How my X is "interpreting" our court order

[cktc20071]

What is the name of your state? Court order was in VA, I live in MD and the child and her father live in PA

I will try and get all the info in this one post as best I can. My X has custody, we have a court order which states this:

"It is ADJUDGED, ORDERED AND DECREED, that the care and custody of the minor child shall be in the joint legal custody of the plaintiff (my X) and the defendant(me) with the plaintiff having the primary physical custody of the child and the defendant to have visitation every other weekend from after school on Friday to Sunday at 6:00pm.; and each Tuesday from after school to Wednesday morning when the defendant shall return timely the child to svhool. The defendant shall be responsible to pick up and drop off the child for visitation."

It also says we rotate holidays. Then it says this.

"It is further ADJUDGED, ORDERED AND DECREED that the defendant shall have four (4) non-consecutive weeks during the child's summer vacation, limited to one week at a time upon 30 days notice to the plaintiff."


Well my X has denied my visitation a few times since the order was given to us last fall. He has taken many "family vacations" as he likes to call them that have denied my scheduled visitation. With the advice from this board regarding that issue I sent him a certified letter stating that I do not agree with him denying my visitation like that. I sent him that letter a few weeks ago.

Now on to todays issue. I get this email from him today:

"Dear **** ,



I think there must be some sort of misunderstanding. Your visitation of every other weekend and Tuesday evenings is the visitation schedule during the school year. During the summertime your visitation consists solely of 4 nonconsecutive weeks of vacation. I consulted with my lawyer and she verified that this is the visitation schedule that was intended by the court. I realize that the language in the order is vague and could be interpreted either way, therefore you can take it back to court in Virginia for clarification if you feel it's necessary. In the meantime, I am going to enforce the order as I believe it was intended. That said, I would have no problem with you changing when you would like to take your four weeks of vacation so long as you give me the required 30 days notice.



With regards to 4th of July, it is not a holiday that is considered in the court order therefore if you would like to use one of your weeks of vacation over it that would be fine.


Lastly, my wife and ****(the child) are coming to visit me in Las Vegas today through Monday. They surprised me with the news today otherwise I would have let you know sooner. Therefore to reach Katelyn during that time you can call my cell phone."



Thanks,

****""


So what should I do? Him and I both know that is NOT what the court intended for the order to mean. He is doing everything he can to try and keep my daughter away from me but he is trying his best to do it "legally" i guess you would say. Is there something I should file with the court to get this court order rewritten clearly for him? or something? I am at a loss here. Should I keep going to pick her up like I have been on my weekends and on Tuesdays? and call the cops when he doesn't let me have her?

 

[GrowUp!]

What is the name of your state? Court order was in VA, I live in MD and the child and her father live in PA

I will try and get all the info in this one post as best I can. My X has custody, we have a court order which states this:

"It is ADJUDGED, ORDERED AND DECREED, that the care and custody of the minor child shall be in the joint legal custody of the plaintiff (my X) and the defendant(me) with the plaintiff having the primary physical custody of the child and the defendant to have visitation every other weekend from after school on Friday to Sunday at 6:00pm.; and each Tuesday from after school to Wednesday morning when the defendant shall return timely the child to svhool. The defendant shall be responsible to pick up and drop off the child for visitation."

It also says we rotate holidays. Then it says this.

"It is further ADJUDGED, ORDERED AND DECREED that the defendant shall have four (4) non-consecutive weeks during the child's summer vacation, limited to one week at a time upon 30 days notice to the plaintiff."


Well my X has denied my visitation a few times since the order was given to us last fall. He has taken many "family vacations" as he likes to call them that have denied my scheduled visitation. With the advice from this board regarding that issue I sent him a certified letter stating that I do not agree with him denying my visitation like that. I sent him that letter a few weeks ago.

So have you filed contempt motion against him? Did you actually ATTEMPT to initiate your scheduled parenting time?

Now on to todays issue. I get this email from him today:

"Dear **** ,



I think there must be some sort of misunderstanding. Your visitation of every other weekend and Tuesday evenings is the visitation schedule during the school year. During the summertime your visitation consists solely of 4 nonconsecutive weeks of vacation. I consulted with my lawyer and she verified that this is the visitation schedule that was intended by the court. I realize that the language in the order is vague and could be interpreted either way, therefore you can take it back to court in Virginia for clarification if you feel it's necessary. In the meantime, I am going to enforce the order as I believe it was intended. That said, I would have no problem with you changing when you would like to take your four weeks of vacation so long as you give me the required 30 days notice.



With regards to 4th of July, it is not a holiday that is considered in the court order therefore if you would like to use one of your weeks of vacation over it that would be fine.


Lastly, my wife and ****(the child) are coming to visit me in Las Vegas today through Monday. They surprised me with the news today otherwise I would have let you know sooner. Therefore to reach Katelyn during that time you can call my cell phone."



Thanks,

****""


So what should I do? Him and I both know that is NOT what the court intended for the order to mean. He is doing everything he can to try and keep my daughter away from me but he is trying his best to do it "legally" i guess you would say. Is there something I should file with the court to get this court order rewritten clearly for him? or something? I am at a loss here. Should I keep going to pick her up like I have been on my weekends and on Tuesdays? and call the cops when he doesn't let me have her?

Well your ex and the attorney are BOTH dumbasses. In addition to your parenting time, you also get the weeks of vacation as stipulated in the order. So, I would send a VERY STRONGLY worded letter to him telling him, in not-so-direct words, that he can take his interpretation, along with a lubricant of his choosing, and shove it. State that you WILL exercise your parenting time, as it is written in the court order -- and re-spell it out and that there is NO language in the order whatsoever that mentions or suggests the elimination of your parenting time as is being interpreted.

ALso mention that if he is not present at the court-ordered location/time for pick-up of your child(ren), that you will waste no time in filing a show cause for contempt and it will be explained to you, in addition to me asking that you pay for all costs and my attorney's fees.

What does your order say EXACTLY about holidays? July 4th, is a holiday, unless you 2 decided it wasnt.

 

[cktc20071]

Thanks for the great advise and i will send him a letter tomorrow first thing saying all of that!
As for 4th of July, no that holiday is not in the court order however we have been rotating 4th of July every year since my daughter has been alive so I just assumed we would continue to do so. When I re-read the court order, 4th of July was not listed as a holiday. here is what it says word for word.

"The parties shall continue to alternate holiday visitation as follows: The parties shall alternate holidays with the defendant having the child the following holidays in even numbered years and the plaintiff having the child in odd numbered years: The child's birthday, Labor day, Christmas Day. The defendant shall have the child in odd numbered years and the plaintiff shall have the child in even numbered years on the following holidays: Easter, Memorial Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and new year's ever and day"


So I am pretty much screwed on the 4th of July i would assume?

 

[moburkes]

Thanks for the great advise and i will send him a letter tomorrow first thing saying all of that!
As for 4th of July, no that holiday is not in the court order however we have been rotating 4th of July every year since my daughter has been alive so I just assumed we would continue to do so. When I re-read the court order, 4th of July was not listed as a holiday. here is what it says word for word.

"The parties shall continue to alternate holiday visitation as follows: The parties shall alternate holidays with the defendant having the child the following holidays in even numbered years and the plaintiff having the child in odd numbered years: The child's birthday, Labor day, Christmas Day. The defendant shall have the child in odd numbered years and the plaintiff shall have the child in even numbered years on the following holidays: Easter, Memorial Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and new year's ever and day"


So I am pretty much screwed on the 4th of July i would assume?

I would assume the same, unless you make that your week.

 

[cktc20071]

So have you filed contempt motion against him? Did you actually ATTEMPT to initiate your scheduled parenting time?

No I didn't actually go. The reason is because i have several letters from him stating that he wasn't going to be there, he even responded to my certified letter via email saying that he still was going to go on the vacations. However, one of the vacations is coming up next month and has not happened yet. He is planning on keeping our daughter for 2 weeks, not going anywhere or on vacation, but his wife is due to have their baby sometime during those 2 weeks and thats there reason for denying my visitation during that time and calling it a "family vacation"

I am suppose to have my baby in July. I sure wish I could get 2 weeks with my daughter during that time but yeah right..lol he would never go for it or allow it.

 

[GrowUp!]

So I am pretty much screwed on the 4th of July i would assume?

Well not necessarily...that does not mean that you can not use that week as vacation (since July 4 is on a wednesday this year).

 

[GrowUp!]

No I didn't actually go. The reason is because i have several letters from him stating that he wasn't going to be there, he even responded to my certified letter via email saying that he still was going to go on the vacations.

Well then you really can not say he denied you parenting time because you did not go to exercise it. If yuo did, then you'd have something.

However, one of the vacations is coming up next month and has not happened yet. He is planning on keeping our daughter for 2 weeks, not going anywhere or on vacation, but his wife is due to have their baby sometime during those 2 weeks and thats there reason for denying my visitation during that time and calling it a "family vacation"

I am suppose to have my baby in July. I sure wish I could get 2 weeks with my daughter during that time but yeah right..lol he would never go for it or allow it.

It doesn't matter if he "doesn't go for it." The court order does not give him that legal authority to make that determination. It states the minimum amount of tiem that you are to give him for YOUR weeks of vacation. I would suggest planning them NOW and mailing them -- via certified letter -- of the weeks you wish to exercize them IN ADDITION to the parenting time you already get in your order.

If he responds that "this week doesn't worK" and that crap, then tell him too bad. He should have let you know prior to any conflicts and that you WILL exercise your parenting tiem on those weeks and if this keeps up, you will file for a change in custody because following the court order is problematic for him.

 

[Zephyr]

check your pms

 

[LdiJ]

How long is the summer vacation? If its 10-12 weeks then I absolutely agree with Growup that the court would not have intended for you to get only 4 weeks of the summer, with no other time with your children.

However, at the same time dad is entitled to some vacation time too. So, if by any chance the summer is only 8 weeks long...then 4 weeks for you is splitting it in half.

You need to at least take it back to court for a clarification and maybe even a modification. Ask the judge to order that you do every other week, for a full week at a time, during the summer...or if that isn't feasible, transportationwise, then ask for half of the summer in a full block.

 

[cktc20071]

How long is the summer vacation?

I do not know the answer to that because my daughter isn't in school and hasn't been in school since February. They moved from VA to PA in February and because of that she was removed from preschool. My X says that his wife is "home schooling" her right now and has been since February.

In the fall she will be attending Kindergarten in a public school so its probably going to be your standard summer vacation time. I think from mid June threw late August or early September (at least thats what it was when i was in school).

 

[cktc20071]

Well then you really can not say he denied you parenting time because you did not go to exercise it. If yuo did, then you'd have something.

Do you think the emails i have from him stating that he was taking the vacation time anyway and denying my visitation enough to show a judge?

It doesn't matter if he "doesn't go for it." The court order does not give him that legal authority to make that determination. It states the minimum amount of tiem that you are to give him for YOUR weeks of vacation. I would suggest planning them NOW and mailing them -- via certified letter -- of the weeks you wish to exercize them IN ADDITION to the parenting time you already get in your order.

If he responds that "this week doesn't worK" and that crap, then tell him too bad. He should have let you know prior to any conflicts and that you WILL exercise your parenting tiem on those weeks and if this keeps up, you will file for a change in custody because following the court order is problematic for him.

I sent him an email last week with my weeks, but you are right. i should send them again in a certified letter also.

 

[LdiJ]

I do not know the answer to that because my daughter isn't in school and hasn't been in school since February. They moved from VA to PA in February and because of that she was removed from preschool. My X says that his wife is "home schooling" her right now and has been since February.

In the fall she will be attending Kindergarten in a public school so its probably going to be your standard summer vacation time. I think from mid June threw late August or early September (at least thats what it was when i was in school).

Ok...then you need to get online and find out what the school's calendar is. Most school systems have websites these days and post their calendars. Once you have that information you can decide how to proceed for the future. Its really too late to modify anything for summer this year anyway. Odds are you wouldn't get a court date before summer was over.

Personally, I think you would get farther with a modification than with attempting contempt. Dad's move is a perfect "change in circumstance" to allow you to petition to modify parenting time, and to remove any ambiguities in the schedule.

You need to do the research and get things going NOW. That way there is no question that something will be in place well before next summer.

 

[cktc20071]

Ok...then you need to get online and find out what the school's calendar is. Most school systems have websites these days and post their calendars. Once you have that information you can decide how to proceed for the future. Its really too late to modify anything for summer this year anyway. Odds are you wouldn't get a court date before summer was over.

I am sure you are right that it is too late to get anything modified before summer is over. However contempt might be the only way to get him to follow the court order this summer, meaning that I continue to see my daughter every other weekend and on Tuesdays like I have been doing.

Personally, I think you would get farther with a modification than with attempting contempt. Dad's move is a perfect "change in circumstance" to allow you to petition to modify parenting time, and to remove any ambiguities in the schedule.

You need to do the research and get things going NOW. That way there is no question that something will be in place well before next summer.

We all lived in Virginia when this order was written. I moved to MD and was still seeing my daughter as much as the court order would allow me. ( we moved 4 hours away) well about a month after I moved to MD, my X moved to PA (his home town, and back in with his mother )which is only 2 hours away from where I live in MD.
Does any of that matter? or just the fact that we now live 2 hours apart matter enough for that modification?

A modification would be great because the Tuesday over night visits are pretty rough. I pick her up at 3pm, we get home around 5-5:30pm, she stays up till about 8:30pm then I have to get her up at 7am to drive her back to PA. most of the darn visit is spent in the car so it sucks.




Also, this court order is from VA, and like i said I live in MD now and my X and daughter live in PA. Is there a way for me to get the "change of venue" so that i can handle all of this without having to go to VA every time? I mean can I get that change of venue without a lawyer?

 

[LdiJ]

I am sure you are right that it is too late to get anything modified before summer is over. However contempt might be the only way to get him to follow the court order this summer, meaning that I continue to see my daughter every other weekend and on Tuesdays like I have been doing.



We all lived in Virginia when this order was written. I moved to MD and was still seeing my daughter as much as the court order would allow me. ( we moved 4 hours away) well about a month after I moved to MD, my X moved to PA (his home town, and back in with his mother )which is only 2 hours away from where I live in MD.
Does any of that matter? or just the fact that we now live 2 hours apart matter enough for that modification?

A modification would be great because the Tuesday over night visits are pretty rough. I pick her up at 3pm, we get home around 5-5:30pm, she stays up till about 8:30pm then I have to get her up at 7am to drive her back to PA. most of the darn visit is spent in the car so it sucks.




Also, this court order is from VA, and like i said I live in MD now and my X and daughter live in PA. Is there a way for me to get the "change of venue" so that i can handle all of this without having to go to VA every time? I mean can I get that change of venue without a lawyer?

If the jurisdiction gets changed (and it probably should) its going to be changed to PA because that is where your daughter now resides. Which means that you will have to go to PA, which might not be any less of a hassle for you.

The fact that you live two hours apart is enough for a modification, since obviously the original orders were based on you living in the same community.

Its unrealistic to expect that you are going to be able to continue the midweek visitation once your daughter starts KG....which is another reason to file for a modification now.

 

[GrowUp!]

I do not know the answer to that because my daughter isn't in school and hasn't been in school since February. They moved from VA to PA in February and because of that she was removed from preschool. My X says that his wife is "home schooling" her right now and has been since February..

And was this decision made with or without your consent? Were you even consulted on this?

As far as the long-distance parenting time, you should check the courts website to see if they have a standard long-distance parenting plan that they order when parent's do not agree. If they do, simply Motion the court for THAT plan. Then the other parent will have to prove how the court's schedule is not in the best interest of the child.