How long until its considered abandonment?

[dragonfly216]

What is the name of your state? Alabama

I recently married the father of my step-son, "Chris". His birth mother hasn't called or come by to see him in 2 1/2 years. She kidnapped him about 6 years ago because she had left him and his father for 1 1/2 years and was mad when she found that his father was with me and was very happy. They tried to set up a joint custody arrangement, but she wasn't happy with that, and disappeared with "Chris" for almost 3 years out of pure spite for his father. About 3 years ago she calls out of the blue saying, "Chris needs to see a dentist," which was obvious seeing as how she hadn't touched a toothbrush to his teeth in the whole 3 years. We took him back in and refused to let her take him back home. She came by before Christmas 2 1/2 years ago and we haven't heard from or of her since. How long is long enough to get full custody of Chris since she has abandoned him? Can I get custody too or just his father? (The mother has 2 other children by 2 different dads!)

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? Alabama

I recently married the father of my step-son, "Chris". His birth mother hasn't called or come by to see him in 2 1/2 years. She kidnapped him about 6 years ago because she had left him and his father for 1 1/2 years and was mad when she found that his father was with me and was very happy. They tried to set up a joint custody arrangement, but she wasn't happy with that, and disappeared with "Chris" for almost 3 years out of pure spite for his father. About 3 years ago she calls out of the blue saying, "Chris needs to see a dentist," which was obvious seeing as how she hadn't touched a toothbrush to his teeth in the whole 3 years. We took him back in and refused to let her take him back home. She came by before Christmas 2 1/2 years ago and we haven't heard from or of her since. How long is long enough to get full custody of Chris since she has abandoned him? Can I get custody too or just his father? (The mother has 2 other children by 2 different dads!)

She can't kidnap her own child...she interfered with his visitation. No, you can't get custody. The FATHER can hire an attorney to modify custody based on what you posted.

The fact that she has ...GASP!...two other children by two different men is irrelevant.

 

[jbowman]

The fact that she has ...GASP!...two other children by two different men is irrelevant.

I agree, completely irrelevant and excuse me for saying.... pretty lame to even mention it.

 

[LdiJ]

However, if she hasn't seen the child in 2 1/2 years, and hasn't paid child support either, its possible that they could involuntarily terminate her parents rights so that stepmom could adopt the child.

 

[nextwife]

However, if she hasn't seen the child in 2 1/2 years, and hasn't paid child support either, its possible that they could involuntarily terminate her parents rights so that stepmom could adopt the child.

Has dad ever established LEGAL custody and a CS order?

 

[dragonfly216]

I agree, completely irrelevant and excuse me for saying.... pretty lame to even mention it.

Just saying she's can't even afford to take care of her other kids. I mean she had government supplied free day care and got the kids kicked out of that because she ignored many complaints of head lice. She keeps a nasty apartment, and would rather throw away dirty dishes and clothes than wash them.

 

[dragonfly216]

Has dad ever established LEGAL custody and a CS order?

No they were never married and had no custody arrangement. We tried, as I said earlier, to make custody arrangements for joint custody, but she didn't want the father to have him half the time. We haven't been getting CS simply because we don't know where she is, I mean the child can't even remember her name or face. Thanks to the people who are interested in being humans instead of nose-in-the-air jerks. I was trying to get an idea of what to do, and I appreciate it.

 

[Silverplum]

Just saying she's can't even afford to take care of her other kids. I mean she had government supplied free day care and got the kids kicked out of that because she ignored many complaints of head lice. She keeps a nasty apartment, and would rather throw away dirty dishes and clothes than wash them....

This is a LEGAL board. Keeping a "nasty" apartment is NOT illegal, generally. Throwing away dirty dishes? Legal. Throwing away dirty clothes? Legal.

You need to get a sense of what this board is for. Do some research, do some reading.

 

[jbowman]

Just saying she's can't even afford to take care of her other kids. I mean she had government supplied free day care and got the kids kicked out of that because she ignored many complaints of head lice. She keeps a nasty apartment, and would rather throw away dirty dishes and clothes than wash them. .

So what does that make your boyfriend??? He chose to have kids with her.

 

[carofl93]

Just saying she can't even afford to take care of her other kids. I mean she had government supplied free day care and got the kids kicked out of that because she ignored many complaints of head lice. She keeps a nasty apartment, and would rather throw away dirty dishes and clothes than wash them.

Head lice doesn't necessarily mean she's a dirty person. My stepdaughter has had lice twice this school year, and I keep a darn clean house. Lice don't care if you're clean or dirty, just as long as you're a live meal for them.

As for the 'mean-ness' of the people you've gotten advice from, maybe you should think harder on your posts and not let emotions control them. I am a stepmom as well, and have always gotten fantastic advice from everyone here.

Speaking as a stepmom, we are part of our stepkids lives...some of us more than others, but it doesn't change the fact that we are not legal parts of their lives. We are legal strangers. The biological parents are the ones with the rights and abilities to file paperwork.

Just my 2 cents worth. I hate seeing the good posters here get trashed by people who aren't happy with the answers they get.

Carol

 

[jbowman]

From what I have seen on this board and in real life is that the vast majority (not all--Carofl93 ) of stepmoms or new girlfriends love to bash the moms of their signifcant other's children. It is par for the course. They are all horrible, money grubbing, filthy, rude, selfish women that are so completely jealous of the new relationship that they make their children's lives hell.

I am NOT saying all do this but there is a HUGE amount of steps or new gf's that do this. It is horrible.

Can I get custody too or just his father?

And Oh My God.... NO you can not get custody!!! You are nobody. Learn your place!!

 

[Zephyr]

and as horrible as she may be- she is his mother, not his birth mother- that term is used for adoptees

dad should just file for custody and get the custody issue determined legally- why he was waiting for an agreement from her is beyond me

 

[jbowman]

and as horrible as she may be- she is his mother, not his birth mother- that term is used for adoptees

I AM MOM-- you are no one!!

 

[amberlea434]

Every time I see someone type "BM" I think Bowel Movement.

LOL, J! I'm glad it's not just me that thinks that.

 

[Zephyr]

nope. you are a legal stranger, NOT his mother. unless you adopt him, you will never have ANY kind of custodial rights.

good to see that nothing changes around here- not even the trolls