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How to minimize trauma on court ordered pickup of child?

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NVdad

Member
What is the name of your state? FL, NV

I expect a court order "ANY DAY NOW" holding my ex in contempt for refusing to return our child. I don't believe she will comply willingly, that means I will have to go to FL and get her. That would involve the sheriffs coming to her door... I hate the thought of that. I mean, She's just a kid! I can see it now, the knock at the door, The police, the yelling and name calling by her mother, her mother saying to her that "your father is so evil taking you away from me, boo hoo".

If you've gone through this yourself, please share the experience so I know what to expect.

What can I do to make this situation better for my child?
 


stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Honestly - there is no GOOD way to pick up a kid with the cops in tow. The best you can hope to do is make it as quick and painless as possible. Have some toys in the car for her - DEFINITELY a stuffed animal - and give serious thought to staying overnight somewhere close by so she's not sitting in the car with that picture in her head.

But there's no good way to do it.
 

NVdad

Member
My thoughts too...

Yea, shame her mother had to go this far. I'll also have to get her pet kitty from her mom's house too... Her cat is her best friend in the world and is even covered in the court order!

Damn I hate this.
 

tigger22472

Senior Member
I agree. It's not like you can or should call the other parent and have them prepare the child because then you aren't going to get the child. Depending on the age of the child will depend how much damage control will need to be done and how much you can really say after
 

casa

Senior Member
NVdad said:
What is the name of your state? FL, NV

I expect a court order "ANY DAY NOW" holding my ex in contempt for refusing to return our child. I don't believe she will comply willingly, that means I will have to go to FL and get her. That would involve the sheriffs coming to her door... I hate the thought of that. I mean, She's just a kid! I can see it now, the knock at the door, The police, the yelling and name calling by her mother, her mother saying to her that "your father is so evil taking you away from me, boo hoo".

If you've gone through this yourself, please share the experience so I know what to expect.

What can I do to make this situation better for my child?
I don't know how old your child is- but with my younger child, I just went with the court order & police. I didn't participate in any argument or name-calling. I calmly took our daughter and got in the car. When she asked why the police were there, I explained they were there to help explain the rules of sharing her to Daddy & I- That everyone has to follow rules, even grown ups. Then we went on with our normal life. I teach my children that Police are the good guys and they help...so they don't see police as negatives, and I think that was an important factor.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
Don't forget the kitty carrier. Also call ahead to find out the proceedure, if you only have to present your court order or if your need the FL court to recognize it. You don't want to show up and ask the police for assistance and not have an enforcable order or have to wait overnight or weekend.
 

NVdad

Member
Good advice rmet4nzkx!

rmet4nzkx, I would not have thought to call ahead, thanks.
I found a website where I can download the FL forms. Cool.

I sent a kitty carrier w/ her, turns out her mom used it as a litter box for 3 months. That should have been my first clue that she didn't intend to return kid or kitty! I'll have to buy a new one. I'll just charge her mother for it.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I hope you don't intend to do that by deducting it from child support - that's not going to fly.
 

NVdad

Member
pick up order

from the florida form, Emergency motion for child pick up order:

9. Attorneys’ Fees, Costs, and Suit Monies.
[ / if applies]
I have filed this motion because of wrongful acts of the person listed in paragraph two above. I
request that this Court award reasonable attorney’s fees, costs, and suit monies as applicable or
authorized under Florida law, the UCCJEA, and other legal authorities
 
I am not sure if this would work in your situation....but I live in florida....my situation is that my ex wouldn't return the children at the end of timesharing. In short I had to involve the police....which my ex loves. In the past when the police have shown up he screams and makes a scene and it terrified the kids. I brought this up to the police officer when I called and asked for an escort. What they did for me was send an officer over in plain cloths....carrying proper credentials in an unmarked car....I mean an adult could tell it was a police car.....but the kids were so less intimidated. He even introduced himself to the kids and just said "I am a friend of your Mommy and Daddys and I am here to make sure everyone follows the rules." He was awesome....my ex still ran his mouth some but it was so much better. He even brought stickers for the kids.....
 

dallas702

Senior Member
I've been through this and stood to witness a couple of "extractions" (my word, not theirs). The police who are sent to do this, or the CPS representatives are usually very good at keeping everyone calm. If mom starts to throw a fit they will remove her first, or take her out of the immediate area. The child may be scared at the moment, but much better off after the dust settles.
 

NVdad

Member
You live IN STATE of FL?

In my situation, I am coming from out of state into Florida. It's a little more difficult for me, I have to go to florida, present my NY and NV court orders to yet another court, so I can get yet another court order before I can go to the police.

Yes, I expect my ex to behave badly. That's what she's done so far. I like your suggestion, it may help. Still not the way I would like it handled (that would be for my ex to just put her on a plane as she is supposed to!) But better than uniformed oficers. Too bad there's no way I can have the uniformed officers show up after I leave and poke her with pointed sticks.

Thanks a lot.
 

Rushia

Senior Member
NVdad said:
Too bad there's no way I can have the uniformed officers show up after I leave and poke her with pointed sticks.
ROTFLMAO!!! I like that!!! Just wanted to say that I have followed this and I'm sorry that you have to go thru it. Good Luck and lots of hugs to your little girl.
 

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