long for there mothers love and feel angry that they werent given a chance to feel it because there grandparents decieded she made a mistake.She wants a chance to be there mother those kids deserve a second chance with there mother
I don't disagree with what you are saying. But if she was sincere about wanting to *repair* her relationship with the children, she would have never moved away to another state. Your right, everyone makes mistakes; but what people don't understand is that children are not an object that you move from place to place when things get tough. There are consequences to those sorts of actions. This situation happens way too often and the children are the ones that are affected.

I also never claimed nor will I ever claim not ever making mistakes etc..Making mistakes IS part of life; but you don't toss children around to different homes because life gets tough. Bottom line, this poster GAVE CUSTODY TO THE G-PARENTS!! Then, moved out of state. Now, wants them back. Just amazes me.

[Edited by MySonsMom on 01-08-2001 at 02:04 PM]
 

LegalBeagle

Senior Member
The issue is, that people like MSM and myself, will NEVER, I mean NEVER be able to understand how anyone can give or walk away from their children. I can not think of a single situation that would make me voluntarily give up my children.. and therefore, these discussion are pointless.. because we will never be able to understand.

The situation that our poster discribes is not even close to a terrible, end of the world situation.

The fact that so many people are able to walk away from their children, or want to give up parental rights.. is an indication of why our society is going to hell. Best Interests of the child is a foreign lauguage to many people and third in a list to hate and revenge.
 

MySonsMom

Senior Member
The fact that so many people are able to walk away from their children, or want to give up parental rights.. is an indication of why our society is going to hell. Best Interests of the child is a foreign lauguage to many people and third in a list to hate and revenge. [/B][/QUOTE]

That's right LB...Lets all think back 10-20 yrs ago...This kind of activity rarely happend and when it did it was so secret. So much has changed, as children today vs then have changed so much as well. The only way to stop this cycle is for parents to stop the chaos and own up to what God has given them..Children are a gift from God. When parents forget the fact that they have been blessed with a child(ren) is when the battle begins. Children can and will be difficult, and problems will arise when raising them..God doesn't give us more than we can handle.

You know, when I was pregnant I thought about giving birth to a child that was unhealthy, or physically challenged..And I thought..If that was what I was given as MY child, I would handle it. Because regardless of their faults, they are your children. If you feel you are unable to handle it, then there are many people (including grandparents) that will take on the responsibility and committment to raise them.

Ok, I'm done with that part.

To the poster..To try and get custody back you need to file for custody in the state where the children live. If you feel that the best interest of the children would be to leave their home and come live with you, then get an attorney in the state that you use to live in and file for custody. Then go from there.

[Edited by MySonsMom on 01-08-2001 at 04:27 PM]
 
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mjbyrne

Guest
Legal Begal,

First of all you do not know my situation with my daughter. I am not wanting to walk away from her she has walked away from me and her brothers for a life of drugs and alcohal with her father. I want to give up my rights because I am tired of her running back to me when she wants help and then I try to help her and she beats the **** out of me for doing so. And I would rather be STONED TO DEATH then pay him a penny of Child Support. I don't care what you people think about me or anyone else here. You don't know me I came here for advice not to be blasted.
I think some of you mothers here have way to much time on your hands for mothers.You claim to be great moms but the only mothering I see you doing or I should say tring to do is to other people.
 
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Princess30

Guest
Legal Beagle and my sons mom....if these situations are pointless and you will never understand it then why do u bother to reply to them? I hope and pray that u never get placed into a situation where you have to choose between feeding your children or having heat.....I'm sure though since you talked about God and that children are a blessing from him that you also realize that you would do ANYTHING
to protect them from harm...I made a terrible mistake which I pay for every single second of my life...I don't mind being judged for what I have done because I know exactly what it has cost my children and I have to live with that every single second of my life...and furthermore I tried the welfare system to help me feed my children because the father wouldn't help and even walked to work because he took the car... I tried everything I possibly could to keep my babies and yes the grandparents Stepped up to the plate and I am grateful for that but even the grandmother knows that the kids would be better off w/me but the son wants the marriage back and unless I go back to an abusive relationship I can't have them...and I left the state to keep him from beating on me in front of the children!!!!!
 

LegalBeagle

Senior Member
Princess30 said:
Legal Beagle and my sons mom....if these situations are pointless and you will never understand it then why do u bother to reply to them?
If you look at my reply.. I was also asking you a question so as to help you out.. now you can stick it!
 

LegalBeagle

Senior Member
Re: Legal Begal,

mjbyrne said:
First of all you do not know my situation with my daughter. I am not wanting to walk away from her she has walked away from me and her brothers for a life of drugs and alcohal with her father. I want to give up my rights because I am tired of her running back to me when she wants help and then I try to help her and she beats the **** out of me for doing so. And I would rather be STONED TO DEATH then pay him a penny of Child Support. I don't care what you people think about me or anyone else here. You don't know me I came here for advice not to be blasted.
I think some of you mothers here have way to much time on your hands for mothers.You claim to be great moms but the only mothering I see you doing or I should say tring to do is to other people.
I have never directly replied or commented on your situation. Yours is completely different. I also do not know where you was 'blasted'. All comments so far has been with regards to the original poster. I hope someone else help you out because I certainly will now not deal with your post.
 

MySonsMom

Senior Member
Re: Re: Legal Begal,

I hope someone else help you out because I certainly will now not deal with your post.
[/B][/QUOTE]

I too will end my energy on this thread.
 
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ROCHELLE VANCURA

Guest
It's not for you people to understand you only cast judgment people come hear seeking advice not to be cleansed of there sins.Until you have walked in someone eles's shoes don't begin to assume you wouldn't do the same.I think LB has some serious issues and should keep it to himself I think this person mistakes himself or herself for GOD! Hello we are human and she still has every right to be with her children!Stop casting stones long enough to feel some compassion and insted of hate why don't you wish her luck and pray all the party's involved get what they want they all love those kids I'm sure theres enough love to go around.
 

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