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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2011

    How long can he keep postponing court?

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

    This is going to be long, so I apologize in advance...

    My ex-boyfriend and I split on New Years, this year. We have 6 month old twins together (they were 5 weeks old at the time). We were not married; paternity has already been established through the courts. We have already had our first court date to establish child support, during which he cried poverty and said so much of his paycheck went to child support for his older son that he couldn't afford to pay me anything (he'd recently been fired from one of his jobs). The judge ordered him to pay $15/week and ordered him to file a modification so he could afford to pay for all of his children. We were scheduled to come back to court tomorrow, and he was supposed to bring all of his financial documents as well as proof of income from the new job he supposedly just started.

    We have also had our first court date for custody. He has not seen or so much as asked about the babies since the day we split, even though I have offered numerous times to meet him somewhere so he can visit with them. Even though I have documentation to back this up, he made it sound to the judge as if the reason for his absence was because I was keeping him from seeing them. The judge ordered he have supervised visitation every Saturday and Sunday for two hours each day. (He also has a permanent order for permanent supervised visitation for his older son which he rarely exercises and if he does, only for short amounts of time. I can give more info on the reasoning for this if needed, all of which was found out by me after we split up). We are supposed to go back to court next week for round 2.

    Today I got a call from the court clerk saying that he called to ask for (and was granted) a postponement for tomorrow's court date due to him living over 2 hours away (a voluntary move on his part) and having no money or transportation to make it to court. So now I have to wait for them to email me the new court date and I guess just hope he doesn't do it again. He has also emailed me stating that he will be calling them to postpone next week's court date as well, for the same reasons.

    However...I have proof that there is a certain event he plans on attending this weekend, which is quite expensive and also 5 hours from where he is now living, so I know he was just coming up with excuses for the court. I'm reasonably sure he does not in fact have the new job he claims, because he doesn't have the training for it. I think the reason he wanted to postpone today is because he knows he'd get his rear handed to him for lying to the judge. Same thing for next week's date. He also has not exercised any of his visitation with our sons, yet I'm expected to show up at the visitation center every weekend and sit there waiting for him to NOT show, which means I can't plan much of anything with the rest of my family because I have to go sit there.

    I guess my questions are...how many times will the court allow him to postpone things before finally saying enough is enough? Especially given the fact that I can prove to them that he was lying about being broke and unable to find transportation...

    Second, this is just a small part of the story. I plan on asking for full legal/physical custody with theraputic supervised visitation at my lawyer's suggestion; she thinks I have a more than reasonable chance of getting that, if he keeps shooting himself in the foot like this. He has a history of mental illness, petty crime and violent behavior towards women and his older son, none of which was known by me prior to our relationship, or I would never have gone there, much less had children with him. However, this is about them now, not me, and I need to know what I have to do in order to protect my children. Will printing out all of his emails and text messages be acceptable, as well as pictures of him at various events on dates that he claimed he was too broke to visit them/come to court, etc, etc? I also have copies of two different orders of protection he has against him...will these be admissable in court as well, or will they not matter since they don't directly relate to our situation?

    If any other info is needed, I am more than happy to provide it. Thank you!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    If you have an attorney, the best thing to do is ask her as she will know the local climate of the courts.

    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
    If you have an attorney, the best thing to do is ask her as she will know the local climate of the courts.
    I know, I will be asking her. However, she's out of town until Monday. She wasn't going to be going with me to tomorrow's hearing anyway...child support here is pretty straightforward. She will be with me next week for the custody hearing, unless he follows through and gets that postponed too. I was just curious if anyone has any other suggestions or if there is any way I can prevent him from constantly postponing our court dates and dragging this thing out for months and months.

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