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how long can this drag out?

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fed up with ex

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?Tennessee

My husband got a fantastic job in Atlanta. He moved there this past weekend, and the plans were to join him this weekend with my daughter of whom I have custody of.
My ex (her father) lives in another city in south Tennessee.
My daughter and I WERE planning on moving this weekend and registering her for school next Monday, but after talking to an attorney, I can't move for a while yet. I have to file a petition to move and that gives my ex 60 days notice. If he wants to file a petition of opposition, he would have 30 days in which to do so after he receives my petition to move. The attorney said that he would try to get it into court as soon as possible so that we can all be together as a family again.
My question is this....if it goes to court before the 60 days is up, and he has 30 days to respond, how long do we have to stay here before we can move?
If the court says its ok for us to go, what kind of tricks can my ex try to pull?
She will be going to a great school, we already have a place to live, and my family is down there. So my ex can't say that I'm being vindictive by moving, sshe's not under "a threat of specific and serious harm", and the relocation does not have "specific purpose". I don't think there's anything he can do to try to put up a fight.
Any thoughts?
 


brisgirl825

Senior Member
If he opposes the move, he can request a change in custody. It will then be up to a judge to decide what is in the child's best interests.
If he agrees to the move, then you guys will have to make a new parenting plan.
Either way, if you guys agree or if the judge agrees to your move, then you will be responsible for transportation costs.
I would ask your atty on when to move. When I moved, we waited until the 30 days was up, then left. It wasn't until after the move that the ex contested. We were not reprimanded and we came up with a parenting plan on our own later. However, that was in KS. You definately need to talk to your atty on that point.

GL.
 
B

betterthanher

Guest
Lawyer is misleading you

fed up with ex said:
My daughter and I WERE planning on moving this weekend and registering her for school next Monday, but after talking to an attorney, I can't move for a while yet. I have to file a petition to move and that gives my ex 60 days notice. If he wants to file a petition of opposition, he would have 30 days in which to do so after he receives my petition to move. The attorney said that he would try to get it into court as soon as possible so that we can all be together as a family again.
My question is this....if it goes to court before the 60 days is up, and he has 30 days to respond, how long do we have to stay here before we can move?
If the court says its ok for us to go, what kind of tricks can my ex try to pull?
She will be going to a great school, we already have a place to live, and my family is down there. So my ex can't say that I'm being vindictive by moving, sshe's not under "a threat of specific and serious harm", and the relocation does not have "specific purpose". I don't think there's anything he can do to try to put up a fight.
Any thoughts?
I would like to draw your attention to a rather misleading statement your lawyer made. It is bolded above. Your lawyer is misleading you with that statement as if it's guaranteed you'll get the move. It's not a guarantee -- no matter how much a lawyer tries to spin it. Your lawyer CAN try to get it heard as soon as possible, but not "soon" as it violates your ex's due process rights. Your ex can wait until the 30th day to file his paperwork and then the court will need to process it and schedule the hearing -- and depending on the caseloads of the court, it's hard to tell exactly how long that will be. SO, just to be on the safe side, I'd be prepared to be hanging out where you're at for awhile.

Actually, your move DOES have a "specific purpose" -- it's to be relocate with your husband. You should've been aware of the language in your divorce decree because you sound surprised by all of this.

The relationship the child has with the father will play a significant role whether a Judge will allow the move WITH the child. If this moves has the possibility of disrupting a rather healthy relationship with the child, along with posing a serious threat to his parenting rights to the child, you can almost bank on the Judge refusing the child to be relocated. As Brisgirl said, be prepared to suck up the costs IF allowed since YOU will be the one creating the distance. It would also be in your best interest to work out another parenting plan that is VERY favorable -- both in time with the child and in child support -- for the father. What about giving him primary custody?
You might be "fed up with the ex", but this is the time YOU should be kissing his backside because he can make this move very difficult for you.
 

fed up with ex

Junior Member
reply to betterthanher

I'd like to tell you about my daughter's relationship with her father. They aren't on the best of terms. She doesn't like going to visit him because his wife isn't very friendly toward her, and there are times when stepmom won't hardly talk to her.
The stepmom and her dad have been arguing in front of her, and she ends up going to the guest bedroom where she sleeps...she's tried to talk to him about it and he tells her to get out of his face. At one time, he told my daughter that "she was born to make his life hell". He says hurtful things to her and it upsets her a great deal.
As for the parenting plan, we have already discussed it and have worked it out.
I am trying to be agreeable and nice to him, and so far he's been the same with me. I am willing to travel more than half-way on Fridays so that his commute won't be so long. (he works pretty far from home).
 

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