how long does it take after paperwork has been filed?

[njmommyof1]

What is the name of your state? NJ

my ex and i split up about a month and a half ago and the paperwork has been filed with the court systme. but it seems like it is taking forever! how long does it usually take? ive been so afraid to bring her over to his house in the fear he wont give her back to me. i do feel bad about it but you hear the stories of one parent not giving the child back. and i know there is the option of me staying there while she visits but me and him just do not get along. i know i can sit there fine without saying a word, but he cant. can i get in trouble for being afraid to bring her to him?

but we were not married so do i automatically have custody of her or how does it work?

[CJane]

How long does it take for what?

You said 'the paperwork is filed' - what paperwork? Filed HOW? Has it been signed by a judge and you're just waiting to get a copy in the mail?

What, EXACTLY has been filed? HOW was it filed?

In an unmarried situation, YES you have custody... but is it really in your child's best interest to be denied her father?

[njmommyof1]

sorry i guess i used the wrong word there. i started the process of filing for custody. all that has been done is me going to the court house. i havent even heard back from the courts yet on a set court date or anything.

and i would never take her father out of her life. shell eventually get her own opinion of him. but in the mean time before a judge orders anything and visitation is set between us, what do i do with him seeing her? is it possible that if i drop our daughter off to see him that he'd be able to keep her until we go to court?

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by njmommyof1

sorry i guess i used the wrong word there. i started the process of filing for custody. all that has been done is me going to the court house. i havent even heard back from the courts yet on a set court date or anything.

and i would never take her father out of her life. shell eventually get her own opinion of him. but in the mean time before a judge orders anything and visitation is set between us, what do i do with him seeing her? is it possible that if i drop our daughter off to see him that he'd be able to keep her until we go to court?

Yes, unfortunately it is possible that he could keep her until you go to court. However its also not in her best interest to keep her father away from her either. Somehow the two of you need to be able to communicate/compromise enough to handle things.

Sometimes meeting in a neutral location, like a park, or a McDonald's Playland, or other neutral locations is a solution.

[CJane]

Did you serve your ex?

[njmommyof1]

im not quite sure what you mean by that.

if its has he received anything from the court, then no, well at least i think no.

but the park or a public place sounds like a good idea. thats really the last thing that i wanna do is take her father out of her life being that shes lucky enough that he wants to be part of it.

but what usually happens next? ive also started the process of child support. does everything kind of run hand-in-hand?

oh should i have a lawyer for any of this?

[CJane]

Generally, when you file a motion for custody/visitation (or anything else) you need to serve the other party with the paperwork so that they're aware of the court action and can respond/dispute the filings.

You either need an attorney or you need to research your state statutes and local court rules to figure out how to properly serve someone and the time frame in which to do-so. It's possible you'll need to withdraw your current motion and re-file it, this time serving your ex properly.

[njmommyof1]

that is something i did not know. ill have to check into that tomorrow. thank you so much.

First of all...has paternity ever been legally determined?